Continua Part 4
Masterpost . Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3
After a quick shower, Merlin manages to coax Arthur out of the hotel with the promise of a curry. When they're seated in the tiny restaurant, steaming bowls in front of them, Arthur severely regrets his choice.
"This isn't curry," he says, frowning.
"It's meat, and spice, and . . . some kind of sauce. Close enough." Merlin braves another spoonful, determined not to be put off by the distinct lack of Korma flavour.
Arthur settles for the pappadums and beer, makes a decision to raid the mini bar again later.
"So how did today go?" he asks.
Merlin finishes his mouthful and swipes a pappadum for himself. "It was good. He wanted to test out my limits today, says that I have a lot of power, whatever that means."
"I'd imagine it means you have a lot of power," Arthur says, smirking.
Merlin rolls his eyes. "Yes, but in what way? Can I, like, move mountains? Part the sea?"
"What did Gaius say?"
"He says I can't do anything without proper training."
Arthur doesn't point out that training would take a lot of time, and that they have lives they need to get back to. "What about the curse?" he asks instead.
"I'm strong enough to break it, but I'm not strong enough to know the source yet. Gaius says I'll be able to recognise power soon."
"He can't recognise it?" Arthur asks, not quite hiding his lack of faith in the old man's abilities.
"He isn't very powerful. Most of his skills lie in medicines and healing. He said he has very little magic." Arthur raises his brow in approval that Gaius would admit to a weakness. "You'd know all this if you had come with me today," Merlin adds.
"Well, perhaps I'll come tomorrow." He drinks some more, hoping to fill the vast emptiness in his stomach. All this sex is really making him hungry. As he sets down his beer, his ring catches the glass and chimes. "I suppose I should probably be taking this off then," he says, remembering what Gaius had said about vessels, "and my chain." Arthur looks up just in time to catch Merlin's stricken expression before he turns away, tries to hide his initial reaction. "What?" Arthur asks.
"You don't have to," Merlin says, stirring his curry like he's considering eating more. He seems annoyed, but then he lowers his fork and sighs. "Just-I thought we could just have these few days."
And then Arthur remembers that Merlin is actually worried about missing the curse, missing the high or whatever it is he feels when they fuck. He wants to rant at Merlin about how selfish that is, because there's nothing special about the curse for Arthur. For him, it means he has to have sex, whether he wants it or not, and his orgasms sure as hell don't feel any different.
He bites his tongue though, because he agreed to this, and if Merlin wants to still be beholden to a magical force in exchange for a fleeting sensation, then that's his choice. And once Arthur decides that, he simmers down, reminds himself that he probably only has these last couple of days with Merlin, and he doesn't want to spend them fighting.
After they finish their drinks, they abandon their food and walk back to the hotel. There's a bad movie playing which they are both happy to watch while lounging on the sofa. About half way through though, Merlin leans over and starts to kiss Arthur, which leads to nakedness. Just as Arthur is about to slick his arse, Merlin grabs his hand and murmurs in between sucking on any available skin, "Fuck me. I need you to fuck me."
Arthur puts aside his small amount of disappointment and has Merlin ride him until they're both spent.
The next day, Arthur goes with Merlin to see Gaius.
"Merlin, come in," Gaius says as he opens the door. "Arthur," he adds, nodding a greeting, and maybe it's Arthur's imagination, but Gaius doesn't seem pleased he is here. "No hangover today, I trust?"
"No," Arthur answers, casting his eyes around the hallway and sitting room as they walk through. He's not even sure what he's looking for-some clue as to the sanity of the old man?
Gaius gets them settled in his sitting room. "Tea?" he offers.
Merlin shakes his head but Arthur accepts. "Thank you." He listens to Gaius making tea in the room beyond the bookshelves and wonders if he should have specified it be regular tea, not anything herbal or with healing properties. He turns to tell Merlin and hopefully get an amused chuckle in return but finds Merlin lost in thought, his leg bouncing, clenched hands the only sign he isn't at peace.
Arthur taps his knee, jolting Merlin back to reality. "Are you all right?"
