White Chocolate 20, Blue Raspberry 9, Pralines & Cream 28
Title: The Evaluation of Dr. Cygnelius Corvo, 15
Story Continuity: The Lethean Glamour (non-main story)
Author: darkfaerieclaw
Prompts: White Chocolate #20: arrogance, Blue Raspberry #9: wrongly accused, Pralines & Cream #28: change of pace
Extra/Topping: Whipped Cream (Cyg is 15 [as opposed to 26 in LG]), Malt (Bingo, card 2: " whipped cream + Innocent When You Dream + cherry + snow + fast food/takeout")), Cherry (interview)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Cyg is evaluated for delusions of grandeur, and tries to clear his name. The story of how Cyg was Branded, from the point of view of young Cyg. RBF, & eferences minor character from BFTS.
Note: White Chocolate prompt challenge is now complete. :)
FADE IN:
INT. DR. STOWE'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE, VOLACOEUR CITY - DAY
Tape turns ON. DR. LILLIAN STOWE, attractive, middle-aged court psychologist, speaks, her voice scratchy and faintly tired, as if she has been speaking the entire night before instead of sleeping.
DR. STOWE
Dr. Lillian Stowe overseeing patient Cygnelius Corvo for evaluation, and test running Dr. Hauberka Harding's haasdu telecorder. Notes will be taken at a later date. Patient's overseer Jeremiah Neruda and friend - Prince Valentio Halcyon Melman? Is this true?
CYGNELIUS
(crossly)
Friendships are not like marriages and families, doctor; they are based on personal preferences, values, and respect, not class. Please tell me they taught you at least that much.
DR. STOWE
Patient is exhibiting a great deal of hostility to the overseeing doctor. In addition, Mr. Corvo was brought in for showing signs of clinical depression and possible suicidal behavior, as well as delusions of grandeur. He is aged fifteen years old, the youngest chief researcher in the history of the world, and has been known to test magical experiments on himself.
CYGNELIUS
That's what they told me, too. But I'm not the one who gave me this scar.
Patient exaggeratedly motions to his hand at the camera as if he is modeling it, bringing attention to a large, ugly burn in the shape of the sign of Pluto running from the middle of the back of his hand to his wrist below his palm. Dr. Stowe seems unimpressed.
DR. STOWE
(soothingly)
No, of course not. No one is saying for certain it was you.
CYGNELIUS
No, seriously, I shouldn't be in here talking to you. Get Helvetico Ducard in here, you'll be set for life. He's raided my sleeping quarters and replaced the contents of my underwear drawer with pink silk panties and bras with tiny bows on them. I'm fifteen, for the love of Herbereke Christ, that's pedophilia and sexual harrassment and breaking and entering and so many other degrees of wrong my mind is too boggled to think of. Why am I in here?
DR. STOWE
Because, Mr. Corvo - Cygnelius - your team is worried about you. It's only natural; you're so young, after all.
CYGNELIUS
Kah, they'll all be working for me in five years, anyway.
DR. STOWE
Let's talk about that.
CYGNELIUS
What, how much smarter I am than you? It's not that surprising - I actually studied in University.
DR. STOWE
Now isn't the time for petty mud-slinging, Cyg-
CYGNELIUS
Petty mud-slinging? Whatever. Did you think I wouldn't investigate the credentials of the first idiot doctor who decided to try and evaluate me? So here's what I know about you, and it isn't mud-slinging in any way: your name is Lillian Virginia Stowe, 46, a graduate from Zioniska, the value-mart of colleges, where you aced your classes despite unfortunate grades. You were accused and then acquitted of charges of sexual blackmail and favors. Incidentally, the first judge, a woman, died mysteriously in her home at the ripe old age of 34, and the next judge, the one who acquitted you, was a known male sex addict. And also 62, which, even if you're big into male anatomy, ew.
Dr. Stowe's eyes narrow slightly, and all traces of friendliness have vanished.
DR. STOWE
(quietly)
What are you implying?
CYGNELIUS
Implying nothing, hag. I'm outright telling you I demand a new doctor. I'm not talking to someone as underqualified as you.
Dr. Stowe is silent for a moment, then speaks.
DR. STOWE
I think this session is over.
Dr. Stowe turns the camera OFF.
CUT TO:
INT. DR. HANSEN'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE, VOLACOEUR CITY - DAY
The visual comes back on a moment later, with another woman - older than Stowe by perhaps seven years - and Cygnelius is no longer wearing his lab coat, but comfortable-looking black pants and a black shirt with strange silver pins on it.
