fuck it. i am going to write whatever the fuck i want, WITH FUCKING NAMES. as you might be able to tell, i am pretty pissed off right now. okay mike, you are getting what you wanted. the stupid fucking bitch who is TRYING to screw me over, (and failing miserably) is no one other than the lovely, lovely, Miss Summer- i dont have a life so i have ( Read more... )

Life is just a bit frustrating at the moment. I am feeling very disoriented and confused. there is SO much fucking drama at school. I hate it. People that i really care about are going behind my back and trying to screw me over. it sucks. I know that i am probably going to regret this day a lot. but it's too late to take back anything now.

why is it that i have such a hard time letting go of things? I am not really sure of what the big deal is, but for some reason i just can't deal with any kind of loss. you would think that after 8 years of physiological treatment and 12 different therapists that i would have found a solution. But nope. no solution. I am emotionally exhausted. ( Read more... )

I am waiting for my boobs to dry (don't even ask). So i thought that i would update. Patrina just left. She made my hair look like Jessica Simpson's. My hair is so big and curly. yay. It has so much hair spray in it that if some one lights a match anywhere within 100 feet of my head, my hair will combust in to one big ball of fire. Ha. that ( Read more... )

oh wow. so many emotions...so little time. Well... i just talked to spencer. I'm going to talk to him again later tonight. mixed emotions on that.... it makes me really depressed to talk to him, but at the same time it makes me happy to hear that he is doing well. I havent talked to him since march. I thought that it would be really weird ( Read more... )

I have not updated in a while. I guess i havent really had anything to say. I am feeling a little better this week. not perfect, but better. I am just starting to give up on everything. It is so much better than giving up and not caring, than striving and striving and never ever getting anywhere. It is better to be emotionally numb. And that ( Read more... )

fucking, fucking bitch... i don't think that i have ever cried this much... EVER. It has been non-stop for three days. It isn't going to stop for awhile, either. tomorrow is steve's last day. We had a council during 6th...we cried. a few of us stayed after school...and cried. I went to rehab...cried some more...(in front of about 27 people) ( Read more... )

Today was so.... arg.... FUCKED UP... I hardly went to any of my classes. Courtney and I were crying together all day. I am going to miss steve so much. We all are. He IS my dad. I have been crying non-stop for the past 24 hours. Courtney and i ditched chemistry to go be with steve and summer, lauri, alana, and jon. We went off campus... ( Read more... )

some one just fucking shoot me.

why can't i stop crying? it seems that all i ever do is cry. Today was so horrible. It started off bad and then got even worse. Steve pulled me out of class today and said "I have some news". All i could think to say was "You're leaving"... he shook his head yes and proceeded to tell me about the job that he was offered at CSUN. Steve is ( Read more... )