[Fic] The Three Kisses - chapter 1
Title: The three kisses
Pairing(s): ??/Changmin
Length: Chaptered
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: not yet (will warn for later chaps~)
Genre: drama, romance, light angst
Summary: Someone’s writing Changmin love letters. How’s he supposed to identify his admirer when all four of his band mates seem like the one?
A/N: So this is one of my super old fics that i’m rewriting ~ so if the style seems very diff that's why~ and its def more light-hearted than my other stories! :) hope you enjoyy~~
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“Yah, Changmin-ah! Go get the mail, would you?”
Changmin grumbled as Yoochun’s voice wafted out from the kitchen among bursts of laughter and loud chatter that was Junsu trying to cook dinner.
With a sigh he reluctantly set his book down, laboring to his feet and dragging his way as slowly as possible to the door. Unfortunately, no one was there to see his overacted show of annoyance, as the happy noises from the other room seemed far from stopping.
Confident that no one would care to pop their head around the corner and catch him, Changmin allowed himself a childish pout as he shoved feet into shoes, and pulled the front door open.
Being the youngest did have its perks at times, definitely, but being unconditionally the go to man for all remotely tedious or unimportant tasks from household chores to errands could hardly make up for it.
Sulking his way down the hall and bypassing the elevator in favor of the stairs Changmin told himself it was due to the heavy humid air that was sure to suffocate him in the elevator, not by any means a way to stay away from his hyungs as long as possible. Who knew what they’d tell him to do next?
No really, he just wondered how long it would take for them to notice he was gone or even think to look for him.
Getting the mail really wasn’t that bad he admitted as he clumped noisily down flight upon flight of stairs, but it was one task among many, and when there were four older boys all shirking responsibility and passing it off to the next, he was the one who somehow ended up with having to do them all.
He could just say no, stand up for equality and sharing the chores like a team, but that would mean no video games with Junsu, and ridiculously small portions of food from Jaejoong. Not to mention Yoochun trying to feel him up in the most embarrassing ways possible, while Yunho stood by and watched, not telling him to listen to his hyungs, but not helping him out either.
As much as they were older than him, they didn’t find it belittling to fight dirty.
Changmin shouldn’t really be complaining, as much as it annoyed him at times, for the others more than made up for their bossiness with their abundant and overflowing care and affection.
He knew he was just being moody since he simply hated summer with a passion, and every time he’d have to go in and out from frigid air conditioning to heavy wet heat he’d feel light headed and his body would slowly develop an ache that dragged him down by the end of the day.
If he just fell sick, then they’d let up in favor of nursing and babying him. But then he’d get an earful from the manager, and he really didn’t have any room now to fall behind. They were, as always, on an extremely tight schedule.
A few minutes later and he was poking the key into the mailbox, drawing the stack of mail into his now sweaty palms, and taking extra care to wipe some of it off on the pretty little letter he found marked with Yoochun’s name.
One day they might understand that they were actually his role models. If they wanted him to play nice they’d have to lead the way themselves.
Deciding he deserved a cold drink for all his hard work, Changmin made his way towards the building entrance as he flipped through the pile without much interest.
That was until a small white envelope with his name printed on the front caught his eyes. Slowing to a stop, he flipped the thing over disinterestedly, wondering if one of the others had changed some of the bills to his name as a prank. He deadpanned as he knew that really wouldn’t be past them.
It was in a simple white envelope, nothing special, with just his name printed neatly, ink dark against the white. He had no idea what it contained, nor could he say he even cared. Crushing it back into the pile with the other mail, Changmin promptly forgot about it as he had more pressing matters at hand. A cold drink and a hideout from the place he called home.
It wasn’t until much later that night, when Changmin lay bonelessly across his bed, one limp arm dangling down to the floor, his eyes half shut and staring almost sightlessly at the jumbled mess that was Junsu’s bed beside his, that the letter would finally be read, and the first dark shadow of mystery, whispers of promises and deep words of love would creep over his life and change every little thing.
After downing a large meal and helping Yunho wash the dishes, Changmin had opted for a cool shower instead of the video game tournament his hyungs had started. After all, being a band of five members, there was always one odd man out, and as he couldn’t find the strength within himself to fight against the fiery sparks of competition filling their eyes, he’d respectfully withdrawn to avoid being torn to pieces or flattened with one too many one-touches.
