I was awoken today by a man fitting a shower in my house frantically shouting for help. I was kind of half awake and as he was using some sort of mechanical tool, I assumed that he had cut off a finger or something and went rushing naked to his aid, but unfortunately he'd drilled through a waterpipe, and needed me to turn of the water at the mains ( Read more... )

A conversation I had with my dad today.

My dad enters the living room as Prince's Purple Rain (the song, not the film) is playing on the telly.

Dad - This isn't a song.
Me - Yes it is.
Dad - This is Jimmy Hendrix.
Me - No, it's Prince.
Dad - But Jimmy Hendrix wrote it.
Me - No, Prince wrote it.
Dad - So, did Jimmy Hendrix cover it?
 

I've lost my wallet. So fucking annoying!!! I want to scream!

( Read more... )

My digibox thing's completely fucked up. I can only get the BBC channels, and for someone who pretends not to watch much tele, I'm missing it an awful lot, especially Hill Street Blues. I'll console myself with the fact I'll still be infinitly amused by the completely absurd storylines of Neighbours.

I have also been keeping myself amused by ( Read more... )

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My telephone never rings
She'd never call me
I hate myself today
But I can see through this bitterness and sadness
And so I won't die.
Someday I think I'll be dignified and old

Who saw the darts final? It was fucking amazing (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/darts/6261589.stm), tho I wanted wee Nixy to win: Wolfie's a bit too much of a showman for me, but his wife is hilarious: she's absolutely thick as mince.

My weekend of "not drinking" didn't go so well, getting reasonably drunk on Friday and Saturday. Even ( Read more... )

I have a phone interview for First Scotrail tomorrow - which I know I won't get as I phoned inquiring about a vacancy the other day and began stuttering - but it would be nice to get as it pays almost £9 an hour  (cause it's apparently quite dangerous). If I were to get it, I'd miss signing on; the job centre's like a wee social club: there's ( Read more... )

Where did you bring in 2006?
In the Southern Bar, smoking a cigarette - INDOORS!

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
I was alive

Were you in school (any time this year)?
I met Sarah at the Art School refectory for lunch once.

How did you earn your keep?
I embezzle other people's taxes.

Did you encounter the police?
My friend became a polisman, now we ( Read more... )