Don't Blink - 17/?
Title: Don't Blink - 17/?
Characters: Rose, Ten
Summary: AU. What if Rose had stayed through Doomsday and was the one to end up in 1969 with the Doctor? How would they get back to their proper time? Would they want to?
Rating: PG
Beta: nattieb
~ One~ Two~ Three~ Four~ Five~ Six~ Seven~ Eight~ Nine~ Ten
~ Eleven~ Twelve~ Thirteen~ Fourteen~ Fifteen~ Sixteen~
They spent the afternoon with Kathy and Ben, at Kathy’s insistence.
“It’s a lovely Saturday,” she said, “and it’s a shame for you to waste the entire day traveling.”
Rose looked at the Doctor, and the Doctor looked at Rose, and Kathy took their hesitation for assent.
“We’ll have tea,” she decided, and left them alone to go put the kettle on.
“She’s good,” the Doctor said admiringly. “Saw us take a moment to think and swept right in.”
Rose sat along the edge of her seat. “We’re having tea with Kathy.”
The Doctor grinned at her. “More than you bargained for?”
“No! Well, yeah. I guess I hadn’t thought beyond getting here and seeing her.” Rose’s voice trailed off as she looked around the room. Now that her nervousness over seeing Kathy had worn off, she was able to take in the details of the room that she hadn’t noticed before.
The Doctor followed her gaze, noting the lace curtains and family photographs hanging on the walls.
“Just like a granny’s house, is it?” He leaned back along the sofa, ankle propped on his opposite knee and looking for all the world like he planned to stay there indefinitely. Rose supposed that one of the benefits of traveling through time and space was that you came to feel comfortable wherever you were.
An ego the size of a mid-size planet didn’t hurt, either.
“It is, kind of. More lacy than my gran’s house, though.” Rose touched a doily that graced the arm of the sofa. “What is it about doilies? Even those plastic Barbie dolls back at the flat - the ones that were stuck in rolls of toilet paper - they had those weird lacy things for skirts.”
“Well, something has to cover the paper.”
Rose stared at him. “You know I think they’re creepy, right?”
“Yes, I do. Although next time you decide to hide a small army of them, I do wish you’d warn me first. They’re not the kind of thing you want to come across unexpectedly.”
Rose grinned. “Serves you right. What were you poking around for, anyway?
“Parts for stuff.” The Doctor said this with an air of perfect truth, and Rose believed him, because he wasn’t they type to rummage through her things when she wasn’t home. “And this room is much nicer than anything back in the flat, eh?” He glanced at the lace Rose was worrying between her fingers. “Some people think they’re nice. A remnant of a more genteel time. The Victorians used to cover everything in doilies! If not a doily, than a cloth. They thought it was an expression of wealth. Myself, I like a good, clean surface.” The Doctor flicked a finger over the doily closest to him. “But I have observed that females of most species tend to have a desire to make whatever they own even more attractive by the application of lace, cloths, or paint. Incidentally,” he added, fixing Rose with a stern look, “the Victorians, contrary to popular misconception, did not cover up the legs of their tables or pianos.”
Rose stared. “Why would they have wanted to?”
“Legs, Rose. An unpleasant, unsavory part of the body to mention in polite company. It brings all sorts of naught thought into one’s head.”
Rose had a sudden flash of such a naughty thought. As it involved her, and the Doctor, she firmly tamped it down. “You’re having me on.”
“It’s not true, of course. For some reason, though, people of later generations came to be convinced that the Victorians were that prudish.”
Rose thought for a moment. “Having met Queen Victoria, I can’t say I blame them.”
“No. Not one for much laughter, was she? Not after she lost her husband.”
“I have my doubts about whether she was all fun and games before that.”
“Here we go!” Kathy came in bearing a tray so large that the Doctor jumped up to take it from her.
“Let me help you with that.”
She laughed at him but allowed him to take the tray. “Bless you, I may be old but I can still carry a tea tray!”