Merlin eyes Arthur with an odd intensity, before looking confused and frowning. "Yeah. I'm okay." His leg resumes its jittering and Arthur grits his teeth to stop himself from admonishing Merlin like he's a teenage boy.
"Here we are," Gaius says as he returns to the room carrying a tray with their drinks. He places it on the coffee table but makes no move to pour the tea. "I thought today I would introduce you to some spells. We'll see how you handle the old tongue." He picks up a book from the table that looks a lot like the one Gaius threw at Merlin not two days ago: large and thick and old.
Merlin accepts the tome and sits it on his lap before opening it to a random page.
"Ah," Gaius murmurs when he sees the page. Arthur leans across but all he can make out are some rudimentary drawings of animals and letters in green and red.
"What is it?" Merlin asks, his fingers touching the words, outlining the shapes.
"It is a spell to give inanimate objects life," Gaius answers.
Arthur almost scoffs, but he knows better than to insult a man in his own home. Still, they can't be serious?
"Go on, lad, try and read it aloud," Gaius says.
Merlin looks scared at first, but then he concentrates on the page and begins to speak, "Berbay odothay arisan quickem." It's gibberish to Arthur's ears, makes absolutely no sense at all.
"Well done." Gaius smiles like he's genuinely impressed with . . . whatever that was.
Merlin grins back, looking surprised and delighted with himself. "How do I know what it says?" he asks.
"The magic in you remembers the old language. Now," he says, standing up and going to a set of drawers near the entry. "Let's see if you can use it." When he returns, he's holding a small ornament in his hand, brass with a thick green patina. He places it on the book in Merlin's lap. It's a frog.
"You want me to . . .?" Merlin stares at the little figurine, brow creased as he tries to comprehend.
"Use the spell. Bring the frog to life."
"Of course." Merlin licks his lips, shoots a dubious look at Arthur and Arthur smirks, can't help but find the whole scene amusing. "Berbay odothay arisan quickem," Merlin says, staring at the frog. He stops and nothing happens, so he shrugs and gives Gaius an apologetic smile.
"It's hardly going to work your first time, Merlin. You need to keep trying."
"Oh. Um." He pauses, concentrates. "Berbay odothay arisan quickem," he says, this time with heavier inflections. Again, nothing happens.
Arthur sighs silently, then stands to pour the tea. May as well make himself comfortable.
It takes about an hour, but with a little guidance from Gaius on things such as 'focusing his power', Merlin creates a frog when his eyes burn gold. It promptly leaps from his lap and onto his head before failing to get any traction on Merlin's hair and falling to the couch where Gaius rescues it.
Arthur has been a little in awe ever since. He watches Merlin read words that make no sense and speak them with fluency, then things-magic things-happen. He's seen Merlin move the teapot with words, then send the tea back into the pot once it spilled. He's watched as Merlin created a light without heat that Arthur could hold, and then he grew a flame. He's watched as Merlin's gone from excited and energised by his successes, to short-tempered and agitated, casting constant looks at Arthur and complaining to Gaius.
Arthur's never seen Merlin like this before, and he knows Merlin probably just needs a break, but Arthur doesn't want to suggest it because he's a little absorbed in the display.
Eventually Gaius calls a stop. "You're exhausted," he says, excusing Merlin's colourful language. "Why don't you come back tomorrow."
Merlin looks at Arthur, again, and Arthur nods, assuming Merlin is asking if that's possible.
"In that case, I'll see you in the morning," Gaius says, rising slowly and beginning to stack the teacups back on the tray.
"Excuse me, Gaius," Arthur interrupts. "Do you think Merlin will be able to learn how to break the curse tomorrow?" Gaius raises an eyebrow and Arthur hastens to explain. "It's just, we have to get back to London."
"Of course," Gaius says returning to his task. "I imagine Merlin will be capable of sensing power, yes."
He hasn't exactly answered Arthur's question, but Arthur lets it slide, eager to leave and hunt down some lunch.
As they leave Gaius', Merlin is edgy.
"Any preferences for lunch?" Arthur asks, trying to diffuse whatever has Merlin all tense. "So far our best meal has been at the hotel, so we'll be taking our chances with anything-"
"Room service is fine," Merlin snaps. He looks at Arthur and gives a tight smile, like he knows he should apologise, but can't bring himself to.
