And Still- AU Smallville Fanfic
Title: And Still
Rating: PG
Pairings: Chlark; a slight mystery pairing
Spoilers: Spoilers for season 7, if you somehow haven't seen it.
Disclaimer: If I owned Smallville, things would have ended a lot differently. NUFF SAID.
Summary: She knew their past had no future with just one look.
Notes: Major angst! This is the third and final story in The Shattered Hearts Trilogy. It is in no way a sequel or a prequel to either of the previous stories, it just happens to have a similar theme. This just might be the most emotional and heartfelt of the three. The mystery pairing shouldn't be a mystery at all, if you've read the previous two stories. Feedback would be loved so much! ♥
I realize this is probably the last place I should be.
Returning to the city I ran away from seven years ago probably wasn't a good idea.
But my boss needed someone to take care of some business for him. A "quick stop", he'd said. I'd be "in and out in no time". He'd made me believe I'd be gone before anyone knew I was there. He even paid for my flight.
I accomplished my task yesterday, and spent the night in a nice, empty hotel room overlooking Centennial Park.
Now I'm on my way out of town.
It's fast approaching noon, and I'm so close to hailing a cab back to Metropolis airport.
But out of the corner of my eyes, I see a coffee stand, and as the smell of my favorite pick-me-up hits my nostrils, I can't help but give into temptation.
I start over, glancing at my watch.
It's 11:40. My flight isn't until 12:15. I have enough time to indulge myself in the world's best coffee. Or, well, I know it used to be the world's best coffee. I'm not sure if the years have changed it.
Before I realize it, lost in my thoughts as I am, I collide with the equivalent of a brick wall.
I know without glancing up, I've walked right into some poor guy, a big, tall guy.
"Oof! Sorry!" I say, just as he mutters an apology as well.
It takes me a second to realize that I know that voice.
My eyes slowly move up, and when I realize who it is I've barreled into, my heart nearly stops, and my breathing stills.
No.
It can't be.
Out of all the people I could have ran into, why him?
Why Clark Kent?
*Thousands of people
Live in this town
And I had to run into him
When I saw him there on that busy street
Those feelings came back again*
His eyes slowly meet mine, those beautiful baby blues that I've missed so much, so beyond reason, and I realize he has the same look on his face that I probably have on mine.
"Chloe?" he asks, his voice low, his brows furrowed.
I detect surprise in his voice, and a strange sadness in his eyes.
My mouth drops open a bit, as my heart begins to pound, and my gut tells me to go into denial, to try to run away again, but I can't. I find myself trapped there, by those beautiful blue eyes, which are hiding behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.
"C-Clark." I stutter, and swallow hard. "Hi."
*There was nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
He walked up to me
And looked in my eyes*
"Chloe..." Clark shakes his head, studying me. "Wow... it's been a long time."
"Yep... Seven years." I say, and look down, chewing at my lip.
"You... you look great."
My eyes are back on him, and I sigh softly, looking at his handsome form, clad in a suit. "You do, too."
There's still some sadness in his face, some pain. He doesn't voice it, even if I can see it. It probably has something to do with the way I left.
I never told him I was leaving.
I just left him a note, telling him I was leaving to start a new life, and not to worry about looking for me. That I'd be okay.
But he never knew the real reason why I left.
He probably still doesn't.
"So, uh... how have, uh... How've you been, Chlo?" he asks, breaking my thoughts.
I give him a little shrug, and tilt my head. "Ah, I can't complain. I've been doing fine. I work for the New York Times."
His eyes widen. "Really? Are you using an alias or something? I haven't seen any of your articles."
I manage a laugh, despite any nervousness. "Don't get all excited, Clark. I'm just the editor's secretary."
"Oh." His face falls a bit. "Sorry."
He expected me to be embracing my inner journalist again. I hate to disappoint him, but it just hasn't happened. I needed a change of pace- or so I told him. The truth is, Lex has me blacklisted when he fired me. The secretary job is the closest I'll get to that world again. And it's better than nothing.
"Ah, it's nice. I've been there for five years."