He set the tray down on the table. “Sorry. You’d think women’s lib would have taught me to let things alone.”
“Well, I’m not saying a girl doesn’t like to be treated like a lady sometimes.” Kathy winked at Rose. “Isn’t that right?”
Rose felt a slight blush on her cheeks but nodded. “It’s nice, sometimes.”
“Ben will be along shortly.” Kathy poured out tea into small china cups. “He’s getting the girls their lunch. They were out late today at the market, looking for just the right ingredients for Sunday dinner.” She glanced conspiratorially at Rose. “One of the benefits of going back in time is that you can train your husband to cook and clean once in a while. I wasn’t having an old-fashioned man who expected me to do all the housework!”
Rose helped herself to a small cake. “You’ll have to tell me your secret. The Doctor never cleans up.”
The Doctor, busy munching, shot Rose a reproachful look.
“What?” she asked. “You don’t. Leaves his cereal bowl in the sink all the time,” she said to Kathy.
“You have to start right at the beginning,” Kathy replied. “Once they get settled into their ways, it’s impossible to get them to change. It helps when you get married young, like I did.”
Rose hid a smirk behind her napkin. “Then I’m way too late.” She glanced at the Doctor, who frowned forbiddingly at her.
“Oh, you’re not newlyweds, then?”
The Doctor stopped in mid-chew to gaze at Kathy in mystification. “Why-”
“No, I just meant he’s not as young as he looks.” Rose gave the Doctor with a kindly glance, somehow managing to imply that he was almost ready for retirement.
“Well, sometimes an older man can be nice, too,” Kathy admitted. “I had my fair share of dates, back in London.” She glanced behind her, making sure Ben was still in the kitchen. “Not that Ben needs to know.
“Have another biscuit,” she urged the Doctor, putting several on his plate. “Are you really a time traveller?”
He had a biscuit in his mouth but managed to swallow it before answering.
“I am. The Angels took my ship and I need to get it back, but that’s what we do.” He nodded at Rose. “We travel around, having adventures, righting wrongs, doing good deeds.”
“You sound like super heroes.” Kathy tilted an eyebrow at them.
“Well, nothing so glamorous,” the Doctor started, but then Ben came in.
“Tea! Lovely!” Ben sat down beside Kathy, accepting the cup of tea that she handed him. He carefully added some milk and stirred, eyeing the Doctor the whole time. As he sipped the tea he transferred his gaze to Rose.
“You’re friends of Kathy’s,” he stated.
“Er, yes.” The Doctor set his plate down. “Well, friends of a friend.”
“In London,” Rose added.
“Never made it to London.” Ben stated this as a simple fact, not a complaint or a boast. “Always imagined it to be a wild place, from what Kathy tells me.”
“It, er, can be.” The Doctor helped himself to another handful of biscuits.
“So who is this friend of a friend?”
“You remember my best friend, Sally?”
“Of course. You’ve talked about her for fifty years.”
“Well, these are some young friends of hers.”
“How is she?” Ben demanded. “Kathy doesn’t hear much from her these days. I suppose traveling the world doesn’t leave much time for letter writing.”
Rose looked at Kathy in time to see a look of guilt cross her face. Had Kathy been faking correspondence all these years?
“She is very busy,” Rose said hastily. “But when she found out we’d be in town she insisted that we drop in and see Kathy.”
Ben grunted. “Nice of her to do that much.”
The little girls began arguing in the kitchen. Ben laid a hand on Kathy’s shoulder when she would have gotten up.
“Stay and visit,” he told her. “I’ll handle the girls.”
“You never told him?” the Doctor demanded as soon as Ben was gone.
Kathy shook her head. “Too hard to do.”
“And Sally’s letters?” Rose asked.
“I would pretend. Or tell him that one had come. He never asked to see a letter. I made her a correspondent for a paper in London. I hated lying to him, but really, what else could I do?”
After tea Ben drove them back to the train station.
“Goodbye!” Rose shook his hand. “It was very nice to meet you.”
