[Action]

[bewaeltigung]

Throughout the area, in one of the neighborhoods, you could hear hammers and saws. In the streets the sound seemed to echo but anyone determined enough to follow it would find a rather nice looking but rundown house. Germany was standing outside, shirt off, sweaty, working on some boards to add to the inside of the house

Comments

Done!

[bewaeltigung]

[But he was so sure he had it on the tip of his....]


[I shouldn't think about it too much, I'll give myself a headache]


[Just listen, it might come on its own]

.....

.....


[EUREKA!]

You used to sing zat song!

[morethanpasta]

[Lost in the singing and cooking, he forgets everything, including his company. Ludwig's sudden loud exclamation startles Feli so badly, he drops the spoon with a squeak and whirls around, wide, fearful eyes searching for the threat Ludwig is yelling about.

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but when they do, he just keeps staring, all the more wide-eyed. It's impossible to pinpoint all the different emotions warring for attention, his heart is beating too wildly to make sense of it, but a deligted smile is slowly tugging his lips upwards.]

Ve?

[bewaeltigung]

Za song... you used to sing it as a child... I remember.

[He was so overcome with his discovery he didn't exactly remember the volume control. He reeled the excitement back at the sight of Felicano's reaction]

Ah, sorry.

[morethanpasta]

Ve~!

[Not the most eloquent, but oh, Feli is a bit overcome with excitement here. That smile has turned into a beam that lights up his entire face by now and he finally regains control of his body, enough to throw himself into Ludwig's arms anyway. Hug time!]

[bewaeltigung]

[Ah. Wait what? Slow down! He wasn't ready for catching you!]

[But Ludwig caught Feli anyway. There was a startled look on his face and a slight blush]

Ah, are you alright?

[morethanpasta]

Of course I'm alright! [He scrunches up his nose.]That's a silly question. I'm happy! [To show Ludwig just how happy he is, he hugs him with all his strength and buries his face against his neck, squealing in delight all the while.] Germany remembers! That's wonderful! You remember me singing! I liked to sing when I was small and I still do, but you never remembered before!

[bewaeltigung]

Sings have been coming back to me, Italy... sings I haven't sought about in unt long time.

I... remember seeing you as unt child. Flashes of sings. Austria yelling at you, hiding and watching you. You singing...

Vere zose times... vere zose times vhen I vas Holy Rome?

[morethanpasta]

[He nods enthusiastically, ve'ing all along like crazy.]

Yes, yes, you were Holy Roman! You were so cute. You would watch me and I thought it was creepy at first because you were so quiet and stern and I thought you were scary, but then I realized you're nice and I really liked it when you would listen to me sing! [He giggles.] Sometimes, when I realized you're watching me, I would sing just for you, but I don't think you knew that!

[bewaeltigung]

Ja, I remember. You used to sing all ze time. Viss your little push broom. [He blushed then. And a surge of emotion filled him. It was an old feeling from deep inside. Just a trickle of the electrical warm feeling that used to fuel his every action as a young nation. He smiled and the words left his lips without even stopping by his brain to process]

...I loved you.

[That got an internal tensing from him. What had he just said!? The scarier part, even more than that was that he knew it was true! He said it...with a certain knowledge. It was leaking out of his old repressed memories and it would be true again someday. It wasn't now, but he would love Italy again. He know it. The stone was rolling and nothing would stop it. That was both pleasant and horrifying]

[morethanpasta]

[The broom, he remembers the broom, too! Feliciano laughs loudly for no other reason than that he is happy and has to share his happiness with the world or he will burst.

...and then Ludwig saysthat. Oh, he has known that Ludwig knows that they used to be in love, but there is such a huge difference between knowing it as a mere learnt fact and remembering. Like the difference between knowing the earth revolves around the sun and having siesta in the sunshine. Feliciano's heart beats faster with a peculiar kind of happiness it is tentatively coming to associate with Lovino, but now it is speeding up with the joy of a much older love, one that is still so strong that the mere fact that Ludwig remembers tidbits of it leaves him feeling fluttery and a bit shaky. The intensity of his feelings neither startle nor surprise Feli, he has always been aware of his love for the Holy Roman Empire. He basks in this happiness now, but doesn't waste a thought on what Ludwig remembering might mean for him, for Feliciano himself, for Lovino, for the complicated relationships between them. Such thoughts have no place in this happy world.

He stands on his tiptoes, still clinging to Ludwig for balance, and kisses him on the cheek.] I love my Holy Roman, too.

[bewaeltigung]

[It was so strange. Part of him was alive with electricity, and yearning for Feliciano. That part of him burned to tell him his feelings, the deeper older feelings of an overwhelming love. He remembered scraps of frustration as a child. Not knowing how or when or if to tell Italy then. But the other part of him grew tense. Was this really what he wanted? He'd have to look after Italy all the time. And he would be needier than ever and... they'd probably...well he wasn't going to think about losing his v-card just yet. Though that sent a chill down his spine. His arms closed around Feliciano so he wouldn't fall. The Holy Rome in him was happy to squeeze Italy tight. The older Germany was much more hesitant. Holy Rome's memories and desires won out. Ludwig realize this transition period would be marked with troubles and awkwardness.]

[But a light bulb went off. Italy said 'love' not 'loved']

But....vhat about Lovino?

