(Untitled)

[bratty_jedi]

Title: Cut
Author: bratty_jedi (Rachael)
Format: Ficlet (~500 words)
Rating: All Audiences
Prompt: January 4 (tear (suggested by jesspallas)) and January 6 (tense: second person)
Warning: Angst.
Summary: The constant ache in your chest, the burning of tears in your eyes, the longing coursing through your blood, and the anger poisoning your mind are all far too

Comments

[mrstater]

Okay, so this icon isn't really appropriate for the somber mood of the piece, but...

Poor Tonks. I've always wondered whether she really knows how to do anything with her hair, since she's always been able to morph, and this scene that's simply about hair cutting goes far to show, without even saying, her emotional state. Great take on the prompts. And great use of the second person!

[bratty_jedi]

I like the icon. :) It is funny, but she looks upset enough to go with teh angst of the hair.

Thanks :) I really don't know why the idea of her hair being uncut in its natural state hadn't occurred to me before, especially given how long my hair is. Once the idea did pop into my head, I thought it was an interesting way to play with her emotional state. And you have no idea how tickled I was to read your showing not saying comment. The less time I have to write (read: 30-45 minutes for this from first idea to finished product), the more worried I am about ending up on the wrong side of the typical showing versus telling divide. Like so many, this was my first time trying second person so I'm also very pleased you enjoyed that! I still like third better, overall, but I can imagine times when first or second might be the best way to convey a specific emotion, scene, point, etc. so I'm glad to have this chance to try it.

Thanks again for your comments.

[devonwood]

I love the idea of Tonks cutting her normal hair, which is something I've always wondered about. Does she need to cut her original hair every so often? It's a question that might never be answered. :)

Also, your icon is gold. Is that actually Natalia Tena? :D

[bratty_jedi]

I'd never thought much about cutting her normal hair before. This idea just occurred to me tonight. I'm happy it resonates with someone who's given the matter more thought than I have.

Unanswered questions are a fanficcers godsend! If JKR told us everything, what would we have to write?

Also, your icon is gold. Is that actually Natalia Tena? :D
Thanks and yep! :) It was a set picture from OotP filming that was floating around leaky-cauldron, mugglenet, and all the other regular HP news sites. As soon as I saw it, I thought of that tag line and knew I had to make it into a userpic.

[godricgal]

I really like the idea behind this. It's completely believable that Tonks would think that cutting her hair, something she's not ever had to do, would be to admit defeat and acknowledge that her morphing is suffering more than a temporary lapse.

When she's trying to perform the charm around her tears, the emotion is so very keen, and it's utterly heartbreaking.

Really good use of second person, one of the times it really works. Nicely done!

[bratty_jedi]

Thanks. I'm happy this struck a chord with you, both in believability and the emotions.

Really good use of second person, one of the times it really works.
Hooray! Second person is by far my least favorite. But I'm coming to realize it might have its uses. I'm so pleased this attempt might be one of them.

[joely_jo]

This was unusual but believable. And I liked it. :)

[bratty_jedi]

It's always nice to do something new and different, but even better when it is believable and comes off well. Thank you so much!

[everknowledge]

This is so sad. Such a different take on Tonks and it works wonderfully.

[bratty_jedi]

Thanks so much. I usually do much more cheerful, playful, or humorous stuff because that better fits my personality, but you can't write R/T without occasionally giving in to the angst. I'm so happy you found this tonks different but still believable.