Clumsy-Prompt 5

[no_sweeter_song]

Title: Clumsy
Author: Viki (no_sweeter_song)
Format & Word Count: Fic, 997
Rating: PG
Prompt: 5-Margaret Atwood Poem
Warning: None, really. One swear word and some snogging. Woo.
Summary: Remus reflects on the fact that he's not supposed to fall in love, but a little girl with vibrant hair found her way into his life and never left.
Author's Note: A very

Comments

[molly_coddles]

Awww, this is so sweet. Your young Tonks is just how I picture her - all gangly and graceless, yet utterly charming. ;)
I like how you've done their early 'introductions,' where they've met - just briefly enough that they've made an impression on each other - but never actually talked. Quite realistic. :)
Good job!

[no_sweeter_song]

=D Thank you! I tend to see Tonks written that way a lot as a kid, but I just feel it fits her perfectly.

[iamweebles]

I like the idea of Remus finding Tonks a kind of annoying, distasteful kid. It's different from what I usually read, and it would be interesting to expand on that a little, actually do a scene with dialog where she turns on the annoying preteen thing and his response to it. Please do think about it - you have a good start here :)

[no_sweeter_song]

I'd actually love to do it, if not with a later prompt than at some point in the future. I'll see what I can do, thanks for the suggestion!!

[everknowledge]

This was very sweet. I have to second the thoughts of nfwbls and say it would be interesting for you to expand on Tonks preteen meeting with him. It is different, but an interesting take. Nice job. ;)

[no_sweeter_song]

Thanks! Because of that comment, I'm already looking through the prompts to see if anything sparks pre-teen Tonks in my head. :D

[devonwood]

The idea of Tonks like a baby horse is just priceless. :)

I love this version of "Remus meets young Tonks". I'm not really into the idea that they meet when she is a child (although I have written a story in which they do. XD), but this was excellently written, and I enjoyed how Remus just kind of brushed her off at first as being that "annoying girl who always trips over me." Very cute. :D

Excellent work. :)

[no_sweeter_song]

I'm always afraid to touch on the meeting of baby Tonks cause really, it's kind of pervy if you think about it too long. Doing it this way gave me the chance to say yes, he DOES know her through Sirius, but no, they're not close friends and doesn't have that Daddy vibe.

Admittedly...growing up and falling in love with him would be cute, too! *hides* But this way made me not feel as dirty. :D

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

[jncar]

Very cute ideas! I liked this line:

He, however, had been grossed out, not even feeling badly when she had tripped, skinning one of those knobby knees.

People usually write Remus as the compassionate man who always loved kids, so the image of a teenage Remus actively disliking little Tonks is funny and refreshingly different.

[no_sweeter_song]

LOL, I admit, part of me adores the fics where Remus is this caring, compassionate counter part to a tiny, fiesty Tonks. But I definitely wanted something different, and the brushing her off had the potential to become a pattern so I ran with it! Glad you think it worked.