i just really dont understand people. and the people i thought i understood.. i dont. anymore. im so confused about everything right now. and i hate this stupid journal. too many people read it. i think its time to make a completely private one.

the end.

everyone is leaving me. maybe i should leave too...

AFTER TODAY I AM DUNZO. MARK MY WORDS.

so instead of being upset and sad, im now starting to feel resentment and anger towards the things he does and is doing. i sure hope he misses me and the things i do for him when im gone...

myspace sucks.
people suck.
so many things suck.
as if im not having a bad enough week, month, year.. whatever, today sucked to go along with all that.

im seriously falling apart. i need help.

im still so unhappy. even though last night was good. all i can think about is hes going to be with other girls. and i cant do it. i dunno what to do and im tired of pretending im ok. im only ok when im not at home thinking about it. and going out 24/7 is not an option for me.

LAK;SJG[0WJ4LKGTAJW0P[U94LKGMXDLG;VA'RNBGH.B q'eikpjhre[

bad idea = getting completely trashed (off vodka no less) and having to work the next morning at 9am. yeah bad bad bad idea. i did have fun though. for sure. ill have to update later. i fucking love my girls. jackie, betina, casey, gynell, jessica. i love yall. and i loveeeeeeee the fray. and i loveeeeee hootie and the blowfish ( Read more... )

you know what makes me sick? like sick to my stomach? when im driving on the highway and i pass an 18 wheeler with cows in it. i just know where theyre going. and when they look through the holes of the truck its almost like i make eye contact with them and i just feel their pain and fear. it hurts me. i hate feeling helpless. i wish i could set ( Read more... )

i feel depression sinking in. but yet.. im somewhat at peace with this. how is that possible?

i cant do it. i cant be strong. i try and i try and i try. maybe tomorrow will be easier. who knows. but props to all you girls who deal with guys breaking your heart so easily. because.. yeah.. i cant stop crying. and when did it become ok for a slutty bitch with a boyfriend to hit on someone elses boyfriend? who does that? if i had the tits id ( Read more... )