[Good morning, Ruby City! Does this face look familiar? It's been a while since John's poked his head onto the network -- hell, where has the kid even BEEN? He hasn't been showing up at work, hasn't been replying to posts...gosh, it's like he'd dropped off the face of the city there for a while.
Oh, wait. Maybe he did. Because here John is,
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[[Remember. She's pissed off about you vanishing because she cares.]]
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--I can explain!
[...hooold up.] Um, actually, wait. I sort of can't. I don't even know where I've been!
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I suppose it's not your fault, then. Go to the clinic and have them look you over.
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[He gets to his feet, shakily, taking a few steps...before promptly plopping right back down, whining.] Uuugggh. I think...I'm just gonna sit here for a while, okay. Gotta catch my breath. Hehe. [Get it. Breath. Heir of Breath.
...get it.]
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Oh g-god, are you ok?
[She examines him, using all of her medical training to infer that she asks really stupid questions]
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[You are totally not. Why do about 40% of your posts involve you getting hurt, John...he sways a bit, resting his weight back on his arms to keep himself sitting steadily.]
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Llll-liars never p-prosper.
[No John, she will not ask before she starts touching your face, hands, whatever, checking out the extent of your injuries. She's very bad with the whole "ask before you touch people" thing.]
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Quit all wanderin' into some wicked space vacuums or whatever the motherfuck you all get lost in.
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Get yourself some fruit gushin' candies and rest up.
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...uuugh. [He gets to his feet, slowly and shakily.] Yeah, I gotta, gotta do it for the Gushers...
[...yeah, no, he's falling right back on his face. This derp is not going anywhere without some help.]
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Everyone's all right. All of those things with the mirrors...it's over now.
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Oh geez, that's good...things got pretty fucked up for a while there. [A long sigh.] Does that kinda thing happen often...?
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I'm not certain. But I'm glad it's all over. [A sigh, a shake of the head.]
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[He nods, sighing and plopping down on his rear.] It looks like we're all safe, though...! That is the important thing. Geez...
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