Fic: By the Numbers (Star Trek AOS, Kirk/McCoy, PG-13)
Title: By the Numbers
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Gaila, Christopher Pike, Finnegan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Word count: 5119
Summary: Leonard has to think fast when Finnegan sets up a betting pool that could screw up everything he's ever wanted. For the following prompt at
jim_and_bones's Sweethearts Challenge: YOU BET #1 (Bones's POV): It's academy days and some of Jim and Leonard's classmates have a bet on who's going to get Leonard in bed first: Jim or Gaila. As long as Jim and Bones end up with each other, play it as you will.
Leonard leaned back in his chair, taking a break from dictating patient notes. He wanted to write: "Dipshit is too stupid to be allowed to effect personal first aid. Cadet Murphy needs to repeat first grade to relearn basic hygiene." Attempting to remove ear wax with a PADD stylus didn't do anything good to an eardrum. If the kid had just come to the dispensary with the problem, they could have flushed the ear out. Less pain and embarrassment for the young man. Mostly embarrassment. He shook his head at the cadet's folly. At least it wouldn't lead to permanent hearing loss, but it might lead to a bevy of jeers from his friends. Suitable punishment in the competitive atmosphere of the academy.
Unfortunately, his preferred analysis of Cadet Murphy's condition wasn't what Commander Timson, the head of the dispensary, would find adequate (read diplomatic) case notes. He heaved out a long-suffering sigh and started to dictate decidedly more clinical notes to the computer.
Voices outside his office came faintly through the closed door interrupting his thoughts, the sound of his own name piquing his interest. He started to shrug it off as a disgruntled nurse complaining about his 'abrasive' personality, but when he heard it associated with that of Jim Kirk, his ears perked up like a bloodhound scenting a trail.
"So, who do you think is going to get in McCoy's pants for Valentine's Day, Kirk or Gaila?"
Leonard stood up quietly and eased his way to stand closer to the door. If he was lucky, they'd stand there and gossip for a while. He guessed whoever was out there didn't realize he was using that particular office to dictate patient notes or they wouldn't have stood talking about him right in front of it. The medical track cadets shared a number of offices, none of which had nametags on the door to indicate who was occupying it at any time.
"I'm rooting for Gaila. If anyone can get to him, it's bound to be an Orion; all those pheromones, you know. I've got fifty credits riding on it." The second voice sounded downright gleeful.
Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. Oh, lord. Was this another scheme of Mitchell's again, or maybe Finnegan? Finnegan was a malicious prankster, who had some kind of unexplained (well, maybe explainable by the fact Jim kept breaking all his class standing records and his score in the flight sims, that had to make the upperclassman steam) grudge against Jim and against Leonard by proxy as his closest friend. Sounded like something he'd do to fuck with their heads. Leonard found it puzzling, though, since half the academy already thought he and Jim were sleeping together. Why would Finnegan even set up a bet that was a losing proposition from the outset? Unless he thought he knew something that nobody else did.
The original speaker clicked her tongue at what she obviously thought was a mistake. "I admit Finnegan's giving six-to-one odds on Gaila, while he's only giving two-to-one odds on Jim Kirk, which should tell you something. To be expected; we all know Kirk, the smooth fucker." The words have a wistful sound to them.
Leonard stifled a snort; that's not how he would describe Jim. Blatant horn dog was more like it. The more people you asked, you were bound to get lucky at some point. Jim was just willing to take 'no' for an answer more frequently, his percentage of 'yeses' wasn't any more than anyone else's. As far as he knew. Could be his own 'no' wasn't necessarily indicative of the opinion of the rest of the student body.
She continued her analysis of the odds. "Sounds like a sure thing to me; as good as investing in MicroSun Systems, it's money in the bank."
"Yeah, but I still don't understand how Finnegan knows they haven't hooked up yet? I mean, I'm only betting on Gaila for known scientific reasons. Men can not resist an Orion when they put in any effort; it's well-documented," the voice explained as a matter of fact. Leonard was glad for the first question, since it matched his own thinking, but totally pooh-poohed the second. He had more self-control than that.
A muffled giggle made its way through the door. "Finnegan said he had 'eyes and ears' on all of 'em. Rumor has it he bribed someone to hack into the hallway security feeds and some other places he hadn't ought have. He's going to have a viewing party of the results on Sunday."
The words made Leonard stiffen in outrage. No fucking way was Finnegan going to get away with that. Losing his patience with the speculation, Leonard yanked the door open behind the two startled nurses. He gave them the evil eye they expected from him and barked out, "I wouldn't put your money on either, if I were you. I'm a doctor, not a stud horse!" Leonard slammed the door shut and threw himself back in his chair. He had some thinking to do.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The hot water of the shower flowed over Leonard's back and shoulders, easing the aches that knotted the muscles of his neck and spine. Days like this one, with long hours in the clinic after even more stultifying hours seated in overheated classrooms, wiped him out. Plus, his head hurt from all the questions that blundered their way through his gray matter during the last hour of his clinic time. A real shit Monday; hell of way to start out the week.
Turning his back to the shower spray, Leonard tipped his head back into the flow of water for a final rinse. He slicked his hair back with both hands, letting the hot water massage his scalp. God, that felt good. The only thing more relaxing at this point would be sex, but that would be playing straight into Finnegan's hands.
Besides, Leonard was so tired, he thought even his dick was ready for a nap. A little snigger came out of his mouth. Maybe he could at least get someone to tuck him in, which he knew wouldn't be a problem at all, with Finnegan's racket making the rounds of the academy. He knew who the players were and all he had to do was choose. Or, maybe Finnegan was counting on him keeping it in his pants; he couldn't lose that way. In fact, that made more sense than anything else he'd thought of so far.
Leonard hummed to himself. Actually, this might just be the time to take Jim up on all his offers--he'd been trying to talk Leonard into bed for months now. One reason Leonard had held off was to see Jim sweat; he rarely had to work for his conquests. Leonard wasn't a pushover, dammit. Hell, he'd been keeping Jim (and himself, sadly) on the edge since the first time Jim had hit on him. It wasn't only Jim either; Leonard could put a huge bet of his own on Gaila and then take her up on one of her advances. It wasn't like she hadn't been as persistent as Jim in her pursuit. Leonard found it quite flattering to be the object of two very attractive people, really. He couldn't exactly say why he hadn't succumbed to either of them yet, they were both very pretty (and knew it, damn them.)