“You too. Take care on the trip back!”
They watched the car pull away.
“He seems like a nice man,” Rose observed. “I can see why she fell in love with him.”
“Salt of the earth.”
“Do you think he would care if he knew the truth?”
The Doctor shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Would you care?”
He laughed and took her hand. “Rose Tyler, I’m the one who usually asks a person if they have a problem with time travel.”
The ride home was no more eventful than the ride there. Rose, tired of reading her magazines, leaned against the Doctor, trying not to yawn. The evening was cooler, and she shivered a bit. The Doctor took off his coat and covered her lap with it.
She smiled and pulled it up to her chin. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” He put his arm back around her, content to sit like that all the way back to London. “Are you happy we came?”
Rose considered. “Yeah, I am. We know that she’s all right, and that she’s happy.”
“Do you consider it a good omen for us?” he asked lightly.
“I do.”
He brushed her hair with his lips, so lightly she didn’t feel it.
“Me, too.”
When they got home the Doctor insisted she go right to bed. He planned to stay up and look over his plans for a device he hoped to build. Rose was so tired, and so eager to take off her dress and shoes, that she said good night without another word and disappeared.
That night she dreamed of her mother. Jackie was on the other side of that vast white wall at Torchwood, and Rose couldn’t reach her. No matter how hard she pounded on the wall, Jackie couldn’t hear her.
“Mum! Can you hear me?”
“Rose!” It was Jackie’s voice, coming from the other side. “Push, Rose! Push!”
Rose pushed and pushed and thought the wall moved. She kept pushing.
“Come on, Rose!” Jackie called. “I miss you! Oh, sweetheart, I miss you!”
“I love you, Mum! Just wait.”
“Too late,” said Mickey’s voice, and the wall vanished, leaving Rose alone.
She woke up crying. “Come back! Come back!”
The Doctor was beside her before she’d fully woken up.
“Rose! Rose, what is it?”
It took a moment for his voice to get through to her. Caught up in that terrible dream, all Rose could see was Torchwood. When she came to her senses, she took a deep, gasping breath.
“Rose?” The Doctor spoke more urgently. “Can you hear me?”
She looked at him through blurry eyes. “My mum.”
“Your mum,” he repeated. “Are you all right?”
She wiped at her face. “I was dreaming. Just a dream. My mum was there, and I couldn’t get to her. And then she vanished.” She tried to control her voice but it wavered terribly.
The Doctor sighed. He was sitting beside her on the bed, and he kicked off his trainers.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s just all so hard. I can’t see her again, and then before I accepted that we were sent back here, and now everything is a mess.” The tears came faster and she didn’t try to stop them this time.
He let go of her long enough to unbutton his jacket. It joined the trainers on the floor.
“It’s not a mess, Rose. We’ll work it out. I promise.” He loosened his tie, put his arm around her, and gently lowered her back onto the bed. “Get some sleep.”
“It was just a dream, right?” She peered at him anxiously in the dark. “I know you helped me get through to Mum before, when we guided her to Norway...could that have been her?”
He wanted to comfort her but he couldn’t lie. “No. I was able to help you channel your thoughts to her because the breach was still open a small bit. There’s no way Jackie could have reached you. Humans just don’t have that ability.”
She sighed. “No. I didn’t think it was real.”
“Why don’t you get some sleep now?”
“Kathy didn’t have much family to worry about.” Rose sat up, disinclined to do what he wanted. “It’s one thing if your parents are dead. Mine are living in another universe.”
“Come on.” He pushed her back. “Go back to sleep. Things will be better in the morning.”
“They won’t be,” she said, sounding like a pouting child.
He smiled gently and kissed her forehead. “I promise you, there’s nothing so bad that won’t look better in the morning.”
She supposed they might be, but she didn’t believe him. Still, she settled back in against her pillow. The Doctor pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and leaned the spare pillow against the headboard. This caught Rose’s attention and she rolled over to peer at him in the dark room.