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Juliet Hansen overseeing patient Cygnelius Corvo. See previous tape with Dr. Stowe for additional information and likely diagnoses. Hello, Cygnelius. Are you feeling charitable enough to speak with me?
CYGNELIUS
You checked out all right. You did poorly in school, but you made up for that for your performance here at the castle.
DR. HANSEN
(dryly)
I'm glad I check out to your satisfaction, then. How are you feeling?
CYGNELIUS
Like getting this over with. Did they tell you what my delusions of grandeur were?
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Stowe was eminently unhelpful and Dr. Neruda suggested you tell me yourself.
CYGNELIUS
Then let me tell you what happened to me three years ago, and you can decide for yourself if I'm delusional, or if I'm in any danger of killing myself. Or if, maybe, I'm a liar and a phony and a crybaby.
Cygnelius looks at the camera, then Dr. Hansen, then the camera uncertainly.
DR. HANSEN
I'd like it if you addressed me.
Cygnelius nods, slowly.
CYGNELIUS
Of course, Doctor. I was twelve when I graduated University. I could have progressed at a normal, agonizingly slow rate, but from the age of four, I've been - chasing after my father's shadow, you know? I wanted to be...I wanted to excel, make my father acknowledge me as an equal and a worthy son. I didn't really get a lot of that with mom or dad - acknowledgement or validation, you know. Mom was waiting for me to grow up and dad - he was...I think he was waiting to die. I assumed for a long time I had an aunt he was still grieving over. No aunt, as it turned out - but that's getting ahead of myself. So I go through University, and I apply for an internship here, of course, because my father worked here and you can't really receive an honor higher than working directly for the royal family. And I get it, duh, because I was highly acclaimed. On my first or second day, I met the prince - not Lysandro, Valentio - and he became my first friend. It felt great, I guess, because while we wasn't at my level, he was...entertaining and smart enough in his own way, and he had some moments of insight.
DR. HANSEN
Did his being closest to your age help, do you think?
CYGNELIUS
Um, maybe? You're the head shrinker, get into my head your own self. It might be, but I didn't really have any interest at all in him at first. I can barely remember meeting him in the halls for the first time. All I remember is that I was in a hurry, and he was smiling even after I shot him down. You should probably get him in here sometime, before he gets into a deviant sex scandal.
DR. HANSEN
Do you think Prince Valentio is gay?
CYGNELIUS
Unf - no, not at all. He's just...he likes getting hurt, I think. Maybe not sexually, but certainly, he likes getting put down. So, during my internship, my father decided it would be a swell idea to head to Amlaine to pursue a lead on this project he's been working on - his life's work, total resurrection. You know what that is?
DR. HANSEN
I've read about it. The resurrection of those who have been dead for longer than a day or deemed too far gone to resuscitate. It's considered pseudoscience, but there are people who think it will be possible many years from now.
CYGNELIUS
Right. We arrived in Amlaine in late December; it was snowing hard. It was beautiful, but it was also too cold to admire outside. It was...a nice change of pace from Frutsmoarg, where it's always hot. Some of the interns tried to get me to do a lot of kid stuff I refused to do. Andor tried to get me to eat this ridiculously kiddie-looking burger he ordered when we were ordering takeout from Milliard's. Susan tried to arrange a play date with her ten-year-old girl child. Which, no. Snowman building was another one. I think I gave in to that somewhere near the end, but I pissed off the woman who demanded it of me by - ah - giving the snowman a piece.
DR. HANSEN
A piece of what?
CYGNELIUS
A dick, doctor. I used a carrot. After all, no true man is anatomically complete without one.
(smirking)
Yeah, Miss Serenetta Carter didn't find that so cute. I suppose she wasn't familiar with the mindset of twelve-year-old boys. Or teen boys. Valentio thought it was hilarious. It wasn't, in hindsight, but - it's a good memory.
DR. HANSEN
Yes, it sounds like you had quite a good time at her expense.
CYGNELIUS
Hey, I did the world a favor. She tied her tubes after that. Thanks to me, there won't be any mini-Serenettas unleashed upon the world. So at first, there wasn't really much to do. We followed a lot of dead ends and spent a lot of time in graveyards. Which, by the way, is more fun than it sounds like. Graveyards are fascinating places, if you know what to look for and what you can do. We spent a lot of time in the noble burial grounds. No one really questioned it; after all, nobles and royalty are probably going to be the first people able to afford full resurrections, right?
Cygnelius sighs.