"Do you enjoy it?"
As much as journalism? Hell, no. But he probably knows that already.
"Yeah. It's not bad."
He nods slowly, as if taking it all in.
*He said "how have you been?
It's great to see you again
You're really a sight for sore eyes"
I said "I can't complain
Oh I'm doing fine"
We talked as the people rushed by*
The awkwardness slowly seems to be fading, much to my surprise.
For a moment, as we chit-chat and make our way to the coffee stand, it's like those seven years never happened, and I'm hanging out with my best friend again.
He orders two coffees, one just the way I always liked it. It's crazy, but he stills knows me, even after all this time.
He gives me a smile, one of those smiles that always melted me, and I feel an ache in my chest again. That smile still has the same effect on me, I'm afraid.
"I hope you know this is on me." he says, and I manage a laugh.
"If you say so." I smile back at him, as genuinely as possible.
The smile begins to slip from his lips as he stands there, looking at me. His eyes begin to soften, and I notice an emotion that's completely unreadable to me.
Suddenly, he's breaking the space between us, and before I can say a word, his arms are around me, hugging me tight. I feel tears threatening my eyes. I've missed this. So much.
"I've missed you..." he whispers. "So much, Chlo."
*We laughed about old times
And all we went through
And that's when he hugged me
And said "I've missed you"*
It's at that moment that I can't take it anymore.
A single tear falls from my eye, as I remember the real reason why I left- as I feel it.
It was him.
I left because of him.
I loved him, more than anything in this world, and hell, I still do.
But I left.
I left not just because I felt like I was maybe holding him back. I left because, in all reality, Clark was holding me back. How was I ever going to move on if I just stuck to his side like a knot on a log?
So I did what I felt was best for me, and I left town.
But as I stand here, wrapped in his big, strong arms again, I find myself wondering just how well I've moved on.
*And still
The world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel*
He pulls back from our hug just as the coffee vendor is about to present our drinks.
He reaches into his pocket for his wallet, and looks up at the vendor.
"How much will it be, Arnie?" he asks, and I want to laugh.
This time seven years ago, it would have been me who knew the coffee vendors by name.
"For you, Mr. Kent? Three-Fifty." The man says with a smile.
Clark returns it as he pulls out a bill.
As he does, I notice something thin and rectangular fall out, landing on the sidewalk in front of me.
My brow creases as I reach down to pick it up.
"Clark, you... dropped... something..."
My voice trails off into dead silence as I realize what the slightly tattered card in my hand is.
I look up at him, a bit confused.
He's turned around at this point, both cups in his hands. His face falls somewhat as he realizes what I have.
"Clark, this is... one of the tickets to the Spring Formal, Freshman Year." I glance down at it a moment, looking it over, and then look back up at him. "You... you kept yours?"
He swallows hard, and something in his face tells me that he doesn't want to tell the truth.
But he nods slowly, and gives me a sad smile. "Of course I did." he says softly, and holds my coffee out to me. "You... you were my first date, Chloe. That was... our first date."
He's looking down as he says it, and that just makes me hurt even more.
"C-Clark..." I murmur, but then stop myself.
He glances up, and gives me another sad and forced smile, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
It's only then that I notice the ring on his left hand.
A wedding band, no doubt.
And that makes me feel even more guilty for how I feel right now.
"That night was... special to me, Chloe." he says, breaking my thoughts. "I'll always cherish it."
What is he telling me? I ask myself, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I wonder if he can hear it. Did he... could he have possibly... no. He didn't love me, too, did he?
*Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him
Still*
Our eyes are still locked on each other when I suddenly hear a familiar voice approaching us.
"Hey, honey, who's your friend?"
My eyes widen slightly as we both turn to look at the leggy brunette at our sides.
Her brows wrinkle in confusion, then widen. "Chloe?"
I give her the best smile I can muster.
"Hey, Lois."
She jumps at the chance to give me a hug, and as he arms move around me, I see the diamond ring on her finger.
Lois then turns to Clark.