“What are you doing? Are you staying here?”
“Just until you fall asleep,” he assured her. “If that’s all right. I don’t want you to have another bad dream.”
She smiled faintly. “Thanks. Good night.”
“Good night.”
After a few minutes he could tell she was falling asleep, but she was moving restlessly. He reached over and took her hand. She stilled as he touched her fingers, and soon was sound asleep.
He lay there for a long time afterwards, staring up at the ceiling. He was the reason she cried for her mother. No matter how much she told him she was happy where she was, the truth was that Jackie was in one universe and Rose was in another, and they would never see each other again. How could he be easy with that on his conscience?
He could only be grateful that the wall had closed before Rose could have fallen into the Void. He would not have been able to survive that. He’d been prepared to see her in the other universe - indeed, he had even tried to send her there without so much as a handshake goodbye - but to know that Rose Tyler was trapped in the Void, in the midst of darkness and nothingness...no, he would not live beyond that. He would not have wanted to go on.
He rarely slept. When he would have gotten up, left Rose alone to sleep, she made a protesting noise in her sleep and turned towards him. He gave up and settled back down, watching her sleep in the dim light. After a while the headboard became too uncomfortable to lean against. He gave up and slid down on the bed until he was lying flat. Turning, he put his arm around Rose.
“Hello,” she murmured.
“Hello,” he whispered back. “You okay?”
She smiled sleepily. “Now I am.” In her sleepy state she cuddled up next to him, resting her head on his chest. The Doctor’s heartbeats increased at an alarming pace, but she only wriggled in more closely before falling asleep again.
He was undoubtedly a fool. An idiot. He was tormenting himself for no reason. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair, and didn’t care.
Sunday was a better day. The Doctor took Rose through London, exploring places they had never been to before. Rose was sorry to see the weekend end. It was almost like traveling in the TARDIS. New places to explore, new adventures to have, enjoying each other’s company.
“The zoo’s much better now that we don’t have to give dogs and cats to feed the lions,” Rose decided as they ate sandwiches in the kitchen late Sunday night.
“It all depends on your point of view, I guess,” the Doctor allowed. “Throwing slabs of meat doesn’t have the same appeal, though.”
Rose shook her head. “I’ll take it, thanks.”
“Will you be all right tonight?” he asked diffidently. She’d slept soundly enough the night before, and there had been no more bad dreams.
“Of course.” She spoke lightly, and meant it. “It takes more than a bad dream to make me afraid of the dark. Good night.”
“Good night.” After she was gone he left the mess in the kitchen and moved to his new workstation in the living room. His current project was in the beginning stages, and he had some work to do.
Some noises from the bedroom, after he had supposed she had fallen asleep, drew him to the room. She was crying softly, and he hurried to the bed.
“Rose?”
“Sorry.” She gulped quickly. “Didn’t mean to bother you.”
“Now, how could you bother me?” he wanted to know. He sat on the edge of the bed. “You all right?”
“No,” she said crossly. “I’m not. I keep dreaming of my mum. That makes me not all right.”
“I’ll stay with you,” he offered. “Just for a bit. If that’ll help,” he added quickly.
She nodded without looking at him. “It would.”
He crawled in beside her, lying on top of the blankets.
“It’s normal to miss her,” he said quietly. “I know that she was all you had. I...I understand.”
“When you put that yellow button over my head and let Pete take me back to his world, I didn’t even have to think.” Rose spoke softly in the dark room, grateful that he couldn’t see her face. “I just came right back to you. I knew I wouldn’t see Mum again and I didn’t care. Maybe I didn’t understand it completely, but I still would choose you over that.”
He was touched, and tried to hide it with his words. “I’m a poor substitute for your family, Rose. But I will get you back to your proper time.”
“Life as usual, on the TARDIS?”
“Absolutely.”
“Running, our lives in peril, danger at every turn?”
“Definitely.”
She smiled and closed her eyes, ready to go back to sleep. “I can’t wait.”
