Comments | restless_jedi: One day I will quit using the word hobos as conversational filler

restless_jedi

One day I will quit using the word hobos as conversational filler

Nov 04, 2010 00:35

So. I have already written this post in my head; now I just gotta figure out how on earth to type it. ...yes, that probably means I should have gone to bed instead of futzing with my phone for hours.

Despite being relatively productive lately, sometimes I still feel like I've wasted my whole life. Like everything I do is selfish and pointless beyond ( Read more... )

meme, friends, psyche

Comments 5

bluealoe November 4 2010, 13:01:20 UTC

You're not selfish. You're a friend, a writer, a creative soul, and a good person. You're not wasting your life. If you really want to accomplish great things in your life, then go do them. You have the potential. Just put it into action.

restless_jedi November 7 2010, 01:13:25 UTC

There are middle steps. That's the part I'm not sure on. I know things are wrong. But I don't know how to fix them and I know the conventional methods would not work, particularly for me. And that's just my thoughts on politics!

I don't know what to do with myself. And I am selfish. In a way that might not usually come off as selfish, but I think all people, or at least most, are fundamentally selfish creatures.

bluealoe November 7 2010, 05:42:15 UTC

Being selfish is a natural thing, it ensures survival. But I also believe that most people are fundamentally good.

That middle step...yeah, I'm working on that, too. I totally understand.

xsnarkasaurus November 5 2010, 09:52:35 UTC

It makes me sad, too, when you're not open to new things, I can't lie. You, however, are not wasting your life. It's nto selfish or pointless. Sure, you've got some issues (who doesn't, omfg), but you're right. You're not as bad as you used to be. I mean, you and I aren't really close, but Linn does mention you, especially when she's really worried about you. Which just isn't as often as it was, all told. ~hugs you lots~

restless_jedi November 7 2010, 01:19:33 UTC

Thanks for the hugs.

I know I've been worse. But it's- It's hard to feel like I woke up 20 years into life and then spent the first 5 of those years trying to figure out what's what. And now I'm so far behind schedule! 25 years in which all I've accomplished is a lot of reading and a decent bit of learning myself. And learning how other people work, but the window of opportunity for so much has already closed! There are things that a person really can't learn past a certain age. Or at least, can only learn on the surface. They can't fully integrate because too many things have already gelled. I don't think I ever can learn diplomacy or to really interact with people in larger groups. And I don't know what else is unlearnable. And yes, maybe that means I should view the sky as the limit and stretch for anything. But maybe it means I should evaluate what I really want to reach for so I don't melt off my wings meanwhile ( ... )