Then there's THIS: She snugged closer, until her lips brushing his ear. “Oh, baby. Fuck me, please.”
With a drawn-out groan, he plunged into her, burying his dick deep inside. Locking her knees, Veronica flexed and rolled her hips, taking him even further. Pinioned and unable to move her arms, she pressed her face into his sinewy neck, gasping and biting as he pulled away drove into her repeatedly. Guuuuuuuuuuuh.
I will admit, it's sort of insulting my skills as a beta when I correct a word that doesn't exist in the edit, and you DON'T CHANGE IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHICH WORD I MEAN. *harumphs*
I am impressed with the research you did into Outward Bound--probably because I'm lazy and wouldn't have done it myself, LOL. But little notes--like the "Leave No Trace" Policy, really reinforces the reason they're on the vacation, but also brings lovely detail to the fic.
The foreshadowing HERE: Absently, she wondered if he heard the same voices she did, saw the ghostly bodies standing between them, felt the pull of the past. It certainly didn’t seem like it. is really subtle, and that's what I love, that it doesn't come back to bite the reader until almost the END of part 2. I have much love for this entire fic, but that's another favorite bit.
Then there's THIS: She snugged closer, until her lips brushing his ear. “Oh, baby. Fuck me, please.”
With a drawn-out groan, he plunged into her, burying his dick deep inside. Locking her knees, Veronica flexed and rolled her hips, taking him even further. Pinioned and unable to move her arms, she pressed her face into his sinewy neck, gasping and biting as he pulled away drove into her repeatedly. Guuuuuuuuuuuh.
I will admit, it's sort of insulting my skills as a beta when I correct a word that doesn't exist in the edit, and you DON'T CHANGE IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHICH WORD I MEAN. *harumphs*
I am impressed with the research you did into Outward Bound--probably because I'm lazy and wouldn't have done it myself, LOL. But little notes--like the "Leave No Trace" Policy, really reinforces the reason they're on the vacation, but also brings lovely detail to the fic.
The foreshadowing HERE: Absently, she wondered if he heard the same voices she did, saw the ghostly bodies standing between them, felt the pull of the past. It certainly didn’t seem like it. is really subtle, and that's what I love, that it doesn't come back to bite the reader until almost the END of part 2. I have much love for this entire fic, but that's another favorite bit.
....Now, on to part 2!...
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