Wanted - Jack/Ianto
Title: Wanted [2 of 2]
Author: rheasilva_18
Rating: 15 (just)
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Toshiko, Gwen and Owen
Warnings: Bad language.
Spoilers: Set during series 1
Song Prompt: Too Lost In You by Sugababes
Part of the 'Just a Thought' series.
Summary: Has someone ever made you feel so wanted by just simply looking at you? This is what Ianto had wondered ever since he started working at Torchwood, ever since he had met the inevitable Captain Jack Harkness.
Disclaimer: The song and characters do not belong to me. All have their owners and I am only borrowing them for entertainment purposes. No infringement intended.
A/N: Thanks so much for the great comments on Part 1. I'm glad everyone enjoyed it so here is Part 2 :)
~*~
Knock. Knock. Knock.
More like BANG. BANG. BANG. Somehow even the faint tap on my door feels like an explosion in my head.
“Ianto! Come on let me in,” Jack shouted through the letterbox. Ianto snuggled up more on his sofa, pulling the duvet over his head and holding the material over his ears.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
“I’m fine, Sir!” Ianto shouted loudly from his hideaway under his duvet. He heard the squeak of the letterbox being pushed open again.
“I don’t believe you. Just open the door and let me in.”
Ianto listened for the metal hole in his door to rattle shut again but it didn’t happen. He sighed dramatically before throwing the cover from his head and slowly getting up; the tenderness of his ribs made him wince and stall.
He’s actually looking through my letter box, just like a kid on Halloween impatiently waiting for sweets.
Jack let the flap shut and Ianto opened the door slowly.
“See, fine and dandy, now will you go?” I said and Jack gave me an irritated glance. I’m not going to get rid of him that easily.
“Can I come in?”
“What for?” I just want to be left alone. Please leave me alone.
“Please.”
I let him walk into my flat and into my living room. How does he do that? One word and I’m bowing down to his commands. He stands by the sofa, arms held behind his back as he watches me catch up and slowly shuffle into the room. He’s not smiling.
“Do you want some coffee?” Ianto asked, waving his hand in the direction of the kitchen.
“No, I’m okay thanks.”
Ianto nodded and gestured for Jack to take a seat. He does so, on the armchair opposite the sofa which Ianto slumped back into.
“So,” Ianto mumbled once he finds a comfortable position to settle his aching ribs. “What do you want?”
“To see if you’re okay,” Jack replied. “I’ve already rang Gwen and been over to Owen’s.”
“What about Tosh?”
“She’s gone to visit some family and she told me to tell you she’d ring you at some point.”
Ianto nodded. “How are you?”
“You’re really asking me that? I’m more concerned about you at the moment.” Jack lent forwards in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands together.
He’s looking at me like that again. The last time was when I was sitting on the bumper of the SUV, being looked over by the paramedics and I could see Jack behind them, watching with concern and worry.
“I’m okay,” I lied. Not okay, not anywhere near okay. My nightmares stop me sleeping and the lack of sleep stops me from living properly but Jack doesn’t need to know that. I don’t need him to help me.
“Somehow I don’t believe you.”
I didn’t answer him.
“Come on Ianto. Talk to me.”
Ianto looked at him and swallowed hard. Jack was obviously, generally concerned.
I can’t let him in.
“Ianto,” he whispered, edging him on. I physically shivered.
“I’m not sleeping,” Ianto answered. “I’m tired, so tired but I can’t sleep because I’m scared.” Ianto was slightly stunned by his openness.
“Anything else?”
He wants more? I sigh and pull the duvet closer around me. “Yes actually. I’m still a little confused.” Jack frowns at me slightly and sticks out his chin in thought.
“Well,” he began. “I don’t understand much about it myself. I don’t know what I can say to make it any better but from what I can gather, those people were more than likely psychologically ill and that’s why-”
“No,” I stopped him. “I’m confused about what you said at the camp site.”
Jack deepened his frown. “Okay...”
“You lied to Gwen when she asked you.”
“Ianto, I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about-”
“Who was your last kiss, Jack?”
Jack raised his eyebrows. “Err,” he mumbled as he looked around the room as he released a held breath. “Look, I only said what I said because I didn’t think it was appropriate to reveal our personal business to the rest of the team.”
“Okay. Suppose that was the best idea,” Ianto said plainly.
“I didn’t expect you to be asking me that,” Jack smiled. “And come to think of it, you told that little white lie too.”
“I didn’t,” I defended quickly. “The last person I kissed was Lisa. You kissed me remember.” I saw Jack nod in agreement and stand up from his seat, stretching out his muscles.
“Glad that’s all cleared up then.” He took a quick glance to the clock on the fireplace. “I’ll leave you alone for a bit.”
“Wait,” I said quickly. “You’re not leaving, are you?” I suddenly had the unedifying need for company, hoping my nightmares might stay away from me for one night if I wasn’t fighting them alone. Jack was here, he was all I had at the moment.
Jack smiled a little and came closer to crouch down beside me. I caught his eyes as he reached for my cheek, cupping it softly then he ran his hand up and gently through my hair. It felt good to be touched with care other than violence and hatred.
“I’ll stay till you fall asleep,” Jack whispered and I sank into the sofa, laying my head down on the pillow. I felt Jack kiss my temple before I fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.