CYGNELIUS
It was more than sensibility. Dad didn't have a sensible vein left in his body at that point, I don't think. He had us study decomposition and de-rotting spells on the human cadaver while he met with a seedy assortment of sorcerers, mystics and humans and a handful of fairies and fae. He found what he was looking for in a fae he's told me asked him to call her Narl-Nayru. He started spending more time with me, offering to teach me powerful magic, stuff beyond the limitations of dark and light magic. They call it the Greys. I'm writing a book on some things I noticed, but my publishers want something more mainstream. Idiots. The Greys are things that aren't harmful, but aren't necessarily naturally benevolent, either. Things like interdimensional teleportation, transchronology, meta-creation - you get the idea.
DR. HANSEN
Transchronology and meta-creation, what are those?
CYGNELIUS
Fairly new magic, very old ideas. Transchronology is just a fancy word for time travel, and meta-creation is the creation of small alternate universes. They're working on that in the castle now, you know - for storage purposes. We're calling them subdimensional compartments, or Sub-Ds, but they keep randomly collapsing in on themselves after two months. Dad was making me work on this for a reason, and he kept pushing me even when I got sick towards the end of the year. He said he needed me, and I - I believed him. He wasn't lying, it was just...we had different ideas of needing someone. I understand now how he meant it, but even if I was a genius, I was still a child.
CYGNELIUS
(cont'd)
So - so one day he takes me aside and tells me that he wants to try something with me. I agree, of course - time with dad and a possible important discovery, two birds and one stone - and he takes me to the graveyard alone, just the two of us and a brown crate. Mystics don't normally need spell components like humans, but there are a few spells that require them no matter what. Usually ones invoking the power of the gods, or calling them to you.
DR. HANSEN
Did Alcionus - did your father call upon a god? That's never been known to end well.
CYGNELIUS
Well, he is dead, or something very close to it. No, we didn't call on or invoke the power of any god. He - we performed a transdimensional leap. He entered the domain of the god Ibis, the Underworld. I was horrified, of course, but dad, he was calm. He said he'd been trying to revive the woman he loved ever since he heard the idea was possible.
DR. HANSEN
Your mother is listed as your emergency contact.
CYGNELIUS
Dad's true love wasn't my mom. It was this woman from Amlaine - killed herself before her wedding to the current duke. He wanted to challenge Ibis for her life. He said he'd sacrifice anything to be with her again, his body, his soul - even his mind, if it came to that.
DR. HANSEN
What about you?
Cygnelius LAUGHS briefly, the sound brittle and cold.
CYGNELIUS
Yeah, what about me, right? The Underworld is pretty big, and it's constantly changing itself to accomodate new arrivals, and it's dangerous to the living. There's a lake of black flames we had a very rough time crossing; I burned my arm terribly because dad wasn't thinking very much about my safety, or that I was small for my age and thus had a worse time of catching up to him than if I were the right size. My two biggest dreams died on that lake; the dream to please my father, lost to the realization that, hey, he's kind of a dick, and my dream of being a successful researcher, burned with my arm.
DR. HANSEN
It works fine now.
CYGNELIUS
Yes, it does. It's one of the smaller mercies I've received from my...god, I guess. I'm certainly his, he can just deal with being mine. There were a lot of places that looked like something you'd see in dreams; hallucinogenic mist made from the souls of the damned, a hedge maze of bleeding hearts, baby's breath, and weeping willows making up the death gardens, where the homicidal and the suicidal end up. The bleeding hearts and the baby's breath were meant to be ironic, I think, but there's nothing funny about them. That place was...I visit it only when Ibis makes me.
DR. HANSEN
You claim to know the god of the underworld?
CYGNELIUS
Let me get this out sequentially. I need to get all of it out of me, and you're being paid to listen. So after a week, we finally reach the castle of Ibis. Have you ever been to Ghouris?
DR. HANSEN
No. I try to avoid places like that.
CYGNELIUS
Ibis's castle is like the town of Ghouris; it's alive, part marble and gemstones and part...demon. You walk through the halls and corridors, and you can feel the ground below you rising and falling as the castle breathes the devil's breath, see the veins running through the flesh of the walls. It was the least disturbing place in the Underworld. Compared to the hedge maze, it's actually quite beautiful. I was mostly mute with shock at that point, and I was still sick from the cold of Amlaine and in pain from my burned arm. We both reached Ibis fine. And then dad challenged him.
DR. HANSEN
I'm having a hard time believing this.
CYGNELIUS
Do you see my eyes? What color are they?