Shit, there was no point in trying to fool himself. While he didn't need or expect monogamy (from either of them), he did want to be first in someone's thoughts the same way he'd put them first, even if he didn't necessarily want exclusivity at this time either. Leonard just wanted someone who always came back to him in the end. He wasn't sure that Jim could, or would, promise that. With Gaila, well, it just didn't matter in the same way. It wasn't like he didn't have a clear preference, when all was said and done.
Maybe it was time to trust that Jim's persistence, when he had so many other willing choices, was heartfelt and meant there was a deeper connection in the offering. It's not like Jim was just a pretty face and a plethora of the corniest pick-up lines ever. He liked other aspects of Jim, things he often downplayed or even played himself for a fool: his intelligence, his drive, his joie de vivre, his optimism. He had a huge heart; you didn't even have to look for it, he wore it on his sleeve. Easily overlooked; Jim was also skilled at sleight of hand in self-protection. Having all that energy and emotion focused on him was heady in the extreme. Leonard practically yearned for more of it.
So, taking a chance on Jim was a much more serious personal wager with his own emotional well-being than anything Finnegan could dream up. Losing that bet with himself would do much more damage to his heart and psyche than the blow to his ego from knowingly playing into Finnegan's hands.
Leonard shook his head. He was tired of all the effort it took to justify what his heart (and body) was telling him to do versus his more rational thoughts of emotional self-preservation. All his internal debate was getting him nowhere.
Fine. He needed to get out of the shower before he turned into a prune. Or his libido woke back up and kept him awake regardless of his energy levels. That's what thinking of finally having one of his wank fantasies come true did for him. This very moment, though, he was too tired to even beat off; he was getting fucking old. Leonard punched the shower control and turned off the spray of water.
Leonard stood for a few more seconds after the water stopped, using his hands to wring out just a little more water from his hair. After one last full-body shake, he opened the fogged-over door to grab his towel off the rack only to have it handed to him instead. Leonard recognized the scars on the knuckles of the intruding hand. He stepped out of the shower, making a quick note of the fact that Jim was still wearing his cadet reds.
"What are you doing here, Jim; I thought you had a study session with the astrophysics group?" Leonard flipped the towel around his shoulders and scrubbed the water off his back. Jim's bright blue, very interested (Leonard was no dummy when it came to identifying interest), eyes followed the towel as it traveled up and down his back, then over his ass, where he gave his hips an extra little shake. Jim's eyes widened and he licked his lips, the pink tip lingering in one corner before he looked back up at Leonard's face. Leonard smirked at him. Jim wasn't the only one capable of seduction.
"Ah, we called it a night after Sladsky tried to convince us all that you could travel in time by slingshotting around the sun at maximum warp." Jim flapped his hand, waving the idea away as unworthy of merit. "That was after he'd been mainlining Red Bull Classic for four hours straight. We thought it better to take his PADD away than to let him keep making a fool of himself."
Leonard had continued to scrub water off his skin as Jim spoke, finishing with his feet. When he straightened up, Jim's eyes were roving over his shoulders and chest, a light flush riding high on his cheeks. Leonard rolled his shoulders and flexed his arms a little, giving Jim a bit of a gun show. It went to his head a little; he'd never seen Jim watching him so avidly before. Reaching around Jim, he slung his towel over the wall-mounted bar.
"See something you like, kid?" Not waiting for an answer, he turned to the sink to pick up his toothbrush and toothpaste. Leonard watched Jim in the mirror as he went through his evening hygiene routine. The kid's eyes couldn't stay focused; they flitted from Leonard's reflection to his backside (sometimes his shoulders, sometimes his ass) and back again. Finally, Jim's eyes settled on Leonard's in the mirror.
When the words finally seemed to sink in, Jim froze in place like a deer in the headlights. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he gathered his thoughts enough to speak. Leonard couldn't smirk around his toothbrush, but he kept his eyes pinned on Jim's until he looked away in discomfort.
What he did say, though, surprised Leonard and made him straighten up from where he had bent over the sink to spit. The kid hooked his thumb over his shoulder at the living area behind him.
"I'll get outta your hair, Bones. I only stopped by to say have a nice evening." Leonard watched, flabbergasted, as Jim started to inch his way out of the bathroom. He looked like he was going to make a break for it.
"Jim, wait!" White foam sprayed out of Leonard's mouth and onto the tile floor. He swiped the back of his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't spit all over Jim.
"What the dickens is going on with you?" He grabbed Jim by the upper arm, bringing him to an abrupt halt mere inches in front of the door. Leonard spun him around, slamming the door shut behind him to prevent his escape. Also, to keep him where Finnegan's little devices couldn't overhear.
Yeah, he'd figured that out earlier on his own, sorta. At least he knew who to call in this kind of a situation. Gaila had been happy to help when he'd explained Finnegan's chicanery. They'd found a number of devices in the living area, but none in the bathroom. Apparently, Finnegan did have some scruples. Gaila had traced the feeds back to Finnegan's console. Further diagnostics discovered the same had been done to Jim's quarters. Finnegan was a rat bastard.
Jim quivered in his grip, caught between a fight or flight mode from being cornered up against the sink by Leonard.
"Just, ah, just thought I'd check to see if you had plans for this weekend?" His voice squeaked a little. "Uhm, Valentine's Day, you know."
Leonard dropped his hand. "Yes, I know. As does the whole damn academy, Jim. For certain sure those who put credits down on who was going to get into my pants first--you or Gaila--all know."
Jim looked at his feet, at the wall, at the toilet even--anywhere but at Leonard. He scratched at the back of his neck in discomfort.
"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you'd heard about that or not." He blew out a breath and then, finally, looked Leonard in the eyes. "Would you put some clothes on?" He reached up and tugged on the collar of his red tunic. "Hot in here, Bones. Can't we go into the living area?"
Leonard blinked. Jim Kirk, asking a sentient being, a naked sentient being, to put clothes on? He reached up and placed the back of one hand against Jim's forehead. Sure, the humidity had him sweating a little, but no fever.
