(no subject)
Crime Investigation Made Difficult
= An Odd Number of Stars
+ Maple Walnut #2 [All Bark, No Bite]
+ Root Beer Float
+ Rainbow Sprinkles
+ Cherry [Noir Style]
Good. The stakes are as high as I could make them; hit me please.
Introducing Kerri in noir style. Can you tell I'm reading Raymond Chandler?
Character: Kerri (Caroline Walsh) Timeframe: May 2010 Word Count: 1,640
SETTING: IN A DIMLY LIT INTERROGATION CELL.
TWO WOMEN, ONE WELL DRESSED AND OBVIOUSLY THE POLICEWOMAN AND THE OTHER COVERED IN TATTOOS AND HANDCUFFED SITS AT THE TABLE, SMOKING.
POLICEWOMAN
You know why you’re here, don’t you?
SUSPECT
(grinning) I can’t remember.
POLICEWOMAN
(Incredulous and annoyed) What do you mean, you can’t remember? Don’t you have an inkling as to why you’re here? Couldn’t you infer from your surroundings what’s going on?
SUSPECT
(raises an eyebrow)
Did you know I once won a poker game in three rounds, clearing five out of the seven players out?
POLICEWOMAN
(annoyed)
That has nothing to do with my question.
SUSPECT
(inhales cigarette)
Really?
(exhales slowly)
I can read people like a book. I knew the cards of everyone of those players with the way they smiled; the way they tapped their foot and the way they bet.
POLICEWOMAN
This isn’t a poker game.
SUSPECT
Life’s a poker game. Stakes are as high as you make them, honey.
POLICEWOMAN
(stiff) Police Detective Walsh, to you.
SUSPECT
Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hands if I wasn’t wearing this lovely décor (shows handcuffs). I’m sure you already know my name anyway.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
You killed two people and were a federal suspect. I highly doubt anyone in this building doesn’t know who you are.
SUSPECT
(snorts) You’d be surprised, honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(organises paper professionally) Let’s stop messing around, shall we, Miss Lambert?
SUSPECT
Lambert? Please, call me Hallie. I don’t answer to any other name.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(ignoring) Miss Lambert, you are aware this interview is tapped. It can and will be used against you in your trial.
HALLIE
(ironically) Great.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Do you have any questions before I start the tape?
HALLIE
Nope. (Inhales on cigarette again, blowing out the smoke in small rings as POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH fiddles with the tape recorder.)
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Okay. State your name.
HALLIE
Hallie.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(annoyed) Your full name.
HALLIE
(sighing) Harley Cassie Lambert.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Why are you here?
HALLIE
(grinning) I’ll start with the biological and metaphysical beginning to my existence, shall I? I’m here because twenty three years ago a man and a woman decided to have sex; I was conceived and born as a result. Though if you’re looking for a more existential answer, according to different schools of philosophy I am here because either God created me, or he has a plan for me, or the universe is a random combination of events that lead to my existence. Some Buddhists even believe -
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(interjecting, severely annoyed) I want to know why you’re in this fucking police interrogation, Miss Lambert, not why you exist.
HALLIE
(grins) Oh. (inhales and exhales smoke, finishing the cigarette). I have no idea where to start, Honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
How about you start with your first crime?
HALLIE
When I was six I stole a Snickers bar from a shop.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(snaps) That’s not what I meant. Start with your double homicide
HALLIE
Can I call it a vengeance killing rather than murder?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Call it whatever you want. The state is still charging you with multiple homicide which, in several areas of the United States of America, is punishable with capital punishment.
HALLIE
(casually, under her breath) I knew I should have murdered in Belgium.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
You are aware if you cooperate with the police the judge and jury may be inclined to give you a lighter sentence?
HALLIE
(innocently) Was I not cooperating?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Answer the question Miss Lambert.
HALLIE
(Laughs). I need a cigarette.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
No you don’t.
HALLIE
(smugly) I won’t say a word then.