DR. HANSEN
The left is red and the right is...it's so dark, I'd say it's more black than brown. What does that have to do-
CYGNELIUS
Everything. My eyes used to be very blue. This thing on my neck, it's not a tattoo, it's a Brand.
DR. HANSEN
...I see.
CYGNELIUS
Don't believe me? Get a theologist in, ask him about Ibis. Every word I'm telling you is the truth.
CYGNELIUS
So Ibis...was not really up for my dad's shit. Dad challenged him to a test of his love for - for Purance, her name was. He told Ibis to bring before him the souls of women who resembled his love and the soul of his love as she was in the Underworld, and to mask their faces, and he could identify her, even though it had been twenty years. That was the dumbest way to phrase the question ever. The debt, by the way, that he would have to pay for guessing wrong was whatever Ibis wanted. That was his third mistake.
Cygnelius shifts uncomfortably, his hand resting over his Brand as he rubs it.
CYGNELIUS
So dad identifies this woman, and it isn't the right one. He's shocked, and he's even more shocked when he learns that Purance never passed on into the Underworld; she was waiting for him, haunting the halls of their "special place" in Amlaine. So he cries there and then, asks Ibis to take anything, but to reunite him and Purance. Ibis asks if anything included me, his son; and...dad agreed. He agreed with no hesitation at all. Ibis asked me a few questions - I can't remember, I was in shock and I felt betrayed and I - I just hurt. And at the end, Ibis Branded me as one of his children and he turned dad into an undead slave. He refuses to let dad reunite with Purance ever again; when she descends to the Underworld, if she ever does, dad will be reincarnated. Ibis says he'll be reincarnated as a worm, so Purance will never fall in love with him again even if they do meet again someday.
DR. HANSEN
How do I know you're telling the truth?
CYGNELIUS
Well, you could always try to kill me. I can only be killed by a god or Branded more spiritually powerful than me. No ordinary mortal creature can kill me. That's also why I take Samhain off; that's the only time Ibis requires me to visit him and my dad. When I turn forty, I'll take a more active role in the business of the Underworld. Until then, I'm free to live a normal life.
DR. HANSEN
Ibis, then.
CYGNELIUS
Yeah, Ibis. I'm already changing from the experience. His voice was like nails across skin when I was 12 - physically painful, a pain to hear. It's gotten softer, less terrible, more bearable, whatever you please, the more time passes. Dad says it's because I'm more accepting of the idea of dying - like they say, if you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, if you've made your peace they're angels freeing you from this earthly coil, et cetera, which is all very interesting, Miss Hansen, except it means, um, I'm - I'm giving up on life. I'm turning sixteen next month, and, you know, I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I shouldn't. I should be spending more time worrying over how often I catch myself staring at my best friend and seeing - and catching myself fantasizing about him. Not wondering how long it'll be until he's dead and gone and I'm still alive. I should be so many things, you know, Miss Hansen. And I'm not. I'm falling behind for the first time in my life. And it's all because I wanted to get ahead. I believe they call that irony.
The client CONSIDERS this.
CYGNELIUS
I really hate irony. I always did. It's my least favorite literary device, and I don't like a lot of them.
(more lucidly)
So there you have it. I've been falsely accused of suicidal behavior, when it's impossible for me to pull that off. I'll admit to being overstressed, but I've been pulling too many all-nighters on an important project that could change the way the world works forever. I've learned my lesson. And I've explained myself. I refuse any more therapy, and any pills you give me, I'm going to sell them.
DR. HANSEN
I'll...be in touch, then. If I have additional questions.
CYGNELIUS
If you must.
Tape turns off.
CUT TO:
INT. DR. HANSEN'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE - EARLY EVENING
And on, again. Dr. Hansen is dressed differently, and looks a little less professional.
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Corvo's story checks out. I contacted the late Dr. Corvo's old team, and everything, even the carrot-penised snowman, really happened as far as they know. The court theologians seemed very interested in Dr. Corvo's Branding and what he had to say on the Underworld. Everything is...real. In this world, where the gods walk in the world of humans, it isn't impossible theoretically for a human to walk in the worlds of the gods. I have ruled out hospitalization, as I don't believe the patient needs it at this time. The patient is, however, going to be started on antidepressants; Jumpskip, 34 milligrams for a start. I hope the patient will consent to it, and for his sake, I hope he uses his time on earth to make the meaningful connections he seems afraid to that make life worth it. This is my final evaluation. He is fit to work after a three week period to adjust to the medication.
Dr. Hansen switches off the telecorder.
