The way it was in that fandom, I try to create around me.This comes near a point I decided not to bring up when I was writing this: personal accountability. You know what worked for you, so you do your part to create that atmosphere now. I tend to be fairly unsympathetic when it comes to particular behaviors, but few get to me the way make-believe martyrdom does. (This is true in RL as well as fandom, granted.) The folks who blame others for what they want but don't have are people I have a hard time communicating with, but that's partly because I'm not the competitive type. Someone else's success doesn't detract from anything I accomplish
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Seriously..I always thoughtcattraineMarch 2 2007, 20:26:45 UTC
BNF was a good thing...it seems to have been twisted fairly recently into something bad--by certain Wanna-Be BNFs, who appear to be more jealous and attention wanting then competitive. The only thing you can do is basically ignore the crap, and just enjoy your chosen fandom.
The "popularity" question has been gestating in my mind for a few months now, because I happened to read a bunch of different interviews with famous people who said basically the same thing--they were not popular in high school, they were weird, on the outside, unhappy. Then I read something else about one of those people basically saying, "She was a cheerleader and well-liked by everyone, teachers and students, and she was in five clubs!"
Which made me examine my own high school experience and have a sort of moment of understanding--I was not in the "in" crowd, but every one was nice to me and liked me and probably liked me more than I even knew. So even as I was feeling awkward and resentful and shy and scared, that was not what everyone else saw.
I think some people have not figured out how the social groups work yet and so are doomed to replay every high school insult--real or imagining, or unintentional-- over top of any social group they enter into, until they finally figure it out.
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Which made me examine my own high school experience and have a sort of moment of understanding--I was not in the "in" crowd, but every one was nice to me and liked me and probably liked me more than I even knew. So even as I was feeling awkward and resentful and shy and scared, that was not what everyone else saw.
I think some people have not figured out how the social groups work yet and so are doomed to replay every high school insult--real or imagining, or unintentional-- over top of any social group they enter into, until they finally figure it out.
I'm sure, like all these sorts of things, ( ... )
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