Back To December - One Shot (Songfic)
Title: Back To December
Fandom(s): U-KISS
Pairing(s): Kemaru
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 3,030 words
Warnings: Awful!English
Author's Notes: This is a requested fic, for naokojin! Hope you like this :)
"Could we meet?"
-
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
-
Kevin adjusted the sleeves of his shirt and tugged the ends to smoothen the creases on it. Because of the size of his tiny hips, he fastened a simple belt around himself to keep his jeans from dropping.
He swiped his fringe to the side and picked out the stray strand that wouldn't stay with the rest, twirling it and tugging it, before carelessly throwing it on the floor.
He would come back and deal with it later, now that he has a more important thing to do.
Slipping into his newest shoes and locking his door, Kevin hailed a taxi down to get to his destination quickly.
After leaving the taxi with an extra tip for the driver, he saw the familiar figure already sipping on his steaming hot cup of coffee. The other must have been there for about five minutes already. To think he was ten minutes early.
Kevin then walked in and smiled at the other, who took some time to register his face.
Kibum waved a bit, smiling back and only opening his mouth to speak when Kevin got closer. "You're early."
"You're earlier." Kevin chuckled.
"I called something for you, but I don't know if you would like it." Kibum's eyes were looking to the side of Kevin's face, which made Kevin turn his head as well.
"Caramel ice blended." The waiter smiled, placing the cold drink on the table, before bowing as he backed away. "Enjoy your drink."
Kevin's heart skipped a beat. "I love it. Thank you."
There was a silent moment while Kevin took a sip of his cold coffee and Kibum finished his hot cup of mocha.
"You still only like your drink hot." Kevin casually stated, watching Kibum laugh sheepishly. "I'm glad you made time to see me."
"I was free anyway, thought I had nothing better to do. I'm glad we could meet."
"How's life been treating you? What about your family? I haven't seen your family for quite a while now." Kevin asked curiously, looking down at the water condensing on the side of the plastic cup. He wouldn't dare to look at Kibum's eyes, knowing he hurt the older man before, and that's essentially how life has been treating him.
-
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
-
"The usual." Kibum smiled, giving the vaguest answer possible. "Same old. I'm a little busy since I just got promoted. Got to learn the ropes and manage relations, since politics within work is always trouble. Parents are great, mom took up jogging, hyung decided he was crazy and tried to plant a garden."
Both laughed at Hyungjoon's ambitions, knowing the older man wouldn't have the patience to finish what he started.
"You look happy. Tired but happy." Kevin complimented, before realising what his words could have meant. "I mean, contented."
"Mm." Kibum hummed a reply, looking away for a brief moment. "The weather is good."
Kevin instantly turned to look out of the window, before nodding. "I like the white, fluffy clouds."
"I kn- I like it too." Kibum quickly corrected his words, voice betraying his calm demeanor. "Soothing, nice for any kind of activity."
"Yeah." Kevin agreed, more to continue the conversation than really agreeing. "Anyone interesting at work?"
"Working on a project with a newcomer. He's from somewhere else, can't remember where, but his accent is so thick we can't communicate." Kibum chuckled. "In the end, we bought a whiteboard and drew pictures to illustrate our points."
"Sounds fun." Kevin giggled, imagining the scene of two people at work, drawing. "Really fun."
"The sun is peeking out from behind the clouds." Kibum noted, seeing the ray of sunlight shine on the table, across his shoulder.
Kevin realised what this meant. Kibum was avoiding any talks related to him, only concentrating on the weather outside. However, he usually walked through sun or rain, unaffected and thus uncaring of it.
"Shall we take advantage of the good weather, then?" Kevin smiled, looking at Kibum's empty cup and his own half-full cup. "We could have a walk."
Kibum hesitated.
-
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
-
He remembered, the day he walked away. Kibum's figure standing rooted to the ground, a bouquet of roses on the floor, his heart sinking to the bottom in pieces.
Is that the issue which keeps him from agreeing?
Kevin thought it was, that memory replaying in Kibum's head yelling for him to reject the invitation.
"Erm..."
That was the last time he saw the older man, and to meet again on a lighter note might already be a big step forward for him.