He was stripped to the waist, almost about ready to pull off his light cotton sweat pants as well, because the heat was so heavy and thick it was agonizing. Their bedroom was awful during the summer, sucking the heat in and circulation it slowly, in huge suffocating waves.
Although the manager had promised to install an air conditioner, he still hadn’t gotten around to it and Changmin just barely managed to roll from his bed, moving pitifully around the house in search of that old fan they had.
He found it finally in one of the composing rooms, and too hot and worn out to drag it back to the bedroom, plopped down in a chair as he flipped the switch. When nothing happened he gave an exasperated groan, staring moodily at the dusty spokes and spinning them gently with one finger for a few minutes before he suddenly thought to check something. Sure enough, the cord trailed off to lay tangled and useless in the corner.
Cracking a small smile, Changmin pulled it towards himself, looking around hopefully to find a unused outlet. He found a spot next to the desk he always dumped the mail on for his hyungs to go through, and his eyes promptly fell upon the small white envelope with his name on it.
He picked it up at the same time the first cool stirs of air trickled across his face. Sighing in relief, he fell back into the chair enjoying the feeling for a while until his envelope again caught his attention.
“Probably just some add...at best.” He muttered as he carelessly tore it open.
He was surprised to find a short one page letter, and after glancing half interestedly at the bottom to see who it was from, he suddenly froze. He stared at those words at the bottom, blinking to make sure he saw them right, then slowly looked up to the top to read the content.
The oppressive heat of the cramped room seemed to fade away, the little squeak of the fan every third rotation, the loud sound of riled chanting from the living room, all of it faded away to nothing. Even time didn’t seem to be moving.
It was a love letter, to him. Short and sweet, typed out words on the thin piece of paper, just that and nothing more.
Changmin read it through again, then flipped it over and looked inside the envelope, looked everywhere, but there was no name of identification, no address, no writing, no nothing... just his name, just those words.
It couldn’t be real. Nobody got things like this nowadays. How could somebody love him so much and he didn’t even know who it was?
He half wanted to believe it was just a letter from some fangirl, but that didn’t quite add up. Their address was private, and from experience he knew all fanmail was covered with cute pictures and colors, with hearts and flowers and the girl’s contact information... that was how they were supposed to be, so what was this? Was it for real? Someone he knew?
He was frowning without realizing it, looking once more at the words printed at the bottom instead of a name. ‘I love you’.
He’d never heard those words seriously from anyone he’d dated before, and especially never from someone unknown and hidden. It almost just looked like a joke.
Heaving a sigh and not knowing what to think of it, he placed the letter back down on the table, twirling the chair from side to side and letting the gentle wind from the fan breeze over his bare skin.
The frown still remained on his face as his mind soon was distracted to think only of the feel of that soothing caress... almost like soft fingers, stroking his skin, air breezing over his ears like cool whispered words of a lover... Did somebody really love him?
As much as he wanted it, as much as he wished for it, he couldn’t truly believe that letter was real.
And as Changmin slowly drifted off to sleep, the fan continued to gently blow air, shifting the note, flipping it over, sending it across the desk top and over the edge to lodge snugly and inconspicuously between the back of the table and the wall. It fluttered and rippled momentarily with the remnants of the breeze before it lay still.
The next morning and Changmin woke up groggy and sore, slumped painfully in the chair as he struggled to open sticky no doubt bloodshot eyes.
Straightening up with a pained groan, he felt completely confused and almost hurt that not one of four capable men had come to wake him and tell him to get into bed. A minute later when he walked out to find the four people in question sprawled across the couch and floor in deep sleep, he got his answer, as unsatisfactory as it was.
He looked over them with a fond smile creeping on his face. Yoochun had curled around Junsu like some sort of gigantic leech, yet his feet were directly in Yunho’s face. It didn’t surprise him to see that Jaejoong had the whole comfy couch to himself, either.
Contemplating the way to wake them that would give him the most entertainment, a loud banging on the door followed by the inevitable snap of eyes to the clock pushed all other thoughts out of his head.
The next few minutes found the five of them scrambling to get themselves up and dressed, pulling on whichever shirts they could reach first, ramming hats over tangled messy hair as their manager watched on and started in on one of his infamous scolding speeches.
