Dawn, my friend, you blow me away. I miss you so much, it's hard not to call! Zavi is just beautiful. I wish you rest and peace and lots of lovely bonding moments. xoxoxo P.S. I should hire you to ghost write my birth story, LOL! It's pages and pages of stream-of-consciousness that I never condensed!
I'm sorry you couldn't get the birth experience you wanted. Bodies and kids just so often don't cooperate. Your expressions of frustration and anguish remind me so much of my feelings with the whole breastfeeding thing. Bea is refusing almost all the time now except when we go to bed, and even that has been refused the last few days, so even my "success" in that hasn't been terrific. Like you said, though, we just have to deal with what we're given.
Much love to all of you! Just look at that head of hair!
It's good perspective to be reminded that I am not the only one whose every mothering dream has not come true. At least I am now out of the place where I wanted to tell every woman who chirped perkily about all her babies coming early to piss off. lol.
It does hurt to have what I believe about birth sort of repudiated by my own body. Twice. But I know women who would give their front teeth just to have had vaginal births - women who had, like me, done everything "right". So I am trying to count my blessings.
I'm sorry Bea has not cooperated with the breastfeeding. Kids! They wreck our expectations at every turn!
I completely admire you, Dawn. You're maybe the only person I know who canmake the perfectly right choice at every turn, yet somehow believe that, through sheer determination, you should have been able to alter time and force reality to conform to your ideals. LOL. Hugs, chica--you're awesome.
Zavi (all the best names have a "z" or an "x" in them, and you've managed to somehow involve both) is gorgeous. Cry no tears--he's here, he's healthy, he's beautiful. Enjoy him!
Btw, what an awesome middle name--if I weren't determined to make up my own names for my children, both "Alexander" and "Xavier" would have made the shortlist. So is that any part of the "hippie" name that Matt had second thoughts over? Or was that the name that replaced it?
I must remember the mirror thing next time. I tell Trevor he now knows more about birth than I do, because he saw the whole thing and I didn't.
I wasn't under any illusions I could somehow force the outcome. But I had cherished the hope that the problems I had with Terran's birth were mainly brought on by the stresses of the situation at the time - Matt's stroke and the aftermath, etc. I had clung to the idea that without those added burdens my body would work correctly and I'd be able to add one of those beautiful birth stories I love to read about to the world. It hurts to give that up, and it is discouraging to feel that no matter how perfect the situation, my body just doesn't seem to correlate with my beliefs about birth
( ... )
Anyone who's ever seen "Guys and Dolls" should be able to repudiate the notion that "Sky" is a hippie name. Xavier, though...that's a MUTANT name. :-P
If reality were always ideal, there would be no use for dreams. You did the best you could with the tools you were given, and that's all any of us can do.
So you're talking like it's all behind you...no plans for any more little boys? :-)
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Much love to all of you! Just look at that head of hair!
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It does hurt to have what I believe about birth sort of repudiated by my own body. Twice. But I know women who would give their front teeth just to have had vaginal births - women who had, like me, done everything "right". So I am trying to count my blessings.
I'm sorry Bea has not cooperated with the breastfeeding. Kids! They wreck our expectations at every turn!
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Zavi (all the best names have a "z" or an "x" in them, and you've managed to somehow involve both) is gorgeous. Cry no tears--he's here, he's healthy, he's beautiful. Enjoy him!
Btw, what an awesome middle name--if I weren't determined to make up my own names for my children, both "Alexander" and "Xavier" would have made the shortlist. So is that any part of the "hippie" name that Matt had second thoughts over? Or was that the name that replaced it?
I must remember the mirror thing next time. I tell Trevor he now knows more about birth than I do, because he saw the whole thing and I didn't.
Congratulations, my friend. You did good!
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If reality were always ideal, there would be no use for dreams. You did the best you could with the tools you were given, and that's all any of us can do.
So you're talking like it's all behind you...no plans for any more little boys? :-)
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