Kevin was about to cancel the offer, if Kibum was more comfortable that way, when the older smiled.
"Yeah, sure." Kibum then raised his hand to ask for the bill. "Why not?"
Kevin decided, that was the exact reason why he had called Kibum out.
After paying for both their drinks and reassuring Kevin that he would let the younger treat him next time, they finally left the cafe together.
"I still can't believe you took three minutes to realise I was going to pay for it." Kibum laughed, more of finding something to talk about, in case they sink into silence. There wasn't coffee to drink to cover up that fact if it happened.
Kevin blushed. He had been thinking of something else. More accurately, the man standing beside him.
-
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
-
"And you begged for a lollipop so cutely." Kibum chuckled, patting Kevin's head.
Kevin made a face before laughing it off. "When was that, anyway?"
"December." Kibum said in accented English. "Cucumber."
"What?!" Kevin giggled some more at Kibum's dorkiness, suddenly falling silent at a thought. "Do you have..."
"Hm?" Kibum turned his head around to prove that he was listening.
"N-Nothing." The younger stuttered, shaking his head.
"Say it." Kibum said it so firmly, despite his friendly smile still in place on his face. "Say it."
Kevin fidgeted, knowing Kibum wouldn't just drop the case. He tried to at least phrase it less bluntly.
"I'm waiting~!" Kibum sang, and Kevin really didn't want to spoil his mood by asking the question.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
The silence that followed after was undeniable, tensed and awkward.
"I'm-I'm sorry." Kevin cut in front of Kibum to stop them both from walking. "For that Christmas night. I didn't mean to scream at you, nor did I mean those words on not finding me again, I-I really regret them."
"Kevin..." Kibum's eyes were avoiding any contact with the younger's, and also the topic.
"Kibummie-hyung..." Kevin cried, not daring but aching so badly for some warmth.
-
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
-
"I missed you..."
"Can we not talk about that?" Kibum bit his lower lip, actions clearly hesitating. He shifted forward, arm raised but angled in such a way that spelt distance, before tapping Kevin's shoulder awkwardly, "I...missed you too."
In all truth, Kevin knew Kibum was just being polite, saying those words. He acted like he didn't know though, rushing forward and clinging onto Kibum so dearly that passerbys might have thought they were about to say goodbye.
Not yet, not again.
"I haven't been well..." Kevin mumbled, speaking so meekly into the fabric covering Kibum's shoulder. "I haven't been well without you."
Kibum didn't speak. He didn't know what to say, letting Kevin cry, but not moving his arms to wrap them around the younger boy.
It was difficult, to repair what Kevin had broken.
Kevin realised and cried harder. "In December, you wouldn't treat me this way."
"Kevin..."
"I even dreamt of what we will be like if I didn't reject you! I missed you, I really did, I regret every single word that night-" Kevin choked on his tears, so bad the younger couldn't stop coughing, leaving himself unable to continue.
"I'll-I'll hear you out." Kibum bit his lower lip, finally hugging Kevin back. He stepped a little more to the side of the sidewalk. "Don't...cry..."
-
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
-
Their meeting was cut short.
Hyungjoon apparently had something really important to tell Kibum, and had to go home to check it out. No matter how Kibum tried to lure the answer out of the older man, his brother insisted for him to reach home to see it for himself.
"I'm sorry." Kibum offered his hand, before the two walked to Kibum's car in silence. "I'll drive you home."
Kevin nodded weakly.
At least, he got his heartfelt words out.
Kibum hadn't said a word about anything else, and Kevin figured it must be difficult. Difficult for the older man to forget the past, because even for himself, he couldn't deny how harsh he was.
"You must be tired, have a peaceful rest." Kibum nodded in agreement with his own words, before stepping back. "And...don't skip dinner."
Kevin didn't want Kibum to leave. He wanted to spout out all the childish requests he had in mind to hold the older back, only remembering Kibum had no obligations to.
He was a free man, because Kevin let him go.
That Christmas night, he couldn't forget. Half because he spent every night awake, thinking only about it. Half because that was the last time he saw Kibum.