CUT TO:
BLACK.
END.
Story Continuity: The Lethean Glamour (non-main story)
Author: darkfaerieclaw
Prompts: White Chocolate #20: arrogance, Blue Raspberry #9: wrongly accused, Pralines & Cream #28: change of pace
Extra/Topping: Whipped Cream (Cyg is 15 [as opposed to 26 in LG]), Malt (Bingo, card 2: " whipped cream + Innocent When You Dream + cherry + snow + fast food/takeout")), Cherry (interview)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Cyg is evaluated for delusions of grandeur, and tries to clear his name. The story of how Cyg was Branded, from the point of view of young Cyg. RBF, & eferences minor character from BFTS.
Note: White Chocolate prompt challenge is now complete. :)
FADE IN:
INT. DR. STOWE'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE, VOLACOEUR CITY - DAY
Tape turns ON. DR. LILLIAN STOWE, attractive, middle-aged court psychologist, speaks, her voice scratchy and faintly tired, as if she has been speaking the entire night before instead of sleeping.
DR. STOWE
Dr. Lillian Stowe overseeing patient Cygnelius Corvo for evaluation, and test running Dr. Hauberka Harding's haasdu telecorder. Notes will be taken at a later date. Patient's overseer Jeremiah Neruda and friend - Prince Valentio Halcyon Melman? Is this true?
CYGNELIUS
(crossly)
Friendships are not like marriages and families, doctor; they are based on personal preferences, values, and respect, not class. Please tell me they taught you at least that much.
DR. STOWE
Patient is exhibiting a great deal of hostility to the overseeing doctor. In addition, Mr. Corvo was brought in for showing signs of clinical depression and possible suicidal behavior, as well as delusions of grandeur. He is aged fifteen years old, the youngest chief researcher in the history of the world, and has been known to test magical experiments on himself.
CYGNELIUS
That's what they told me, too. But I'm not the one who gave me this scar.
Patient exaggeratedly motions to his hand at the camera as if he is modeling it, bringing attention to a large, ugly burn in the shape of the sign of Pluto running from the middle of the back of his hand to his wrist below his palm. Dr. Stowe seems unimpressed.
DR. STOWE
(soothingly)
No, of course not. No one is saying for certain it was you.
CYGNELIUS
No, seriously, I shouldn't be in here talking to you. Get Helvetico Ducard in here, you'll be set for life. He's raided my sleeping quarters and replaced the contents of my underwear drawer with pink silk panties and bras with tiny bows on them. I'm fifteen, for the love of Herbereke Christ, that's pedophilia and sexual harrassment and breaking and entering and so many other degrees of wrong my mind is too boggled to think of. Why am I in here?
DR. STOWE
Because, Mr. Corvo - Cygnelius - your team is worried about you. It's only natural; you're so young, after all.
CYGNELIUS
Kah, they'll all be working for me in five years, anyway.
DR. STOWE
Let's talk about that.
CYGNELIUS
What, how much smarter I am than you? It's not that surprising - I actually studied in University.
DR. STOWE
Now isn't the time for petty mud-slinging, Cyg-
CYGNELIUS
Petty mud-slinging? Whatever. Did you think I wouldn't investigate the credentials of the first idiot doctor who decided to try and evaluate me? So here's what I know about you, and it isn't mud-slinging in any way: your name is Lillian Virginia Stowe, 46, a graduate from Zioniska, the value-mart of colleges, where you aced your classes despite unfortunate grades. You were accused and then acquitted of charges of sexual blackmail and favors. Incidentally, the first judge, a woman, died mysteriously in her home at the ripe old age of 34, and the next judge, the one who acquitted you, was a known male sex addict. And also 62, which, even if you're big into male anatomy, ew.
Dr. Stowe's eyes narrow slightly, and all traces of friendliness have vanished.
DR. STOWE
(quietly)
What are you implying?
CYGNELIUS
Implying nothing, hag. I'm outright telling you I demand a new doctor. I'm not talking to someone as underqualified as you.
Dr. Stowe is silent for a moment, then speaks.
DR. STOWE
I think this session is over.
Dr. Stowe turns the camera OFF.
CUT TO:
INT. DR. HANSEN'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE, VOLACOEUR CITY - DAY
The visual comes back on a moment later, with another woman - older than Stowe by perhaps seven years - and Cygnelius is no longer wearing his lab coat, but comfortable-looking black pants and a black shirt with strange silver pins on it.