"All right; who are you and what have you done with Jim Kirk?" Leonard demanded.
Jim slapped his hand away. "Who am I? Who are you? You never would have stood around without a towel or shorts or something on before, Mr. Modesty. Or just told me to get the hell out. You're the epitome of a southern gentleman: all charm and manners. What is wrong with you?"
Leonard threw his hands up in the air before dropping them to settle on his hips. He watched Jim's eyes follow the movement until they stopped at his groin and gave it an appreciative once over. Leonard almost laughed when Jim came to himself with a start and looked away, pink once again rising under the skin of his face. It just made his eyes look bluer, dammit.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Jim! You're no blushing Victorian maiden. Isn't this what you've been aiming for since, well, since forever? All the come-ons, the innuendo, the "accidental" drunken groping?"
Leonard crowded into Jim's personal space, forcing him up against the sink to the point he started to bend backward and had to use his hands to brace himself on the edge of the counter. "So, I'm fair game as long as it's on your terms? But not Finnegan's, or more importantly, mine?"
Jim protested, "If it's yours, why now? Why when it's playing right into Finnegan's hands? I don't understand; you've never indicated that you wanted that, that you wanted me." Leonard's heart gave a jolt at the hint of desperation in his voice, the doubt in his words and on his face. Maybe Leonard's decision to take a chance on Jim was misplaced.
Jim tried to straighten up, but Leonard wouldn't back down. He wanted reasons, Leonard would give him reasons.
One hand raised in front of Jim's face, he curled the fingers into his palm with the thumb pointing up; he started to count off. "One, the bet was a kick in the pants. Figured since it was something I'd always meant to do, it was time to put you out of your misery, Finnegan or no Finnegan."
Jim nearly went cross-eyed looking at his thumb, but jerked his eyes back to Leonard's face when he expressed his intentions. Dumbstruck was not a good look on Jim; made him look chinless.
"Two," Leonard lifted the index finger. "Just because I want to sleep with you doesn't mean I don't want to sleep with Gaila, too." He smirked at the way Jim's eyelids fluttered at what must be seriously intriguing images behind them, probably of the two of them together. With a soft, breathy moan, his hand reached down to tweak a small adjustment in his pants. Leonard said it before, he'd say it again: Jim Kirk was a horn dog.
When Jim's attention returned to Leonard, he had lost the dumbstruck look from before (seriously not a good look on him.) Leonard could practically see the gears turning in his head. Undoubtedly, Jim was figuring out the best way to manipulate things to get all three of them in bed together; nothing Leonard was averse to by any means.
Leonard commanded, "Now get your head back in the game, Jim, and outta your pants." Jim's head sort of went up and down at a diagonal, like he didn't know if he should nod or shake his head. Leonard gave a little chuckle. "I feel I should tell you, I've only held off taking that sweet thing to bed because I didn't want her to be able to crow about it at you."
Jim grimaced at him, "Thanks, I think."
"You're welcome." Leonard flipped his middle finger up to join the two already lifted. "And three, I want to beat Finnegan at his own game."
"That makes no sense, Bones. Either option, me or Gaila, he's going to make money off of us."
Leonard curled his mouth up in a sly grin. "Oh, I'm not so sure about that. What do you think would happen if word got around that I didn't sleep with just one of you at the same time, but both? There's no odds set for a threesome."
Jim's eyes lost focus, practically rolling up into the back of his head. He'd deny it later, but he let out a little whimper that made Leonard chuckle.
Leonard poked him in the forehead with his index finger. "Earth to Kirk. Are you with me?" He grinned at Jim, watched the tip of his tongue come out to lick at his bottom lip before he bit his lower lip trying to hold back his smile of glee. He actually giggled. Goddamn that tongue and those plump lips; Leonard really wanted to become very familiar with the feel of them, and soon. But not tonight. He and Jim--and Gaila--had some planning to do.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The crowd in the room listened avidly to the sounds of slurping and gasping. Some of them clenched their hands tight in their laps, some clenched them in front of their mouths. Probably trying to hold in their own moans thought Leonard as he watched from his position next to the monitoring post set up in the room next door. Everything the voyeuristic cadets thought was happening onscreen resided solely in their imaginations; the accompanying video displayed almost nothing but wavy lines and static. Occasionally, one limb or some other indistinct body part popped into view on the grainy screen, but nothing completely identifiable, particularly not faces.
"Oh, oh! Take me you big hunk of man meat." Breathy gasps followed by a hearty squeal had half the crowd clenching their legs together. Leonard bit his lip, stifling the belly laugh that wanted to escape. Jim had gone to town with the cliches, throwing in words like "disco stick" and "passion purse". Somewhere, he'd picked up a whoopee cushion for "pussy farts, Bones, good sex always has them." Jim had also brought a variety of objects for sound effects: a paddle for spanking sounds, a squeeze bottle filled with watered down mayonnaise (for verisimilitude, Bones, it's important to match color and viscosity), a soft hide flail ("from your own collection, Jim?"), and a cherry pie (just because.)
The performance was still far from its conclusion when Captain Pike signalled to the security detail he'd brought with him that it was time to shut it down. They exited the room with Leonard, Jim and Gaila close on their heels.
Seconds later, they burst through the door of the supposedly incognito screening room. One of the security detail barked, "Attention on deck!" There was a mad scramble by the crowd of cadets to get to their feet. Chairs flew willy-nilly across the floor with screeching sounds until silence descended on the room as one-by-one the cadets all stood at attention.
The captain looked around the room, taking in the faces of the attendees. There were obviously too many of them for him to remember all the names, but the security detail would handle the more tedious details.
"Well, well, what have we got here?" Captain Pike prowled to the front of the room to stand next to the vidscreen controls. He turned slightly to look at the video that still played on it. "Cadet Finnegan, would you care to explain this prurient gathering?"
Finnegan stood behind the controls, his chest lifted, back ramrod straight. The arrogance on his face infuriated Leonard. It was obvious the little shit thought he was going to pull one over on Captain Pike. Well, he'd find that the rope was a heck of a lot shorter than he anticipated.
