my brain just wants a vacation. and by wants, I mean seems to be taking with or without permission.

[restless_jedi]

I'm closer to my equilibrium, but I fear that I will never again be the person who is so respectful of work that she doesn't swear in the building. Unfortunately, the drawback of how much I (quite often inadvertently) repress is that once my emotions are riled and released, well. The lid can't go back on Pandora's Box.

Comments

[shakespearsgrl2]

The bus driver thought you were a billboard? That's . . . odd.

Re: The rest of your life--your hotel management staff makes me sad. Also, you are thousands of kinds of more patient than I am, because I would have either called INS by now, or just quit. Depending on how much I theoretically need to be holding a job right now, leaning toward quitting.

And? I totally corrupted you with that Assassins thing, didn't I? SPREAD THE LOVE. (Suddenly wondering if love of murderers is a good thing to spread, but still.)

[restless_jedi]

Very odd. He was like "I thought she was there alone, I thought you were part of that sign," when I boarded with the only other person at the stop.

I have very selective patience. Called I swear and bitch a lot, but I know the issue isn't usually with management. And now I'm curious where this whole treating me like management thing is going to go. I don't want to get the whole business fined severely. And I do need a job. Moving back in with either parent is not an option, and people freak me out. I don't want to trust on my innocence and charm to find a new position when it's so urgent. I've done it before, but I didn't have the ridiculous hair back then and did have faith I could return to living with a relative if I had to.

You completely did, and I have been spreading it (and singing it at work). (Dude, I already had some nice murderer love, no worries)

[xsnarkasaurus]

...i'm stuck on the manager bus driver thinking you were a billboard.

omfg, i'm tired.

[restless_jedi]

Crazy thought, but have you considered sleep?

[xsnarkasaurus]

i *getting* sleep, honestly. I'm just waking up at least half a dozen times every night. it's getting fucking ridiculous.

[restless_jedi]

I do the same thing. It does suck.

[bluealoe]

Honestly, Brittany, it seriously sounds like you're being taken advantage of. Being treated like management shows you're incredibly capable and good at your job. And they're taking advantage of that by expecting you to take care of the spreadsheets on your own time and not giving you the salary, respect, etc that comes with increased responsibility. And they're just going to keep doing that until you either stand up for yourself or leave.

I'm not sure I would be able to stand up for myself in that position, because I hate confrontations. So I understand the difficulty, and the temptation of just keeping quiet. You have to decide the best path for yourself. But just remember that you are worth it, you're not a bad person, and you deserve more than what you're getting.