"Good job, honey. You found my cousin." she says with a grin, and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Wow." I murmur. "You two are married."
My big cousin laughs. "Yep. For four years now. Funny how the love bug just sneaks up on you sometimes, isn't it?"
I continue to smile and nods, trying my hardest to hide my pain.
*That's when she walked up to him
He said "this is my wife"
I gave my best smile
But I was dying inside*
"So, Chloe, how long are you in town?" Lois asks, with big, excited eyes.
"Oh, actually, I'm on my way out."
"Oh, man! Really?" She frowns, looking disappointed. "We're meeting Lucy and the General. You should stay, join us. I'm sure they'd love to see you."
I shake my head sadly. "I'm sorry, I can't... really. My boss is expecting me."
Lois begins to pout, just a little. "Alright then... but please come back and see us sometime, cuz. We really miss you."
"I miss you, too." I whisper.
Lois looks from me to Clark, and then back again.
"Well... we should probably go, right, honey? The General is expecting us any minute. And you know him... he hates when we show up late."
"Um... right." Clark nods, as if he's not sure what else to say.
Lois squeals and hugs me again. "It was so good to see you, cuz!"
Then Clark gives me a one-armed hug, still keeping a death grip on his coffee.
"Yeah... it was wonderful seeing you." He swallows hard. "Bye, Chloe."
My cousin gives me a little wave, then grabs her husband's arm.
*He said "we gotta go now
It's getting late
It was so good to see you"
And then they walked away*
They start to walk away, headed off to whatever restauraunt her family is waiting, leaving me alone to deal with my realizations.
At the last moment, just as they're about to turn a corner, Clark turns back to look at me, a sad look on his face, one that I understand all too well now.
I wave at him, and then, suddenly, he's out of my sight.
*And still
My world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel*
But something else isn't.
I glance down and realize the Spring Formal ticket is still in my hand.
He didn't take it back.
*Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him...*
Maybe it's a sign.
Maybe it isn't.
He let me keep it.
Maybe this is his way of letting go.
Maybe.
And maybe it's time I did, too.
*...Still...*
Rating: PG
Pairings: Chlark; a slight mystery pairing
Spoilers: Spoilers for season 7, if you somehow haven't seen it.
Disclaimer: If I owned Smallville, things would have ended a lot differently. NUFF SAID.
Summary: She knew their past had no future with just one look.
Notes: Major angst! This is the third and final story in The Shattered Hearts Trilogy. It is in no way a sequel or a prequel to either of the previous stories, it just happens to have a similar theme. This just might be the most emotional and heartfelt of the three. The mystery pairing shouldn't be a mystery at all, if you've read the previous two stories. Feedback would be loved so much! ♥
I realize this is probably the last place I should be.
Returning to the city I ran away from seven years ago probably wasn't a good idea.
But my boss needed someone to take care of some business for him. A "quick stop", he'd said. I'd be "in and out in no time". He'd made me believe I'd be gone before anyone knew I was there. He even paid for my flight.
I accomplished my task yesterday, and spent the night in a nice, empty hotel room overlooking Centennial Park.
Now I'm on my way out of town.
It's fast approaching noon, and I'm so close to hailing a cab back to Metropolis airport.
But out of the corner of my eyes, I see a coffee stand, and as the smell of my favorite pick-me-up hits my nostrils, I can't help but give into temptation.
I start over, glancing at my watch.
It's 11:40. My flight isn't until 12:15. I have enough time to indulge myself in the world's best coffee. Or, well, I know it used to be the world's best coffee. I'm not sure if the years have changed it.
Before I realize it, lost in my thoughts as I am, I collide with the equivalent of a brick wall.
I know without glancing up, I've walked right into some poor guy, a big, tall guy.
"Oof! Sorry!" I say, just as he mutters an apology as well.
It takes me a second to realize that I know that voice.
My eyes slowly move up, and when I realize who it is I've barreled into, my heart nearly stops, and my breathing stills.
No.
It can't be.
Out of all the people I could have ran into, why him?
Why Clark Kent?
