Rising
Author: Amata le Fay
Title: Rising
Story: Omni
Flavor(s): Teaberry 3 (you may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise)
Toppings/Extras: None
Rating: PG13 for mild language
Word Count: 589
Notes: Maya Angelou has to be one of my favorite writers. Rest in peace, Dr. Angelou. Concrit welcome.
It seemed like every inch of her skin was starting to crawl, all at once, and she could feel the blood rushing through her veins turn backwards, flooding from her brain into her heart. Stop it. Stop it! The low hum of live wires circled her head. Electrodes dug into her scalp as if to embed themselves in her skull. “Omni!” Lilah screamed, though the sound that came out was barely a whisper. “Stop it! I can't do this! Find someone else, I can't-I can't-I'm not strong enough!”
“You... you can't turn back now.” The voice of the Omni sounded afraid, of all things. She had never heard a voice other than her own sound so scared. “You can't! You have to! I'll kill everyone if you don't!” It wasn't a threat, but a fear, and a very real possibility.
“I'm not strong-”
"You are, and I know that because you were able to say that to someone else, hours ago."
"That's n-"
"I wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't able to get through this, so suck it up and let this happen or I swear, everyone will screwing die!" the voice snapped, anger breaking through the surface as if to drown out the anxiety. A moment's pause. Then it spoke again. "Find something," the Omni repeated, "something you love, and hold tight to it. Don't let go."
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Find something you love. Something you love. But-but what if they don't-if Becca doesn't love you-what good is-that love-oh, God-I'm alone! Goddammit, I'm so-so alone-
Alone doesn't mean weak, doesn't mean abandoned. I haven't the slightest clue what it does mean, but it doesn't mean hopeless.
Her mind was growing now. She remembered things that she had never experienced, and the details of her own memories sharpened. Then came the first shock, from the electrodes buried nearest her cerebral cortex. Lilah let out a shriek. OhGodohGodohGodI'mburning-
Find something you love, and hold tight to it. Don't let go.
But wha-
Don't let go.
She was listening now to a voice that was not the strange, familiar but unidentifiable tone that had spoken in her dreams. She was listening to a voice that was distinctly her own. And she could feel herself looking into eyes: the hazel of hers and Anna's, the sharp, burnt umber of Inara's, and the deep but sparkling brown with little flecks of amber-Becca. Love each other dearly always. There is scarcely anything else in the world but that: to love one another, she told herself as she looked. Victor Hugo.
Another shock. It blazed bright blue in her mind, blinding her with light for a moment. Out of the huts of history's shame, the Omni said from inside her head, I rise.
That's Maya Angelou, she said. Up from a past that's rooted in pain, I rise.
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide. Another shock. Pain and burning, but not as much as before. Welling and swelling, I bear in the tide. Another. She could barely feel it.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear. Lilah closed her eyes and swayed, her weight shifting from foot to foot. After a moment, she had gotten her balance. I rise.
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear, recited the Omni. I rise. Bearing the gifts that my ancestors gave-
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise.
I rise.
When she opened her eyes again, they matched the blue of the lights filling the Machine's rooms and halls.
"I rise."