[There's clear radio silence for a long, long time. Billy isn't saying anything right now, but then he speaks. He sounds a little shaky, but not teary. Billy hasn't been home yet - but finally after a night out, he's back home.]

I just...

Whatever happened this weekend, the people I hurt, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what that curse was or why ( Read more... )

All day I've been getting the feeling I'm being followed.

Do you know that feeling? Most prominently displayed when say, someone like Tony Stark is trying to make you do something like register, but also when you, you know.

Being followedLook if you're following me I highly suggest not. Because I am, in actuality, boring. Very little of interest ( Read more... )

[This is Billy looking only partially awake. He is wearing a huge shirt (one of Teddy's) and he's gripping his coffee as he looks out the window]

Oh my god.

The porter took us to-

[PAUSE]

Wait. This is that...curse again. The one with the people. Which means....

[He turns to look at his camera. HI BILLY. YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA. YOU MIGHT WANT ( Read more... )

I guess I should be happy I didn't end up royalty again for the third time or is it the fourth, I can't actually remember but still, wrestling trees? Wigs? French? I took French in high school ( Read more... )

No, that's not-

[Pause]

Except that I'm not wrestling my feelings of insecu-

[Another pause]

I'm not projecting anything I just don't want to get up, is that okay with you, I'm a teenage boy and sleep is instrumental to my health. Also sanity.

[A really long pause]

I wasn't planning on not eating breakfast, if that makes any difference. Yes, ( Read more... )

Here lies William Schmuel Kaplan,
Who worried himself to death.

my network device isn't working right
sent at 1:55pm

first off i can't use the voice fucking
sent at 1:56pm

*function, *function
sent at 1:56pm

i don't even know what voice fucking would be
sent at 1:57pm

does anyone know where I can find someone women can fix what's breasted?
sent at 1:58pm

*WHO CAN FIX WHAT'S BROKEN
sent at 1:58pm

FML
sent ( Read more... )

Did that electricity hurt you?

They're rabbits.

Small, hopping rabbits.

I mean they're cute and everything but I almost expect them to come with a note not to feed them after midnight or something. Also I had to remove one that was eating a copy of 'The Bell Jar' in the Feminist Book section of the bookstore, so they're not as benign as they see-

[There's a pause and a squeak ( Read more... )

So I've been thinking: I mean I know to curse with the team building thing was totally lame, but maybe it's not such a bad idea. I mean that in a totally 'we-can-do-totally-not-lame-teambuilding-stuff' kind of way. No holding hands (because yes, Tommy, I know, you don't hold hands. If there was a name for people phobic of touch I would use it on ( Read more... )