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Juliet Hansen overseeing patient Cygnelius Corvo. See previous tape with Dr. Stowe for additional information and likely diagnoses. Hello, Cygnelius. Are you feeling charitable enough to speak with me?
CYGNELIUS
You checked out all right. You did poorly in school, but you made up for that for your performance here at the castle.
DR. HANSEN
(dryly)
I'm glad I check out to your satisfaction, then. How are you feeling?
CYGNELIUS
Like getting this over with. Did they tell you what my delusions of grandeur were?
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Stowe was eminently unhelpful and Dr. Neruda suggested you tell me yourself.
CYGNELIUS
Then let me tell you what happened to me three years ago, and you can decide for yourself if I'm delusional, or if I'm in any danger of killing myself. Or if, maybe, I'm a liar and a phony and a crybaby.
Cygnelius looks at the camera, then Dr. Hansen, then the camera uncertainly.
DR. HANSEN
I'd like it if you addressed me.
Cygnelius nods, slowly.
CYGNELIUS
Of course, Doctor. I was twelve when I graduated University. I could have progressed at a normal, agonizingly slow rate, but from the age of four, I've been - chasing after my father's shadow, you know? I wanted to be...I wanted to excel, make my father acknowledge me as an equal and a worthy son. I didn't really get a lot of that with mom or dad - acknowledgement or validation, you know. Mom was waiting for me to grow up and dad - he was...I think he was waiting to die. I assumed for a long time I had an aunt he was still grieving over. No aunt, as it turned out - but that's getting ahead of myself. So I go through University, and I apply for an internship here, of course, because my father worked here and you can't really receive an honor higher than working directly for the royal family. And I get it, duh, because I was highly acclaimed. On my first or second day, I met the prince - not Lysandro, Valentio - and he became my first friend. It felt great, I guess, because while we wasn't at my level, he was...entertaining and smart enough in his own way, and he had some moments of insight.
DR. HANSEN
Did his being closest to your age help, do you think?
CYGNELIUS
Um, maybe? You're the head shrinker, get into my head your own self. It might be, but I didn't really have any interest at all in him at first. I can barely remember meeting him in the halls for the first time. All I remember is that I was in a hurry, and he was smiling even after I shot him down. You should probably get him in here sometime, before he gets into a deviant sex scandal.
DR. HANSEN
Do you think Prince Valentio is gay?
CYGNELIUS
Unf - no, not at all. He's just...he likes getting hurt, I think. Maybe not sexually, but certainly, he likes getting put down. So, during my internship, my father decided it would be a swell idea to head to Amlaine to pursue a lead on this project he's been working on - his life's work, total resurrection. You know what that is?
DR. HANSEN
I've read about it. The resurrection of those who have been dead for longer than a day or deemed too far gone to resuscitate. It's considered pseudoscience, but there are people who think it will be possible many years from now.
CYGNELIUS
Right. We arrived in Amlaine in late December; it was snowing hard. It was beautiful, but it was also too cold to admire outside. It was...a nice change of pace from Frutsmoarg, where it's always hot. Some of the interns tried to get me to do a lot of kid stuff I refused to do. Andor tried to get me to eat this ridiculously kiddie-looking burger he ordered when we were ordering takeout from Milliard's. Susan tried to arrange a play date with her ten-year-old girl child. Which, no. Snowman building was another one. I think I gave in to that somewhere near the end, but I pissed off the woman who demanded it of me by - ah - giving the snowman a piece.
DR. HANSEN
A piece of what?
CYGNELIUS
A dick, doctor. I used a carrot. After all, no true man is anatomically complete without one.
(smirking)
Yeah, Miss Serenetta Carter didn't find that so cute. I suppose she wasn't familiar with the mindset of twelve-year-old boys. Or teen boys. Valentio thought it was hilarious. It wasn't, in hindsight, but - it's a good memory.
DR. HANSEN
Yes, it sounds like you had quite a good time at her expense.
CYGNELIUS
Hey, I did the world a favor. She tied her tubes after that. Thanks to me, there won't be any mini-Serenettas unleashed upon the world. So at first, there wasn't really much to do. We followed a lot of dead ends and spent a lot of time in graveyards. Which, by the way, is more fun than it sounds like. Graveyards are fascinating places, if you know what to look for and what you can do. We spent a lot of time in the noble burial grounds. No one really questioned it; after all, nobles and royalty are probably going to be the first people able to afford full resurrections, right?
Cygnelius sighs.
