A Good Second Look
Title: A Good Second Look
Rating: G
Genre: AU/Romance
Length: One-Shot
Pairing(s): Kyumin
Summary: You don't always see everything the first look you take at something, sometimes it takes more than one round to fully absorb something in its entirety. The same goes for people and relationships. But what happens when you're too blind to see at all?
Sungmin was two years old the first time he met Kyuhyun; it was the day Kyuhyun was sprung into Earth from the womb of his sickly mother. Through Sungmin's own muffled cries and confusion came the birth of his soon to be best friend and long time company.
-
A couple years later, when Kyuhyun was old enough to distinguish between right and wrong, he noticed Sungmin did many things wrong. Sungmin walked wrong, he gestured his body wrong, he looked in the wrong directions and he just couldn't do many things right on his own.
Soon enough, Kyuhyun learned it wasn't that Sungmin did things wrong but it was that he did things differently. Kyuhyun then cast it aside, throwing his thoughts to the back of his mind, because Sungmin was different; a good kind of different.
Kyuhyun never truly understood why Sungmin's classmates would bully Sungmin during their elementary school days. Sungmin brushed it off with his sunshine smile, his eyes still behind his sunglasses, when Kyuhyun cried for him in the evenings after having heard of his best friends unfortunate occurrences.
To Sungmin, Kyuhyun wasn't only his best friend; Kyuhyun was his pillar in life.
-
They say people grow apart after they grow up; Sungmin never believed in it until it happened to himself. Unexpectedly, Kyuhyun began emerging into different hobbies and groups of friends after they entered their teens. Sungmin, poignantly, was unable to change like Kyuhyun did.
It wasn't as if Kyuhyun entirely neglected him, or cast him aside, but Kyuhyun just didn't have enough time to stay by Sungmin's side all day, every day.
Sungmin accepted it; he accepted everything that came at him, even if it was a rocket plunging down at him at the speed of light. What did he have to fear? He wouldn't see it, anyways.
There was never a day in Sungmin's life when he resented his parents for making him who he was, nor was there a day in his life that he wished he could be different. He remembered, distinctly, that Kyuhyun once told him “it's good to be different, Min, because that makes you special. You're special; at least, to me you are.”
Kyuhyun's words made all his suffering fade away, disappearing into the darkness that clouded his eyes. Although Kyuhyun was only seven years old when he spoke those words so carelessly, they lived with Sungmin until he was seventeen.
-
When Sungmin finally needed to start preparing for college, word spread to Kyuhyun's ears that Sungmin was leaving town; it was sudden and it hit the younger man hard. He cared, he honestly did, and he had every intention to either stop Sungmin from going anywhere too far, or at least seeing him out on the day he moved.
The day Sungmin left, Kyuhyun wasn't there to say goodbye.
Sungmin entered college with an open mind. He was used to the attention his difference garnered him, so, he didn't give the whispers and gossip any thought; they'd get used to it eventually.
Being the quiet, reserved, and introverted boy he was, Sungmin didn't expect to make any friends for the next few years of his academic career. Apparently, not everyone lived up to the same expectations because two boys by the name of Eunhyuk and Donghae immediately introduced themselves within the first minute Sungmin stepped foot into class.
“Shindong will be here soon,” Sungmin could practically hear the smile in Donghae's voice, “we'll introduce you to him, too!”
Sungmin merely nodded, trying to hide his nervousness by fumbling with his fingers.
Eunhyuk sensed the tension and rested a hand over Sungmin's. “It's okay,” he coaxed, his tone drowning in sincerity and concern, “we'll be here with you.”
From that moment on, Sungmin somehow just knew Eunhyuk and Donghae would be his new life vest throughout college.
-
Two years later, Kyuhyun decided to join Sungmin at the college in Seoul.
It was notable how much Sungmin had changed over the years; unfortunately, it was without him.
The first day he arrived, Sungmin was there to greet him. It made Kyuhyun feel terrible for not bidding Sungmin goodbye two years ago; he tried to keep in touch, but Sungmin was hardly reachable and he just didn't have enough time to keep trying all day, everyday.
The presence of three other students standing beside Sungmin, his Sungmin hyung, irritated Kyuhyun slightly as he approached them. Sungmin was talking, laughing, joking and having a blast with his friends, as if living without Kyuhyun didn't affect him in the slightest.
Kyuhyun pulled Sungmin into an embrace, startling the older man. Sungmin was just about to protest, pushing his fists against Kyuhyun's chest, when the boys scent started to settle in. “Kyuhyun?” Sungmin muttered, “is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun grumbled, glaring at the three boys slightly, “I just missed you.”
All Sungmin could do was bask in Kyuhyun's warmth, wondering what changed Kyuhyun over the past two years.
-
A week or so into the new school semester, after Kyuhyun had finally managed to get comfortable in the new environment, Sungmin decided to introduce Kyuhyun to a new, special friend. Sungmin's choice of wording over the phone (because Sungmin always seemed to be too busy to meet up with the younger boy) made Kyuhyun feel uneasy.