For once being one of the first to be ready, Changmin turned around to help Yunho help Jaejoong, who was having a mini melt down over the specific articles of clothing he must wear that day but where nowhere to be found. Needless to say, the love note was the last thing on his mind.
It wasn’t until two excruciatingly hot hectic days later, when Changmin dragged himself out of the boiling house into the equally boiling afternoon to get the mail, that he’d finally remember it.
He was soon to learn that it wasn’t something to disregard or be forgotten, not when it meant so much... not when he scanned quickly through the mail as always and stopped, face blank, as a small white envelope lay in his hand, his name dark and lonely, boldly printed on the front.
He stared at it in confusion, flipping it over a few times. Unopened, neat and clean... but it looked exactly the same as that other note. He’d gotten another identical one... so this really was a joke!
Changmin turned slowly to go back inside, feeling a little saddened, but still not quite able to give up on the idea that had planted in his mind without him even realizing it. He really did want them to be real. He wanted to be special enough to someone that they wrote him love letters.
Closing the apartment door, Changmin leaned back against it, looking down at the little envelope. It looked so innocent and inconspicuous... it wasn’t at all how a real love letter looked, right? But how should he know, he’d never written one himself.
Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to just open this one and see if it really was some printed off, sold message, accidentally sent to him again, he ripped it carefully open.
Slipping the page out, he gave a small sigh, flipping it over and glancing almost disinterestedly at it. But just as had happened the first time, he froze up, staring at the words in surprise.
It was completely different, a whole new letter... and this time it was a poem written for him. Changmin reread it almost incredulously, unable to believe it. Again no signature, nothing but the words ‘I love you’ at the bottom. Changmin stared at those words. Who was saying them to him? Why couldn’t they tell him who they were?
He suddenly looked up, trying to remember what he had done with the first letter. If they were real... or at least just until he found out who had written them, he wanted to keep them close.
Kicking off his shoes, he made his way into the composing room which currently held Yunho and Yoochun. They were blasting music from the speakers, almost deafening in the small space, and neither seemed to hear it when he pushed open the door and slid inside.
After sifting through the piles of paper and junk strewn across the desktop, he finally spotted the envelope. He was dismayed to find it empty, the letter itself gone.
He looked around in confusion then began to search through the mess, tossing papers and headphones out of the way. At that point Yoochun finally noticed him, and screamed at him over the music to ask what he was looking for. Changmin just shook his head as he crumpled leftover wrappers and trash into his hands.
It had disappeared. He quickly searched again, a little more desperate and determined, but still ended up with nothing, the room was now in shambles around him.
Finding the moment to be opportune, the music abruptly ended and Yunho swung around in his chair only to have his mouth fall open comically in shock.
“What the-! Yah…were you trying to clean, or did Junsu send you in here to make our room a mess?” He demanded incredulously, eyes wide as they took in the papers still drifting lazily to the floor, spiraling in every direction and Changmin standing frustrated in the center of it all, dust swirling like a halo around his whole body.
Changmin stared back for a moment, the question snapping him out of his mindset which had been focused solely on finding the letter. Remembering the new letter that he still clutched tightly in one hand, Changmin shook his head and attempted a weak smile. “Um, neither. Sorry!”
Turning on his heel, he hurried out of the room, making a beeline for the first empty spot he could find. It ended up being the bathroom as he passed Jaejoong singing cheerfully as he cooked in the kitchen, and Junsu snoring obnoxiously passed out on Changmin’s bed.
Sitting down on the closed toilet seat, Changmin unfolded and refolded the note moodily. His thoughts were filled with the words of the letter and with so many questions and so much confusion... and disappointment he’d completely lost the first one.
Pulling up his knees and crossing his arms over them, he rested his chin upon them heavily. His eyes drifted to the open window, and soon got lost in watching the little cars and buses whizzing past so many stories below. Somehow the sight was comforting and melted away most of his worrying thoughts.
He wondered who could write such a thing for him. Unable to seriously consider any of the girls he could think of, since, really, the only girl who was a part of his life was his mom, and Changmin strongly doubted this was her doing. His mind moved on to think of his female friends. He thought he’d be able to tell if one of them secretly liked him, since it wasn’t all that easy to hide, right? And girls loved to spill secrets.
But then again, he didn’t have all that much time for his friends except for his band mates. They worked together every day, and had lived with each other since they debuted so long ago. Not to mention that working on their summer album and upcoming tour had them seeing nothing but the studio and home day in and day out.