"Yes, sir. Cadets Kirk, Orci and McCoy sold me a copy of a sex vid they made of themselves. I was going to report them for violating the cadet code of conduct once the facts were verified. I didn't want to get pulled into a hoax by them." Finnegan stared straight ahead, attempting to look solemn, but Leonard could see the twist to one side of his mouth that said he thought he had the upper hand. Little did he know.
"Is that so, cadet? You're saying rather than report it to your section leader, you advertised it to student body? At that it took the twenty-five or so of you here to identify it as a sex vid? I despair at the level of intelligence in this room." Captain Pike threw a withering look at the sweating cadets. Leonard could see a number of them cringing where they stood.
"Front and center, Finnegan." Captain Pike waited until Finnegan left his position at the console to stand in front of him at attention before he addressed him again.
"For your information, cadet, this vid was authorized by me." His voice was mild-mannered, but the words hit the room like a bombshell. Muffled gasps erupted out of a dozen mouths before silence fell again at a stern glance directed out at the crowd.
"I authorized it after I was shown the network diagnostics of all the audio and video devices that you planted in these cadets' rooms; feeds whose origins were traced back to your console in your quarters." He began to walk slowly around Finnegan, who was finally starting to show some hint of nerves in the way his hands twitched at his sides.
"You speak of the code of conduct, cadet Finnegan. How many times have you violated Article 134 with your actions, hmmm? We're not going to count them up right now, but rest assured, you'll be hearing the full gist read out at your Article 15 hearing." Captain Pike came to a halt in front, facing the rest of the cadets.
"As for the rest of you, your names will be turned over to your section leaders and advisors for further disposition for your complicit action in encouraging this behavior on the part of cadet Finnegan. There is no market without demand. You will all be tasked with forty-eight hours of Extra Military Instruction. Ladies and gentlemen, be prepared to give up your weekend liberty for the foreseeable future." There were a number disgruntled faces in the crowd, but Leonard could see most of them looked relieved not to be facing captain's mast along with Finnegan.
"Now, before I leave you in the competent hands of security, I thought you might like to see what your credits actually got you." Pulling a small chip from his pocket, the captain manned the vid console and plugged it in to play. Crisp, clear pictures appeared on the screen.
In them, the threesome, clothed in athletic gear that revealed enough arm and leg to imply nudity, could be seen wielding a number of objects. They all sat on the bed: Gaila had the paddle, Jim had the squirt bottle, and Leonard sat on the whoopee cushion between them. Pike stood off to one side holding a small plate, fork digging into a piece of the cherry pie as he watched the proceedings with a critical eye.
"Oooh, baby," Gaila moaned at the camera. "Give it to me gooood." The paddle came down on the leather surface of Jim's bomber coat with a hearty thwack. Leonard sat on the bed bouncing up and down, making the springs squeak and the headboard bang, muffled farting sounds issuing from the bed coverings under him. Next to him, Jim held the squirt bottle with one hand, ready to give it a squeeze at the climax of Gaila's oohs and aahhs.
Captain Pike stopped the vid. "I think you get the picture, now. The whole picture. The security detail will come around before you leave. Don't try to give them any excuses or you will be facing me along with cadet Finnegan in my office. Understood?"
A chorus of "ayes" rose up from the audience.
"Dismissed." So saying, the captain exited the room. Leonard, Gaila and Jim followed quietly behind him. No point in rubbing it in, they had proved their point quite nicely. Finnegan was going down.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The next day, Leonard walked out of Captain Pike's office light at heart. He barely ducked the high-five headed for his face as he cleared the threshold. Slapping the hand away, he gave Jim a disgruntled look. "Careful, you could poke an eye out with that thing, Jim."
"You say that like it's a bad thing, Bones." Jim wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Leonard's hand changed direction and connected with the back of Jim's head, earning him a pout. He liked that pout, it made Jim's lips look plumper and pinker than they already were, even more kissable.
"Not the same thing, brat. Save it for the bedroom." Leonard bumped shoulders with Jim, flashing him a heated look from under his lashes. He got a kick out of the way Jim's breath caught and his eyes dilated. Leonard looked forward to harnessing that arousal later. Oh, yeah, he had plans. Plans that had been a long time coming.
"Did you see the look on Finnegan's face? Especially when Captain Pike put him on academic suspension? There goes his class standing." Gaila threw her arms around Leonard's neck, pulling him down to place a smacking kiss on his cheek.
Leonard wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight hug in return. "I sure did, sweetheart. Thank you so much for helping us put that sumbitch in his place."
Gaila ran her hand up and down Leonard's chest. "Well, you know how you and Jim can repay me."
Jim threw an arm over Leonard's shoulder, joining in the hug. "Oh, we'll be quite happy to, won't we, Bones?"
"Mm-hmm. That we will. But not tonight. Jim and I missed out on his plans for Valentine's Day; we have a lot of catching up to do." Plans that Leonard loathed having to forego because of Finnegan, but knew that realistically it was the only way to subvert that asshole's plans.
Despite the gloriously lush, feminine feeling of Gaila pressed up against his chest that he absolutely wanted to revel in, Leonard pulled her hands down from around his neck. He placed a kiss on the back of first one hand then the other, giving her a look of promise for the future.
Gaila sighed. "Sugar plum, you are absolutely delightful. How on any planet did you end up with Jim Kirk?"
"Hey! I'm not something you just end up with." Jim pursed his mouth in a moue of discontent. Leonard realized he seemed to have a bit of a fetish for Jim's lips. He really wanted to kiss that look off his face.
Leonard threw an elbow into Jim's side. He skittered away, taking up position next to Gaila instead. Leonard rolled his eyes. "Quit pouting, kid. It means you ended up with me, doesn't it?"
Jim's face lit up with a huge smile. "Yeah, I did, didn't I? Best thing that ever happened to me."
"And don't you forget it." Leonard threw his arm over Jim's shoulder and steered him down the hallway. "Now, why don't you come show me what you had planned for Valentine's Day. I'll bet it was something hokey, wasn't it?"
"All bets are off, Bones; haven't you learned your lesson by now?" Jim brayed in laughter. Yeah, not one of his more attractive attributes, but Leonard was willing to take the good with the bad. It was all in the odds.