The three boys, whom he learned were Shindong, Eunhyuk, and Donghae, were enough to trouble him, but now there's more? And this one's special, Kyuhyun sulked, this one was special to Sungmin.
-
“His name is Yesung,” Sungmin grinned a few days later, his fingers laced into the guys hand. Kyuhyun couldn't repress his frown; something inside him deflated and it hurt, he was hurting inside. The guy smiled, throwing out his most sincere greeting, and held out a hand to Kyuhyun.
Unaware of what was happening within himself, Kyuhyun shook the mans hand before stuffing them into his pockets roughly and looking to the side. “You wanted me to meet him and I did,” Kyuhyun gritted through his teeth, “can I go now?”
“Don't you want to get to know him?” Sungmin asked, his smile faltering.
Kyuhyun noticed how the corner of Sungmin's lips fell and lowered his eyes, kicking the ground under his feet. “Yeah, sure,” he finally replied.
Yesung wasn't ignorant of Kyuhyun's attitude, nor was he blind to Kyuhyun's obvious feelings, but he wasn't going to give Sungmin up. Not even if it meant severing the relationship between himself and Sungmin's best friend since childhood. If it came down to it, Sungmin would have to choose between the two of them. Sungmin was capable of it, that much Yesung knew.
-
There came a day a year down the road when Kyuhyun got tired of Sungmin, he actually exhausted himself so much around the older man by feigning and pretending, that he stood to his feet and left Sungmin's apartment after slamming the door.
Sungmin sat on his bed, dumbfounded, unsure what there was he could do.
There was a distinct stinging in his eyes, like never before, and Sungmin, for the first time in his life, wished he could see.
If he could see, he could have seen the expression on Kyuhyun's face before he stomped out of his apartment. If Sungmin could see, he could have seen the expression on his own face after discovering that Kyuhyun could, indeed, just walk out of his life.
-
It was towards the beginning of Sungmin's last year in college when he somehow lost himself on the roads of the city. Donghae, Eunhyuk and Shindong searched around for him fervently, trying to contact Yesung amidst the frantic searches, but there wasn't a word from either of them.
They ran into Kyuhyun at some game shop and asked if he'd seen Sungmin around, but Kyuhyun replied with a negative. “I haven't seen him all year,” Kyuhyun replied honestly, shrugging slightly.
Kyuhyun, needless to say, joined them in the search.
There was a bubbling in the pit of his stomach, a sensation he felt only when Sungmin was involved. Almost two decades ago he was able to distinguish this feeling and labeled it as care, almost two years ago he had to re-evaluate and labeled it as love.
But two years ago was too late, and now, two years later, he was afraid it wasn't late enough.
Surely enough, Kyuhyun was the one who found Sungmin sprawled on the ground of a small park in the center of the city. He immediately dashed to the older mans side and held him in his arms, unable to find words for his happiness and relief.
Sungmin was just about to shove Kyuhyun away, hard, when the familiar scent sank in again. “Kyuhyun?” He whispered, his voice raspy and dry, “how did you find me?”
There was no reply; Kyuhyun had nothing to say.
-
Later that evening Kyuhyun forced his way into Sungmin's apartment and tended to all of his hyung's needs, just like when they were children. After witnessing Kyuhyun's familiarity of the duties, Eunhyuk, Donghae and Shindong felt it was proper to allow the two their own time and space.
“You guys don't have to leave,” Kyuhyun said stoically as he showed them to the door, “Sungmin would feel better if you guys stayed.”
Donghae shook his head, patting Kyuhyun on the shoulder. “No, he wouldn't.”
There was nothing left to be said; the three made their exit.
Kyuhyun closed the door behind the boys and turned to face Sungmin, who was sitting idly on the couch in the living room. Kyuhyun stalked his way to the kitchen and prepared a nice cup of hot chocolate, the drink Sungmin always needed when he wasn't in a good mood as a child.
“Mind telling me what happened?” Kyuhyun prompted, sitting down beside the older man and placing the cup in his hands.
Sungmin forced a smile, shaking his head as he stared ahead at nothing, at darkness. “Had a break up,” Sungmin laughed awkwardly, “it happens, I guess.”
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked, his tone clearly annoyed.
“I-I don't know,” Sungmin stuttered, swallowing his tears. It wasn't so much the fact that Yesung had broken up with him that shook him so much, it was that Kyuhyun had come back after walking out of his life for a year; Kyuhyun came back with doubled the care. “He said something about it being better for the both of us, that we needed to think some things over.”
Kyuhyun forced his gaze away, noticing how his eyes wandered from Sungmin's smooth cheeks to his bare neck and his pale shoulders. This isn't healthy, he reminded himself, this isn't the right time to be thinking such things.
“Were you relieved?” Kyuhyun blurted out. He immediately wished he could swallow his words, slightly glad that Sungmin couldn't see the regret in his eyes.
Sungmin sank into his seat, holding the cup of hot chocolate to his chest. “All I can say is I think,” he started before pausing to take a deep breath, “I think I understand why.”
-
On the day of Sungmin's graduation, Kyuhyun pulled Sungmin aside and away from the crowd. “I want you to move in with me,” Kyuhyun stated firmly, holding on to Sungmin's hand.