He hadn’t been around anyone but them for so long now… he couldn’t even dare to think that maybe one of them…
Changmin quickly tried to push the idea away, realizing all of the sudden how familiar that action was… but he knew he couldn’t get started thinking about it again. There were so many reasons why it was wrong for him to even think it. Especially not now, not with these real love letters coming to him.
It wouldn’t ever possibly be from one of them, as why would they need to send him a letter when he lived under the same roof and slept in the same room as them? It was only so easy to dismiss the thought as much as it tugged at his heart.
Moreover, he didn’t see any of his hyungs as the types to do something like this, not to mention none of them were interested in guys…as far as he knew. It was even safe to say that none of them were dating or even looking, as recently none had been going on about any girls these days either.
He was just setting himself up for more needless heartache if he started thinking about the possibilities. After all, the four he lived with now made up the four closest, most intimate relationships he’d ever had.
But of course Changmin couldn’t resist letting a fantasy unfurl, hesitant and fleeting, filled with longing. He stared out the window wistfully, imagining what it would be like if it was one of them…actually just one of them in particular…and what the future might hold if he had sent it, told Changmin he loved him.
It was then, when his mind was filled with swirling images of his long-time crush and all the moments they’d had together, that Changmin decided he’d have to investigate. He couldn’t just sit here and wait for something to happen… he had to know who the letters were from. Although he wasn’t quite sure yet just how he’d find something like this out, it would make him feel better to take action.
Absently running one hand through his damp hair, Changmin drew his letter close again, looking over it slowly as his mind resumed its frantic consideration of options and meanings. He had no idea of time passing until Jaejoong was knocking sharply on the bathroom door, voice loud with concern as he asked if he was alright.
Realizing the bathroom wasn’t exactly the ideal hide out, Changmin finally emerged, only to find Jaejoong twisting his hands in worry, but flanked with a much too pleased looking Yoochun who was struggling to stifle his giggles in his hand.
He rolled his eyes as he passed by them, brushing off Jaejoong’s concerned hand, and glaring at Yoochun who still dared to call some juvenile bathroom jokes after him. He retreated to their room, now empty, to unzip his pillow case and slip the letter safely inside.
He’d have to think of a better place to keep them safe as he could only imagine what Yoochun and Junsu would do if they ever found out about it. Needless to say they’d have enough teasing ammunition to last a lifetime, and for once Changmin was deadly serious about something very personal, and didn’t think he could handle it if ever it was used against him.
Deciding he needed a break from all the mental clogging he’d accomplished in the bathroom, Changmin padded down the hallway in search of Yunho, one of the more mature and sensible men in their group. He needed someone to bring him back down, to ground him, and no one was more perfect than him.
The hours of the evening passed by smoothly, Changmin so engrossed in his discussion with Yunho that he hardly thought twice about the way that Yunho ever so slowly, bit by bit, inched closer until their sides were nearly glued together.
The older man’s arm was thrown around his shoulders, and somewhere along the line Yunho had even tugged on his legs, drawing them up and over his own lap to rest one hand on Changmin’s knee.
He hadn’t realized that hand had somehow slid up to undeniably rest on his upper thigh until Yoochun had tripped as he walked by, doing such a quick double take they could hear his neck crack.
None of them said anything, as physical closeness was as natural as breathing to them, but Changmin could clearly remember the look on Yoochun’s face, the strange light in his eyes, and unbidden, the little white letter rose in his mind’s eye.
His heart skipped oddly as he once again failed to reject the notion that the letter could be from someone closer than he’d think, and that he’d need to keep his eyes open lest one of them drop a hint or let something slip.
Although Yunho had firmly held onto him as he suddenly attempted to move from his position which was essentially in the other’s lap, the older man remained innocently indifferent to the situation that now seemed so potentially dangerous to Changmin.
Yunho’s calm solidity, his expectable sameness reassured him greatly, and he was able to force away all those confusing thoughts. He was comfortable, after all, and began to relax back into Yunho’s warmth as the man drew him back into their conversation.
He didn’t want to resist anymore, and decided that for now, this was all still okay. He could only hope that it would remain that way.