[morethanpasta]

[He blinks, biting on his lips. He is still feeling all fluttery, but that fluttery feeling is quickly turning into the kind of flutter born out of discomfort. The close embrace he savoured just a moment ago suddenly feels too close and he frees himself gently, though he keeps his arms loosely wrapped around Ludwig.]

Ve~ [There's a small frown on his face, he isn't happy that Ludwig brought it up. He likes not thinking about that, thank you very much. It's quite enough to deal with Lovino questioning him at every opportunity about what he feels for Ludwig, if he cares more for him than he does for Lovino. He hums softly, weighing his words carefully. That is only one the things his tumultous relationship is teaching him, to think before he speaks. He's not particularly good at it yet and reserves that special effort for Lovino, but this seems like a good moment to give Ludwig the same courtesy.] I will always love my Holy Roman. But I know Ludwig doesn't feel that way for me... and that is alright. I love Lovino.

[He smiles tentatively, rather pleased with his vague answer. He truly doesn't want to deal with this any more than he needs to. Of course he will always love Holy Roman and of course he loves Lovino, he is his brother, after all. He can feel himself falling in love with him as the joy he brings him increasingly outweighs the grief. He desperately wants to be in love with him. But their relationship is too fragile to stand up to too close scrutiny, and obliviousness is so much easier. So yes, it is a matter of course as well that Ludwig's feelings are nothing like Holy Roman's, that remembering won't change anything between them. It is easier.]

[bewaeltigung]

[Normally you would have been dead on right about that one, Feli. Any other time and he would have beem awkwardly weaseling out of this situation. But right now you were here, in his arms, his memories that had been neatly tucked away in a repressed little box were now violently bursting out. Holy Rome was still in him somewhere and he demanded his feelings be known. It was a feeling of longing and regret Ludwig felt then. He knew he had a small window to finally make things happen with Italy once and for all or regret it forever.

He remembered his desperation at moments similar to this one. Where he didn't know whether to approach the young Italy or just continue to hide. Times when he was young and desperately in love with child Italy. That longing was bursting through his psyche and demanded Ludwig take action]

Zat's not true! Zat isn't how I feel at all!

[Still, though his memories were coming out rather abruptly and loudly, Ludwig's modern self was still in him as well. It was very much a battle within him between these memories and his modern mindset. He was horrified at what he said, not for the fact that he said the words... but that he knew on some level they were true. Or more accurately that they were coming true slowly but steadily]

[morethanpasta]

[Feliciano gapes. There is little else to do in that moment, for his brain hasn't caught up yet to the situation at hand and neither has his heart, all he keeps hearing over and over again is Ludwig saying that it isn't true. He feels oddly numb and disconnected, as if he is watching this happen to someone else.

The churning mess of emotions returns in a trickle, but it still feels too much, too sudden. There is only one thing he knows for certain and that is that fate is cruel, denying him his heart's fondest wish when he did nothing but yearn for it only to dangle it in front of him when he had made his peace with the fact that the future he had once dreamt of would never become true. Dangle it in front of him, but... He shakes his head, even as his heart beats faster with joy. He feels immediately guilty for it, Lovino deserves better.]

Don't... don't say that! You don't. Holy Roman loved me. [To his mortification, he can feel tears spring into his eyes. Feli blinks furiously, he doesn't want to cry now. He wants to be strong and mature for Germany, but it hurts because this is everything he wanted for the longest time, only it's not because it's all messed up and far too complicated.] You... maybe you remember... [He swallows hards.] ...but that's not the same as feeling it...

[He ducks out of Ludwig's arms and takes a step backwards, just barely resisting the instinct to run and hide from his problems.]

[bewaeltigung]

But. But I...Nein. I-

[He wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't expected that reaction. But then that warranted him asking himself what he had expected. Perhaps for Italy to be pleased or reciprocate or... just smile. It breaks his heart a tiny bit to see his true reaction. Ludwig didn't even know he wanted Italy to be happy until he wasn't. Now he wanted that smile, h could visualize it more and more. Why was Feliciano turning away from him?

He'd made a terrible mistake? He'd come on too strong? Or... or Feli really did love Lovino. Or perhaps his actions in the war... Part of him knew that Feliciano was dead on correct, partially. And that was both a relief and a disappointment. Just when he was counting on Feli to be clueless and easy to convince...

He stepped back too, bowing his head gracefully.]

I am sorry, Italia. I didn't mean to... impose.

[morethanpasta]

[He sniffles noisily, his brows are knit together as he tries so hard not to cry anymore. Because Ludwig is looking so sad with his head bowed like that and apologizing and acting not at all like that impenetrable wall of strength Feliciano has come to rely on. He needs to reassure him and be strong, but seeing that he has... has hurt him? It just makes him want to run all the more.

Feliciano doesn't run. There are a few things in the world that are so important to him that he can't bring himself to run from them. Both Ludwig and his Holy Roman are among them. He forces himself to take a step forwards instead and once the first step is made, it's surprisingly easy to throw himself back into Ludwig's arms, laughing and crying and burying his face against his chest so the fabric will soak up the tears.]

Just now... You sounded just like him...

[He is dimly aware that he's probably just confusing Ludwig all the more by clinging and running and clinging again, but he can't help it.]