'Poetry Hour With Riona's Family' Would Be Fairly Unsuccessful.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, oh, dear, I fear my parents may be becoming concerned by my uneventful love life. An exchange I recently had with my father via the incomprehensible medium of Google Wave:

Riona's Father: Loved the VD Post!

MY DEAREST HARRIET
YOU COULD BE PALLY YET.
IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU WITH THEIR LARIAT
DON'T DILLY-DALLY, PET

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Comments

[rustydragonfly]

..I think you have just come up with a way to make Big Brother worth watching! I don't think I can top that.

Though I did once quote in my journal after talking about Top Gear and Postman Pat:

I am not aware of the existence of any story in which Pat and Jess cross Africa in a Royal Mail van, though having said that, I WANT to be.

I'm just not sure if it would turn into an epic Pat/Royal Mail van love story...

[rionaleonhart]

My memories of Postman Pat are very vague indeed, but I agree that that needs to exist. (Pat/van should at the very least be heavily implied.)

[wanttobeatree]

Pat/van should at the very least be heavily implied.

I think you have officially destroyed my childhood :|

[rionaleonhart]

...at least I wasn't suggesting Pat/Jess?

[wolfy_writing]

I'm developing this weird vicarious love for your family. They're just awesomely strange and adorable.

Shows...the utterly plotless Brainiac knock-off that consists entirely of Richard Hammond blowing things up and being gleeful about it. This might become unfortunately pornographic.

Derren Brown's Vampire Adventures. He runs around hypnotizing people, sucking their blood, and generally being vampiric, while giving the camera a fanged smile and telling everyone it's all misdirection.

The unfortunately titled Torching Human Gear where Torchwood goes after Mitchell, Annie, and George, on the assumption that they must have something to do with aliens in some way, and Team Top Gear charge in to save them. George initially panics, but when it's clear that both the government people hunting them down and the rescuers are hopelessly incompetent, he manages to calm down

[rionaleonhart]

My family are a bit mad, but I do love them so.

Also, all of these ideas are amazing.

I've seen very little Brainiac, but I was under the impression that it already consisted entirely of Richard Hammond blowing things up and being gleeful about it.

while giving the camera a fanged smile and telling everyone it's all misdirection

Ahahaha! Oh, Derren, you terrifying man.

I love Torching Human Gear. I'd love to see how a clash between Torchwood and the Top Gear trio would go.

I would watch The Annie Gets Cuddled Hour! I would buy the DVD!

Ammunition Dump Challenge is just horrifying genius.

[wolfy_writing]

Brainiac has staggering quantities of Richard Hammond blowing things up and being gleeful about it (they kill more caravans than Top Gear does, and there's an entire segment that seems to be nothing but sticking inappropriate things in microwaves and watching them explode), but it also involves stuff like a man walking on custard, and testing whether looking at breasts provides the same cardiovascular benefits as healthy exercise (it doesn't

[dracothelizard]

I would actually love a Being Human spinoff called The Annie Makes Random Guests Tea Hour, in which different guests come over and Annie makes them tea and they have a nice chat and maybe some cuddles. I'm sure Annie would be an excellent chatshow host.

[reipan]

You know who else found this post hilarious? My dad. I think our parents have a bit too much in common.

[rionaleonhart]

It is quite reassuring that I have met your dad and therefore know that, if we were fathered by the same person, his powers of disguise would have to be extremely cunning.

[reipan]

Which reminds me - upon rereading the second half of your post - that I have finished watching Avatar with some Cambridge types, and we are now trying to come up with an appropriate alternative cast drawn from our respective acquaintaincehoods. I think Yuffie should be Tai Lee. (The jury's out as to whether I am Zuko or Iroh.) Who would you be?

[rionaleonhart]

Hooray for Avatar! I like to think I'd be Sokka; might that work? (Of the two, I'd say you're more Iroh-ish. You've moved steadily towards him on the Zuko-Iroh scale over time.)

[fastfoodjunkie]

Springwatch, with Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell.

Or, or, Two Men In A Boat, with Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell.

Really just anything where they're put out of their comfort zones (if they actually HAVE comfort zones) and forced to spend an inordinate amount of time in each other's company, preferably in a small space!

"Oh, let me just stop you there David, apparently we've got some exciting footage coming in from Simon King up in the Shetlands, of uhh...Oh. Well, apparently it's geese. Great. Whoopee Doo. More of those boring bloody biting bastard geese. I hope they peck his stupid ars"....*swift cut to Simon*

[rionaleonhart]

I would watch these with such delight. You're right: attach 'with Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell' to almost anything and it is automatically a winning formula.

Ahahaha, the lack of enthusiasm is wonderful.

[subtle_rift]

I have to admit I had no idea what a Lariat was. I still don't. I checked the Wikipedia page, and now I can only assume that your father is suggesting that your potential partner be the one who successfully restrains and presumably kidnaps you specifically by means of a lasso, the one who defeats his peers in hand to hand combat but while only using over-the-top flamboyant and infective wresting moves, the one who is first able to somehow modify your genotype such that your attraction to him is expressed overwhelmingly in your phenotype, or the guy who has the pimpingest Ford F-series. Please could you clarify.

[rionaleonhart]

I assumed he meant a lasso, but, now that I think about it, 'grabs you in a wrestling move' could also make (at least a sort of) sense. I know you'll read this, Dad; could you clarify for subtle_rift's benefit?

[subtle_rift]

They all seem rather specific - why not a net gun or a suplex for example? Unless he was talking about two separate things - "Harriet, it's not too late to get a boyfriend. Also, if someone attempts to grab you with a lasso, run away." Seems like sound advice.

[rionaleonhart]

Pronouncing 'net gun' in such a way that it rhymes with 'Harriet' is a bit on the tricky side, but I very much like the 'run away' interpretation.