"It's just [her] neurosis that oughta be curbed / [she's] psychologically disturbed!""

[rose_in_shadow]

Wow. It's been awhile since I really updated this thing.

[Therapy]Today I finally made the call to a counselor that I found mostly at random on the search function at work. I've been putting it off for days, feeling that same nervousness that I always feel when making a doctor's appointment. I'm doing my best not to think "80 steps ahead" as I'm wont to

Comments

[arysani]

I hate to admit it, but I'm with you on the fanfic thing right now. Generally I ebb and flow, as fandoms eat my life and then move on, etc etc, but I haven't been able to write ANYTHING lately. From ANY fandom. Part of me feels like it's the nuttiness at work - even though I think and feel like things are calming down, I must still be wired in some sense that I can't relax enough to be able to put words to screen.

(Also - I never watched Avatar, but all this stuff I've seen about Korra intrigues me, and I do love a female protagonist. Where do you watch the eps online? And could a person start with Korra having not seen its predecessor?)

[rose_in_shadow]

So I've been meaning to check with you and this talk of fanfic just reminded me... It seems fairly obvious that we're not going to pick up the threads of our Guide Me Home sequel (which is a shame because I really like the bits we have). Should we just publish what we have with a shamefaced apology on both shiptavern and FF.net? Or should we just leave it as is? I still get story alerts on Guide Me Home and me makes me squirm with guilt that we're not going to deliver (though it wouldn't be the first fic I've abandoned... >_

[arysani]

Hon, I'm sorry. The intention is there, the desire, but anything I've been churning out since we worked on that has been half-assed at best, because I've been so stressed out

[rose_in_shadow]

Oh, oh dear. Clumsy me, I *never* meant to cast any blame on you (or anywhere for that matter) about the lack of writing. Both of us moved on to other things and, as you said, various RL stress and things got in the way. No, no. I'm not complaining at all, I was merely wondering, but if you don't want to give up yet, that's fine with me. I'll be ready when you are.

re: AtLA

It is soo much fun! Also, it goes quickly, especially if you watch them on DVD (which I think is the only way these days...) there aren't any commercials so they're pretty short episodes. I watched all three seasons in the space of a couple of months I think when I was hankering for a re-watch and that was including the special features and things.

[thirteenthchime]

Hopefully therapy will help you out. Just a warning though - you may need to shop around after your first therapy session - I've done this twice now in two different cities, where the first time I went in for a consultation I just really didn't feel comfortable or click with the first therapist. But in both cases, the second therapist was the charm. It really helped me in some aspects. I was struggling with mild depression both times, but I also just tend to have a lot of anxiety and tend to be negative and the last time I went through therapy the therapist also gave me some tips to help work through that - breathing exercises, ways of looking at different situations, things like that

[rose_in_shadow]

Yeah, I am aware of that aspect of therapy - of possibly not clicking - so at least I'm forewarned. Mostly I keep imagining in my head what we'll talk about, which of course looks like every TV therapist and I know it'll look nothing like that. lol In any case, I seem to have some of the same things you did: I am pretty cynical and negative, though I fight it when I'm aware of it. The anxiety though... ugh. My turning point was last week when a friend asked me to go salsa dancing and I stared at the text for about five minutes wondering how I was going to get out of it. It hit me then, why in the world was I so afraid? Why *wouldn't* I want to go salsa dancing? Still didn't help my anxiety but it made me think that I should really get help, because I know that was just the tip of the iceberg

[anonymous]

Hi. So...I know this is a pretty old post, so I don't know if you'll even see this comment, but I just wanted to say thank you for this. I'm also a Christian who is struggling with anxiety, and it's gotten to the point where it's having a disrupting effect on my life. But I'm afraid to tell anyone, or even see a doctor, because I'm afraid people will judge me for not being "spiritual enough" or having a lousy relationship with God, or whatnot. It helps to know I'm not the only Christian who's dealt with mental health issues, so I just wanted to say thanks for not being ashamed to post this.

[rose_in_shadow]

I know I'm late in responding and you probably won't get this, but I just want to tell you that it *can* and WILL get better