~~~~fin~~~~
Also available at AO3
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Gaila, Christopher Pike, Finnegan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Word count: 5119
Summary: Leonard has to think fast when Finnegan sets up a betting pool that could screw up everything he's ever wanted. For the following prompt at
jim_and_bones's Sweethearts Challenge: YOU BET #1 (Bones's POV): It's academy days and some of Jim and Leonard's classmates have a bet on who's going to get Leonard in bed first: Jim or Gaila. As long as Jim and Bones end up with each other, play it as you will.
Leonard leaned back in his chair, taking a break from dictating patient notes. He wanted to write: "Dipshit is too stupid to be allowed to effect personal first aid. Cadet Murphy needs to repeat first grade to relearn basic hygiene." Attempting to remove ear wax with a PADD stylus didn't do anything good to an eardrum. If the kid had just come to the dispensary with the problem, they could have flushed the ear out. Less pain and embarrassment for the young man. Mostly embarrassment. He shook his head at the cadet's folly. At least it wouldn't lead to permanent hearing loss, but it might lead to a bevy of jeers from his friends. Suitable punishment in the competitive atmosphere of the academy.
Unfortunately, his preferred analysis of Cadet Murphy's condition wasn't what Commander Timson, the head of the dispensary, would find adequate (read diplomatic) case notes. He heaved out a long-suffering sigh and started to dictate decidedly more clinical notes to the computer.
Voices outside his office came faintly through the closed door interrupting his thoughts, the sound of his own name piquing his interest. He started to shrug it off as a disgruntled nurse complaining about his 'abrasive' personality, but when he heard it associated with that of Jim Kirk, his ears perked up like a bloodhound scenting a trail.
"So, who do you think is going to get in McCoy's pants for Valentine's Day, Kirk or Gaila?"
Leonard stood up quietly and eased his way to stand closer to the door. If he was lucky, they'd stand there and gossip for a while. He guessed whoever was out there didn't realize he was using that particular office to dictate patient notes or they wouldn't have stood talking about him right in front of it. The medical track cadets shared a number of offices, none of which had nametags on the door to indicate who was occupying it at any time.
"I'm rooting for Gaila. If anyone can get to him, it's bound to be an Orion; all those pheromones, you know. I've got fifty credits riding on it." The second voice sounded downright gleeful.
Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. Oh, lord. Was this another scheme of Mitchell's again, or maybe Finnegan? Finnegan was a malicious prankster, who had some kind of unexplained (well, maybe explainable by the fact Jim kept breaking all his class standing records and his score in the flight sims, that had to make the upperclassman steam) grudge against Jim and against Leonard by proxy as his closest friend. Sounded like something he'd do to fuck with their heads. Leonard found it puzzling, though, since half the academy already thought he and Jim were sleeping together. Why would Finnegan even set up a bet that was a losing proposition from the outset? Unless he thought he knew something that nobody else did.
The original speaker clicked her tongue at what she obviously thought was a mistake. "I admit Finnegan's giving six-to-one odds on Gaila, while he's only giving two-to-one odds on Jim Kirk, which should tell you something. To be expected; we all know Kirk, the smooth fucker." The words have a wistful sound to them.
Leonard stifled a snort; that's not how he would describe Jim. Blatant horn dog was more like it. The more people you asked, you were bound to get lucky at some point. Jim was just willing to take 'no' for an answer more frequently, his percentage of 'yeses' wasn't any more than anyone else's. As far as he knew. Could be his own 'no' wasn't necessarily indicative of the opinion of the rest of the student body.
She continued her analysis of the odds. "Sounds like a sure thing to me; as good as investing in MicroSun Systems, it's money in the bank."
"Yeah, but I still don't understand how Finnegan knows they haven't hooked up yet? I mean, I'm only betting on Gaila for known scientific reasons. Men can not resist an Orion when they put in any effort; it's well-documented," the voice explained as a matter of fact. Leonard was glad for the first question, since it matched his own thinking, but totally pooh-poohed the second. He had more self-control than that.
A muffled giggle made its way through the door. "Finnegan said he had 'eyes and ears' on all of 'em. Rumor has it he bribed someone to hack into the hallway security feeds and some other places he hadn't ought have. He's going to have a viewing party of the results on Sunday."
The words made Leonard stiffen in outrage. No fucking way was Finnegan going to get away with that. Losing his patience with the speculation, Leonard yanked the door open behind the two startled nurses. He gave them the evil eye they expected from him and barked out, "I wouldn't put your money on either, if I were you. I'm a doctor, not a stud horse!" Leonard slammed the door shut and threw himself back in his chair. He had some thinking to do.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The hot water of the shower flowed over Leonard's back and shoulders, easing the aches that knotted the muscles of his neck and spine. Days like this one, with long hours in the clinic after even more stultifying hours seated in overheated classrooms, wiped him out. Plus, his head hurt from all the questions that blundered their way through his gray matter during the last hour of his clinic time. A real shit Monday; hell of way to start out the week.
Turning his back to the shower spray, Leonard tipped his head back into the flow of water for a final rinse. He slicked his hair back with both hands, letting the hot water massage his scalp. God, that felt good. The only thing more relaxing at this point would be sex, but that would be playing straight into Finnegan's hands.
Besides, Leonard was so tired, he thought even his dick was ready for a nap. A little snigger came out of his mouth. Maybe he could at least get someone to tuck him in, which he knew wouldn't be a problem at all, with Finnegan's racket making the rounds of the academy. He knew who the players were and all he had to do was choose. Or, maybe Finnegan was counting on him keeping it in his pants; he couldn't lose that way. In fact, that made more sense than anything else he'd thought of so far.
Leonard hummed to himself. Actually, this might just be the time to take Jim up on all his offers--he'd been trying to talk Leonard into bed for months now. One reason Leonard had held off was to see Jim sweat; he rarely had to work for his conquests. Leonard wasn't a pushover, dammit. Hell, he'd been keeping Jim (and himself, sadly) on the edge since the first time Jim had hit on him. It wasn't only Jim either; Leonard could put a huge bet of his own on Gaila and then take her up on one of her advances. It wasn't like she hadn't been as persistent as Jim in her pursuit. Leonard found it quite flattering to be the object of two very attractive people, really. He couldn't exactly say why he hadn't succumbed to either of them yet, they were both very pretty (and knew it, damn them.)