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next part: chapter two~~~~
A/N: I wana keep the admirer's identity a secret, cuz i'll drop lots of hints, but is it annoying that way?TT
Free Hit Counter
Pairing(s): ??/Changmin
Length: Chaptered
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: not yet (will warn for later chaps~)
Genre: drama, romance, light angst
Summary: Someone’s writing Changmin love letters. How’s he supposed to identify his admirer when all four of his band mates seem like the one?
A/N: So this is one of my super old fics that i’m rewriting ~ so if the style seems very diff that's why~ and its def more light-hearted than my other stories! :) hope you enjoyy~~
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“Yah, Changmin-ah! Go get the mail, would you?”
Changmin grumbled as Yoochun’s voice wafted out from the kitchen among bursts of laughter and loud chatter that was Junsu trying to cook dinner.
With a sigh he reluctantly set his book down, laboring to his feet and dragging his way as slowly as possible to the door. Unfortunately, no one was there to see his overacted show of annoyance, as the happy noises from the other room seemed far from stopping.
Confident that no one would care to pop their head around the corner and catch him, Changmin allowed himself a childish pout as he shoved feet into shoes, and pulled the front door open.
Being the youngest did have its perks at times, definitely, but being unconditionally the go to man for all remotely tedious or unimportant tasks from household chores to errands could hardly make up for it.
Sulking his way down the hall and bypassing the elevator in favor of the stairs Changmin told himself it was due to the heavy humid air that was sure to suffocate him in the elevator, not by any means a way to stay away from his hyungs as long as possible. Who knew what they’d tell him to do next?
No really, he just wondered how long it would take for them to notice he was gone or even think to look for him.
Getting the mail really wasn’t that bad he admitted as he clumped noisily down flight upon flight of stairs, but it was one task among many, and when there were four older boys all shirking responsibility and passing it off to the next, he was the one who somehow ended up with having to do them all.
He could just say no, stand up for equality and sharing the chores like a team, but that would mean no video games with Junsu, and ridiculously small portions of food from Jaejoong. Not to mention Yoochun trying to feel him up in the most embarrassing ways possible, while Yunho stood by and watched, not telling him to listen to his hyungs, but not helping him out either.
As much as they were older than him, they didn’t find it belittling to fight dirty.
Changmin shouldn’t really be complaining, as much as it annoyed him at times, for the others more than made up for their bossiness with their abundant and overflowing care and affection.
He knew he was just being moody since he simply hated summer with a passion, and every time he’d have to go in and out from frigid air conditioning to heavy wet heat he’d feel light headed and his body would slowly develop an ache that dragged him down by the end of the day.
If he just fell sick, then they’d let up in favor of nursing and babying him. But then he’d get an earful from the manager, and he really didn’t have any room now to fall behind. They were, as always, on an extremely tight schedule.
A few minutes later and he was poking the key into the mailbox, drawing the stack of mail into his now sweaty palms, and taking extra care to wipe some of it off on the pretty little letter he found marked with Yoochun’s name.
One day they might understand that they were actually his role models. If they wanted him to play nice they’d have to lead the way themselves.
Deciding he deserved a cold drink for all his hard work, Changmin made his way towards the building entrance as he flipped through the pile without much interest.
That was until a small white envelope with his name printed on the front caught his eyes. Slowing to a stop, he flipped the thing over disinterestedly, wondering if one of the others had changed some of the bills to his name as a prank. He deadpanned as he knew that really wouldn’t be past them.
It was in a simple white envelope, nothing special, with just his name printed neatly, ink dark against the white. He had no idea what it contained, nor could he say he even cared. Crushing it back into the pile with the other mail, Changmin promptly forgot about it as he had more pressing matters at hand. A cold drink and a hideout from the place he called home.
It wasn’t until much later that night, when Changmin lay bonelessly across his bed, one limp arm dangling down to the floor, his eyes half shut and staring almost sightlessly at the jumbled mess that was Junsu’s bed beside his, that the letter would finally be read, and the first dark shadow of mystery, whispers of promises and deep words of love would creep over his life and change every little thing.
After downing a large meal and helping Yunho wash the dishes, Changmin had opted for a cool shower instead of the video game tournament his hyungs had started. After all, being a band of five members, there was always one odd man out, and as he couldn’t find the strength within himself to fight against the fiery sparks of competition filling their eyes, he’d respectfully withdrawn to avoid being torn to pieces or flattened with one too many one-touches.