Eighteen
Characters: Rose, Ten
Summary: AU. What if Rose had stayed through Doomsday and was the one to end up in 1969 with the Doctor? How would they get back to their proper time? Would they want to?
Rating: PG
Beta: nattieb
~ One~ Two~ Three~ Four~ Five~ Six~ Seven~ Eight~ Nine~ Ten
~ Eleven~ Twelve~ Thirteen~ Fourteen~ Fifteen~ Sixteen~
They spent the afternoon with Kathy and Ben, at Kathy’s insistence.
“It’s a lovely Saturday,” she said, “and it’s a shame for you to waste the entire day traveling.”
Rose looked at the Doctor, and the Doctor looked at Rose, and Kathy took their hesitation for assent.
“We’ll have tea,” she decided, and left them alone to go put the kettle on.
“She’s good,” the Doctor said admiringly. “Saw us take a moment to think and swept right in.”
Rose sat along the edge of her seat. “We’re having tea with Kathy.”
The Doctor grinned at her. “More than you bargained for?”
“No! Well, yeah. I guess I hadn’t thought beyond getting here and seeing her.” Rose’s voice trailed off as she looked around the room. Now that her nervousness over seeing Kathy had worn off, she was able to take in the details of the room that she hadn’t noticed before.
The Doctor followed her gaze, noting the lace curtains and family photographs hanging on the walls.
“Just like a granny’s house, is it?” He leaned back along the sofa, ankle propped on his opposite knee and looking for all the world like he planned to stay there indefinitely. Rose supposed that one of the benefits of traveling through time and space was that you came to feel comfortable wherever you were.
An ego the size of a mid-size planet didn’t hurt, either.
“It is, kind of. More lacy than my gran’s house, though.” Rose touched a doily that graced the arm of the sofa. “What is it about doilies? Even those plastic Barbie dolls back at the flat - the ones that were stuck in rolls of toilet paper - they had those weird lacy things for skirts.”
“Well, something has to cover the paper.”
Rose stared at him. “You know I think they’re creepy, right?”
“Yes, I do. Although next time you decide to hide a small army of them, I do wish you’d warn me first. They’re not the kind of thing you want to come across unexpectedly.”
Rose grinned. “Serves you right. What were you poking around for, anyway?
“Parts for stuff.” The Doctor said this with an air of perfect truth, and Rose believed him, because he wasn’t they type to rummage through her things when she wasn’t home. “And this room is much nicer than anything back in the flat, eh?” He glanced at the lace Rose was worrying between her fingers. “Some people think they’re nice. A remnant of a more genteel time. The Victorians used to cover everything in doilies! If not a doily, than a cloth. They thought it was an expression of wealth. Myself, I like a good, clean surface.” The Doctor flicked a finger over the doily closest to him. “But I have observed that females of most species tend to have a desire to make whatever they own even more attractive by the application of lace, cloths, or paint. Incidentally,” he added, fixing Rose with a stern look, “the Victorians, contrary to popular misconception, did not cover up the legs of their tables or pianos.”
Rose stared. “Why would they have wanted to?”
“Legs, Rose. An unpleasant, unsavory part of the body to mention in polite company. It brings all sorts of naught thought into one’s head.”
Rose had a sudden flash of such a naughty thought. As it involved her, and the Doctor, she firmly tamped it down. “You’re having me on.”
“It’s not true, of course. For some reason, though, people of later generations came to be convinced that the Victorians were that prudish.”
Rose thought for a moment. “Having met Queen Victoria, I can’t say I blame them.”
“No. Not one for much laughter, was she? Not after she lost her husband.”
“I have my doubts about whether she was all fun and games before that.”
“Here we go!” Kathy came in bearing a tray so large that the Doctor jumped up to take it from her.
“Let me help you with that.”
She laughed at him but allowed him to take the tray. “Bless you, I may be old but I can still carry a tea tray!”
