30 Days of Books, Day 5
The entries-so-far:
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Today: Day 05 - A book or series you hate
Okay, there are books that have bored me -- the much lauded, but to me utterly snooze-worthy Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear, as one example. Books that made me laugh for all the wrong reasons -- Lynsay Sands's Rogue Hunter, with her vampires-from-Atlantis who sink their fangs into bags of blood and are about sexy, mysterious, and dangerous as a wet sock of sand. There are books that are too dumb to have cost the life of a tree -- Statue of Limitations by Tamar Myers.
Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, so bad I couldn't even make it out of the first chapter. Could not stand Sookie from the first words out of her mouth -- something that is absolutely fatal in a 1st person POV story -- and when, admitting she didn't have a clue what to do, she picks up a tire chain and lays out the evil crackers out to drain vampires, I rolled my eyes and threw the paperback across the room. There was a time I would have stuck it out to the bitter end, but of late I've concluded life is way too short to waste on things I don't like.
The Gingerbread Man by Maggie Shayne started out decently enough, but about midway through it becomes pretty clear who the perp is, and what the twisty ending is going to be, and that kind of thing just sinks any kind of mystery for me. Not so bad I'll never pick up another book by her, but I will approach with caution.
Better Read Than Dead by Victoria Laurie sort of straddles books I hate and books that disappointed, because I'd really enjoyed the first book in this series about Abby Cooper, psychic private eye. This second book, however, was a major dud and killed the series for me. It was very muddled for one thing, with scenes that had no reason to be there, such as Abby going downstairs to get a glass of water, and you're expecting something dramatic and scary to happen ... and she just gets a glass of water and goes back to bed. *yawn* Then there's her relationship with her cop boyfriend, which after making some progress at the end of the first book simply returns to the starting point and spins its wheels, and after years of that with Stephanie Plum I am not going down that road again, The heroine's hysterical hissyfit over everything the boyfriend says and does also didn't help. You know it's bad when you're muttering to the heroine, "Babe, take a Midol already."
Ghost of a Chance by Amy Patricia Meade, was another hugely bad sophomore novel. The first book in the series, Million Dollar Baby, had its flaws, but was basically pulled together fairly well. This one, everything that was wrong in the first book was on-steroids wrong in this one, but its worst sin was in being a really, horrifically badly constructed mystery. OK, here's the set up of the murder: The victim is killed when he's struck by a dart tipped with curare, and there was a mysterious woman glimpsed in the immediate vicinity. So, round about chapter three who do the detectives interview? A mysterious woman who happens to own a pharmaceutical company, which has -- you guessed it! -- supplies of curare. Oh, but, she's confined to a wheel chair because of poor health so, of course, she could not possibly be the killer. *rolls eyes* Sorry, when you've read a million and one mysteries, that kind of thing pops out like a 3-D stiletto.
Body Movers by Stephanie Bond is just OMG awful. First, it's a total rip-off of Nancy Martin's books about the Blackbird Sisters, suffering the consequences of their parents absconding with the family fortune. Exact same set up here, only with a sister-brother left to fend for themselves. The brother, described in the blurbs as charming, comes across as a budding sociopath, and the sister, our heroine ... "Hi, I'm Carlotta, and whine whine blah blah whine." Again, life is too short.
My major wrath, however, is reserved for The Trouble With Magic by Madelyn Alt. Oh, how to hate this book? Let me count the ways.
1. It's yet another one trying to copy the Stephanie Plum formula, and not even coming close to the good parts of that.
2. It presents itself as a witchy, paranormal mystery, and yes, there are scenes of the heroine joining a local coven and starting to learn about the psychic gifts she has -- there's even one scene that was really good, with some spooky atmosphere and everything -- but there's no follow through to speak of. Because,
3. the actual mystery plays like a script rejected by Murder, She Wrote. Banal and routine in every way. Oh but!--
4. The heroine, up to this point displaying no ninja skills whatever, suddenly has the ability to lay into the killer with kicks and karate chops worthy of Mrs. Peel. *rolls eyes*
5. And then, to top it off, at the very end the author has the gall to both acknowledge the bait-and-switch that occurred (Hah! Thought you were going to get a paranormal mystery, did you?) and to tease that, if you'll play the sucker one more time in the next book there might be something spooky scary.
Yeah, thanks but no thanks.
Bad reading experiences as these all were, however, each one was also tremendously educational. I have this theory, see, that in some ways you can learn more about writing by reading examples like these, where it's badly done, as they so clearly illustrate what not to do.
