I think a lot of people have a little crazy in them, especially us ladies. Do you ever watch the show Scrubs? I remember this one scene were Karla is talking to Elliot about how we have to hide the crazy a little bit. I think the line she said was, "Turk doesn't know that sometimes I cry because I'm not sure if there is a cat heaven." Occasionally, if I'm having a weird day, I weep because of dog food commercials, especially ones that talk about shelter dogs (poor shelter puppies, all they want to do is love!). But usually it's some problem in my life that completely consumes my mind until escape from it seems impossible. Is that how you feel?
it's kind of like that, yeah. but then again, it's not. i know what the problems in my life are... i know that they are slowly consuming me. i know that work is just an escape... that i busy myself with mundane tasks so i won't think about what's really going on around me. the really scary part about is, i've been having beyong unhealthy thoughts. things that no one should think. things that you think and right after that you go, wow... that's like a crazy person's thoughts. i'm starting to really scare myself... i know i need help. i've finally come to grips with the reality that i will probably have to be in therapy/on medication for the rest of my life... and i've been running from that for a long time. i think that's part of why i want to come home so badly... because i want to run. run away from this horrible fucking place that has made me as crazy as i am.
jeez... i'm totally rambling now. oh well.
you better not move away if i move home. i'll be pissed. or really happy for you... but whatever... i'm selfish.
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jeez... i'm totally rambling now. oh well.
you better not move away if i move home. i'll be pissed.
or really happy for you... but whatever... i'm selfish.
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