He set the tray down on the table. “Sorry. You’d think women’s lib would have taught me to let things alone.”
“Well, I’m not saying a girl doesn’t like to be treated like a lady sometimes.” Kathy winked at Rose. “Isn’t that right?”
Rose felt a slight blush on her cheeks but nodded. “It’s nice, sometimes.”
“Ben will be along shortly.” Kathy poured out tea into small china cups. “He’s getting the girls their lunch. They were out late today at the market, looking for just the right ingredients for Sunday dinner.” She glanced conspiratorially at Rose. “One of the benefits of going back in time is that you can train your husband to cook and clean once in a while. I wasn’t having an old-fashioned man who expected me to do all the housework!”
Rose helped herself to a small cake. “You’ll have to tell me your secret. The Doctor never cleans up.”
The Doctor, busy munching, shot Rose a reproachful look.
“What?” she asked. “You don’t. Leaves his cereal bowl in the sink all the time,” she said to Kathy.
“You have to start right at the beginning,” Kathy replied. “Once they get settled into their ways, it’s impossible to get them to change. It helps when you get married young, like I did.”
Rose hid a smirk behind her napkin. “Then I’m way too late.” She glanced at the Doctor, who frowned forbiddingly at her.
“Oh, you’re not newlyweds, then?”
The Doctor stopped in mid-chew to gaze at Kathy in mystification. “Why-”
“No, I just meant he’s not as young as he looks.” Rose gave the Doctor with a kindly glance, somehow managing to imply that he was almost ready for retirement.
“Well, sometimes an older man can be nice, too,” Kathy admitted. “I had my fair share of dates, back in London.” She glanced behind her, making sure Ben was still in the kitchen. “Not that Ben needs to know.
“Have another biscuit,” she urged the Doctor, putting several on his plate. “Are you really a time traveller?”
He had a biscuit in his mouth but managed to swallow it before answering.
“I am. The Angels took my ship and I need to get it back, but that’s what we do.” He nodded at Rose. “We travel around, having adventures, righting wrongs, doing good deeds.”
“You sound like super heroes.” Kathy tilted an eyebrow at them.
“Well, nothing so glamorous,” the Doctor started, but then Ben came in.
“Tea! Lovely!” Ben sat down beside Kathy, accepting the cup of tea that she handed him. He carefully added some milk and stirred, eyeing the Doctor the whole time. As he sipped the tea he transferred his gaze to Rose.
“You’re friends of Kathy’s,” he stated.
“Er, yes.” The Doctor set his plate down. “Well, friends of a friend.”
“In London,” Rose added.
“Never made it to London.” Ben stated this as a simple fact, not a complaint or a boast. “Always imagined it to be a wild place, from what Kathy tells me.”
“It, er, can be.” The Doctor helped himself to another handful of biscuits.
“So who is this friend of a friend?”
“You remember my best friend, Sally?”
“Of course. You’ve talked about her for fifty years.”
“Well, these are some young friends of hers.”
“How is she?” Ben demanded. “Kathy doesn’t hear much from her these days. I suppose traveling the world doesn’t leave much time for letter writing.”
Rose looked at Kathy in time to see a look of guilt cross her face. Had Kathy been faking correspondence all these years?
“She is very busy,” Rose said hastily. “But when she found out we’d be in town she insisted that we drop in and see Kathy.”
Ben grunted. “Nice of her to do that much.”
The little girls began arguing in the kitchen. Ben laid a hand on Kathy’s shoulder when she would have gotten up.
“Stay and visit,” he told her. “I’ll handle the girls.”
“You never told him?” the Doctor demanded as soon as Ben was gone.
Kathy shook her head. “Too hard to do.”
“And Sally’s letters?” Rose asked.
“I would pretend. Or tell him that one had come. He never asked to see a letter. I made her a correspondent for a paper in London. I hated lying to him, but really, what else could I do?”
After tea Ben drove them back to the train station.
“Goodbye!” Rose shook his hand. “It was very nice to meet you.”