*Thousands of people
Live in this town
And I had to run into him
When I saw him there on that busy street
Those feelings came back again*
His eyes slowly meet mine, those beautiful baby blues that I've missed so much, so beyond reason, and I realize he has the same look on his face that I probably have on mine.
"Chloe?" he asks, his voice low, his brows furrowed.
I detect surprise in his voice, and a strange sadness in his eyes.
My mouth drops open a bit, as my heart begins to pound, and my gut tells me to go into denial, to try to run away again, but I can't. I find myself trapped there, by those beautiful blue eyes, which are hiding behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.
"C-Clark." I stutter, and swallow hard. "Hi."
*There was nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
He walked up to me
And looked in my eyes*
"Chloe..." Clark shakes his head, studying me. "Wow... it's been a long time."
"Yep... Seven years." I say, and look down, chewing at my lip.
"You... you look great."
My eyes are back on him, and I sigh softly, looking at his handsome form, clad in a suit. "You do, too."
There's still some sadness in his face, some pain. He doesn't voice it, even if I can see it. It probably has something to do with the way I left.
I never told him I was leaving.
I just left him a note, telling him I was leaving to start a new life, and not to worry about looking for me. That I'd be okay.
But he never knew the real reason why I left.
He probably still doesn't.
"So, uh... how have, uh... How've you been, Chlo?" he asks, breaking my thoughts.
I give him a little shrug, and tilt my head. "Ah, I can't complain. I've been doing fine. I work for the New York Times."
His eyes widen. "Really? Are you using an alias or something? I haven't seen any of your articles."
I manage a laugh, despite any nervousness. "Don't get all excited, Clark. I'm just the editor's secretary."
"Oh." His face falls a bit. "Sorry."
He expected me to be embracing my inner journalist again. I hate to disappoint him, but it just hasn't happened. I needed a change of pace- or so I told him. The truth is, Lex has me blacklisted when he fired me. The secretary job is the closest I'll get to that world again. And it's better than nothing.
"Ah, it's nice. I've been there for five years."
"Do you enjoy it?"
As much as journalism? Hell, no. But he probably knows that already.
"Yeah. It's not bad."
He nods slowly, as if taking it all in.
*He said "how have you been?
It's great to see you again
You're really a sight for sore eyes"
I said "I can't complain
Oh I'm doing fine"
We talked as the people rushed by*
The awkwardness slowly seems to be fading, much to my surprise.
For a moment, as we chit-chat and make our way to the coffee stand, it's like those seven years never happened, and I'm hanging out with my best friend again.
He orders two coffees, one just the way I always liked it. It's crazy, but he stills knows me, even after all this time.
He gives me a smile, one of those smiles that always melted me, and I feel an ache in my chest again. That smile still has the same effect on me, I'm afraid.
"I hope you know this is on me." he says, and I manage a laugh.
"If you say so." I smile back at him, as genuinely as possible.
The smile begins to slip from his lips as he stands there, looking at me. His eyes begin to soften, and I notice an emotion that's completely unreadable to me.
Suddenly, he's breaking the space between us, and before I can say a word, his arms are around me, hugging me tight. I feel tears threatening my eyes. I've missed this. So much.
"I've missed you..." he whispers. "So much, Chlo."
*We laughed about old times
And all we went through
And that's when he hugged me
And said "I've missed you"*
It's at that moment that I can't take it anymore.
A single tear falls from my eye, as I remember the real reason why I left- as I feel it.
It was him.
I left because of him.
I loved him, more than anything in this world, and hell, I still do.
But I left.
I left not just because I felt like I was maybe holding him back. I left because, in all reality, Clark was holding me back. How was I ever going to move on if I just stuck to his side like a knot on a log?
So I did what I felt was best for me, and I left town.
But as I stand here, wrapped in his big, strong arms again, I find myself wondering just how well I've moved on.
*And still
The world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel*
He pulls back from our hug just as the coffee vendor is about to present our drinks.
He reaches into his pocket for his wallet, and looks up at the vendor.
"How much will it be, Arnie?" he asks, and I want to laugh.