Four days later, he didn't call, knowing it was the other's birthday. No, he wasn't angry anymore. At least not so much, but he didn't dare in fear of becoming awkward.
So they never talked to each other since then. Never.
-
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love
And all I gave you was goodbye
-
It was in summer that they met, five years ago. Kevin, then, had the thickest of all spectacle lenses because his eyesight was that poor. Even so, he somehow managed to get onto the wrong bus and ended up lost on a foreign (but still in Korea) land.
He collided into a man in a seeming rush, falling onto the floor from the impact though unscathed. He started wailing, wondering how bad his day could get, when the man suddenly offered him a lollipop.
Who cares about not accepting food from strangers? The man looked decent enough, and Kevin was helped up in a second.
"I'm Kibum. What about you, crying kid?" The tease was soothing to his ears, and so was the grin to his eyes.
Kevin timidly said his name, and when prompted, he spoke also of his bad day. Kibum then offered to get the younger to where he needed to go for the school trip he had, much to the surprise of Kevin.
"You must be in a rush!" Kevin shook his head furiously, apologetic that he made Kibum feel responsible for his tears.
No, he explained, he was brisk-walking to further enjoy the breeze. With a verbal tug-of-war and Kibum as the winner, Kevin finally relented and got into Kibum's car.
Too trusting, he thought, but he didn't mind, as the two took turns to share some really lame jokes, Kibum laughed heartily at a joke Kevin came up with, almost forgetting to step on the brakes when the red light came on.
Kevin smiled, thinking nothing of a certain spark that ignited in him.
Those summer times they played on the beach, at the bowling alley, in the swimming pool and lounging in cafes to cafes, nothing.
Maybe because they were submerged in happiness, so much that Kevin couldn't tell. If there had to be an unconscious change of heart for the better, Kevin was sure it was in the season of falling leaves - autumn.
Specifically, that special night when he didn't remember having a tough time to go to sleep. Because it was warm in the cold, comfortable in the tight embrace.
-
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
-
The heavy downpour wouldn't stop, and Kevin's family was out on a vacation. He had to stay behind to complete his last term in school, much to his disappointment.
Under the umbrella, exposed to the cold, he leaned in against Kibum. His soft whimpers were drowned by the older's words of comfort, and when Kevin freaked out from the dark state of the path from his gate to his door, Kibum was there.
As if coaxing a little child to bed, he snaked his arm around Kevin's waist, pulling him closer as they advanced in the night.
When Kevin fumbled with his many coins in his pocket in search for his keys, he almost launched himself into a full-fledged panic attack, being unable to find them. Kibum shushed the younger and held him carefully in his arms, rocking him from side to side while whispering words that didn't link.
"Sunshine. Angels. Smile. Roses. Apple. Cakes."
Kevin meekly looked back at Kibum, who only smiled back, somehow easing his trembling heart. With a calmer mind, Kevin took out all his coins and found his keys within.
They managed to lock themselves in, away from the rain that made Kibum's back drenched. A loud thunder resounded, frightening the younger boy into clinging tightly onto Kibum, and worry stopped the older man from leaving.
"I'll stay with you through the night."
It was then that Kibum found out of Kevin's fear for darkness, lightning and thunder. Because despite Kevin's fragile looks, he never cried without a real reason to. Those, those were the things that formed tears on Kevin's face.
Kibum promised to never leave Kevin in such a weather again.
Kevin thought of them as Kibum's consolation.
-
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
-
In this letter, Kevin poured out his heart.
If I could turn back time, I'd kiss you and tell you I love you too.
Because he had to lose someone close to heart before realising what he had.
Please give me a chance again, I was foolish, and we both know that.
If he ended up sounding desperate, then that's exactly what he was feeling.
Only being able to pray for the best, he left for his destination.
Hyungjoon gasped when he saw the younger walked in, passing the unlocked gate. "Hello..."
"Hey." Kevin greeted awkwardly.
"I can get Kibum to come out." Hyungjoon offered, holding the empty watering can. Kevin noticed the pretty flowers growing out, young but healthy.