He was stripped to the waist, almost about ready to pull off his light cotton sweat pants as well, because the heat was so heavy and thick it was agonizing. Their bedroom was awful during the summer, sucking the heat in and circulation it slowly, in huge suffocating waves.
Although the manager had promised to install an air conditioner, he still hadn’t gotten around to it and Changmin just barely managed to roll from his bed, moving pitifully around the house in search of that old fan they had.
He found it finally in one of the composing rooms, and too hot and worn out to drag it back to the bedroom, plopped down in a chair as he flipped the switch. When nothing happened he gave an exasperated groan, staring moodily at the dusty spokes and spinning them gently with one finger for a few minutes before he suddenly thought to check something. Sure enough, the cord trailed off to lay tangled and useless in the corner.
Cracking a small smile, Changmin pulled it towards himself, looking around hopefully to find a unused outlet. He found a spot next to the desk he always dumped the mail on for his hyungs to go through, and his eyes promptly fell upon the small white envelope with his name on it.
He picked it up at the same time the first cool stirs of air trickled across his face. Sighing in relief, he fell back into the chair enjoying the feeling for a while until his envelope again caught his attention.
“Probably just some add...at best.” He muttered as he carelessly tore it open.
He was surprised to find a short one page letter, and after glancing half interestedly at the bottom to see who it was from, he suddenly froze. He stared at those words at the bottom, blinking to make sure he saw them right, then slowly looked up to the top to read the content.
The oppressive heat of the cramped room seemed to fade away, the little squeak of the fan every third rotation, the loud sound of riled chanting from the living room, all of it faded away to nothing. Even time didn’t seem to be moving.
It was a love letter, to him. Short and sweet, typed out words on the thin piece of paper, just that and nothing more.
Changmin read it through again, then flipped it over and looked inside the envelope, looked everywhere, but there was no name of identification, no address, no writing, no nothing... just his name, just those words.
It couldn’t be real. Nobody got things like this nowadays. How could somebody love him so much and he didn’t even know who it was?
He half wanted to believe it was just a letter from some fangirl, but that didn’t quite add up. Their address was private, and from experience he knew all fanmail was covered with cute pictures and colors, with hearts and flowers and the girl’s contact information... that was how they were supposed to be, so what was this? Was it for real? Someone he knew?
He was frowning without realizing it, looking once more at the words printed at the bottom instead of a name. ‘I love you’.
He’d never heard those words seriously from anyone he’d dated before, and especially never from someone unknown and hidden. It almost just looked like a joke.
Heaving a sigh and not knowing what to think of it, he placed the letter back down on the table, twirling the chair from side to side and letting the gentle wind from the fan breeze over his bare skin.
The frown still remained on his face as his mind soon was distracted to think only of the feel of that soothing caress... almost like soft fingers, stroking his skin, air breezing over his ears like cool whispered words of a lover... Did somebody really love him?
As much as he wanted it, as much as he wished for it, he couldn’t truly believe that letter was real.
And as Changmin slowly drifted off to sleep, the fan continued to gently blow air, shifting the note, flipping it over, sending it across the desk top and over the edge to lodge snugly and inconspicuously between the back of the table and the wall. It fluttered and rippled momentarily with the remnants of the breeze before it lay still.
The next morning and Changmin woke up groggy and sore, slumped painfully in the chair as he struggled to open sticky no doubt bloodshot eyes.
Straightening up with a pained groan, he felt completely confused and almost hurt that not one of four capable men had come to wake him and tell him to get into bed. A minute later when he walked out to find the four people in question sprawled across the couch and floor in deep sleep, he got his answer, as unsatisfactory as it was.
He looked over them with a fond smile creeping on his face. Yoochun had curled around Junsu like some sort of gigantic leech, yet his feet were directly in Yunho’s face. It didn’t surprise him to see that Jaejoong had the whole comfy couch to himself, either.
Contemplating the way to wake them that would give him the most entertainment, a loud banging on the door followed by the inevitable snap of eyes to the clock pushed all other thoughts out of his head.
The next few minutes found the five of them scrambling to get themselves up and dressed, pulling on whichever shirts they could reach first, ramming hats over tangled messy hair as their manager watched on and started in on one of his infamous scolding speeches.