So, I have learned much from bad books I've read, and so a certain round of applause is due them.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Today: Day 05 - A book or series you hate
Okay, there are books that have bored me -- the much lauded, but to me utterly snooze-worthy Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear, as one example. Books that made me laugh for all the wrong reasons -- Lynsay Sands's Rogue Hunter, with her vampires-from-Atlantis who sink their fangs into bags of blood and are about sexy, mysterious, and dangerous as a wet sock of sand. There are books that are too dumb to have cost the life of a tree -- Statue of Limitations by Tamar Myers.
Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, so bad I couldn't even make it out of the first chapter. Could not stand Sookie from the first words out of her mouth -- something that is absolutely fatal in a 1st person POV story -- and when, admitting she didn't have a clue what to do, she picks up a tire chain and lays out the evil crackers out to drain vampires, I rolled my eyes and threw the paperback across the room. There was a time I would have stuck it out to the bitter end, but of late I've concluded life is way too short to waste on things I don't like.
The Gingerbread Man by Maggie Shayne started out decently enough, but about midway through it becomes pretty clear who the perp is, and what the twisty ending is going to be, and that kind of thing just sinks any kind of mystery for me. Not so bad I'll never pick up another book by her, but I will approach with caution.
Better Read Than Dead by Victoria Laurie sort of straddles books I hate and books that disappointed, because I'd really enjoyed the first book in this series about Abby Cooper, psychic private eye. This second book, however, was a major dud and killed the series for me. It was very muddled for one thing, with scenes that had no reason to be there, such as Abby going downstairs to get a glass of water, and you're expecting something dramatic and scary to happen ... and she just gets a glass of water and goes back to bed. *yawn* Then there's her relationship with her cop boyfriend, which after making some progress at the end of the first book simply returns to the starting point and spins its wheels, and after years of that with Stephanie Plum I am not going down that road again, The heroine's hysterical hissyfit over everything the boyfriend says and does also didn't help. You know it's bad when you're muttering to the heroine, "Babe, take a Midol already."
Ghost of a Chance by Amy Patricia Meade, was another hugely bad sophomore novel. The first book in the series, Million Dollar Baby, had its flaws, but was basically pulled together fairly well. This one, everything that was wrong in the first book was on-steroids wrong in this one, but its worst sin was in being a really, horrifically badly constructed mystery. OK, here's the set up of the murder: The victim is killed when he's struck by a dart tipped with curare, and there was a mysterious woman glimpsed in the immediate vicinity. So, round about chapter three who do the detectives interview? A mysterious woman who happens to own a pharmaceutical company, which has -- you guessed it! -- supplies of curare. Oh, but, she's confined to a wheel chair because of poor health so, of course, she could not possibly be the killer. *rolls eyes* Sorry, when you've read a million and one mysteries, that kind of thing pops out like a 3-D stiletto.
Body Movers by Stephanie Bond is just OMG awful. First, it's a total rip-off of Nancy Martin's books about the Blackbird Sisters, suffering the consequences of their parents absconding with the family fortune. Exact same set up here, only with a sister-brother left to fend for themselves. The brother, described in the blurbs as charming, comes across as a budding sociopath, and the sister, our heroine ... "Hi, I'm Carlotta, and whine whine blah blah whine." Again, life is too short.
My major wrath, however, is reserved for The Trouble With Magic by Madelyn Alt. Oh, how to hate this book? Let me count the ways.
1. It's yet another one trying to copy the Stephanie Plum formula, and not even coming close to the good parts of that.
2. It presents itself as a witchy, paranormal mystery, and yes, there are scenes of the heroine joining a local coven and starting to learn about the psychic gifts she has -- there's even one scene that was really good, with some spooky atmosphere and everything -- but there's no follow through to speak of. Because,
3. the actual mystery plays like a script rejected by Murder, She Wrote. Banal and routine in every way. Oh but!--
4. The heroine, up to this point displaying no ninja skills whatever, suddenly has the ability to lay into the killer with kicks and karate chops worthy of Mrs. Peel. *rolls eyes*
5. And then, to top it off, at the very end the author has the gall to both acknowledge the bait-and-switch that occurred (Hah! Thought you were going to get a paranormal mystery, did you?) and to tease that, if you'll play the sucker one more time in the next book there might be something spooky scary.
Yeah, thanks but no thanks.
Bad reading experiences as these all were, however, each one was also tremendously educational. I have this theory, see, that in some ways you can learn more about writing by reading examples like these, where it's badly done, as they so clearly illustrate what not to do.
So, I have learned much from bad books I've read, and so a certain round of applause is due them.