Arthur doesn't try and engage him in conversation again, just leads the way to the rental car.
They get back to the hotel room and Arthur picks up the menu, decides on steak and vegetables and feels a great gaping hole in his stomach where the food needs to be. "What do you want?" he asks Merlin over his shoulder.
Merlin plucks the menu from Arthur's hands and drops it onto the table. "Shag first, food later."
"Right," Arthur says, laughing a little. Then Merlin starts pulling off his jeans. "You're serious?"
Merlin stops and gives Arthur a perplexed look. "Of course I'm serious. My brain is fried from this morning. Fuck me and make me feel better?"
"Okay," Arthur says, regretting it a little when he realises that means postponing lunch. Arthur sits and unties his shoelaces, and by the time he's finished, Merlin is already stretched out on the bed, tugging on himself. Merlin's eagerness throws Arthur for a minute. It's not like Merlin to be so upfront, so demanding, and not what Arthur would expect from someone purportedly exhausted. He finishes undressing, then climbs onto the bed and hovers over Merlin, his soft dick hanging down.
Merlin doesn't have to be asked. He shuffles down until he can get his mouth around Arthur, sucks him hard and then keeps going, gets Arthur nice and wet. He pulls away and finds the lube, and Arthur takes it from him, uses it and his fingers to stretch Merlin open. There's a look on Merlin's face, almost like how he gets when it's been a couple of days. Desperate. Wanting. It's not what Arthur wants to see, some real affection, but at least Arthur knows Merlin wants it now, despite the slightly vacant look in his eyes.
Arthur fucks him, makes it fast because he's hungry, and annoyed, though he's not sure why. When they're finished, Merlin stretches out and smiles, his whole body at ease.
"Better?" Arthur asks as he wipes himself off with tissues.
"Much," Merlin says. "God I needed that."
Arthur snorts. "Well I need food. Lots of it." He stands up, makes his way to the bathroom. "Order me the steak," he says before going in and shutting the door.
It takes thirty minutes for the steak to arrive but it is worth every second. Merlin gets some ridiculous vegetarian dish with too many colours and acts like it's the most delicious thing he's ever eaten.
"I think I might head back over to Gaius'," Merlin says casually in between bites.
"What? I thought you were exhausted."
"I feel all right now, and I figure the sooner I can figure out what I need to do, the sooner we can leave."
Arthur chews and wonders about Merlin's change of mindset. An hour ago he was foaming at the bit to be out of Gaius'. Perhaps the exhaustion from using magic passes quickly?
"Do I have to go, too?"
Merlin laughs. "No. You can lie around and watch reality programs if you want."
"And drink beer."
"I'm almost jealous."
Merlin finishes his food and wipes at his mouth with his serviette before gathering all the empty plates and stacking them on the tray. He checks his phone and types out a message, probably responding to Gwaine.
"Maybe this afternoon you can ask Gaius to teach you how to sense power," Arthur suggests.
Merlin starts a bit, must have been lost in his thoughts. "Um, sure. I can ask, I guess."
There's something off in Merlin's response. "Merlin?"
"I'll ask," he says, head bowed as he takes the tray, places it outside the door. When he returns, he adds, "I thought we were having a good time."
Arthur raises an eyebrow. It's not that he objects to being with Merlin, but it annoys Arthur that this isn't everything for him. Merlin still has his boyfriend, and he doesn't seem to realise that this-this isn't escapism for Arthur. It's what Arthur really wants, and it's being relentlessly dangled in front of him.
And that's it, Arthur realises. That's why he's been annoyed today. Merlin is running this show now, and it's beginning to grate on Arthur's nerves.
"Not eager to get back to Gwaine?" Arthur asks, a trace of a sneer in his voice.
Merlin looks hurt, like he might retaliate, but he doesn't. Frowning, he picks up the room key. "I'll ask."
The reality TV shows are truly awful, are nowhere near entertaining enough to distract Arthur from his thoughts, and the beer he's been drinking seems to only aid his introspection, has Arthur second-guessing himself all afternoon. He doesn't want to be mean to Merlin, but sometimes . . . sometimes it seems to be the only way to get through to him.
