How do I start? Hm... I am going crazy because I can't talk to ANYONE about the new lust of my life. Why not? Because my parents have banned me from seeing and speaking to him. Why? I guess being caught in his trailer down at the shop at midnight didn't help anything. It wasn't like we were alone, or even sitting with eachother ( Read more... )

i hate computers.
and that is all.

I've been having really awkward dreams lately. A few of them have boys from years past that I haven't dreamt about in... years. (: Others are so random that I don't have words for them and others are just amazing. I had not been dreaming a lot before this so I guess I could consider this *catching up ( Read more... )

It hurts.
It hurts to know that someone just does not want you.
If he wanted to, he'd find a way.
He'd be excited.
And he's not.
So blah.
Back to being lonely.
Back to being honest with myself.
Back to finding the guy of my dreams.
Back to being as lost as I was before and dreading the next day.

haha. yay me.
Well... I feel very... good.
I got my nails done, bought shoes that go with my bday outfit (actual clothing not my *birthday outfit*), starting on my tan and am about to do my eyebrows.
Wednesday I am going to get a permanent kind of spray on tan...
And by saturday I should be a beautiful goddess.

woot woot!

I hate life
I hate life
I hate life
I want to live
I want to be kissed
I want to be loved
I want to be liked
I want there to be a reason
For my existence.

I don't want to die.

Its been 2 weeks since joel hiatt decided he didn't have enough time for me between work and.... hunting ( Read more... )

Grabbing onto truths not there ( Read more... )

Here is my position on life ( Read more... )

I have a boyfriend.
His name is Joel.
And he is so sweet.
And lovely.
And cute.

I am so happy right now.
I am getting butterflies just thinking about him.
I can't see him until Wednesday.
I don't think I can wait...
oh...