I'm too emotionally distraught right now to comment clearly at all, but I'll try. This was such an emotional rollercoaster. First of all, some images that will haunt my dreams tonight -- Lily gathering her boys into safe haven like a mother hen, and the gang in the bathroom at the end. The color contrasts during the battle were so vivid -- green sky, red fire burning. Sirius realizing he's fighting his family is so poignant. I love your Mrs. Lupin. She knows all about lost childhoods, doesn't she? But she can't fix this one at all. When Sirius identifies the Light side as being Love -- I was reminded of Will in Susan Cooper's the Dark is Rising. Fighting for a place which is holy -- this kills me. Look how incoherent I am! Thank you, thank you.
Wow, what a spectacular piece of fiction! Battle/action scenes are all too rare in a lot of S/R fic and this one was just beautifully done; wonderful use of sensory imagery, insightful use of character motivation, and GREAT use of magic. I love that the premise, war depriving children of their innocence, was perfectly borne out by the battle as depicted. And the sad, yet oddly hopeful aftermath was so sensitively portrayed. Really, I am blown away by all you've done here.
I'll add one tiny bit of con-crit, and I hope I won't offend you, because, again, this is a wonderful, thrilling fic. But you have a few typos in it that are unintentionally funny, and it's a pity that they should mar such a fine piece of work (“stupidify” for "stupefy" is an example). Please consider having a beta run through it for you; it's really too good not to be seen at its best.
Haha! Hey, I'm fixing it right now. Gah, I know I need a beta, badly. I caught a few other things that I missed in my previous edits. I ALWAYS want constructive criticism. Bring it on!
So beautiful--made my heart clench. Mind if I link to it? The title is very fitting.
Peter is the first. AUGH. And Sirius confessing his love on the battlefield, the fact that they faced Voldemort--all those beautifully-wrought memories. Really lovely.
Comments 71
Reply
Reply
Reply
First of all, some images that will haunt my dreams tonight -- Lily gathering her boys into safe haven like a mother hen, and the gang in the bathroom at the end.
The color contrasts during the battle were so vivid -- green sky, red fire burning.
Sirius realizing he's fighting his family is so poignant.
I love your Mrs. Lupin. She knows all about lost childhoods, doesn't she? But she can't fix this one at all.
When Sirius identifies the Light side as being Love -- I was reminded of Will in Susan Cooper's the Dark is Rising.
Fighting for a place which is holy -- this kills me. Look how incoherent I am! Thank you, thank you.
Reply
Reply
I'll add one tiny bit of con-crit, and I hope I won't offend you, because, again, this is a wonderful, thrilling fic. But you have a few typos in it that are unintentionally funny, and it's a pity that they should mar such a fine piece of work (“stupidify” for "stupefy" is an example). Please consider having a beta run through it for you; it's really too good not to be seen at its best.
Reply
Thank you for the comments. Glad you liked it.
Reply
Reply
(And I love you icon!)
Reply
Peter is the first. AUGH. And Sirius confessing his love on the battlefield, the fact that they faced Voldemort--all those beautifully-wrought memories. Really lovely.
Reply
Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate it.
Reply
Leave a comment