For once being one of the first to be ready, Changmin turned around to help Yunho help Jaejoong, who was having a mini melt down over the specific articles of clothing he must wear that day but where nowhere to be found. Needless to say, the love note was the last thing on his mind.
It wasn’t until two excruciatingly hot hectic days later, when Changmin dragged himself out of the boiling house into the equally boiling afternoon to get the mail, that he’d finally remember it.
He was soon to learn that it wasn’t something to disregard or be forgotten, not when it meant so much... not when he scanned quickly through the mail as always and stopped, face blank, as a small white envelope lay in his hand, his name dark and lonely, boldly printed on the front.
He stared at it in confusion, flipping it over a few times. Unopened, neat and clean... but it looked exactly the same as that other note. He’d gotten another identical one... so this really was a joke!
Changmin turned slowly to go back inside, feeling a little saddened, but still not quite able to give up on the idea that had planted in his mind without him even realizing it. He really did want them to be real. He wanted to be special enough to someone that they wrote him love letters.
Closing the apartment door, Changmin leaned back against it, looking down at the little envelope. It looked so innocent and inconspicuous... it wasn’t at all how a real love letter looked, right? But how should he know, he’d never written one himself.
Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to just open this one and see if it really was some printed off, sold message, accidentally sent to him again, he ripped it carefully open.
Slipping the page out, he gave a small sigh, flipping it over and glancing almost disinterestedly at it. But just as had happened the first time, he froze up, staring at the words in surprise.
It was completely different, a whole new letter... and this time it was a poem written for him. Changmin reread it almost incredulously, unable to believe it. Again no signature, nothing but the words ‘I love you’ at the bottom. Changmin stared at those words. Who was saying them to him? Why couldn’t they tell him who they were?
He suddenly looked up, trying to remember what he had done with the first letter. If they were real... or at least just until he found out who had written them, he wanted to keep them close.
Kicking off his shoes, he made his way into the composing room which currently held Yunho and Yoochun. They were blasting music from the speakers, almost deafening in the small space, and neither seemed to hear it when he pushed open the door and slid inside.
After sifting through the piles of paper and junk strewn across the desktop, he finally spotted the envelope. He was dismayed to find it empty, the letter itself gone.
He looked around in confusion then began to search through the mess, tossing papers and headphones out of the way. At that point Yoochun finally noticed him, and screamed at him over the music to ask what he was looking for. Changmin just shook his head as he crumpled leftover wrappers and trash into his hands.
It had disappeared. He quickly searched again, a little more desperate and determined, but still ended up with nothing, the room was now in shambles around him.
Finding the moment to be opportune, the music abruptly ended and Yunho swung around in his chair only to have his mouth fall open comically in shock.
“What the-! Yah…were you trying to clean, or did Junsu send you in here to make our room a mess?” He demanded incredulously, eyes wide as they took in the papers still drifting lazily to the floor, spiraling in every direction and Changmin standing frustrated in the center of it all, dust swirling like a halo around his whole body.
Changmin stared back for a moment, the question snapping him out of his mindset which had been focused solely on finding the letter. Remembering the new letter that he still clutched tightly in one hand, Changmin shook his head and attempted a weak smile. “Um, neither. Sorry!”
Turning on his heel, he hurried out of the room, making a beeline for the first empty spot he could find. It ended up being the bathroom as he passed Jaejoong singing cheerfully as he cooked in the kitchen, and Junsu snoring obnoxiously passed out on Changmin’s bed.
Sitting down on the closed toilet seat, Changmin unfolded and refolded the note moodily. His thoughts were filled with the words of the letter and with so many questions and so much confusion... and disappointment he’d completely lost the first one.
Pulling up his knees and crossing his arms over them, he rested his chin upon them heavily. His eyes drifted to the open window, and soon got lost in watching the little cars and buses whizzing past so many stories below. Somehow the sight was comforting and melted away most of his worrying thoughts.
He wondered who could write such a thing for him. Unable to seriously consider any of the girls he could think of, since, really, the only girl who was a part of his life was his mom, and Changmin strongly doubted this was her doing. His mind moved on to think of his female friends. He thought he’d be able to tell if one of them secretly liked him, since it wasn’t all that easy to hide, right? And girls loved to spill secrets.
But then again, he didn’t have all that much time for his friends except for his band mates. They worked together every day, and had lived with each other since they debuted so long ago. Not to mention that working on their summer album and upcoming tour had them seeing nothing but the studio and home day in and day out.
