pendulum

[faeriemaiden]

so far the nights are very long
and very coldandstillandstopped and she thinks

she doesn’t think anything now.

(she was two, three, and she had
a watch which was her father’s, and she liked
to hear it tickticktick against her ear

and it was a tuesday, and it was cold
and it was february and she had on yellow shoes
and the

Comments

[r0knr0ll]

I, for one, love it.

(:

[faeriemaiden]

Why thank you! ♥

[gobstones]

This is lovely!

now she is her father’s watch
and now she is the scattering of a thing that was whole)

These two lines I thought were especially beautiful, and the ending - just lovely. :)

[faeriemaiden]

Aww, thankee ever so much!! ♥

[morrighangw]

Wow... I love the formatting. It's really different, and I do think you convey the emotions very well. =D There's nothing wrong with experimenting with a new writing style. ^_~

[faeriemaiden]

Thankee! I'm usually fairly traditional as free-verse poetry goes (so, um...not so very? :p), so this was a bit fun and a bit scary. I'm glad it seems to have come out right!