(the two women glare at each other over the table, a tense silence only giving way when POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH relents)
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(hands her a cigarette and lights it for her. Hallie inhales and exhales slowly being scrutinized by POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH.) The homicide?
HALLIE
Right. So, this fucking bastard and his roommate mugged sixteen women in total. I got sick of it. I killed them. They got what they deserved. I don’t see any issue.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
None of the muggings could be directly associated to the two victims. How were you sure that they were the criminals?
HALLIE
Just because the police don’t know anything don’t mean the streets don’t know anything. Walls can talk, honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Who were your sources of information for the suspected muggings the victims did?
HALLIE
Can’t even remember.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Any information regarding the muggings would be useful to the police.
HALLIE
Didn’t you just listen to what I said, honey? The two muggers are fucking dead. They’re not gonna hurt anyone anytime soon. Hence, the police doesn’t need any information.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(in conceit) In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Lambert, the United States Police Force uses a lot more than a clinically insane woman’s hearsay when it tries to solve crimes.
HALLIE
Lotta good that did them, ey?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
There is no evidence that the muggings are connected to the two victims you murdered on the 12th December.
HALLIE
Well, if people’s words and witness accounts aren’t enough, you’re right. Anyway, since when did I kill them on the 12th? I killed them on the fucking 13th. I did that on purpose too. Make sure that’s included in this fucking report. At around 1 o’clock in the morning on Thursday 13th December.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Why is the date so important to you?
HALLIE
I would’ve had to wait another three months for it to be Friday the 13th and by then they pissed me off enough to justify killing them on a Thursday.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(notes something down) Wonderful. Would you like to justify your murder in any other way?
HALLIE
Homicide. And yes; three days before I killed them they mugged a middle aged woman, stealing her wallet, her phone and purse. You’ll find the purse in the upper draw in the bastard’s study. They were getting a little lazy with getting rid of evidence.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(notes something down again) Wonderful. So, what happens when we find your fingerprints all over the stuff?
HALLIE
(snorts) None of my fingerprints are over any of the stuff. Have you ever heard of wearing gloves, honey?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Is there anything else you’d like to say?
HALLIE
(grins, leaning forward on the table) Yes, Miss Walsh. I have one more question to ask. What are you doing here? with me?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(taken aback, though masks it) What?
HALLIE
You’re well educated. You have a graduate degree. You’re from the Upper East Side of New York and spent your whole life impressing your father. So, why are you here? Was there no man your father approved of? Was there no one who could make you happy enough to keep you?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(slamming on tape recorder in shock to turn it off) What the hell are you talking about?
HALLIE
(leaning back thoughtfully) You’re right. What am I talking about? It wasn’t the fact that you couldn’t find a man that daddy didn’t love; you couldn’t find a man that you loved.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Who the hell do you think you are?
HALLIE
(waving) We’ve discussed that already. I’m curious who you are though, Police Detective Walsh. (leans forward on the table) If New York couldn’t satisfy your needs, what the hell can?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(not distressed, though annoyed) Making my country a safer place, Miss Lambert, is reward enough for me.
HALLIE
Reward enough? C’mon Caroline, we both know better than that.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(get’s up) Police Detective Walsh, to you. I can see we’re done here.
HALLIE
That’s what you think. We both know who will be haunting you’re dreams tonight.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Do you really think you’re that difficult to read, Miss Lambert? You may have deduced stuff from my appearance, but at least my life doesn’t depend on other people’s interpretation of who I am.
HALLIE
(inhales and exhales slowly, thoughtfully) How high are the stakes, Police Detective Walsh? (POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH looks annoyed as she walks towards the door) Are you going to kill me?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(stands at the door of the cell, pausing, though doesn’t turn around) Depends.
HALLIE
On what?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(snorts) I have no clue.
