Feelings are always OK. I still have trouble with this too. But if you try to make a feeling be "not OK" and go away, it only gets bigger. Feelings aren't always *fun*, but they're always ok, even when they're ugly. And they never last forever. You can't choose your feelings, only what you do about them.
So much of your post seems familiar, and *that* was a shitty time. No one deserves to be there, but it happens to everyone.
You are not worth being made to feel bad. But you do deserve to be made to feel great. You've always seemed like one of the Good Guys at heart. That's probably why you feel like ass right now, but it's better than the alternative.
Big hugs, hot chocolate, cartoons, whatever helps you feel better, I'm sending you that now "virtual." Give yourself some comfort IRL. Seriously. And more hugs.
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Feelings are always OK. I still have trouble with this too. But if you try to make a feeling be "not OK" and go away, it only gets bigger. Feelings aren't always *fun*, but they're always ok, even when they're ugly. And they never last forever. You can't choose your feelings, only what you do about them.
So much of your post seems familiar, and *that* was a shitty time. No one deserves to be there, but it happens to everyone.
You are not worth being made to feel bad. But you do deserve to be made to feel great. You've always seemed like one of the Good Guys at heart. That's probably why you feel like ass right now, but it's better than the alternative.
Big hugs, hot chocolate, cartoons, whatever helps you feel better, I'm sending you that now "virtual." Give yourself some comfort IRL. Seriously. And more hugs.
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