Comments | rt_challenge: Prompt #17

mrstater in rt_challenge

Prompt #17

Apr 17, 2006 08:51

Title: Cross Words
Author: MrsTater
Format/Word Count: fic, 1150
Rating: PG
Prompt: #17, almost
Summary: "I live vicariously these days."
Author's Note: Sequel to Suspension of Disbelief and Progress. First attempt at Sirius' POV, and I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Concrit appreciated.

( It's over, then. )

mrstater, prompt 17

Comments 32

fantasticjackie April 17 2006, 19:05:59 UTC

>.< Geez! That was perfect! I was with Sirius the entire time, "Get on with it, Moony!"

I loved this POV. :) Sirius is so playful on the outside, and it was really nice to be exposed to his inner thinkings... as a matchmaker. XD

8) And Texans rock. By nature, we simply do. - Can I friend you? :)

mrstater April 17 2006, 19:09:10 UTC

Thanks very much! I'm really pleased you liked this look at Sirius.

And of course you can friend me. :)

(The comment has been removed)

mrstater April 17 2006, 22:22:16 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you liked this piece, and I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

First, let me thank you for complementing Ron by Remus saying that nobody beats him.

I like to slip in little canon references where I can - glad to know that jumped out at you.

the prior playboy now forced to live vicariously through Remus love life - oy! poor guy!

The mighty has certainly fallen, hasn't he? lol

annabtg April 17 2006, 22:46:06 UTC

Aaaah, another piece in this series!

Very well done! Loved Sirius and his crossword, his spying on the chess game between Remus and Tonks, all the 'one does that' lines...

Sirius wills Remus to think like him and take advantage of Tonks' bit of flattery. He ought to say, "I'd rather play you, luv, after I take you for dinner." Sirius cringes. Merlin's balls, he's out of practice.

:ROFLS:

And Remus's HORRIBLE line, LOL! He's such a dork (in his own cute and utterly love-able way, of course! *g*)

See ya,
Anna.

mrstater April 17 2006, 22:59:38 UTC

You commented on some of my favorite lines, so that makes me really happy. Thanks very much for your feedback! I'm very pleased you liked this.

vnfan April 18 2006, 01:39:44 UTC

I'm glad that Tonks is so strong, otherwise Remus might just have succeeded in pushing her away. I like his replies to her here. It seems that sometimes he would be able to just let go and flirt, but at other times, when he was starting to feel that he was really at risk of getting involved, he would retreat into formality to push her away. Nicely done.

Sirius just makes me sad. I LOVE him. He's had such a stunted, half life. Actually you show him as being quite a bit more patient with Remus than I often think of him. It's nice to see him as both rational and playful rather than skewed totally in one direction. I love Sirius! Sigh.

mrstater April 18 2006, 02:17:28 UTC

I think at this point Sirius wouldn't have been so totally skewed like he gets by Christmas. It's early in the summer, there are people in 12 Grimmauld all the time, he's not eat eating rats... I'm glad you felt I got the right balance with him, and with Remus' ambivalence. Thanks for reading and commenting!

mercutio_rane April 18 2006, 01:49:25 UTC

A fun little piece that definitely ended on a realistic note. How often do we bicker with friends and someone goes off brooding? So it was a very good combination of the things that make light pieces work and thing that make light pieces realistic, if that makes any sense. I loved the idea of Remus basking in his wins and his really shoddy attempt starting to ask her out and then offering to proofread (that totally made me LOL).

mrstater April 18 2006, 02:19:56 UTC

I imagine bickering and brooding happen quite frequently with Remus and Sirius. ;)

Thanks very much for your feedback. I'm really pleased you liked this piece. (As an English major geek I got a kick out of proofreading as a copout.)

shoebox_addict April 20 2006, 00:06:07 UTC

This was soooooooo super cute!! I always love the use of chess in romance fics, so that was nice. I loved Sirius intruding with his difficult crossword and I like the bit about him not being around for current events, the whole thing was very well written! Poor Remus, he chickened out! And he's so adamant in his insisting he'll dissapoint Tonks. He needs to snap out of it!!! LOL.

mrstater April 20 2006, 00:11:47 UTC

I like chess metaphores, too, though I really only used it here for an activity. ;) Glad you liked the bits with Sirius; the bit about him not knowing trivial things other people would made me kind of sad for him. And I agree, Remus needs to snap out of it. He will eventually. Thanks for your lovely feedback! I'm really happy you liked this one so much.