Mirrors and handcuffs, and trust exercises oh my. I repeat. Oh my. :D "making her vibrate like a bowstring" is such a beautiful line and I love all of Veronica's inner nagging thoughts, it's so true to who she is, but of course she needs Logan!
I love the scenery too, and the imagery: "Cuddling her closer, he brushed kissed through her flaxen hair as she nestled into his chest. “Me too, Babe. Me too.” "
I've been to North Carolina before so the sights I already know, and added with that visual, it warms the heart. Though I think there should be a word or a comma between "brushed kissed"? Anyway, must read next part now!
Thanks so much for the kind words - I'm delighted to know my descriptions of North Carolina passed the test. Truthfully, I've never been, but after doing my research for this, I'm determined to go. Btw: if you'd be so kind as to tell me where the "brushed kissed" thing is, I'll fix it. Thanks.
"Cuddling her closer, he brushed kissed through her flaxen hair as she nestled into his chest. “Me too, Babe. Me too.” "
It was here in the line I quoted, and the only reason I noticed it was because I had to re-read it! You can always edit, and then find on this page if you are still having trouble locating it.
Definitely check out N.C. sometime. It's a lot of fun and great for caving. :)
Okay -- Liking the first part and will leave more comments later -- quick nit-picky thing: In some ways, Lilly was a child, even at was seventeen. An extra "was" in there? Okay -- to the next part.... -- AC
Thank you for the encouragement; I'm happy you enjoyed the first part, and thanks for spotting the error. Unfortunately, I'm sure there are a couple more somewhere. But thanks for reading and commenting.
I know this is horribly late and I'm a worthless git, but you feel sorry for me and will forgive me, no? ;-)
Let me begin by saying that this is one of, if not the best, fic you've ever done. It's rife with subtext, text, and teeming with emotion. I've read it several times over, and love it more each time.
The beginning of the fic--where you set up their fight, their temporary reconciliation--is wonderfully orchestrated. The attention to detail is just FANtastic. He nodded up at Keith and Veronica as the cue slid through his supple fingers. Veronica flinched at the loud crack, the balls clicking and clacking as they scattered across the worn green felt. Two solids, the marigold and maroon, found their way into pockets as Logan leaned his stick against the wall and gestured to a small table in the corner. is, as you probably have already guessed, my favorite part
( ... )
Then there's THIS: She snugged closer, until her lips brushing his ear. “Oh, baby. Fuck me, please.”
With a drawn-out groan, he plunged into her, burying his dick deep inside. Locking her knees, Veronica flexed and rolled her hips, taking him even further. Pinioned and unable to move her arms, she pressed her face into his sinewy neck, gasping and biting as he pulled away drove into her repeatedly. Guuuuuuuuuuuh.
I will admit, it's sort of insulting my skills as a beta when I correct a word that doesn't exist in the edit, and you DON'T CHANGE IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHICH WORD I MEAN. *harumphs*
I am impressed with the research you did into Outward Bound--probably because I'm lazy and wouldn't have done it myself, LOL. But little notes--like the "Leave No Trace" Policy, really reinforces the reason they're on the vacation, but also brings lovely detail to the fic.
The foreshadowing HERE: Absently, she wondered if he heard the same voices she did, saw the ghostly bodies standing between them, felt the pull of the past. It
( ... )
Comments 7
"making her vibrate like a bowstring" is such a beautiful line and I love all of Veronica's inner nagging thoughts, it's so true to who she is, but of course she needs Logan!
I love the scenery too, and the imagery: "Cuddling her closer, he brushed kissed through her flaxen hair as she nestled into his chest. “Me too, Babe. Me too.” "
I've been to North Carolina before so the sights I already know, and added with that visual, it warms the heart. Though I think there should be a word or a comma between "brushed kissed"? Anyway, must read next part now!
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It was here in the line I quoted, and the only reason I noticed it was because I had to re-read it! You can always edit, and then find on this page if you are still having trouble locating it.
Definitely check out N.C. sometime. It's a lot of fun and great for caving. :)
Reply
Reply
Reply
Let me begin by saying that this is one of, if not the best, fic you've ever done. It's rife with subtext, text, and teeming with emotion. I've read it several times over, and love it more each time.
The beginning of the fic--where you set up their fight, their temporary reconciliation--is wonderfully orchestrated. The attention to detail is just FANtastic. He nodded up at Keith and Veronica as the cue slid through his supple fingers. Veronica flinched at the loud crack, the balls clicking and clacking as they scattered across the worn green felt. Two solids, the marigold and maroon, found their way into pockets as Logan leaned his stick against the wall and gestured to a small table in the corner. is, as you probably have already guessed, my favorite part ( ... )
Reply
Then there's THIS: She snugged closer, until her lips brushing his ear. “Oh, baby. Fuck me, please.”
With a drawn-out groan, he plunged into her, burying his dick deep inside. Locking her knees, Veronica flexed and rolled her hips, taking him even further. Pinioned and unable to move her arms, she pressed her face into his sinewy neck, gasping and biting as he pulled away drove into her repeatedly. Guuuuuuuuuuuh.
I will admit, it's sort of insulting my skills as a beta when I correct a word that doesn't exist in the edit, and you DON'T CHANGE IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHICH WORD I MEAN. *harumphs*
I am impressed with the research you did into Outward Bound--probably because I'm lazy and wouldn't have done it myself, LOL. But little notes--like the "Leave No Trace" Policy, really reinforces the reason they're on the vacation, but also brings lovely detail to the fic.
The foreshadowing HERE: Absently, she wondered if he heard the same voices she did, saw the ghostly bodies standing between them, felt the pull of the past. It ( ... )
Reply
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