He hadn’t been around anyone but them for so long now… he couldn’t even dare to think that maybe one of them…
Changmin quickly tried to push the idea away, realizing all of the sudden how familiar that action was… but he knew he couldn’t get started thinking about it again. There were so many reasons why it was wrong for him to even think it. Especially not now, not with these real love letters coming to him.
It wouldn’t ever possibly be from one of them, as why would they need to send him a letter when he lived under the same roof and slept in the same room as them? It was only so easy to dismiss the thought as much as it tugged at his heart.
Moreover, he didn’t see any of his hyungs as the types to do something like this, not to mention none of them were interested in guys…as far as he knew. It was even safe to say that none of them were dating or even looking, as recently none had been going on about any girls these days either.
He was just setting himself up for more needless heartache if he started thinking about the possibilities. After all, the four he lived with now made up the four closest, most intimate relationships he’d ever had.
But of course Changmin couldn’t resist letting a fantasy unfurl, hesitant and fleeting, filled with longing. He stared out the window wistfully, imagining what it would be like if it was one of them…actually just one of them in particular…and what the future might hold if he had sent it, told Changmin he loved him.
It was then, when his mind was filled with swirling images of his long-time crush and all the moments they’d had together, that Changmin decided he’d have to investigate. He couldn’t just sit here and wait for something to happen… he had to know who the letters were from. Although he wasn’t quite sure yet just how he’d find something like this out, it would make him feel better to take action.
Absently running one hand through his damp hair, Changmin drew his letter close again, looking over it slowly as his mind resumed its frantic consideration of options and meanings. He had no idea of time passing until Jaejoong was knocking sharply on the bathroom door, voice loud with concern as he asked if he was alright.
Realizing the bathroom wasn’t exactly the ideal hide out, Changmin finally emerged, only to find Jaejoong twisting his hands in worry, but flanked with a much too pleased looking Yoochun who was struggling to stifle his giggles in his hand.
He rolled his eyes as he passed by them, brushing off Jaejoong’s concerned hand, and glaring at Yoochun who still dared to call some juvenile bathroom jokes after him. He retreated to their room, now empty, to unzip his pillow case and slip the letter safely inside.
He’d have to think of a better place to keep them safe as he could only imagine what Yoochun and Junsu would do if they ever found out about it. Needless to say they’d have enough teasing ammunition to last a lifetime, and for once Changmin was deadly serious about something very personal, and didn’t think he could handle it if ever it was used against him.
Deciding he needed a break from all the mental clogging he’d accomplished in the bathroom, Changmin padded down the hallway in search of Yunho, one of the more mature and sensible men in their group. He needed someone to bring him back down, to ground him, and no one was more perfect than him.
The hours of the evening passed by smoothly, Changmin so engrossed in his discussion with Yunho that he hardly thought twice about the way that Yunho ever so slowly, bit by bit, inched closer until their sides were nearly glued together.
The older man’s arm was thrown around his shoulders, and somewhere along the line Yunho had even tugged on his legs, drawing them up and over his own lap to rest one hand on Changmin’s knee.
He hadn’t realized that hand had somehow slid up to undeniably rest on his upper thigh until Yoochun had tripped as he walked by, doing such a quick double take they could hear his neck crack.
None of them said anything, as physical closeness was as natural as breathing to them, but Changmin could clearly remember the look on Yoochun’s face, the strange light in his eyes, and unbidden, the little white letter rose in his mind’s eye.
His heart skipped oddly as he once again failed to reject the notion that the letter could be from someone closer than he’d think, and that he’d need to keep his eyes open lest one of them drop a hint or let something slip.
Although Yunho had firmly held onto him as he suddenly attempted to move from his position which was essentially in the other’s lap, the older man remained innocently indifferent to the situation that now seemed so potentially dangerous to Changmin.
Yunho’s calm solidity, his expectable sameness reassured him greatly, and he was able to force away all those confusing thoughts. He was comfortable, after all, and began to relax back into Yunho’s warmth as the man drew him back into their conversation.
He didn’t want to resist anymore, and decided that for now, this was all still okay. He could only hope that it would remain that way.
**************
next part: chapter two~~~~
A/N: I wana keep the admirer's identity a secret, cuz i'll drop lots of hints, but is it annoying that way?TT
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