CYGNELIUS
It was more than sensibility. Dad didn't have a sensible vein left in his body at that point, I don't think. He had us study decomposition and de-rotting spells on the human cadaver while he met with a seedy assortment of sorcerers, mystics and humans and a handful of fairies and fae. He found what he was looking for in a fae he's told me asked him to call her Narl-Nayru. He started spending more time with me, offering to teach me powerful magic, stuff beyond the limitations of dark and light magic. They call it the Greys. I'm writing a book on some things I noticed, but my publishers want something more mainstream. Idiots. The Greys are things that aren't harmful, but aren't necessarily naturally benevolent, either. Things like interdimensional teleportation, transchronology, meta-creation - you get the idea.
DR. HANSEN
Transchronology and meta-creation, what are those?
CYGNELIUS
Fairly new magic, very old ideas. Transchronology is just a fancy word for time travel, and meta-creation is the creation of small alternate universes. They're working on that in the castle now, you know - for storage purposes. We're calling them subdimensional compartments, or Sub-Ds, but they keep randomly collapsing in on themselves after two months. Dad was making me work on this for a reason, and he kept pushing me even when I got sick towards the end of the year. He said he needed me, and I - I believed him. He wasn't lying, it was just...we had different ideas of needing someone. I understand now how he meant it, but even if I was a genius, I was still a child.
CYGNELIUS
(cont'd)
So - so one day he takes me aside and tells me that he wants to try something with me. I agree, of course - time with dad and a possible important discovery, two birds and one stone - and he takes me to the graveyard alone, just the two of us and a brown crate. Mystics don't normally need spell components like humans, but there are a few spells that require them no matter what. Usually ones invoking the power of the gods, or calling them to you.
DR. HANSEN
Did Alcionus - did your father call upon a god? That's never been known to end well.
CYGNELIUS
Well, he is dead, or something very close to it. No, we didn't call on or invoke the power of any god. He - we performed a transdimensional leap. He entered the domain of the god Ibis, the Underworld. I was horrified, of course, but dad, he was calm. He said he'd been trying to revive the woman he loved ever since he heard the idea was possible.
DR. HANSEN
Your mother is listed as your emergency contact.
CYGNELIUS
Dad's true love wasn't my mom. It was this woman from Amlaine - killed herself before her wedding to the current duke. He wanted to challenge Ibis for her life. He said he'd sacrifice anything to be with her again, his body, his soul - even his mind, if it came to that.
DR. HANSEN
What about you?
Cygnelius LAUGHS briefly, the sound brittle and cold.
CYGNELIUS
Yeah, what about me, right? The Underworld is pretty big, and it's constantly changing itself to accomodate new arrivals, and it's dangerous to the living. There's a lake of black flames we had a very rough time crossing; I burned my arm terribly because dad wasn't thinking very much about my safety, or that I was small for my age and thus had a worse time of catching up to him than if I were the right size. My two biggest dreams died on that lake; the dream to please my father, lost to the realization that, hey, he's kind of a dick, and my dream of being a successful researcher, burned with my arm.
DR. HANSEN
It works fine now.
CYGNELIUS
Yes, it does. It's one of the smaller mercies I've received from my...god, I guess. I'm certainly his, he can just deal with being mine. There were a lot of places that looked like something you'd see in dreams; hallucinogenic mist made from the souls of the damned, a hedge maze of bleeding hearts, baby's breath, and weeping willows making up the death gardens, where the homicidal and the suicidal end up. The bleeding hearts and the baby's breath were meant to be ironic, I think, but there's nothing funny about them. That place was...I visit it only when Ibis makes me.
DR. HANSEN
You claim to know the god of the underworld?
CYGNELIUS
Let me get this out sequentially. I need to get all of it out of me, and you're being paid to listen. So after a week, we finally reach the castle of Ibis. Have you ever been to Ghouris?
DR. HANSEN
No. I try to avoid places like that.
CYGNELIUS
Ibis's castle is like the town of Ghouris; it's alive, part marble and gemstones and part...demon. You walk through the halls and corridors, and you can feel the ground below you rising and falling as the castle breathes the devil's breath, see the veins running through the flesh of the walls. It was the least disturbing place in the Underworld. Compared to the hedge maze, it's actually quite beautiful. I was mostly mute with shock at that point, and I was still sick from the cold of Amlaine and in pain from my burned arm. We both reached Ibis fine. And then dad challenged him.
DR. HANSEN
I'm having a hard time believing this.
CYGNELIUS
Do you see my eyes? What color are they?
DR. HANSEN
The left is red and the right is...it's so dark, I'd say it's more black than brown. What does that have to do-
CYGNELIUS
Everything. My eyes used to be very blue. This thing on my neck, it's not a tattoo, it's a Brand.
