Oh, Remus... ::huge hugs and lots of chocolate and tea and good books and even more hugs:: You DO belong at Hogwarts. You are wonderful and bright and NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. And I'm not trying to defend him, because he doesn't really deserve it after what he did, but Sirius does love you - more than anything, and he feels really badly and guilty about what he did, and that doesn't fix anything, and he SHOULD feel that way, because it was a horrible thing to do, and you deserve so much, but he makes you happy (when he's not doing stupid things, and even, sometimes, when he is) and you really deserve to be happy.
I don't know how things can be fixed, or even if they can be properly fixed, but for both your sakes', and especially yours, I hope they can be. You're in love, and it's the real thing, despite everything. That's a sad thing to lose.
Give it some more time if you need to, but you should try to talk to him. It will be good for you to tell him the things you're thinking. Someday, hopefully, things will get better. ::even
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I saw Snape in the hall outside charms yesterday, and the look of disgust he gave me just made me want to scream. I wish, for one fucking second, that Sirius could have that look directed at him and see how he deals with it.
Remus, luv, that first sentance I quoted proves you are not a monster. Only a very caring person would feel the way you do after what happened
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I doubt that Sirius is doing alright. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it, but he's likely killing himself with guilt and regret and frustration at having been forced to come to terms with a world where he no longer has your love and friendship. Most would consider what he did to be unforgivable, and I realize this. He is all too capable of being a selfish, unfeeling wanker who doesn't stop to think about the potential consequences of his actions. But he also loves you, Remus, even if it's hard to understand that right now. And I know that even if you don't really want to admit it, there's a part of you that still loves him too, and that's why it hurts so much
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I don't know how things can be fixed, or even if they can be properly fixed, but for both your sakes', and especially yours, I hope they can be. You're in love, and it's the real thing, despite everything. That's a sad thing to lose.
Give it some more time if you need to, but you should try to talk to him. It will be good for you to tell him the things you're thinking. Someday, hopefully, things will get better. ::even ( ... )
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Remus, luv, that first sentance I quoted proves you are not a monster. Only a very caring person would feel the way you do after what happened ( ... )
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