After an hour, Arthur has sufficient distance to realise he's probably only getting ticked off at Merlin because he's jealous. There's nothing in particular Merlin has done to upset him, just the whole being happy with his partner thing.
Which makes Arthur think of Gwen. He should call her, but right now the last thing he wants to do is feel worse, and explaining to Gwen that he's still going to be another day or two is bound to do that. So he types out a quick message, tells her it's taking longer than they expected, tells himself he really will call her later.
An hour later and Arthur is bored like he's never been bored in his life. He's now thinking that this is all Merlin's fault, that none of this would have happened if Merlin didn't have magic or whateverthefuck it is that caused all this mess. Arthur may have had a couple of more beers over the last hour, and watched a whole episode of Jeremy Kyle. As soon as he realises that, he decides he has to go for a walk.
Outside the hotel room, the world is pleasant. There's a chill breeze and soft clouds-a beautiful autumn day. He finds a newsagency not far from the hotel, and Arthur stops in and buys the paper, and then he spots a cafe and buys a pot of tea so he has a place to sit and read. He skims the financials and the business news, and this is good, this is normal. It's what Arthur Pendragon does. He does things-doesn't just sit around and wait for someone else to do them.
It's after five when he gets back to the hotel, finds Merlin already in the room. Merlin stands as soon as Arthur opens the door, looks at him with relief but it's tinged with worry.
"You weren't here."
"Just went for a walk," Arthur says, understanding from the look on Merlin's face that Merlin had thought he'd left. "Needed to get out for a bit." Arthur feels bad now, can't stand that he's responsible for Merlin appearing so lost. "I'm sorry, about earlier," he says, truly regretful.
"Don't be," Merlin says, sitting back down but not taking his eyes off Arthur.
"I hate feeling like this," Arthur says, and tries to explain. "All my life-everything has been within my control, but this . . . there's nothing I can do about this. It gets to me."
"You can't be expected to fix everything."
"Forgive me, but I don't yet feel comfortable leaving this in your hands," Arthur says, then wishes he hadn't. But Merlin isn't upset.
"I wish you would," Merlin says, looking focused, determined. And then suddenly Arthur feels something like a nudge at his wrist, there for a moment and then retreating up his arm. He feels it again a second later, only this time it's more like a caress. "I'm getting stronger," Merlin adds. "There are things I can do now . . ." he trails off and Arthur feels something inside him squeeze. In a good way.
He looks at Merlin, tries to gauge what his thoughts are.
"Will you let me, Arthur?"
"I believe you already have," Arthur snaps, but it lacks bite. He's curious now.
"That's nothing." Another squeeze and this one takes some of Arthur's breath away. "Can I?"
"Yes." He gives in, allows Merlin to gently pull him towards the bed.
Merlin peels Arthur's clothes away from his body and then lays him down while invisible hands restrain him, pull him out by his wrists and ankles. His legs are spread and there's a cool breath right there, causing his balls to tighten, though Merlin has yet to move. It's disconcerting.
"Promise me," Arthur says as soon as his vulnerability sinks in, "promise you won't hurt me."
Merlin's clothes flop to the floor and he stands there, radiating power that Arthur fears, his eyes glowing more than they ever have before. "I won't hurt you," he says. "It will all feel good."
Although the words should relax Arthur, they don't. Merlin he would trust with his life, but this man is different. Still, he would never allow Merlin to see that, so he forces himself to let go of his tension, places himself at the mercy of this-this warlock.
A million fingertips touch him in slightly off beats, creating a tingling blanket. It moves, too, undulates, the pressure suddenly focuses on his groin before retreating, only to reappear in his inner thighs. Then touches turn to strokes: light, tantalizing streaks of warmth everywhere he could want it.
"Tell me what you want?" Merlin asks, leaning over him now and tracing his lips with his tongue.
And Arthur doesn't know anymore. He shouldn't want it, but it feels-it feels better than anything. It makes him dizzy with want, obscures all the other thoughts, things he should know. And he wants-he wants Merlin-he's always wanted Merlin. This isn't any different.
"I want you," he says, before being dragged under by Merlin's magic.