"Your flowers are pretty." Kevin commented with a small smile, before shaking his head. "It's okay, I'll-I'll just wait here for a bit."
Hyungjoon blinked, stepping backwards with words unable to leave his mouth. "I'll get him out."
Kevin bit his lip. The last thing he would want was to force Kibum into having to meet him. Kibum, however, appeared a moment later with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
"I was bathing!" Kibum exclaimed, pushed to the door. "Hyung! Neighbours would call the police! It's illegal to be out naked!"
"Talk to Kevin first!" Kibum and Kevin both widened their eyes, as Kibum turned around to see Kevin behind him indeed.
"Uh, hey." Kibum coughed. "I'm sorry, I should have grabbed some clothes with me. Probably look like a weirdo now."
"It's...it's okay."
-
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
-
"The flowers grew out." Kevin smiled weakly, trying to use that as a conversation starter.
"Indeed." Kibum nodded, still awkward with half his body bare. "We underestimated him."
Kevin's hand trembled as he took out his note, unfolding it and reading it out for Kibum. He knew it was stupid, but with the distance between them, if Kibum wanted to turn and return home, he could.
Kibum frowned, watching as Kevin choked on his words, eyes welled up with tears.
"But if it's too much of a request to ask you to love me again, then I hope we could at least still be friends." The last word came out barely as a whisper, as Kevin fell on his knees and wiped his tears away, afraid of seeing Kibum turn to the door.
There was a shuffling of feet, and Kevin heard footsteps moving away from him. He shut his eyes tightly, and all he could hear was his own heartbeat, booming in his ears.
After a moment, Kevin decided he was rejected. Standing up with eyes closed, he turned to leave.
"Kevin." Kibum smiled as Kevin peeked open his eyes, presenting to him a handful of colourful flowers. "I love you. In a way I'm not supposed to, but I do."
Kevin widened his eyes, that day's memories swarming back at him. Instead of screaming how weird Kibum is, how he wouldn't want to have anything to do with him from then on, how he didn't feel the same, he cried. "I love you too."
Kibum hugged Kevin's smaller frame and laughed. "I'm going to be killed for ruining hyung's garden, though."
-
Fandom(s): U-KISS
Pairing(s): Kemaru
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 3,030 words
Warnings: Awful!English
Author's Notes: This is a requested fic, for naokojin! Hope you like this :)
"Could we meet?"
-
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
-
Kevin adjusted the sleeves of his shirt and tugged the ends to smoothen the creases on it. Because of the size of his tiny hips, he fastened a simple belt around himself to keep his jeans from dropping.
He swiped his fringe to the side and picked out the stray strand that wouldn't stay with the rest, twirling it and tugging it, before carelessly throwing it on the floor.
He would come back and deal with it later, now that he has a more important thing to do.
Slipping into his newest shoes and locking his door, Kevin hailed a taxi down to get to his destination quickly.
After leaving the taxi with an extra tip for the driver, he saw the familiar figure already sipping on his steaming hot cup of coffee. The other must have been there for about five minutes already. To think he was ten minutes early.
Kevin then walked in and smiled at the other, who took some time to register his face.
Kibum waved a bit, smiling back and only opening his mouth to speak when Kevin got closer. "You're early."
"You're earlier." Kevin chuckled.
"I called something for you, but I don't know if you would like it." Kibum's eyes were looking to the side of Kevin's face, which made Kevin turn his head as well.
"Caramel ice blended." The waiter smiled, placing the cold drink on the table, before bowing as he backed away. "Enjoy your drink."
Kevin's heart skipped a beat. "I love it. Thank you."
There was a silent moment while Kevin took a sip of his cold coffee and Kibum finished his hot cup of mocha.
"You still only like your drink hot." Kevin casually stated, watching Kibum laugh sheepishly. "I'm glad you made time to see me."
"I was free anyway, thought I had nothing better to do. I'm glad we could meet."
"How's life been treating you? What about your family? I haven't seen your family for quite a while now." Kevin asked curiously, looking down at the water condensing on the side of the plastic cup. He wouldn't dare to look at Kibum's eyes, knowing he hurt the older man before, and that's essentially how life has been treating him.
