Comments | renee2939: A Companion's Guide

renee2939

A Companion's Guide

Oct 09, 2006 03:33

( A Companion's Guide to Version 2.0 of the Ensouled Vampire )

Comments 30

evilawyer October 9 2006, 05:24:59 UTC

Oh, this is too funny. And it is quite thorough in its product liability warnings. I doubt this company could be easily successfully sued.

On question: On Care & Feeding point 12, is that illicit or elicit. It actually works either way. For the naughty-minded, anyway.

renee2939 October 9 2006, 08:25:19 UTC

Gotta have good liability warnings if you're going to be 'procuring' vampires. :~)

Doh! *headsmack* Point 12 is supposed to be elicit- but you know where my mind was if it came out illicit.

I'm glad you liked it. ;~D

makd October 9 2006, 05:51:33 UTC

Absolutely adorable! I laughed out loud several times.

One suggestion for the manufacturer: in addition to the required TV and cable, the user would be wise to include a remote control device, as version 2.0 has little patience with manual channel-changing. (Whereas, version 1.0 hasn't any interest in TV.)

:-)

renee2939 October 9 2006, 08:47:25 UTC

Thank you. I was a little worried that my humor would be a little strange and off-putting. ;~)

A remote control is a very good suggestion. Heaven knows we wouldn't want version 2.0 to lose patience. Very Bad Things could happen. :~D

makd October 10 2006, 02:55:24 UTC

Oh, and those Very Bad Things are not to be wished for at any price.

Of course, a contented ensouled vampire - version 2.0 is to be wished for at all costs. Whereas, a TOO contented ensouled vampire - version 1.0 is to be avoided at all costs. :-)

renee2939 October 10 2006, 04:50:34 UTC

I'd imagine there are some pretty heavy warnings and disclaimers in version 1.0's Companion's Guide.

petzipellepingo October 9 2006, 08:25:37 UTC

*Custom fitted chains, handcuffs and/or shackles may be purchased separately at your discretion. Hee!
This is brilliant and hysterical. Thanks for posting.

renee2939 October 9 2006, 08:54:12 UTC

Brilliant? Hysterical? Thank you! I guess I was all worried about posting this for nothing then. Wouldn't be the first time. :~)

kcarolj65 October 9 2006, 10:11:36 UTC

BWAH! That is just awesome! I esp. love #12 of the "Care and Feeding" instructions. *pets undead, ensouled, demon-infected vampire*

renee2939 October 9 2006, 12:28:38 UTC

*blushes* Thanks!

ares132006 October 9 2006, 10:24:02 UTC

This is *too* funny, Renee. I needed a laugh and had many when reading this.

I too love #12 but I am partial to the Warnings to. This -
* To reduce the risk of injury and/or emotional and mental scarring (to either party), do not permit children to taunt, pet or otherwise engage this product until both parties have been deemed fully domesticated. Your ensouled vampire, though territorial and very protective (especially of those of the opposite sex), is not a babysitter and should not be used as such.

I cracked up with this. Not a babysitter! :~))

See, not a warped sense of humour at all.
Hugs
Ares

renee2939 October 9 2006, 13:01:34 UTC

I'm glad I could give you a few laughs when you needed some. :~)

Babysitters tell stories and play games. I shudder to think what kind of warping vampire games and stories would do to the impressionable youth. Not to mention the wear and tear on the poor, unprepared vampire.

Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor. It just appears that all of my friends do as well. Just shows I have good taste in friends. ;~D

*hugs*
Renee