the usual.....workin, schoolin.....etc. my feet are so swollen. they don't even have feeling in them anymore. last night was looooooooong. and then awesome. although amazingly awkward. lotta shit going on. confused and whatever. feeling lonely some days, feeling like i wish people would leave me alone on others...ran in to jess 2 days ago and ( Read more... )

"it would suck to have your birthday and think no one gives a shit." thanks mom. i appreciate it ( Read more... )

oh, i totally forgot...jason eck was here and he doesn't realize it but he like totally saved my life the past two days. it really kinda kept me controlled, having him around and i seriously love that kid. he's like a big gentle giant. who sings a lot. and has the loudest laugh i've ever heard. also, phil will be here friday!!!!!! i am so friggin ( Read more... )

wow. i had such a great night last night. it was totally awesome. it really made me feel like i was getting to know some people. and i feel a lot of support and respect as well from my boss ( Read more... )

i fucking held out...

i feel so good about myself. and i paced myself! i walked away. and it was all good. boo yah!

the stills' animals and insects is i think one of my favorite songs. it's like quietly murderous. meh. whatever. to sum it up. this is how i feel lately. calm on the outside crazy on the inside. some dave lyrics to give you an idea.....actually it's not so much the lyrics as it is the way he fucking rips his voice through the words. although i ( Read more... )

what's the big difference between 34 and 20? not much. in fact nothing. except that it could be worse (?).

had a good time. but never take anything for granted. good advice jess. seriously. get real. you had to know this was coming.

i can hear a cello playing next door. it reminds me of living next to amalia :-(

i leave in one hour. i wish she were here so i could freak out and we could talk.

i feel so relieved right now. like a great big, fucking weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i think i can operate more easily now and not be so exhausted. school school school. that's all i really care about right now. which is too bad. eh, i guess not. but still. it's hard to change. well, that's not right either. it hasn't been hard. i haven ( Read more... )

i have the day off. it's a nice feeling finally. i think one of my coworkers is pissed about the schedule and a little disgruntled that i keep getting her shifts. but it's all good, cause honestly i worked thursday, friday (when i wasn't scheduled for it), saturday (yesterday, all fucking day), and i was supposed to have a double today.....but at ( Read more... )