Everything is a wash of sensation and feeling and orgasms that last and last, well beyond what feels good. It borders on pain, makes Arthur grip the sheets and yell and arch, but it doesn't stop, and he can feel all the energy being dragged out of him, but Merlin doesn't listen when Arthur tells him, is too lost in grinding down on Arthur, taking what he needs, and then Arthur forgets, because it feels good again, and he begs for more.
Later, when he surfaces, Arthur feels like he's been on a bad trip. He remembers what happened, but it's patchy, lacks focus. And the way he completely gave himself over to Merlin, showed no self control even after he'd screamed and wanted it to stop, it leaves Arthur feeling ashamed. Until he thinks of how maybe it wasn't really his decision.
His eyes roam over Merlin's body, passed out next to him. His Merlin has always been uncertain and a little clumsy. Arthur loved that about him. When the curse weakened Merlin, Arthur hated it, but this-this strong Merlin, it's much worse. And Arthur is afraid. He has something Merlin needs, and Merlin can just take it from him now. Whenever he wants.
Merlin makes a sleepy noise and buries his face further into his pillow.
"Merlin?"
Merlin's face scrunches and he cracks open an eye. "Morning," he says. The eye shuts straight away and Arthur thinks perhaps Merlin has gone back to sleep, but then he speaks again. "Oh, God," he groans, rolling onto his back. He stretches out and has to feel the ache in every muscle like Arthur does. Or maybe he doesn't? Arthur doesn't know how the magic would affect its source. "I'm sorry, fuck-" Merlin says, heels of his hands in his eyes. "God, I don't know what came over me."
Arthur feels fear prickle inside his chest. "You can't do that. Never again."
Merlin moves his hands and stares at Arthur. His eyes are bright, the blue more intense than normal. "Shit - of course not." He shakes his head, looks to be remembering in bits and pieces like Arthur did. "I'm so sorry, I just . . . I knew I could make it better for you, so I kept-"
"Today," Arthur says firmly.
Merlin grimaces, looks confused. "What?"
"You said you're getting stronger, and you heard what Gaius said."
Merlin looks like he might argue, but Arthur's not willing to take any more excuses, and Merlin must be able to see that.
"Okay. Okay," he says, sitting up in bed.
Arthur goes to roll out from under the covers and Merlin grabs at him. It's quick, obviously involuntary, and Arthur stares down at Merlin's hand until he withdraws it.
"Sorry," Merlin says.
Arthur continues to stare, at Merlin, who's looking slightly wretched now, eyes flitting to Arthur and away, almost like he can't control that either.
"Is everything okay?" Arthur asks. Merlin opens his mouth, closes it, seems to be determinedly avoiding letting his eyes drift to Arthur again. "You have to tell me," he prompts. That's a lesson they learned early on.
"It feels different," Merlin finally says.
"In what way?"
"Almost like when I need it."
And that shouldn't be the case. Merlin only needs it when he's had to go without, and that's not been an issue of late, quite the opposite really. Maybe Merlin is just feeling off?
But then, they've never spent this much time together, not since the curse. This is unchartered territory as far as management goes. It wouldn't surprise Arthur at all if there was another twisted side-effect of their affliction.
"Perhaps Gaius will know what's going on," he suggests, then continues on to the bathroom, ignoring the way Merlin's eyes follow him, and the slightly glazed expression on his face.
Gaius comments on Merlin's behaviour before they even get started.
"You don't look well, Merlin."
Merlin stops, eyes searching out Arthur. He's about to lie, to fluff over the problem and appear as though everything is fine, but Arthur can see it coming.
"Tell him," he says.
"Something's changed," Merlin says, tentatively.
"Changed?"
"With the curse. It's like-I always feel a sort of pressure, like an urge, for Arthur, but now it's-it's worse. It's everywhere, all under my skin."
Gaius frowns and takes a seat. "It sounds as though the need is escalating."
"What does that mean?" asks Arthur. He also takes a seat, next to Merlin to try and keep him calm.
"It's difficult to be certain without knowing the intent of the maker, but most curses are destructive, intended to harm and ruin. Your curse relies on dependency, but perhaps it has progressed to subjugation."
