Comments | rt_challenge: Reality Conquers All

phoenixfyre13 in rt_challenge

Reality Conquers All

Sep 02, 2007 21:59

Title: Reality Conquers All
Author: phoenixfyre13
Format/Word Count: Oneshot/angst, 1,840ish
Rating: PG13
Prompt: Prompt 12 - Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap, Prompt 4 - multiple narrators
Warning: Character death, mild language
Summary: Once words are spoken, life is changed forever, and two people in love discover the painful realities of what that means.
Author’s ( Read more... )

phoenixfyre13, prompt 12, prompt 4

Comments 17

(The comment has been removed)

phoenixfyre13 September 3 2007, 21:38:01 UTC

Thanks so much for your comments!

This is one of my favorite moments in DH, and it was really the first scene I wanted to deal with. I am glad the flow worked, because it's really easy to get people off track when you aren't clear enough on who's talking when.

Thanks again! I always appreciate it when people take a moment to give a word! :)

bishwop September 3 2007, 14:17:37 UTC

Oh, this was brilliant. I was literally just thinking about Remus and Tonks in the Fallen Warrior chapter, so you've got perfect timing with this!

Remus felt the bile rise in his throat. Oh, Dora. Where the hell are you?
Poor Remus!

The ONLY thing I'd say is to do with this line:
No words were exchanged as the others clamored for information and concern over her and Ron, and Bill and Fleur arrived with the news of Mad Eye
Absolutely no offence intended, it's just that there are some words exchanged between them, and I thought it might have been nice to touch on Remus realising that Bellatrix wants to kill Tonks that much more since he married her. Obviously that being left out is not a big deal, and I quite like that there is just silence between them, but I couldn't help myself from mentioning it =S

I'm probably just being extremely fussy about that! This really is a LOVELY fic. I liked the firewhiskey bit - nice touch there - and this bit got to me especially:

She recognized that look instantly because had seen it many times the ( ... )

phoenixfyre13 September 3 2007, 15:24:10 UTC

Thank you for taking a moment to review! :)

And I completely, totally agree with you about the dialogue regarding Bellatrix. I was sitting here with the book open to that very scene, to make sure I didn't do anything out of canon, and here I forgot some of the most important information passed between the two of them, since I personally think Bellatrix's vendetta was a very important catalyst for his freakout. If you would like to read again quickly, you will see I added it in, and I think it helped tremendously in explaining his final thoughts.

Other than that, I am very glad you, er, enjoyed it? Enjoy may not be the right word, but you know what I mean...I couldn't get the two of them and this scene out of my head, it simply begged to be written.

Thanks again for the advice, and the lovely comments! :D

jncar September 3 2007, 16:37:30 UTC

This is excellent. I love how fear for the child during the escape is one of the triggers that led to his panic run-away reflex. You've articulated the thoughts and fears of both Remus and Tonks with excellent clarity and understanding.

I really enjoyed it. :)

phoenixfyre13 September 3 2007, 21:41:02 UTC

Thank you for taking a moment to comment! I am very glad that both of them came across emotionally, as this started out as Remus-centric and then kind of morphed (hah) into a multiple POV fic.

There had to be something to freak Remus out completely, and I think the knowledge of her pregnancy and Belltrix's obsession with Tonks really just pushed him over the edge.

Thanks again for reading! I know I have SO much to catch up on myself...argh! :D

gijane7702 September 3 2007, 17:56:16 UTC

Awesome as usual, dolls!

Glad you wrote it out. I think between pregnancy and Bella had Remus freaking out. Poor man =(

Enjoyed...er, you know!

phoenixfyre13 September 3 2007, 21:48:12 UTC

LOL...I know.

And poor Remus! As if the man didn't have enough to deal with. Sheesh.

Thanks for stopping in! :)

dorasolo September 3 2007, 20:22:00 UTC

He's such a noble prat, isn't he? I really like how you've gotten his little problem (not the furry one) of confusing fear with nobility down, even though it makes me sad. Mind if I friend you?

phoenixfyre13 September 3 2007, 21:50:29 UTC

LOL, he certainly can be. His, um, noble prattyness (SO not a word) really does get in the way alot. I guess you could call it his Achilles' heel.

Thanks for taking a moment to comment, and of course you can friend me! I always like making new ones. :)