DR. HANSEN
...I see.
CYGNELIUS
Don't believe me? Get a theologist in, ask him about Ibis. Every word I'm telling you is the truth.
CYGNELIUS
So Ibis...was not really up for my dad's shit. Dad challenged him to a test of his love for - for Purance, her name was. He told Ibis to bring before him the souls of women who resembled his love and the soul of his love as she was in the Underworld, and to mask their faces, and he could identify her, even though it had been twenty years. That was the dumbest way to phrase the question ever. The debt, by the way, that he would have to pay for guessing wrong was whatever Ibis wanted. That was his third mistake.
Cygnelius shifts uncomfortably, his hand resting over his Brand as he rubs it.
CYGNELIUS
So dad identifies this woman, and it isn't the right one. He's shocked, and he's even more shocked when he learns that Purance never passed on into the Underworld; she was waiting for him, haunting the halls of their "special place" in Amlaine. So he cries there and then, asks Ibis to take anything, but to reunite him and Purance. Ibis asks if anything included me, his son; and...dad agreed. He agreed with no hesitation at all. Ibis asked me a few questions - I can't remember, I was in shock and I felt betrayed and I - I just hurt. And at the end, Ibis Branded me as one of his children and he turned dad into an undead slave. He refuses to let dad reunite with Purance ever again; when she descends to the Underworld, if she ever does, dad will be reincarnated. Ibis says he'll be reincarnated as a worm, so Purance will never fall in love with him again even if they do meet again someday.
DR. HANSEN
How do I know you're telling the truth?
CYGNELIUS
Well, you could always try to kill me. I can only be killed by a god or Branded more spiritually powerful than me. No ordinary mortal creature can kill me. That's also why I take Samhain off; that's the only time Ibis requires me to visit him and my dad. When I turn forty, I'll take a more active role in the business of the Underworld. Until then, I'm free to live a normal life.
DR. HANSEN
Ibis, then.
CYGNELIUS
Yeah, Ibis. I'm already changing from the experience. His voice was like nails across skin when I was 12 - physically painful, a pain to hear. It's gotten softer, less terrible, more bearable, whatever you please, the more time passes. Dad says it's because I'm more accepting of the idea of dying - like they say, if you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, if you've made your peace they're angels freeing you from this earthly coil, et cetera, which is all very interesting, Miss Hansen, except it means, um, I'm - I'm giving up on life. I'm turning sixteen next month, and, you know, I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I shouldn't. I should be spending more time worrying over how often I catch myself staring at my best friend and seeing - and catching myself fantasizing about him. Not wondering how long it'll be until he's dead and gone and I'm still alive. I should be so many things, you know, Miss Hansen. And I'm not. I'm falling behind for the first time in my life. And it's all because I wanted to get ahead. I believe they call that irony.
The client CONSIDERS this.
CYGNELIUS
I really hate irony. I always did. It's my least favorite literary device, and I don't like a lot of them.
(more lucidly)
So there you have it. I've been falsely accused of suicidal behavior, when it's impossible for me to pull that off. I'll admit to being overstressed, but I've been pulling too many all-nighters on an important project that could change the way the world works forever. I've learned my lesson. And I've explained myself. I refuse any more therapy, and any pills you give me, I'm going to sell them.
DR. HANSEN
I'll...be in touch, then. If I have additional questions.
CYGNELIUS
If you must.
Tape turns off.
CUT TO:
INT. DR. HANSEN'S OFFICE, VOLACOEUR CASTLE - EARLY EVENING
And on, again. Dr. Hansen is dressed differently, and looks a little less professional.
DR. HANSEN
Dr. Corvo's story checks out. I contacted the late Dr. Corvo's old team, and everything, even the carrot-penised snowman, really happened as far as they know. The court theologians seemed very interested in Dr. Corvo's Branding and what he had to say on the Underworld. Everything is...real. In this world, where the gods walk in the world of humans, it isn't impossible theoretically for a human to walk in the worlds of the gods. I have ruled out hospitalization, as I don't believe the patient needs it at this time. The patient is, however, going to be started on antidepressants; Jumpskip, 34 milligrams for a start. I hope the patient will consent to it, and for his sake, I hope he uses his time on earth to make the meaningful connections he seems afraid to that make life worth it. This is my final evaluation. He is fit to work after a three week period to adjust to the medication.
Dr. Hansen switches off the telecorder.
CUT TO:
BLACK.
END.