"Control?" Arthur asks, his mind flitting back to the night before, how Merlin is now capable of taking whatever he wants.
"No, quite the opposite. What Merlin has just described, that sounds like his is craving your presence now."
"Addiction?" A new type of fear sprouts in Arthur's mind.
Merlin swears under his breath and Arthur, Arthur can't quite think past the thought that possibly, he is now the equivalent of crack for Merlin.
"This is bad," Arthur says aloud.
Merlin has his head back and his eyes closed, his breaths deep and uneven. Arthur has never been truly addicted to anything, but he's lived in the city for years, has known a few people who've accidentally slipped from recreational use to requirement. They don't stay in his life for long after that, unable to continue with normality. It's never been anyone close.
This is new though, in every sense. Merlin is now a danger to Arthur.
"At least it seems less likely Merlin is the originator," Gaius says. "Merlin, how long have you felt this compulsion?"
"I don't know," he says, his voice unsteady. "It's been strong for the last few days."
Arthur thinks back over the last few days, how Merlin has been so eager for sex, and he feels blind now not to have noticed something. Years of being aloof with each other and suddenly Merlin can't get enough? And before? That would explain why Merlin wanted to share a room in the first place.
"That's rather fast," Arthur comments.
"Not necessarily. Your curse can kill him in a matter of days; there's no reason to suspect it couldn't escalate equally fast." Gaius stares until Arthur nods his understanding. "It should be early stages," Gaius continues. "You will both need to be careful, and we'll work on distracting you, Merlin. If you can resist, I can't see any reason why you shouldn't overcome this."
Arthur can name several reasons, the first of which is that they have to have sex. Within a few days if Merlin is to live. Gaius doesn't seem concerned, obviously hasn't made the connection with what Merlin-a person with magic-is capable of.
But Arthur doesn't want to tempt fate, would rather stay positive on the off chance Merlin will find strength from Gaius' naïve assessment. They stare at each other, both with worry, but Merlin's face is also full of open-faced need. And Arthur can only imagine how long until Merlin breaks and uses his abilities to get what he wants.
"Arthur," Gaius says, prompting him to break eye contact. "I think today would better be spent apart, don't you?"
"Yes," Arthur says. He stands and has to take a moment to orientate himself. "Yes," he says again, before leaving.
When Merlin returns to the hotel, he looks strung out. His fingers tap constantly instead of picking up his cutlery and eating the room service meal Arthur had ordered. Arthur catches Merlin staring several times, whenever the tapping stops, and Arthur's well aware of how vulnerable he is, sitting within arm's reach.
Arthur puts his fork down.
"You have to resist."
"I know."
"You can't let it control you."
Merlin looks like he's about to snap but then thinks better of it. Arthur wonders if Merlin will get nasty with withdrawals, if he will become malicious. How will he use his magic then?
"Perhaps I should get my own room," Arthur says.
"No!" Merlin practically yells. He looks crushed as his own reaction sinks in. "Okay, maybe, yes. You should."
Arthur can't eat anymore. Watching Merlin like this, distracted and on edge, he feels torn. He's used to providing for Merlin, giving him what he needs. It's an obligation, one he has conditioned himself not to begrudge Merlin, and now . . . Arthur knows he needs to leave before he gives in. So he puts down his cutlery and gathers the few items he will need for the night. Merlin follows him around, then stops and sits on the bed, as though he has to force himself to let Arthur go.
"I'll be back in the morning," Arthur says, not comforting Merlin the way he wants to. Merlin hugs his knees to his chest and looks scared. "It will be okay," Arthur offers in lieu of anything more generous.
The long trip down in the elevator, Arthur wishes he knew if he was doing the right thing. They don't know how to manage this part of the curse, what it does, how withdrawals will pan out, how much Merlin will suffer. Merlin looks strong enough, and Arthur is almost certain staying away for the night will not harm him. They have to know at any rate, if Merlin is in actual need or if it's purely psychological. And this is the only way they'll find out.
At reception, Arthur signs for a single room on a different floor and leaves strict instructions that no one is to be told where he is, especially not Mr Emrys. He lets himself into the room and closes the door, making sure it is locked. After brushing his teeth, he climbs into bed and watches a little TV before giving up and turning out the lights.
