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Throughout the area, in one of the neighborhoods, you could hear hammers and saws. In the streets the sound seemed to echo but anyone determined enough to follow it would find a rather nice looking but rundown house. Germany was standing outside, shirt off, sweaty, working on some boards to add to the inside of the house

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Done!

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[Confusing? That was exactly how he felt! Like wanted to run away and clutch Feli tight at the same time! It was exhausting to think about. He catches Feliciano and holds him tight again. Partiayhe is satisfied and exhilarated by this and partly unnerved. He knew it was temporary, that Italy would be in his heart again. More than he already was. He pet his hair to sooth him. There was no need to do so but he knew it was necessary to get to a peaceful moment without tears]

Am I not ze same person as him Italy?

[morethanpasta]

I don't know! [He says that in an indignant huff, accompanied by a frown as he meets Ludwig's eyes.] I don't know anymore who you are. I don't know anymore what we are. I love my Holy Roman, but he's been gone for a very long time. I waited and waited for so many years and then I mourned for him when I learned that he had died, but I still kept waiting because I hoped... It took a long time, but I accepted it. Being your friend helped. Spending time with you was a little bit like having him back. That hurt, but it also made me feel better. I was happy when you acknowledged your past, but I knew that I had to love you for being my friend Ludwig, not for being my Holy Roman. You even said that you don't want me to be your friend only because of him. [He swallows hard.] And now you remember a children's song and suddenly... [Feli averts his gaze again.]

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[He listened and as he did his heart sank. Both sides of him were hurt by both Feli's accuracy and realism. He was rushing into something very damaging. The time for this had come and gone. He understood now. He nodded solemnly]

I am sorry Feliciano. I never meant to hurt you. I vas selfish to speak out. Just... Be viss Lovino and forget vhat I said.

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[Feli opens his mouth to retort heatedly that no, that isn't what he meant at all. But he just stands there, gaping, for the question remains, what does he mean? He doesn't know. There is a selfish part of him that agrees that Ludwig shouldn't have said anything. It would have made everything easier and hope is such a dangerous thing. He'd spent centuries hoping with nothing but grief to show for it. Yet he'd long since decided that choosing the easy, the safe path with Holy Roman had been the worst mistake he had ever made. Feliciano slouches, defeated. And then, as if his own feelings aren't complicated enough, there is Lovino to consider. Lovino, who is everything he wants except that he's not him. Feli turns away slightly, stomach churning with guilt. But that's a cruel thing to think, isn't it? Ludwig is right. He should go on being Ludwig's friend and forget this ever happened, because it's certainly just a fluke, just Ludwig being confused by his memories. Just like he will sometimes look at Ludwig and feel more than he should

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[He nods and slaps on a professional but pleasant demeanor. This is what would make Feliciano calm again so he wouldn't argue. He supported the move certainly. It prevented them from having a very awkward time dealing with the lunch already underway.]

Ja. Ah, can I help? I vould you prefer... zat I stay back?

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[That professional demeanour just makes Feli feel all the more like a horrible person, even more so because he's grateful for it. But he throws himself into the cheerful masquerade with all he has. He just has to pretend that little talk never happened, at least until he has time to think and make sense of his feelings.

He's good at pretending, isn't he? He did just fine pretending back home that all the horrible things going on didn't exist, that no one was dying or getting hurt. He's fooled himself so well into thinking that it has nothing at all to do with him that he still doesn't fail to be startled whenever his new friends hold him accountable for the war. Compared to that, this is going to be easy, isn't it?]

No, no, you can help me. Check on the sauce while I check on the pasta, alright? If you want, I'll make you wurst, but I'd rather you don't. It'll cover up the taste of the pasta. [Yes, cheerful, light chatter, that's good.]

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[It was painful to see Italy this way. He bitterly regretted everything he'd said and swore he'd bury his growing feelings deep inside him. Italy wouldn't have to be burdened by him. He'd just have to keep a lid on himself...somehow. As the memories of Holy Rome came back that would be harder and harder

He stepped over to the sauce pot and turned the heat down, wiping up any spill spots where the pot may have boiled over. He gave it a stir]

No vurst.

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[Feliciano watches him out of the corner of his eyes, paying more attention to every twitch Ludwig makes than the pasta. He winces when the noodles on his fork drip water over the sideboard and quickly wipes it away with his sleeve. He stifles the urge to whistle innocently and just to make sure he really won't, Feli quickly stuffs the noodles into his mouth.] The pasta's done!

[After that chirp, he turns into a whirlwind of activity again until the food's. Keeping busy is good, it keeps things from getting awkward between them. Feliciano can't help grinning wryly as he realizes how pleased Ludwig would be to hear him praising hard work.]

See! Pasta just for you! [He smiles a more genuine smile and sits down, gesturing for Ludwig to do the same.]

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[He nods at the response, trying not to chuckle at the cuteness]

Ja. Danke.

[he was mid-clean as he was called to the table. He wiped the counter a bit more and then finally came to sit at the table]

You are eating too, ja?

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[Feliciano gives a genuine, heart-felt laugh at that.] Ludwig asks the most silly questions! Have I ever turned down pasta?

[He serves them two generous helpings and immediately starts digging into his own. Manners, what manners? It's pasta. He's still feeling awkward, but not sufficiently to lessen his appetite overly much.]

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...Nein. [He smiles and eats. It's surprisingly good considering the mess that was made creating it. He watched Felic, after all who could ignore such loud slurping and excited messy eating? Part of him longed to clean him up just by seeing the mess but he resisted. Feli was happy... or happier in that moment and it was a relief]

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[He was indeed far happier and with every forkful of pasta he shovelled into his mouth, his good mood became less forced. Pasta rarely failed to cheer Feli up and his cheerful, optimistic personality was truly a blessing in such situations. They were doing well, weren't they? This was proof that the plan to ignore what had happened was working just fine.

He hummed softly, feeling so little awkwardness that he didn't feel the need to keep himself busy solely with the food anymore.] Ve~ tell me your plans for the house!

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Hm? Ah, ja. Vell...

I changed ze plans a bit. Zere vill be zree bedrooms on ze second floor and a terrace. On ze first zere vill be ze kitchen, a dining room my office and I vas sinking a bay vindow viss a bench.

[morethanpasta]

[Feliciano nods and coos and hums while Ludwig talks to show that he has his full attention - well, all the attention that isn't on the pasta, anyway.]

That sounds nice! Especially the bay window! That would be a nice place to paint, may I come over and paint there sometimes? Painting in artifical light or candlelight isn't the same, but we don't get that much daylight nowadays and it's too cold to paint outside! [He purses his lips thoughtfully.] I have yet to teach you how to paint, too!

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[He appreciated the attention and the hums to prove it. Ludwig went on about the details and when he was done he nodded.]

I vould like zat.

I still can't draw, let alone paint.