“You too. Take care on the trip back!”
They watched the car pull away.
“He seems like a nice man,” Rose observed. “I can see why she fell in love with him.”
“Salt of the earth.”
“Do you think he would care if he knew the truth?”
The Doctor shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Would you care?”
He laughed and took her hand. “Rose Tyler, I’m the one who usually asks a person if they have a problem with time travel.”
The ride home was no more eventful than the ride there. Rose, tired of reading her magazines, leaned against the Doctor, trying not to yawn. The evening was cooler, and she shivered a bit. The Doctor took off his coat and covered her lap with it.
She smiled and pulled it up to her chin. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” He put his arm back around her, content to sit like that all the way back to London. “Are you happy we came?”
Rose considered. “Yeah, I am. We know that she’s all right, and that she’s happy.”
“Do you consider it a good omen for us?” he asked lightly.
“I do.”
He brushed her hair with his lips, so lightly she didn’t feel it.
“Me, too.”
When they got home the Doctor insisted she go right to bed. He planned to stay up and look over his plans for a device he hoped to build. Rose was so tired, and so eager to take off her dress and shoes, that she said good night without another word and disappeared.
That night she dreamed of her mother. Jackie was on the other side of that vast white wall at Torchwood, and Rose couldn’t reach her. No matter how hard she pounded on the wall, Jackie couldn’t hear her.
“Mum! Can you hear me?”
“Rose!” It was Jackie’s voice, coming from the other side. “Push, Rose! Push!”
Rose pushed and pushed and thought the wall moved. She kept pushing.
“Come on, Rose!” Jackie called. “I miss you! Oh, sweetheart, I miss you!”
“I love you, Mum! Just wait.”
“Too late,” said Mickey’s voice, and the wall vanished, leaving Rose alone.
She woke up crying. “Come back! Come back!”
The Doctor was beside her before she’d fully woken up.
“Rose! Rose, what is it?”
It took a moment for his voice to get through to her. Caught up in that terrible dream, all Rose could see was Torchwood. When she came to her senses, she took a deep, gasping breath.
“Rose?” The Doctor spoke more urgently. “Can you hear me?”
She looked at him through blurry eyes. “My mum.”
“Your mum,” he repeated. “Are you all right?”
She wiped at her face. “I was dreaming. Just a dream. My mum was there, and I couldn’t get to her. And then she vanished.” She tried to control her voice but it wavered terribly.
The Doctor sighed. He was sitting beside her on the bed, and he kicked off his trainers.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s just all so hard. I can’t see her again, and then before I accepted that we were sent back here, and now everything is a mess.” The tears came faster and she didn’t try to stop them this time.
He let go of her long enough to unbutton his jacket. It joined the trainers on the floor.
“It’s not a mess, Rose. We’ll work it out. I promise.” He loosened his tie, put his arm around her, and gently lowered her back onto the bed. “Get some sleep.”
“It was just a dream, right?” She peered at him anxiously in the dark. “I know you helped me get through to Mum before, when we guided her to Norway...could that have been her?”
He wanted to comfort her but he couldn’t lie. “No. I was able to help you channel your thoughts to her because the breach was still open a small bit. There’s no way Jackie could have reached you. Humans just don’t have that ability.”
She sighed. “No. I didn’t think it was real.”
“Why don’t you get some sleep now?”
“Kathy didn’t have much family to worry about.” Rose sat up, disinclined to do what he wanted. “It’s one thing if your parents are dead. Mine are living in another universe.”
“Come on.” He pushed her back. “Go back to sleep. Things will be better in the morning.”
“They won’t be,” she said, sounding like a pouting child.
He smiled gently and kissed her forehead. “I promise you, there’s nothing so bad that won’t look better in the morning.”
She supposed they might be, but she didn’t believe him. Still, she settled back in against her pillow. The Doctor pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and leaned the spare pillow against the headboard. This caught Rose’s attention and she rolled over to peer at him in the dark room.