~*~
Toshiko was a mess. She hadn’t stopped crying for over an hour now and I felt like everything I said wasn’t helping.
“I was so stupid,” she spluttered into her tissue.
Ianto put his hand over the young woman’s own and squeezed it gently. “No you’re not. You’re the smartest person I know Tosh.”
She smiled faintly.
“Mary was smart too. She fooled everyone so don’t be put down by it, okay?”
“Thanks Ianto,” Toshiko smiled more and gave him a small hug. “I’ve bored you enough now; I better go and talk to Jack.” She stood up and left the boardroom, leaving Ianto alone. Ianto rubbed his face was his hands, she wasn’t the only one in need of a talk with the Captain. Everything that had happened today had made him think that if Toshiko was able to take some risks then maybe he should too.
Jack strode through the Hub to the sound of the blaring alarms by the door. He saw the younger man still sitting on the tatty sofa by the stairs which led down to the autopsy bay. It was late. Very late and he was surprised to come back to find someone sitting on his sofa.
“You’re still here?” Jack asked.
“How’s Toshiko?” Ianto inquired.
“I left her on the Plass, she’s okay.”
“That’s good,” Ianto watched his hands as he laced his fingers together in thought. I can smell Jack from here. That over powering scent that he’s always had when he’s been around me but now it seemed to be stronger. I’d like to know what it was, why me? I look up to him and smile.
“Can I ask you something?” I said.
“Sure,” Jack nodded and folded his arms across his chest.
“Are you lonely?” I know he is but I want to hear him tell me. I want to know how he really feels and if he feels anything for me he’ll tell me.
Jack sighed. “Sometimes I think I am.”
That was exactly what I wanted to hear. Not that I ever wish Jack to be lonely but now we have that in common it makes me feel more easy about what I think I should be doing. It also shows that he seems to want to talk to me; Jack never talks about himself like this.
“Is that all you wanted to know?”
Ianto shook his head softly and stood up from the sofa, crossed the floor so he stood just in front of the Captain. Jack let his arms fall loosely, holding down his defensive posture.
“Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?” Ianto asked quietly.
Jack opened his mouth to speak but took a deep breath before he did so. “I don’t think you know exactly what you’re saying-”
“I do, it’s all I’ve been thinking about since the first time you asked me.”
“And you left, you didn’t stay because you didn’t want to. What’s happened to make you suddenly change your mind?” Jack was confused.
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Just kiss me. I need you to give me something to think about.”
Here we are again. In the middle of the Hub, face to face and our breath was meeting each others as we stand silently watching. This is so different to the last time we were like this. Now I’m in control and I know what’s coming. I need Jack to kiss me. Please... kiss me.
Jack lent forwards slowly, almost nervously and let his lips travel over Ianto’s in a soft, tender kiss. He waited for a second for Ianto to pull away but soon he felt Ianto’s lips moving against his own. Jack smiled a little and pushed himself a little harder into the younger man’s body, invading his space and closing the gap between them. He felt Ianto respond to every movement.
They stopped before they got too carried away. This was just a kiss, just a thought, an experiment.
“You didn’t run away this time,” Jack whispered to me.
“This time it wasn’t so scary,” I replied weakly. That definitely wasn’t like the first time. My hands aren’t clammy, my heads not spinning and I’m in complete control. It felt natural. It felt right.
“I’ll give you some time to think.”Jack stepped away from Ianto and went into his office.
I’ve become lost in the inevitable Captain Jack Harkness. I feel like he actually wants me for who I am. I’ve not felt wanted for a long time. I’m sinking, like a rock in a pool and the only person who can save me is him. I don’t know how, I don’t know why but I want him.
Or is this just lust and false feelings I’m suddenly experiencing. I’ve seen people alone and I just don’t want to be a part of that. Am I kidding myself this is real? I’m not even sure Jack can give me what I want but he’s waiting for my decision. I know what I have to tell him.
Ianto tapped gently on the office door. When he heard the invite to come in he opened it slowly and saw Jack leaning back against his desk waiting for him. Ianto left the door open and took his position far enough away from the Captain.
“So?” Jack asked.
“I have two options.” Ianto began. “Either I can shut this door with me on the other side, running for my life.” Jack chuckled which relaxed Ianto slightly. “Or, I can shut this door with me still in here and stay, with you.”
Jack tilted his head and waited for an answer.
“Whatever I do is my decision,” I said watching Jack nod.
“And I’ll respect whatever you decide,” he replied and uncrossed his arms, bracing himself on the desk. Just looking at him like that, so open and waiting for me, I felt my stomach flip, I felt like a bloody teenager seeing their crush. All I can think about is what’s going to happen if I shut this door and stay with you. What you’d do to me and how you’d make me feel.
“Ianto, I wish you’d hurry up and tell me what you’re going to do.”
I laughed a little. I like the impatience, I can work with that. “Patience, Sir,” I smiled and before Jack had the time to retort I took a step back and closed the door and I made sure our eyes never left the others.
The door clicked shut.
“Are you sure?” Jack asked with a hint of surprise.
“Yes. I’m absolutely certain.”
Somehow I knew I was never going to regret that decision.
~End~
Sequel: Under You