This time seven years ago, it would have been me who knew the coffee vendors by name.
"For you, Mr. Kent? Three-Fifty." The man says with a smile.
Clark returns it as he pulls out a bill.
As he does, I notice something thin and rectangular fall out, landing on the sidewalk in front of me.
My brow creases as I reach down to pick it up.
"Clark, you... dropped... something..."
My voice trails off into dead silence as I realize what the slightly tattered card in my hand is.
I look up at him, a bit confused.
He's turned around at this point, both cups in his hands. His face falls somewhat as he realizes what I have.
"Clark, this is... one of the tickets to the Spring Formal, Freshman Year." I glance down at it a moment, looking it over, and then look back up at him. "You... you kept yours?"
He swallows hard, and something in his face tells me that he doesn't want to tell the truth.
But he nods slowly, and gives me a sad smile. "Of course I did." he says softly, and holds my coffee out to me. "You... you were my first date, Chloe. That was... our first date."
He's looking down as he says it, and that just makes me hurt even more.
"C-Clark..." I murmur, but then stop myself.
He glances up, and gives me another sad and forced smile, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
It's only then that I notice the ring on his left hand.
A wedding band, no doubt.
And that makes me feel even more guilty for how I feel right now.
"That night was... special to me, Chloe." he says, breaking my thoughts. "I'll always cherish it."
What is he telling me? I ask myself, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I wonder if he can hear it. Did he... could he have possibly... no. He didn't love me, too, did he?
*Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him
Still*
Our eyes are still locked on each other when I suddenly hear a familiar voice approaching us.
"Hey, honey, who's your friend?"
My eyes widen slightly as we both turn to look at the leggy brunette at our sides.
Her brows wrinkle in confusion, then widen. "Chloe?"
I give her the best smile I can muster.
"Hey, Lois."
She jumps at the chance to give me a hug, and as he arms move around me, I see the diamond ring on her finger.
Lois then turns to Clark.
"Good job, honey. You found my cousin." she says with a grin, and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Wow." I murmur. "You two are married."
My big cousin laughs. "Yep. For four years now. Funny how the love bug just sneaks up on you sometimes, isn't it?"
I continue to smile and nods, trying my hardest to hide my pain.
*That's when she walked up to him
He said "this is my wife"
I gave my best smile
But I was dying inside*
"So, Chloe, how long are you in town?" Lois asks, with big, excited eyes.
"Oh, actually, I'm on my way out."
"Oh, man! Really?" She frowns, looking disappointed. "We're meeting Lucy and the General. You should stay, join us. I'm sure they'd love to see you."
I shake my head sadly. "I'm sorry, I can't... really. My boss is expecting me."
Lois begins to pout, just a little. "Alright then... but please come back and see us sometime, cuz. We really miss you."
"I miss you, too." I whisper.
Lois looks from me to Clark, and then back again.
"Well... we should probably go, right, honey? The General is expecting us any minute. And you know him... he hates when we show up late."
"Um... right." Clark nods, as if he's not sure what else to say.
Lois squeals and hugs me again. "It was so good to see you, cuz!"
Then Clark gives me a one-armed hug, still keeping a death grip on his coffee.
"Yeah... it was wonderful seeing you." He swallows hard. "Bye, Chloe."
My cousin gives me a little wave, then grabs her husband's arm.
*He said "we gotta go now
It's getting late
It was so good to see you"
And then they walked away*
They start to walk away, headed off to whatever restauraunt her family is waiting, leaving me alone to deal with my realizations.
At the last moment, just as they're about to turn a corner, Clark turns back to look at me, a sad look on his face, one that I understand all too well now.
I wave at him, and then, suddenly, he's out of my sight.
*And still
My world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel*
But something else isn't.
I glance down and realize the Spring Formal ticket is still in my hand.
He didn't take it back.
*Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him...*
Maybe it's a sign.
Maybe it isn't.
He let me keep it.
Maybe this is his way of letting go.
Maybe.
And maybe it's time I did, too.
*...Still...*