-
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
-
"The usual." Kibum smiled, giving the vaguest answer possible. "Same old. I'm a little busy since I just got promoted. Got to learn the ropes and manage relations, since politics within work is always trouble. Parents are great, mom took up jogging, hyung decided he was crazy and tried to plant a garden."
Both laughed at Hyungjoon's ambitions, knowing the older man wouldn't have the patience to finish what he started.
"You look happy. Tired but happy." Kevin complimented, before realising what his words could have meant. "I mean, contented."
"Mm." Kibum hummed a reply, looking away for a brief moment. "The weather is good."
Kevin instantly turned to look out of the window, before nodding. "I like the white, fluffy clouds."
"I kn- I like it too." Kibum quickly corrected his words, voice betraying his calm demeanor. "Soothing, nice for any kind of activity."
"Yeah." Kevin agreed, more to continue the conversation than really agreeing. "Anyone interesting at work?"
"Working on a project with a newcomer. He's from somewhere else, can't remember where, but his accent is so thick we can't communicate." Kibum chuckled. "In the end, we bought a whiteboard and drew pictures to illustrate our points."
"Sounds fun." Kevin giggled, imagining the scene of two people at work, drawing. "Really fun."
"The sun is peeking out from behind the clouds." Kibum noted, seeing the ray of sunlight shine on the table, across his shoulder.
Kevin realised what this meant. Kibum was avoiding any talks related to him, only concentrating on the weather outside. However, he usually walked through sun or rain, unaffected and thus uncaring of it.
"Shall we take advantage of the good weather, then?" Kevin smiled, looking at Kibum's empty cup and his own half-full cup. "We could have a walk."
Kibum hesitated.
-
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
-
He remembered, the day he walked away. Kibum's figure standing rooted to the ground, a bouquet of roses on the floor, his heart sinking to the bottom in pieces.
Is that the issue which keeps him from agreeing?
Kevin thought it was, that memory replaying in Kibum's head yelling for him to reject the invitation.
"Erm..."
That was the last time he saw the older man, and to meet again on a lighter note might already be a big step forward for him.
Kevin was about to cancel the offer, if Kibum was more comfortable that way, when the older smiled.
"Yeah, sure." Kibum then raised his hand to ask for the bill. "Why not?"
Kevin decided, that was the exact reason why he had called Kibum out.
After paying for both their drinks and reassuring Kevin that he would let the younger treat him next time, they finally left the cafe together.
"I still can't believe you took three minutes to realise I was going to pay for it." Kibum laughed, more of finding something to talk about, in case they sink into silence. There wasn't coffee to drink to cover up that fact if it happened.
Kevin blushed. He had been thinking of something else. More accurately, the man standing beside him.
-
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
-
"And you begged for a lollipop so cutely." Kibum chuckled, patting Kevin's head.
Kevin made a face before laughing it off. "When was that, anyway?"
"December." Kibum said in accented English. "Cucumber."
"What?!" Kevin giggled some more at Kibum's dorkiness, suddenly falling silent at a thought. "Do you have..."
"Hm?" Kibum turned his head around to prove that he was listening.
"N-Nothing." The younger stuttered, shaking his head.
"Say it." Kibum said it so firmly, despite his friendly smile still in place on his face. "Say it."
Kevin fidgeted, knowing Kibum wouldn't just drop the case. He tried to at least phrase it less bluntly.
"I'm waiting~!" Kibum sang, and Kevin really didn't want to spoil his mood by asking the question.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
The silence that followed after was undeniable, tensed and awkward.
"I'm-I'm sorry." Kevin cut in front of Kibum to stop them both from walking. "For that Christmas night. I didn't mean to scream at you, nor did I mean those words on not finding me again, I-I really regret them."
"Kevin..." Kibum's eyes were avoiding any contact with the younger's, and also the topic.
"Kibummie-hyung..." Kevin cried, not daring but aching so badly for some warmth.
-
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
-
"I missed you..."
"Can we not talk about that?" Kibum bit his lower lip, actions clearly hesitating. He shifted forward, arm raised but angled in such a way that spelt distance, before tapping Kevin's shoulder awkwardly, "I...missed you too."