Shit, there was no point in trying to fool himself. While he didn't need or expect monogamy (from either of them), he did want to be first in someone's thoughts the same way he'd put them first, even if he didn't necessarily want exclusivity at this time either. Leonard just wanted someone who always came back to him in the end. He wasn't sure that Jim could, or would, promise that. With Gaila, well, it just didn't matter in the same way. It wasn't like he didn't have a clear preference, when all was said and done.
Maybe it was time to trust that Jim's persistence, when he had so many other willing choices, was heartfelt and meant there was a deeper connection in the offering. It's not like Jim was just a pretty face and a plethora of the corniest pick-up lines ever. He liked other aspects of Jim, things he often downplayed or even played himself for a fool: his intelligence, his drive, his joie de vivre, his optimism. He had a huge heart; you didn't even have to look for it, he wore it on his sleeve. Easily overlooked; Jim was also skilled at sleight of hand in self-protection. Having all that energy and emotion focused on him was heady in the extreme. Leonard practically yearned for more of it.
So, taking a chance on Jim was a much more serious personal wager with his own emotional well-being than anything Finnegan could dream up. Losing that bet with himself would do much more damage to his heart and psyche than the blow to his ego from knowingly playing into Finnegan's hands.
Leonard shook his head. He was tired of all the effort it took to justify what his heart (and body) was telling him to do versus his more rational thoughts of emotional self-preservation. All his internal debate was getting him nowhere.
Fine. He needed to get out of the shower before he turned into a prune. Or his libido woke back up and kept him awake regardless of his energy levels. That's what thinking of finally having one of his wank fantasies come true did for him. This very moment, though, he was too tired to even beat off; he was getting fucking old. Leonard punched the shower control and turned off the spray of water.
Leonard stood for a few more seconds after the water stopped, using his hands to wring out just a little more water from his hair. After one last full-body shake, he opened the fogged-over door to grab his towel off the rack only to have it handed to him instead. Leonard recognized the scars on the knuckles of the intruding hand. He stepped out of the shower, making a quick note of the fact that Jim was still wearing his cadet reds.
"What are you doing here, Jim; I thought you had a study session with the astrophysics group?" Leonard flipped the towel around his shoulders and scrubbed the water off his back. Jim's bright blue, very interested (Leonard was no dummy when it came to identifying interest), eyes followed the towel as it traveled up and down his back, then over his ass, where he gave his hips an extra little shake. Jim's eyes widened and he licked his lips, the pink tip lingering in one corner before he looked back up at Leonard's face. Leonard smirked at him. Jim wasn't the only one capable of seduction.
"Ah, we called it a night after Sladsky tried to convince us all that you could travel in time by slingshotting around the sun at maximum warp." Jim flapped his hand, waving the idea away as unworthy of merit. "That was after he'd been mainlining Red Bull Classic for four hours straight. We thought it better to take his PADD away than to let him keep making a fool of himself."
Leonard had continued to scrub water off his skin as Jim spoke, finishing with his feet. When he straightened up, Jim's eyes were roving over his shoulders and chest, a light flush riding high on his cheeks. Leonard rolled his shoulders and flexed his arms a little, giving Jim a bit of a gun show. It went to his head a little; he'd never seen Jim watching him so avidly before. Reaching around Jim, he slung his towel over the wall-mounted bar.
"See something you like, kid?" Not waiting for an answer, he turned to the sink to pick up his toothbrush and toothpaste. Leonard watched Jim in the mirror as he went through his evening hygiene routine. The kid's eyes couldn't stay focused; they flitted from Leonard's reflection to his backside (sometimes his shoulders, sometimes his ass) and back again. Finally, Jim's eyes settled on Leonard's in the mirror.
When the words finally seemed to sink in, Jim froze in place like a deer in the headlights. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he gathered his thoughts enough to speak. Leonard couldn't smirk around his toothbrush, but he kept his eyes pinned on Jim's until he looked away in discomfort.
What he did say, though, surprised Leonard and made him straighten up from where he had bent over the sink to spit. The kid hooked his thumb over his shoulder at the living area behind him.
"I'll get outta your hair, Bones. I only stopped by to say have a nice evening." Leonard watched, flabbergasted, as Jim started to inch his way out of the bathroom. He looked like he was going to make a break for it.
"Jim, wait!" White foam sprayed out of Leonard's mouth and onto the tile floor. He swiped the back of his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't spit all over Jim.
"What the dickens is going on with you?" He grabbed Jim by the upper arm, bringing him to an abrupt halt mere inches in front of the door. Leonard spun him around, slamming the door shut behind him to prevent his escape. Also, to keep him where Finnegan's little devices couldn't overhear.
Yeah, he'd figured that out earlier on his own, sorta. At least he knew who to call in this kind of a situation. Gaila had been happy to help when he'd explained Finnegan's chicanery. They'd found a number of devices in the living area, but none in the bathroom. Apparently, Finnegan did have some scruples. Gaila had traced the feeds back to Finnegan's console. Further diagnostics discovered the same had been done to Jim's quarters. Finnegan was a rat bastard.
Jim quivered in his grip, caught between a fight or flight mode from being cornered up against the sink by Leonard.
"Just, ah, just thought I'd check to see if you had plans for this weekend?" His voice squeaked a little. "Uhm, Valentine's Day, you know."
Leonard dropped his hand. "Yes, I know. As does the whole damn academy, Jim. For certain sure those who put credits down on who was going to get into my pants first--you or Gaila--all know."
Jim looked at his feet, at the wall, at the toilet even--anywhere but at Leonard. He scratched at the back of his neck in discomfort.
"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you'd heard about that or not." He blew out a breath and then, finally, looked Leonard in the eyes. "Would you put some clothes on?" He reached up and tugged on the collar of his red tunic. "Hot in here, Bones. Can't we go into the living area?"
Leonard blinked. Jim Kirk, asking a sentient being, a naked sentient being, to put clothes on? He reached up and placed the back of one hand against Jim's forehead. Sure, the humidity had him sweating a little, but no fever.
