'Poetry Hour With Riona's Family' Would Be Fairly Unsuccessful.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, oh, dear, I fear my parents may be becoming concerned by my uneventful love life. An exchange I recently had with my father via the incomprehensible medium of Google Wave:

Riona's Father: Loved the VD Post!

MY DEAREST HARRIET
YOU COULD BE PALLY YET.
IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU WITH THEIR LARIAT
DON'T DILLY-DALLY, PET

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Comments

[subtle_rift]

I have to admit I had no idea what a Lariat was. I still don't. I checked the Wikipedia page, and now I can only assume that your father is suggesting that your potential partner be the one who successfully restrains and presumably kidnaps you specifically by means of a lasso, the one who defeats his peers in hand to hand combat but while only using over-the-top flamboyant and infective wresting moves, the one who is first able to somehow modify your genotype such that your attraction to him is expressed overwhelmingly in your phenotype, or the guy who has the pimpingest Ford F-series. Please could you clarify.

[rionaleonhart]

I assumed he meant a lasso, but, now that I think about it, 'grabs you in a wrestling move' could also make (at least a sort of) sense. I know you'll read this, Dad; could you clarify for subtle_rift's benefit?

[subtle_rift]

They all seem rather specific - why not a net gun or a suplex for example? Unless he was talking about two separate things - "Harriet, it's not too late to get a boyfriend. Also, if someone attempts to grab you with a lasso, run away." Seems like sound advice.

[rionaleonhart]

Pronouncing 'net gun' in such a way that it rhymes with 'Harriet' is a bit on the tricky side, but I very much like the 'run away' interpretation.

[subtle_rift]

Harriet, your more than old enough for some boyfriend fun,
But not the kind that starts with the use of a net gun,
unless they're dressed like team rocket and just gave you a Pikachu,
'cause if that's the case, that guy really knows you.

La riata (n). Verb

[subtle_rift]

An interesting example of the metaphoric creation of new meanings: I guess that the gene splicing refers to the shape of the lariat and that the wrestling hold always refers to both form and function. On the other hand the pick-up truck name is simply an evocation of the great American adventure.

But I think it has the right macho connotations - so the fourth line should read:
"If someone has you in their Lariat"

BTW, TWIMC - Apart from the prose quality, I read Riona's livejournal for the occasional insight it gives into her formative family life - I try not to understand the other stuff.