strawberry and butter pecan with sprinkles and a cherry
Story: Timeless { backstory | index }
Title: Boots
Rating: PG (language)
Challenge: Strawberry #23: boots, Butter Pecan #23: heavy
Toppings/Extras: cherry, sprinkles
Wordcount: 670
Summary: Robyn Walshe can dispense truly precise advice about one thing only.
Notes: Robyn is channelling many memories for me in this piece. :)
They’re one of the first pieces of equipment you get, if you can call it equipment. They’re more like uniform, really. You’ve got to make sure you get a good fit or you’re fucked. To small is better than too big-no matter how many pairs of socks you wear, your toes will never quite make it to the end. Small ones you can bash into shape with the end of a broom. True fact.
Far as equipment goes, aside from weaponry they’re the heaviest thing you’ll have. The amount of space they take up in your bag or suitcase is unbelievable. That’s why I wear them even on the journeys we take in civvies. So much simpler.
Anyway, I’m not here to tell you about that. The really important thing you’ve got to know about boots is how to polish them-though please, wash them with water before you polish them. Polishing over the mud and shit? Yeah, that’s not going to work so well. Get the damn things clean. They deserve love and respect.
Now, onto the polishing.
Don’t use parade gloss. Don’t ask me why, but all these newbies show up all the time with sodding parade gloss. Are they mad? It’s Kiwi Boot Polish, black. You’ve got to go Kiwi.
So, use the cloth first. Doesn’t matter where the cloth comes from: I’ve used dishcloths, old socks, whatever. Get some polish on it and just rub it over the leather-it goes all cloudy. Or it should if you’re doing it right. Don’t just whack it on, rub it on in small circles, make sure you cover everything. I’m not even going to start on getting into the welts with a toothbrush: that can come later. Scrub it all in, get the whole boot covered.
Now. I tend to do this in two parts. First, I leave them to stand (ha… what a terrible pun) for a bit, let the polish do its work. You need some water. Generally I use the lid of the boot polish tin because they’re handy and you really don’t need much. Dip the cloth-or a new cloth if you’re really anal about these things-into the water and rub the polish off. Same circular motions. If you’ve got no water, spit is fine. Don’t be a baby: Air Force twerps use it on their parade shoes! For boots it’ll serve twice as well. Use cold water; warm water makes them too shiny. Yep, I said too shiny. It’s against regulations for your boots to be so shiny they could give your position away by reflecting light or something. Don’t ask! I’m sure it’s happened somewhere.
You’ve got to rub all of the polish off so you can see that nice dull shine underneath. Ah, wonderful. The creases look less, the leather is fed and protected and waterproofed. If you’re an idiot and bought non-waterproofing polish, get some dubbins. Now. Slap it on.
For those of us that aren’t total dicks, you can go straight onto brushing. A good old scrub is all you need. Trust me, it does wonders. Some lazy types skip this stage or don’t devote enough time to it, but what can I say, I love my boots. When I go to brush them, they get brushed. Don’t tell me you don’t know how. Hold the wooden block in one hand, thinways. Brush backwards and forwards quickly, not side-to-side. Put your hand in your boot, hold it up, follow its shape with the bristles.
See, it’s really not that hard. A basic job of it could be done in ten or fifteen minutes. And it’ll pay off, really it will.
I’m not much of an advice-giver. I make mistakes a lot, and bad decisions, all that stuff. I have screwed up in ways unimaginable to the ordinary person and have made an arsing great tit of myself more than once. But there’s one thing I know for certain is good advice.
Look after your goddamn boots.
Title: Boots
Rating: PG (language)
Challenge: Strawberry #23: boots, Butter Pecan #23: heavy
Toppings/Extras: cherry, sprinkles
Wordcount: 670
Summary: Robyn Walshe can dispense truly precise advice about one thing only.
Notes: Robyn is channelling many memories for me in this piece. :)
They’re one of the first pieces of equipment you get, if you can call it equipment. They’re more like uniform, really. You’ve got to make sure you get a good fit or you’re fucked. To small is better than too big-no matter how many pairs of socks you wear, your toes will never quite make it to the end. Small ones you can bash into shape with the end of a broom. True fact.
Far as equipment goes, aside from weaponry they’re the heaviest thing you’ll have. The amount of space they take up in your bag or suitcase is unbelievable. That’s why I wear them even on the journeys we take in civvies. So much simpler.
Anyway, I’m not here to tell you about that. The really important thing you’ve got to know about boots is how to polish them-though please, wash them with water before you polish them. Polishing over the mud and shit? Yeah, that’s not going to work so well. Get the damn things clean. They deserve love and respect.
Now, onto the polishing.
Don’t use parade gloss. Don’t ask me why, but all these newbies show up all the time with sodding parade gloss. Are they mad? It’s Kiwi Boot Polish, black. You’ve got to go Kiwi.
So, use the cloth first. Doesn’t matter where the cloth comes from: I’ve used dishcloths, old socks, whatever. Get some polish on it and just rub it over the leather-it goes all cloudy. Or it should if you’re doing it right. Don’t just whack it on, rub it on in small circles, make sure you cover everything. I’m not even going to start on getting into the welts with a toothbrush: that can come later. Scrub it all in, get the whole boot covered.
Now. I tend to do this in two parts. First, I leave them to stand (ha… what a terrible pun) for a bit, let the polish do its work. You need some water. Generally I use the lid of the boot polish tin because they’re handy and you really don’t need much. Dip the cloth-or a new cloth if you’re really anal about these things-into the water and rub the polish off. Same circular motions. If you’ve got no water, spit is fine. Don’t be a baby: Air Force twerps use it on their parade shoes! For boots it’ll serve twice as well. Use cold water; warm water makes them too shiny. Yep, I said too shiny. It’s against regulations for your boots to be so shiny they could give your position away by reflecting light or something. Don’t ask! I’m sure it’s happened somewhere.
You’ve got to rub all of the polish off so you can see that nice dull shine underneath. Ah, wonderful. The creases look less, the leather is fed and protected and waterproofed. If you’re an idiot and bought non-waterproofing polish, get some dubbins. Now. Slap it on.
For those of us that aren’t total dicks, you can go straight onto brushing. A good old scrub is all you need. Trust me, it does wonders. Some lazy types skip this stage or don’t devote enough time to it, but what can I say, I love my boots. When I go to brush them, they get brushed. Don’t tell me you don’t know how. Hold the wooden block in one hand, thinways. Brush backwards and forwards quickly, not side-to-side. Put your hand in your boot, hold it up, follow its shape with the bristles.
See, it’s really not that hard. A basic job of it could be done in ten or fifteen minutes. And it’ll pay off, really it will.
I’m not much of an advice-giver. I make mistakes a lot, and bad decisions, all that stuff. I have screwed up in ways unimaginable to the ordinary person and have made an arsing great tit of myself more than once. But there’s one thing I know for certain is good advice.
Look after your goddamn boots.