Comments | runninglonely: Dichotomy X

runninglonely

Dichotomy X

Apr 26, 2009 21:17

Title : Dichotomy X
Warnings : child abuse
Pairings : n/a
Time period : 1951/2
summary : Prostitutes and child pornography; unlike peanut butter and chocolate, not two great tastes that taste great together.

Walter came home from school, and was greeted at the door by a woman not his mother.
"Hey Baby, c'mere and let me look a'chu." Walter ( Read more... )

rorschach, watchmen, dichotomy

Comments 24

mostepotente April 27 2009, 04:44:45 UTC

Alan Moore could take lessons from you on creepy terrible things parents shouldn't say to children. Wow, this hurts, and it is good.

Thank-you! runninglonely April 27 2009, 04:57:17 UTC

Thanks Moste Potente. I'm blushing over here.
I'm not sure what to say about you finding me creepier than Mr. Moore. It's an odd feeling.

Re: Thank-you! mostepotente April 27 2009, 05:02:39 UTC

Basically, I laugh everytime I come across that "I SHOULDA HAD THE ABORTION!!!" line in the comic and the movie... because it's so melodramatic and not very deep. It's a terrible thing to say, yes, but it's sort of abstract for a child.

On the other hand "you fart from my cunt" is much more impactful to me.

huh runninglonely April 27 2009, 05:07:06 UTC

Yeah, it is a bit melodramatic. Eh, I waffled a bit on that, but in the end I thought it over, and a lot of people consider the 'c' word twice as bad as the f-bomb. IMO, there's few things more shocking than hearing a parent say it, especially in regards to you, so in it stayed.

Thread 7

iztactli April 27 2009, 05:16:23 UTC

Wow, pretty well writen and yeah, you made me feel bad D= it's hard and direct... guess like life =/

I'm waiting the next one :)

Thank-you! runninglonely April 27 2009, 05:32:54 UTC

Thank-you very much Iztactli. Your comment gives me warm fuzzies. <333

pirateliera April 27 2009, 05:17:42 UTC

Wow...this is really good...and I felt so horrible for lil' Walter and I want to take him away and take care of him. Keep writing please, all of the Dichotomy stories have been genius.

Thank-you! runninglonely April 27 2009, 05:34:08 UTC

Thank-you pirateliera! *grin* I'm happy you think so.
I'm just trying to see all parts of the puzzle. If Rorschach's head was my plaything for all eternity I'm not sure I'd get tired of it.

anonymiss731 April 27 2009, 05:24:10 UTC

Whoh...Dark! This is demented in a "I can totally see this fitting into the canon of why he's fucked in the head" sort of way. Poor little Walter, not ruthless enough yet to stick that cigarette in her face. That's the kinda person that you feel ok with them getting maimed to death. Anyway, this was so graphic it was terrifying. It makes you cringe to realize stuff like this actually happens. I felt queasy and then Walter barfs and that last sentence combined give this crushing weight of finality. I think the dialog is the most disturbing part. Some dialog you sit there and break it apart because it doesn't sound like someone would say that. I mean like it sounds to grammatically sound or stilted for a natural flow of words. This lacked that problem completely which made you permeate the story more then the average read. It packs a big punch. Excellent and frightening work.

Thank-you! runninglonely April 27 2009, 05:42:31 UTC

Thank-you very much, anonymiss731! My favourite cousin was abused by an uncle to us both, so it's not hard to put myself in the mindset. About the dialogue, I have such odd speech patterns myself that I always feel slightly insecure trying to mimic different dialects and education levels. I'm happy to hear this worked for you.

I guess in context of other stuff I've written it DOES have more impact from being graphic. Rorschach would deliberately skirt around anything at all sexual, but he's never been anything other than black and white, blunt, when it comes to talking about abuse and crime. I'm happy to have received such an indepth and thoughtful review. Again, thank-you for the high praise.

raffi April 27 2009, 09:58:40 UTC

I think something broke in my brain. I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

But your fic is so good and it felt so awfully real, that it made me shiver with oh-so-freakin'-creepy goosebumps.

Please continue! I can't wait to see more from you! :)

Thank-you! runninglonely April 27 2009, 13:22:00 UTC

*M Bison turn* Of course! Raffi m'dear! Thank-you for the praise. :D
It makes me happy to get such strong reactions.
The next part I'm working on is supposed to be a snark-a-thon between Rorschach and silk spectre II, a compare and contrast thing I guess. We'll see. Oddly, I seem to be writing it from Laurie's pov.