Comments | saiyuki_time: Lies - PG-13 (22th Challenge)

lauand in saiyuki_time

Lies - PG-13 (22th Challenge)

Sep 17, 2008 22:34

Title: Lies
Author: Lauand
Beta: Purpleicicles
Pairing: Gojyo/Hakkai
Warning: Worksafe
Prompt: Body language - 70 min
A/N: I sort of cheated in this one. I wrote a lot and it took me a bit more than an hour, but then I decided to remove a large chunk of it and make it a little bit more indirect and subtle, so the fic underwent a lot of editing. I post ( Read more... )

challenge:body language, pair:gojyo/hakkai, author:lauand, rating:pg-13

Comments 2

aonekosama September 17 2008, 21:23:03 UTC

I love the long middle section. There's something in the other parts that just doesn't work for me, but I'm dead tired and can't for the life of me work out what it is... But the discussion between Gojyo and Hakkai captures really well the awkward balance they have on their relationship. Gah, I wish I could find something half intelligent to say about how painfully right and them the things they say feel to me.

lauand September 17 2008, 22:05:02 UTC

I think I prefer the last paragraph myself, but I'm always more comfortable writing the dialogue between those two than the actions or feelings, so that's the part that flowed more naturally.

I would love to know why the rest of the fic didn't exactly work for you, but I can totally understand the exhaustion. I always check the LJ at the end of the day, when I'm too tired to be coherent and the words fail me. I really appreciate that you have commented, though, sometimes when I'm tired I leave it for another day and I end up not telling the author what I really thought or felt when I read their work. So thank you very much for commenting.