At the restaurant a sign read, "Karaoke Tonight." Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that?"

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old cousin.

“Someone who will wear something just to look different,” I said. “They’ll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses.”

“Is Grandma a hipster?” he asked.

Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:

BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered by Medicare
FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

Dad’s pager beeped, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him-lights flashing, siren blaring. So Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.

Within seconds came the policeman’s response: a pair of handcuffs flapping outside the ( Read more... )

The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my newborn daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned into the baby carriage and said, "See the doggy?"

Suddenly I felt a little silly talking to my baby as if she understood me. But just as the man passed, I noticed he reached down, patted his dog and said ( Read more... )

Wandering inside a pet store, 
I stopped in front of a birdcage to 
admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?”

There are three engineers in a car: An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might ( Read more... )

There's a fork in the road ( Read more... )

If you have a problem,
wrap it up, tie it into a bow,
and make it a gift;
because you'll get a lesson out of it.

- Alison, Starting Over House