"All right; who are you and what have you done with Jim Kirk?" Leonard demanded.
Jim slapped his hand away. "Who am I? Who are you? You never would have stood around without a towel or shorts or something on before, Mr. Modesty. Or just told me to get the hell out. You're the epitome of a southern gentleman: all charm and manners. What is wrong with you?"
Leonard threw his hands up in the air before dropping them to settle on his hips. He watched Jim's eyes follow the movement until they stopped at his groin and gave it an appreciative once over. Leonard almost laughed when Jim came to himself with a start and looked away, pink once again rising under the skin of his face. It just made his eyes look bluer, dammit.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Jim! You're no blushing Victorian maiden. Isn't this what you've been aiming for since, well, since forever? All the come-ons, the innuendo, the "accidental" drunken groping?"
Leonard crowded into Jim's personal space, forcing him up against the sink to the point he started to bend backward and had to use his hands to brace himself on the edge of the counter. "So, I'm fair game as long as it's on your terms? But not Finnegan's, or more importantly, mine?"
Jim protested, "If it's yours, why now? Why when it's playing right into Finnegan's hands? I don't understand; you've never indicated that you wanted that, that you wanted me." Leonard's heart gave a jolt at the hint of desperation in his voice, the doubt in his words and on his face. Maybe Leonard's decision to take a chance on Jim was misplaced.
Jim tried to straighten up, but Leonard wouldn't back down. He wanted reasons, Leonard would give him reasons.
One hand raised in front of Jim's face, he curled the fingers into his palm with the thumb pointing up; he started to count off. "One, the bet was a kick in the pants. Figured since it was something I'd always meant to do, it was time to put you out of your misery, Finnegan or no Finnegan."
Jim nearly went cross-eyed looking at his thumb, but jerked his eyes back to Leonard's face when he expressed his intentions. Dumbstruck was not a good look on Jim; made him look chinless.
"Two," Leonard lifted the index finger. "Just because I want to sleep with you doesn't mean I don't want to sleep with Gaila, too." He smirked at the way Jim's eyelids fluttered at what must be seriously intriguing images behind them, probably of the two of them together. With a soft, breathy moan, his hand reached down to tweak a small adjustment in his pants. Leonard said it before, he'd say it again: Jim Kirk was a horn dog.
When Jim's attention returned to Leonard, he had lost the dumbstruck look from before (seriously not a good look on him.) Leonard could practically see the gears turning in his head. Undoubtedly, Jim was figuring out the best way to manipulate things to get all three of them in bed together; nothing Leonard was averse to by any means.
Leonard commanded, "Now get your head back in the game, Jim, and outta your pants." Jim's head sort of went up and down at a diagonal, like he didn't know if he should nod or shake his head. Leonard gave a little chuckle. "I feel I should tell you, I've only held off taking that sweet thing to bed because I didn't want her to be able to crow about it at you."
Jim grimaced at him, "Thanks, I think."
"You're welcome." Leonard flipped his middle finger up to join the two already lifted. "And three, I want to beat Finnegan at his own game."
"That makes no sense, Bones. Either option, me or Gaila, he's going to make money off of us."
Leonard curled his mouth up in a sly grin. "Oh, I'm not so sure about that. What do you think would happen if word got around that I didn't sleep with just one of you at the same time, but both? There's no odds set for a threesome."
Jim's eyes lost focus, practically rolling up into the back of his head. He'd deny it later, but he let out a little whimper that made Leonard chuckle.
Leonard poked him in the forehead with his index finger. "Earth to Kirk. Are you with me?" He grinned at Jim, watched the tip of his tongue come out to lick at his bottom lip before he bit his lower lip trying to hold back his smile of glee. He actually giggled. Goddamn that tongue and those plump lips; Leonard really wanted to become very familiar with the feel of them, and soon. But not tonight. He and Jim--and Gaila--had some planning to do.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The crowd in the room listened avidly to the sounds of slurping and gasping. Some of them clenched their hands tight in their laps, some clenched them in front of their mouths. Probably trying to hold in their own moans thought Leonard as he watched from his position next to the monitoring post set up in the room next door. Everything the voyeuristic cadets thought was happening onscreen resided solely in their imaginations; the accompanying video displayed almost nothing but wavy lines and static. Occasionally, one limb or some other indistinct body part popped into view on the grainy screen, but nothing completely identifiable, particularly not faces.
"Oh, oh! Take me you big hunk of man meat." Breathy gasps followed by a hearty squeal had half the crowd clenching their legs together. Leonard bit his lip, stifling the belly laugh that wanted to escape. Jim had gone to town with the cliches, throwing in words like "disco stick" and "passion purse". Somewhere, he'd picked up a whoopee cushion for "pussy farts, Bones, good sex always has them." Jim had also brought a variety of objects for sound effects: a paddle for spanking sounds, a squeeze bottle filled with watered down mayonnaise (for verisimilitude, Bones, it's important to match color and viscosity), a soft hide flail ("from your own collection, Jim?"), and a cherry pie (just because.)
The performance was still far from its conclusion when Captain Pike signalled to the security detail he'd brought with him that it was time to shut it down. They exited the room with Leonard, Jim and Gaila close on their heels.
Seconds later, they burst through the door of the supposedly incognito screening room. One of the security detail barked, "Attention on deck!" There was a mad scramble by the crowd of cadets to get to their feet. Chairs flew willy-nilly across the floor with screeching sounds until silence descended on the room as one-by-one the cadets all stood at attention.
The captain looked around the room, taking in the faces of the attendees. There were obviously too many of them for him to remember all the names, but the security detail would handle the more tedious details.
"Well, well, what have we got here?" Captain Pike prowled to the front of the room to stand next to the vidscreen controls. He turned slightly to look at the video that still played on it. "Cadet Finnegan, would you care to explain this prurient gathering?"
Finnegan stood behind the controls, his chest lifted, back ramrod straight. The arrogance on his face infuriated Leonard. It was obvious the little shit thought he was going to pull one over on Captain Pike. Well, he'd find that the rope was a heck of a lot shorter than he anticipated.