HALLIE
(grinning, getting up) Good. The stakes are as high as I could make them; hit me please. (POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH pauses at the door and slowly turn around to hold eye contact with the relaxed Hallie one last time)
CUTS TO BLACK
= An Odd Number of Stars
+ Maple Walnut #2 [All Bark, No Bite]
+ Root Beer Float
+ Rainbow Sprinkles
+ Cherry [Noir Style]
Good. The stakes are as high as I could make them; hit me please.
Introducing Kerri in noir style. Can you tell I'm reading Raymond Chandler?
Character: Kerri (Caroline Walsh) Timeframe: May 2010 Word Count: 1,640
SETTING: IN A DIMLY LIT INTERROGATION CELL.
TWO WOMEN, ONE WELL DRESSED AND OBVIOUSLY THE POLICEWOMAN AND THE OTHER COVERED IN TATTOOS AND HANDCUFFED SITS AT THE TABLE, SMOKING.
POLICEWOMAN
You know why you’re here, don’t you?
SUSPECT
(grinning) I can’t remember.
POLICEWOMAN
(Incredulous and annoyed) What do you mean, you can’t remember? Don’t you have an inkling as to why you’re here? Couldn’t you infer from your surroundings what’s going on?
SUSPECT
(raises an eyebrow)
Did you know I once won a poker game in three rounds, clearing five out of the seven players out?
POLICEWOMAN
(annoyed)
That has nothing to do with my question.
SUSPECT
(inhales cigarette)
Really?
(exhales slowly)
I can read people like a book. I knew the cards of everyone of those players with the way they smiled; the way they tapped their foot and the way they bet.
POLICEWOMAN
This isn’t a poker game.
SUSPECT
Life’s a poker game. Stakes are as high as you make them, honey.
POLICEWOMAN
(stiff) Police Detective Walsh, to you.
SUSPECT
Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hands if I wasn’t wearing this lovely décor (shows handcuffs). I’m sure you already know my name anyway.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
You killed two people and were a federal suspect. I highly doubt anyone in this building doesn’t know who you are.
SUSPECT
(snorts) You’d be surprised, honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(organises paper professionally) Let’s stop messing around, shall we, Miss Lambert?
SUSPECT
Lambert? Please, call me Hallie. I don’t answer to any other name.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(ignoring) Miss Lambert, you are aware this interview is tapped. It can and will be used against you in your trial.
HALLIE
(ironically) Great.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Do you have any questions before I start the tape?
HALLIE
Nope. (Inhales on cigarette again, blowing out the smoke in small rings as POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH fiddles with the tape recorder.)
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Okay. State your name.
HALLIE
Hallie.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(annoyed) Your full name.
HALLIE
(sighing) Harley Cassie Lambert.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Why are you here?
HALLIE
(grinning) I’ll start with the biological and metaphysical beginning to my existence, shall I? I’m here because twenty three years ago a man and a woman decided to have sex; I was conceived and born as a result. Though if you’re looking for a more existential answer, according to different schools of philosophy I am here because either God created me, or he has a plan for me, or the universe is a random combination of events that lead to my existence. Some Buddhists even believe -
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(interjecting, severely annoyed) I want to know why you’re in this fucking police interrogation, Miss Lambert, not why you exist.
HALLIE
(grins) Oh. (inhales and exhales smoke, finishing the cigarette). I have no idea where to start, Honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
How about you start with your first crime?
HALLIE
When I was six I stole a Snickers bar from a shop.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(snaps) That’s not what I meant. Start with your double homicide
HALLIE
Can I call it a vengeance killing rather than murder?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Call it whatever you want. The state is still charging you with multiple homicide which, in several areas of the United States of America, is punishable with capital punishment.
HALLIE
(casually, under her breath) I knew I should have murdered in Belgium.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
You are aware if you cooperate with the police the judge and jury may be inclined to give you a lighter sentence?
HALLIE
(innocently) Was I not cooperating?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Answer the question Miss Lambert.
HALLIE
(Laughs). I need a cigarette.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
No you don’t.
HALLIE
(smugly) I won’t say a word then.