Sungmin felt around himself, wanting to set his diploma and other items down to speak to Kyuhyun properly. Kyuhyun took the things out of Sungmin's hand and held them for him. “Why?” Sungmin asked, a bit astounded.
“It's been almost seven months since you've broken up with Yesung,” Kyuhyun bit his bottom lip nervously, afraid of rejection, “clearly, you two aren't getting back together.”
“And?” Sungmin searched around with his hands for something to lean against, exhausted from the evenings events.
Kyuhyun pulled him in and held him securely, like a giant wall for Sungmin to lean on. “Well, we couldn't live together before because there was always the chance that you two would patch things up and it just wouldn't be convenient, misunderstandings and all. Now that you two aren't possible anymore, it would be a lot easier if we just moved in together.”
“I don't see the need-”
Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Sungmin's shoulder, pressing the older man hard against himself. “Can't we go back to the days we used to get along really well? The days when we spent every day, every moment, every second in each others company? The days we never split, we laughed and cried together, can't we go back to the days when we were one?”
“Kyu-” Sungmin started to reply but was interrupted by the younger man.
“I'm not taking no for an answer, Min,” Kyuhyun interjected, hugging Sungmin possessively, “I've waited four years for this.”
Sungmin laughed, burying his face into Kyuhyun's chest. “That's nothing,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Kyuhyun's torso, “I've waited all my life for this.”
Kyuhyun grinned, a smile from the bottom of his heart, and pulled Sungmin away, lowering his lips to the older mans plump, soft ones. It was bliss, the feeling of his lips against Sungmin's.
How had he not known, all those years before, what they felt for each other?
How did Kyuhyun not know that this was what he wanted all his life - to hold Sungmin in his arms and never let him go?
Sungmin's life was now complete. He had found his life vest, and now he had his blind crane. There was nothing more Sungmin needed, he was neither helpless or blind; he was just Sungmin now, the happy and careless Sungmin.
-
Kyuhyun was always wary when Yesung stopped by every now and then to visit, even after he formally introduced everyone to his new boyfriend Ryeowook a year later. He also didn't feel entirely safe leaving Sungmin in Eunhyuk, Donghae and Shindong's care, afraid that with one swift sweep they would take Sungmin from him.
Perhaps it was just the paranoia of insecurity left behind after having watched Sungmin leave him more than once, without doing anything about it.
“I'm not going anywhere, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin said to him one day, “where can a blind man go without his crane?”
Kyuhyun pouted, shoving their dinner plates into the sink. “You left me for a good two years, and we were hardly together throughout high school,” Kyuhyun mumbled moodily.
Sungmin shook his head with a small laugh. “Didn't you know?” he asked, bending over the counter on the other side of the counter, “I was lost without you.”
Kyuhyun looked up at Sungmin, the light in his eyes nearly blinding him. “How so?”
Sungmin plopped back into his seat. “Just because I lived doesn't mean I lived happily,” Sungmin puffed his cheeks, “I held on to your words, Kyu. Your words were what saved me, they kept me going through the years.”
“What words?” Kyuhyun asked, reminiscing on their days as children.
Sungmin grinned. “You told me I was special to you.”
“You are,” Kyuhyun affirmed.
The footsteps were barely audible to human ears, but Sungmin's hearing was more sensitive than any of his other senses. Kyuhyun's arms wrapped around Sungmin's waist, pulling Sungmin into the warmth of his embrace like he did so often.
Sungmin nuzzled into the nape of Kyuhyun's neck, closing his eyes.
“And so are you,” Sungmin whispered wearily, “Only when I'm with you can I close my eyes and actually see the difference between darkness and blindness.”
“Huh?” Kyuhyun tilted his head so he could see Sungmin's face.
Sungmin laughed. “No matter when or where, if I'm not with you, all I see is darkness. But when I'm with you, Kyu, I know there's light. When I'm with you, I know there's more to this world than just never ending blackness; I know I'm just blind.”
“Min-”
“And I don't hate it,” Sungmin interrupted, “because then, I think, you see all of it for me. The little things in life, the larger things in life, bright things, dim things, cute things, ugly things, you always take a good second look for me, don't you?”
Kyuhyun smiled, the ends of his lips willing him to laugh. “No,” Kyuhyun shook his head playfully, “I don't look at anything else in this world.”
Sungmin furrowed his brows. “Aside from?”
“You,” Kyuhyun stated, as if it were the dumbest question he's ever heard. “That's all I need to see; you are everything, Min. In my world, you are my everything. The light or the darkness, none of that matters if you're with me.”
Sungmin didn't argue, he was too tired to argue anymore. He simply nodded sleepily and held Kyuhyun tighter, more possessively than before.
After so many years, Sungmin had finally found it; it had been with him all along. This, this was true happiness.
-
A/N: A one-shot inspired by none other than kendayawind (although I didn't notice it was inspired by her until halfway into my writing). I'm too tired to edit it... and I probably won't be in the mood to, or have the time to, later on... so I'm just gonna post it as it is. lol.
Hope you like it!