"Yes, sir. Cadets Kirk, Orci and McCoy sold me a copy of a sex vid they made of themselves. I was going to report them for violating the cadet code of conduct once the facts were verified. I didn't want to get pulled into a hoax by them." Finnegan stared straight ahead, attempting to look solemn, but Leonard could see the twist to one side of his mouth that said he thought he had the upper hand. Little did he know.
"Is that so, cadet? You're saying rather than report it to your section leader, you advertised it to student body? At that it took the twenty-five or so of you here to identify it as a sex vid? I despair at the level of intelligence in this room." Captain Pike threw a withering look at the sweating cadets. Leonard could see a number of them cringing where they stood.
"Front and center, Finnegan." Captain Pike waited until Finnegan left his position at the console to stand in front of him at attention before he addressed him again.
"For your information, cadet, this vid was authorized by me." His voice was mild-mannered, but the words hit the room like a bombshell. Muffled gasps erupted out of a dozen mouths before silence fell again at a stern glance directed out at the crowd.
"I authorized it after I was shown the network diagnostics of all the audio and video devices that you planted in these cadets' rooms; feeds whose origins were traced back to your console in your quarters." He began to walk slowly around Finnegan, who was finally starting to show some hint of nerves in the way his hands twitched at his sides.
"You speak of the code of conduct, cadet Finnegan. How many times have you violated Article 134 with your actions, hmmm? We're not going to count them up right now, but rest assured, you'll be hearing the full gist read out at your Article 15 hearing." Captain Pike came to a halt in front, facing the rest of the cadets.
"As for the rest of you, your names will be turned over to your section leaders and advisors for further disposition for your complicit action in encouraging this behavior on the part of cadet Finnegan. There is no market without demand. You will all be tasked with forty-eight hours of Extra Military Instruction. Ladies and gentlemen, be prepared to give up your weekend liberty for the foreseeable future." There were a number disgruntled faces in the crowd, but Leonard could see most of them looked relieved not to be facing captain's mast along with Finnegan.
"Now, before I leave you in the competent hands of security, I thought you might like to see what your credits actually got you." Pulling a small chip from his pocket, the captain manned the vid console and plugged it in to play. Crisp, clear pictures appeared on the screen.
In them, the threesome, clothed in athletic gear that revealed enough arm and leg to imply nudity, could be seen wielding a number of objects. They all sat on the bed: Gaila had the paddle, Jim had the squirt bottle, and Leonard sat on the whoopee cushion between them. Pike stood off to one side holding a small plate, fork digging into a piece of the cherry pie as he watched the proceedings with a critical eye.
"Oooh, baby," Gaila moaned at the camera. "Give it to me gooood." The paddle came down on the leather surface of Jim's bomber coat with a hearty thwack. Leonard sat on the bed bouncing up and down, making the springs squeak and the headboard bang, muffled farting sounds issuing from the bed coverings under him. Next to him, Jim held the squirt bottle with one hand, ready to give it a squeeze at the climax of Gaila's oohs and aahhs.
Captain Pike stopped the vid. "I think you get the picture, now. The whole picture. The security detail will come around before you leave. Don't try to give them any excuses or you will be facing me along with cadet Finnegan in my office. Understood?"
A chorus of "ayes" rose up from the audience.
"Dismissed." So saying, the captain exited the room. Leonard, Gaila and Jim followed quietly behind him. No point in rubbing it in, they had proved their point quite nicely. Finnegan was going down.
oOo~~~~~oOo~~~~~oOo
The next day, Leonard walked out of Captain Pike's office light at heart. He barely ducked the high-five headed for his face as he cleared the threshold. Slapping the hand away, he gave Jim a disgruntled look. "Careful, you could poke an eye out with that thing, Jim."
"You say that like it's a bad thing, Bones." Jim wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Leonard's hand changed direction and connected with the back of Jim's head, earning him a pout. He liked that pout, it made Jim's lips look plumper and pinker than they already were, even more kissable.
"Not the same thing, brat. Save it for the bedroom." Leonard bumped shoulders with Jim, flashing him a heated look from under his lashes. He got a kick out of the way Jim's breath caught and his eyes dilated. Leonard looked forward to harnessing that arousal later. Oh, yeah, he had plans. Plans that had been a long time coming.
"Did you see the look on Finnegan's face? Especially when Captain Pike put him on academic suspension? There goes his class standing." Gaila threw her arms around Leonard's neck, pulling him down to place a smacking kiss on his cheek.
Leonard wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight hug in return. "I sure did, sweetheart. Thank you so much for helping us put that sumbitch in his place."
Gaila ran her hand up and down Leonard's chest. "Well, you know how you and Jim can repay me."
Jim threw an arm over Leonard's shoulder, joining in the hug. "Oh, we'll be quite happy to, won't we, Bones?"
"Mm-hmm. That we will. But not tonight. Jim and I missed out on his plans for Valentine's Day; we have a lot of catching up to do." Plans that Leonard loathed having to forego because of Finnegan, but knew that realistically it was the only way to subvert that asshole's plans.
Despite the gloriously lush, feminine feeling of Gaila pressed up against his chest that he absolutely wanted to revel in, Leonard pulled her hands down from around his neck. He placed a kiss on the back of first one hand then the other, giving her a look of promise for the future.
Gaila sighed. "Sugar plum, you are absolutely delightful. How on any planet did you end up with Jim Kirk?"
"Hey! I'm not something you just end up with." Jim pursed his mouth in a moue of discontent. Leonard realized he seemed to have a bit of a fetish for Jim's lips. He really wanted to kiss that look off his face.
Leonard threw an elbow into Jim's side. He skittered away, taking up position next to Gaila instead. Leonard rolled his eyes. "Quit pouting, kid. It means you ended up with me, doesn't it?"
Jim's face lit up with a huge smile. "Yeah, I did, didn't I? Best thing that ever happened to me."
"And don't you forget it." Leonard threw his arm over Jim's shoulder and steered him down the hallway. "Now, why don't you come show me what you had planned for Valentine's Day. I'll bet it was something hokey, wasn't it?"
"All bets are off, Bones; haven't you learned your lesson by now?" Jim brayed in laughter. Yeah, not one of his more attractive attributes, but Leonard was willing to take the good with the bad. It was all in the odds.
~~~~fin~~~~
Also available at AO3