The silence is eerie. He's had Merlin sleeping beside him for the last couple of nights, his heat and his breath to keep Arthur company, more comforting than even Gwen.
Sleep takes a long time to get to him.
He's woken in the early hours of the morning with Merlin's mouth on his cock, feelings of arousal and contentment dragging him from slumber. In his sleepy haze, Arthur lets himself forget that he shouldn't come down Merlin's throat.
Arthur's phone alarm goes off in the morning and he reaches over and turns it off. Merlin is curled up around him, soft and warm and content.
"Merlin," he says, nudging him with his arm. "It's time to wake up."
Merlin makes a snoring noise and clings to Arthur, scrunches his face up in protest. He was probably up half the night, Arthur realises. The cravings would have kept him from sleep.
Merlin's clinging becomes nuzzling, and he sleepily begins to nose down Arthur's body, grunts a little when he encounters boxers. Arthur wants to stop him, he really does, but then again he doesn't. Merlin's mouth . . . it's sinfully good knowing how much Merlin wants Arthur's come inside of him, and it's morning and Arthur's pliable with rest, would really not mind another blow job.
As soon as the thought occurs to him, he sits up, starts trying to pull Merlin off. "Merlin, no. Come on, you don't need it. You have to stop." And so does Arthur. He has to remember that this is bad for Merlin.
Merlin makes a whingey noise and resists, starts licking at Arthur. Arthur tries tugging at Merlin's head, tries to pull him away and then something happens. Arthur's wrists are jerked up, and they're pulled above his head, kept there as though tied.
"Merlin?" he asks, panicked.
Merlin doesn't answer him. The pressure gets tighter and Merlin moans as he finally gets Arthur's cock in his mouth. Arthur pulls his arms in but they don't move and he's truly fearful, has never felt incapacitated like this before.
"Merlin," he says, urgent and scared. "Stop, you have to stop!" Arthur bucks his hips and it gets Merlin's attention. He glances up at Arthur, annoyed until he sees what's happening.
As suddenly as they were restrained, Arthur's wrists are freed, and they stare at each other, wide-eyed and terrified.
"I'm sorry," Merlin says. "Arthur, I'm so sorry."
And then Merlin is pulling at his hair, squeezing his head between his hands and looking on the verge of a breakdown. Arthur doesn't go to him, doesn't offer any comfort. His wrists still tingle from the way they were forced. From the . . . the magic that Merlin unknowingly did.
"I need to stop this," Merlin says, anguished. "How do I stop?"
And it's like Arthur can finally see Merlin, the guilt written all across his face, the desperation in his eyes, and Arthur thinks maybe he has missed something. Because clearly there is more to what is happening now than Merlin feeling bad about what he almost did. It looks like he's battling, and suddenly Arthur realises. Merlin should be able to sense power, and he is capable of destroying the curse. But how can they expect him to do that when the sex is what he craves?
"Merlin, do you know how?" Arthur asks, as gently as he can.
Merlin's eyes frantically search the ceiling and he exhales a shaky breath, drags his palms over his face again as he nods, almost imperceptibly.
"Merlin?" Arthur prompts. "Let me help." In his mind he is begging, praying to whatever God that Merlin will do the right thing.
Merlin looks askance. "Tell me what will happen." He pauses, licks his lips. "What will happen once the curse is gone?"
Arthur doesn't know how to answer that, can only assume Merlin needs reassurance that he can still have Arthur. "We can still be together. It will be better, too. You won't feel like this, and we'll be free-"
Merlin is trembling slightly, maybe from the magic, maybe from the curse. "It's-" he stops, bites down on his lip as he stares out across the room. "It's the pendant," he says, forcing the words out. "It's always been the pendant."
Arthur follows Merlin's eyes, sees the small pile of his belongings sitting there, innocuous in appearance. The vessel. "It was my father's." Uther had worn it religiously, after Catrina had gifted it to him.
Merlin nods. "I would have to-destroy it."
All along, that's all it was? It doesn't seem right to Arthur, that so much misery could be caused by something that should be valued.