(the two women glare at each other over the table, a tense silence only giving way when POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH relents)
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(hands her a cigarette and lights it for her. Hallie inhales and exhales slowly being scrutinized by POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH.) The homicide?
HALLIE
Right. So, this fucking bastard and his roommate mugged sixteen women in total. I got sick of it. I killed them. They got what they deserved. I don’t see any issue.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
None of the muggings could be directly associated to the two victims. How were you sure that they were the criminals?
HALLIE
Just because the police don’t know anything don’t mean the streets don’t know anything. Walls can talk, honey.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Who were your sources of information for the suspected muggings the victims did?
HALLIE
Can’t even remember.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Any information regarding the muggings would be useful to the police.
HALLIE
Didn’t you just listen to what I said, honey? The two muggers are fucking dead. They’re not gonna hurt anyone anytime soon. Hence, the police doesn’t need any information.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(in conceit) In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Lambert, the United States Police Force uses a lot more than a clinically insane woman’s hearsay when it tries to solve crimes.
HALLIE
Lotta good that did them, ey?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
There is no evidence that the muggings are connected to the two victims you murdered on the 12th December.
HALLIE
Well, if people’s words and witness accounts aren’t enough, you’re right. Anyway, since when did I kill them on the 12th? I killed them on the fucking 13th. I did that on purpose too. Make sure that’s included in this fucking report. At around 1 o’clock in the morning on Thursday 13th December.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Why is the date so important to you?
HALLIE
I would’ve had to wait another three months for it to be Friday the 13th and by then they pissed me off enough to justify killing them on a Thursday.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(notes something down) Wonderful. Would you like to justify your murder in any other way?
HALLIE
Homicide. And yes; three days before I killed them they mugged a middle aged woman, stealing her wallet, her phone and purse. You’ll find the purse in the upper draw in the bastard’s study. They were getting a little lazy with getting rid of evidence.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(notes something down again) Wonderful. So, what happens when we find your fingerprints all over the stuff?
HALLIE
(snorts) None of my fingerprints are over any of the stuff. Have you ever heard of wearing gloves, honey?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Is there anything else you’d like to say?
HALLIE
(grins, leaning forward on the table) Yes, Miss Walsh. I have one more question to ask. What are you doing here? with me?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(taken aback, though masks it) What?
HALLIE
You’re well educated. You have a graduate degree. You’re from the Upper East Side of New York and spent your whole life impressing your father. So, why are you here? Was there no man your father approved of? Was there no one who could make you happy enough to keep you?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(slamming on tape recorder in shock to turn it off) What the hell are you talking about?
HALLIE
(leaning back thoughtfully) You’re right. What am I talking about? It wasn’t the fact that you couldn’t find a man that daddy didn’t love; you couldn’t find a man that you loved.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Who the hell do you think you are?
HALLIE
(waving) We’ve discussed that already. I’m curious who you are though, Police Detective Walsh. (leans forward on the table) If New York couldn’t satisfy your needs, what the hell can?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(not distressed, though annoyed) Making my country a safer place, Miss Lambert, is reward enough for me.
HALLIE
Reward enough? C’mon Caroline, we both know better than that.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(get’s up) Police Detective Walsh, to you. I can see we’re done here.
HALLIE
That’s what you think. We both know who will be haunting you’re dreams tonight.
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
Do you really think you’re that difficult to read, Miss Lambert? You may have deduced stuff from my appearance, but at least my life doesn’t depend on other people’s interpretation of who I am.
HALLIE
(inhales and exhales slowly, thoughtfully) How high are the stakes, Police Detective Walsh? (POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH looks annoyed as she walks towards the door) Are you going to kill me?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(stands at the door of the cell, pausing, though doesn’t turn around) Depends.
HALLIE
On what?
POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH
(snorts) I have no clue.
HALLIE
(grinning, getting up) Good. The stakes are as high as I could make them; hit me please. (POLICE DETECTIVE WALSH pauses at the door and slowly turn around to hold eye contact with the relaxed Hallie one last time)
CUTS TO BLACK