In all truth, Kevin knew Kibum was just being polite, saying those words. He acted like he didn't know though, rushing forward and clinging onto Kibum so dearly that passerbys might have thought they were about to say goodbye.
Not yet, not again.
"I haven't been well..." Kevin mumbled, speaking so meekly into the fabric covering Kibum's shoulder. "I haven't been well without you."
Kibum didn't speak. He didn't know what to say, letting Kevin cry, but not moving his arms to wrap them around the younger boy.
It was difficult, to repair what Kevin had broken.
Kevin realised and cried harder. "In December, you wouldn't treat me this way."
"Kevin..."
"I even dreamt of what we will be like if I didn't reject you! I missed you, I really did, I regret every single word that night-" Kevin choked on his tears, so bad the younger couldn't stop coughing, leaving himself unable to continue.
"I'll-I'll hear you out." Kibum bit his lower lip, finally hugging Kevin back. He stepped a little more to the side of the sidewalk. "Don't...cry..."
-
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
-
Their meeting was cut short.
Hyungjoon apparently had something really important to tell Kibum, and had to go home to check it out. No matter how Kibum tried to lure the answer out of the older man, his brother insisted for him to reach home to see it for himself.
"I'm sorry." Kibum offered his hand, before the two walked to Kibum's car in silence. "I'll drive you home."
Kevin nodded weakly.
At least, he got his heartfelt words out.
Kibum hadn't said a word about anything else, and Kevin figured it must be difficult. Difficult for the older man to forget the past, because even for himself, he couldn't deny how harsh he was.
"You must be tired, have a peaceful rest." Kibum nodded in agreement with his own words, before stepping back. "And...don't skip dinner."
Kevin didn't want Kibum to leave. He wanted to spout out all the childish requests he had in mind to hold the older back, only remembering Kibum had no obligations to.
He was a free man, because Kevin let him go.
That Christmas night, he couldn't forget. Half because he spent every night awake, thinking only about it. Half because that was the last time he saw Kibum.
Four days later, he didn't call, knowing it was the other's birthday. No, he wasn't angry anymore. At least not so much, but he didn't dare in fear of becoming awkward.
So they never talked to each other since then. Never.
-
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love
And all I gave you was goodbye
-
It was in summer that they met, five years ago. Kevin, then, had the thickest of all spectacle lenses because his eyesight was that poor. Even so, he somehow managed to get onto the wrong bus and ended up lost on a foreign (but still in Korea) land.
He collided into a man in a seeming rush, falling onto the floor from the impact though unscathed. He started wailing, wondering how bad his day could get, when the man suddenly offered him a lollipop.
Who cares about not accepting food from strangers? The man looked decent enough, and Kevin was helped up in a second.
"I'm Kibum. What about you, crying kid?" The tease was soothing to his ears, and so was the grin to his eyes.
Kevin timidly said his name, and when prompted, he spoke also of his bad day. Kibum then offered to get the younger to where he needed to go for the school trip he had, much to the surprise of Kevin.
"You must be in a rush!" Kevin shook his head furiously, apologetic that he made Kibum feel responsible for his tears.
No, he explained, he was brisk-walking to further enjoy the breeze. With a verbal tug-of-war and Kibum as the winner, Kevin finally relented and got into Kibum's car.
Too trusting, he thought, but he didn't mind, as the two took turns to share some really lame jokes, Kibum laughed heartily at a joke Kevin came up with, almost forgetting to step on the brakes when the red light came on.
Kevin smiled, thinking nothing of a certain spark that ignited in him.
Those summer times they played on the beach, at the bowling alley, in the swimming pool and lounging in cafes to cafes, nothing.
Maybe because they were submerged in happiness, so much that Kevin couldn't tell. If there had to be an unconscious change of heart for the better, Kevin was sure it was in the season of falling leaves - autumn.
Specifically, that special night when he didn't remember having a tough time to go to sleep. Because it was warm in the cold, comfortable in the tight embrace.
-
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
-
The heavy downpour wouldn't stop, and Kevin's family was out on a vacation. He had to stay behind to complete his last term in school, much to his disappointment.