"Will we need Gaius?" Arthur asks, and when Merlin indicates that they will, tries to figure out the logistics. Merlin can't be trusted to take the chain to Gaius, not when he's in this state. So Arthur will have to call Gaius-maybe get him to come to them. Arthur has to get dressed, and so does Merlin. There's a lot to do.
It's only an afterthought, really, that Arthur realises this is it. If all goes well, they could be just hours away from being released. It should make him feel good, excited, knowing that, but too many things could go wrong.
Merlin is still curled in on himself and Arthur comprehends that maybe that part won't go away. Even if Merlin does break the curse, there's no guarantee the addiction will disappear. Arthur will have to leave, and soon. And Merlin can't know.
"Please, Arthur," Merlin says, snapping Arthur from his thoughts. "It will be easier for me if we could-" Merlin's eyes drift lower, and he's not even trying to hide the open desire.
There's absolutely nothing about Merlin right now that can stir Arthur, and part of him says that he shouldn't, that it won't help. But the other, more rational part of him says it will. Merlin needs to be strong, and it's easier for a man to turn down food when he's had his fill. Arthur has had to fuck Merlin under worse conditions, when Merlin hasn't even been capable of asking, but this still feels worse, somehow. More sordid.
Arthur picks up his phone and calls Gaius, asks him to join them at the hotel. After he hangs up, he approaches Merlin, ignoring the semi-triumphant look on Merlin's face. Arthur lets Merlin push down the waistband of his boxers so he can suck on Arthur's soft prick, prepares to think about anything else rather than how much he detests the way Merlin is right now. They have thirty minutes. Maybe less. Then they'll go back to their shared room so Gaius can't smell the sex.
After they've finished, Arthur feels the shame that he only gets when he fails at something. Merlin is practically grinning now, licking at his lips as he tucks Arthur back in, and it's unsettling to Arthur, because now all he can think is what if he got it wrong? What if Merlin wasn't really that desperate? What if he just played Arthur to get what he wanted?
"Get dressed," he tells Merlin, then stands and pulls on his own clothes, all the while thinking about what he needs to do.
Clothes on, they leave the room and walk up the hall to the lift. Arthur tries to give away nothing, keeps as calm as usual. In the lift he watches Merlin, looks for signs that maybe he's wrong, but then Merlin smiles and it reminds Arthur that no, he can't trust him anymore.
When they get to their floor, Gaius is waiting. He smiles at Merlin and then accepts the chain Arthur hands him.
"Shall we?" he asks.
Arthur unlocks the door and steps aside to let them in. Merlin strides ahead and Gaius follows. They're both excited, buzzing from the opportunity to do magic, but all Arthur feels is dread. He doesn't know if this will work, if Merlin will just let him go, but he needs to. He has to try.
Gaius notices first and looks back over his shoulder, a brow raised in question.
"I think I'll wait outside," Arthur says.
There's a glimpse of recognition in Gaius' eyes and Arthur thinks the old man knows exactly what he's about to do.
"I'll come and get you when we're done," Gaius says. "Probably best he's not here. It would be a distraction," he adds for Merlin.
Merlin looks suspicious but doesn't say anything. Arthur was counting on Gaius' presence keeping him in check, making Merlin want to appear normal and able to let Arthur go. He nods at Arthur, a determined look in his eyes, before the door closes, blocking Arthur from view.
Quickly, Arthur heads for the lift, takes it down to the lobby where he gives clear instructions for his belongings to be sent back to his address in London-never mind the expense. He has the concierge call him a cab which he has every intention of taking to the airport and getting on the next flight.
He had three weeks of leave, still has two and a half left, and he has every intention of using that time to stay off Merlin's radar. If what they are doing doesn't work, if Merlin can't (or won't) destroy the pendant, then Arthur can't be near him. Intuitively Arthur knows, all he has to do is take away the reward, make it so Merlin has to break the curse to survive.
Arthur's so confident this is the solution that when he gets to the airport and sees a flight boarding for Paris, he doesn't tell anyone where he is going. There will be no need to find him, he assures himself, because Merlin will be able to fix this.
Swallowing back the uncertainty, Arthur pulls out his wallet and approaches the ticket counter. First stop Paris, then as far away as he can get.
Part 5