“What are you doing? Are you staying here?”
“Just until you fall asleep,” he assured her. “If that’s all right. I don’t want you to have another bad dream.”
She smiled faintly. “Thanks. Good night.”
“Good night.”
After a few minutes he could tell she was falling asleep, but she was moving restlessly. He reached over and took her hand. She stilled as he touched her fingers, and soon was sound asleep.
He lay there for a long time afterwards, staring up at the ceiling. He was the reason she cried for her mother. No matter how much she told him she was happy where she was, the truth was that Jackie was in one universe and Rose was in another, and they would never see each other again. How could he be easy with that on his conscience?
He could only be grateful that the wall had closed before Rose could have fallen into the Void. He would not have been able to survive that. He’d been prepared to see her in the other universe - indeed, he had even tried to send her there without so much as a handshake goodbye - but to know that Rose Tyler was trapped in the Void, in the midst of darkness and nothingness...no, he would not live beyond that. He would not have wanted to go on.
He rarely slept. When he would have gotten up, left Rose alone to sleep, she made a protesting noise in her sleep and turned towards him. He gave up and settled back down, watching her sleep in the dim light. After a while the headboard became too uncomfortable to lean against. He gave up and slid down on the bed until he was lying flat. Turning, he put his arm around Rose.
“Hello,” she murmured.
“Hello,” he whispered back. “You okay?”
She smiled sleepily. “Now I am.” In her sleepy state she cuddled up next to him, resting her head on his chest. The Doctor’s heartbeats increased at an alarming pace, but she only wriggled in more closely before falling asleep again.
He was undoubtedly a fool. An idiot. He was tormenting himself for no reason. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair, and didn’t care.
Sunday was a better day. The Doctor took Rose through London, exploring places they had never been to before. Rose was sorry to see the weekend end. It was almost like traveling in the TARDIS. New places to explore, new adventures to have, enjoying each other’s company.
“The zoo’s much better now that we don’t have to give dogs and cats to feed the lions,” Rose decided as they ate sandwiches in the kitchen late Sunday night.
“It all depends on your point of view, I guess,” the Doctor allowed. “Throwing slabs of meat doesn’t have the same appeal, though.”
Rose shook her head. “I’ll take it, thanks.”
“Will you be all right tonight?” he asked diffidently. She’d slept soundly enough the night before, and there had been no more bad dreams.
“Of course.” She spoke lightly, and meant it. “It takes more than a bad dream to make me afraid of the dark. Good night.”
“Good night.” After she was gone he left the mess in the kitchen and moved to his new workstation in the living room. His current project was in the beginning stages, and he had some work to do.
Some noises from the bedroom, after he had supposed she had fallen asleep, drew him to the room. She was crying softly, and he hurried to the bed.
“Rose?”
“Sorry.” She gulped quickly. “Didn’t mean to bother you.”
“Now, how could you bother me?” he wanted to know. He sat on the edge of the bed. “You all right?”
“No,” she said crossly. “I’m not. I keep dreaming of my mum. That makes me not all right.”
“I’ll stay with you,” he offered. “Just for a bit. If that’ll help,” he added quickly.
She nodded without looking at him. “It would.”
He crawled in beside her, lying on top of the blankets.
“It’s normal to miss her,” he said quietly. “I know that she was all you had. I...I understand.”
“When you put that yellow button over my head and let Pete take me back to his world, I didn’t even have to think.” Rose spoke softly in the dark room, grateful that he couldn’t see her face. “I just came right back to you. I knew I wouldn’t see Mum again and I didn’t care. Maybe I didn’t understand it completely, but I still would choose you over that.”
He was touched, and tried to hide it with his words. “I’m a poor substitute for your family, Rose. But I will get you back to your proper time.”
“Life as usual, on the TARDIS?”
“Absolutely.”
“Running, our lives in peril, danger at every turn?”
“Definitely.”
She smiled and closed her eyes, ready to go back to sleep. “I can’t wait.”
Eighteen