Under the umbrella, exposed to the cold, he leaned in against Kibum. His soft whimpers were drowned by the older's words of comfort, and when Kevin freaked out from the dark state of the path from his gate to his door, Kibum was there.
As if coaxing a little child to bed, he snaked his arm around Kevin's waist, pulling him closer as they advanced in the night.
When Kevin fumbled with his many coins in his pocket in search for his keys, he almost launched himself into a full-fledged panic attack, being unable to find them. Kibum shushed the younger and held him carefully in his arms, rocking him from side to side while whispering words that didn't link.
"Sunshine. Angels. Smile. Roses. Apple. Cakes."
Kevin meekly looked back at Kibum, who only smiled back, somehow easing his trembling heart. With a calmer mind, Kevin took out all his coins and found his keys within.
They managed to lock themselves in, away from the rain that made Kibum's back drenched. A loud thunder resounded, frightening the younger boy into clinging tightly onto Kibum, and worry stopped the older man from leaving.
"I'll stay with you through the night."
It was then that Kibum found out of Kevin's fear for darkness, lightning and thunder. Because despite Kevin's fragile looks, he never cried without a real reason to. Those, those were the things that formed tears on Kevin's face.
Kibum promised to never leave Kevin in such a weather again.
Kevin thought of them as Kibum's consolation.
-
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
-
In this letter, Kevin poured out his heart.
If I could turn back time, I'd kiss you and tell you I love you too.
Because he had to lose someone close to heart before realising what he had.
Please give me a chance again, I was foolish, and we both know that.
If he ended up sounding desperate, then that's exactly what he was feeling.
Only being able to pray for the best, he left for his destination.
Hyungjoon gasped when he saw the younger walked in, passing the unlocked gate. "Hello..."
"Hey." Kevin greeted awkwardly.
"I can get Kibum to come out." Hyungjoon offered, holding the empty watering can. Kevin noticed the pretty flowers growing out, young but healthy.
"Your flowers are pretty." Kevin commented with a small smile, before shaking his head. "It's okay, I'll-I'll just wait here for a bit."
Hyungjoon blinked, stepping backwards with words unable to leave his mouth. "I'll get him out."
Kevin bit his lip. The last thing he would want was to force Kibum into having to meet him. Kibum, however, appeared a moment later with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
"I was bathing!" Kibum exclaimed, pushed to the door. "Hyung! Neighbours would call the police! It's illegal to be out naked!"
"Talk to Kevin first!" Kibum and Kevin both widened their eyes, as Kibum turned around to see Kevin behind him indeed.
"Uh, hey." Kibum coughed. "I'm sorry, I should have grabbed some clothes with me. Probably look like a weirdo now."
"It's...it's okay."
-
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
-
"The flowers grew out." Kevin smiled weakly, trying to use that as a conversation starter.
"Indeed." Kibum nodded, still awkward with half his body bare. "We underestimated him."
Kevin's hand trembled as he took out his note, unfolding it and reading it out for Kibum. He knew it was stupid, but with the distance between them, if Kibum wanted to turn and return home, he could.
Kibum frowned, watching as Kevin choked on his words, eyes welled up with tears.
"But if it's too much of a request to ask you to love me again, then I hope we could at least still be friends." The last word came out barely as a whisper, as Kevin fell on his knees and wiped his tears away, afraid of seeing Kibum turn to the door.
There was a shuffling of feet, and Kevin heard footsteps moving away from him. He shut his eyes tightly, and all he could hear was his own heartbeat, booming in his ears.
After a moment, Kevin decided he was rejected. Standing up with eyes closed, he turned to leave.
"Kevin." Kibum smiled as Kevin peeked open his eyes, presenting to him a handful of colourful flowers. "I love you. In a way I'm not supposed to, but I do."
Kevin widened his eyes, that day's memories swarming back at him. Instead of screaming how weird Kibum is, how he wouldn't want to have anything to do with him from then on, how he didn't feel the same, he cried. "I love you too."
Kibum hugged Kevin's smaller frame and laughed. "I'm going to be killed for ruining hyung's garden, though."
-