FIC: Who So Loves Believes the Impossible (The Metaphysical Gravity Remix) [Part Two]
Title: Who So Loves Believes the Impossible (The Metaphysical Gravity Remix)
Author: krabapple
Summary: The more things change, the more they change. Sirius Black and Rose Tyler face brave new worlds.
Fandom: Harry Potter/Doctor Who (2005)
Pairing: Rose Tyler/Doctor (Ten); Sirius Black/Remus Lupin. Characters: Rose Tyler, Sirius Black
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All belongs to J.K. Rowling, the BBC, and other credited parties.
Original story: On the Other Side by thistlerose
Notes: Thank you to my beta such_heights, and to thistlerose for allowing me to work with her fiction. Spoilers for HP through Half-Blood Prince and for Doctor Who through Season 3's Smith and Jones.
This fic is divided into two parts due to length.
The first part can be found here: Part One
This post is part two. Part Two
Rose comes down to breakfast little worse for the wear the next morning. She's meeting Sirius, Mickey and the Potters at the Department of Mysteries near lunchtime, but until then she has the Saturday morning to herself.
Her mum is cooking breakfast. Scrambled eggs are piling up on the plate on the counter, and bacon, crisp and fresh on the sideboard, also sizzles in the pan. Rose nicks a piece of bacon from the sideboard and sits at the table between her dad and Rachel. Pete is reading the paper, Rachel working on coloring in a picture. Rose pours some coffee and looks over at Rachel's drawing.
"That's nice," Rose comments, smiling. Rachel, all brown hair and big blue eyes, looks up and grins, pleased.
"It's our house," Rachel explains, pointing to dots of pink. "Those are the tulips, that's the sun."
"It's brilliant," Rose agrees. "Can I have it for my room?"
"Sure!" her sister says. "I just have to finish the chimney and then it's all yours."
"Perfect," Rose says, seeing her dad smile out of the corner of her eye.
"Gonna take it with you?" Jackie asks, setting the plates of bacon and eggs on the table.
"Mum?" Rose asks, seeing Rachel look up.
"When that bloke who landed in the shop goes back, and you go with him, you gonna take Rachel's picture with you?"
"Mum!" Rose exclaims, setting her coffee down with a splash.
Pete calmly folds his paper and sets it on the table. He addresses his young daughter, who is staring wide-eyed at her mother and sister. "Rachel, why don't you take your drawing and finish it in your room? You've already had your fill of toast and jam."
"Dad -" Rachel starts to protest, but a look from Pete and her mouth closes. With one last look at her mum she walks out of the room, feet thumping on the stairs.
"Now then," Pete starts, but Rose cuts him off.
"How do you even know about that?" Rose asks, getting up from the table and storming to the refrigerator, hand poised to throw it open.
"Jake and Mickey came round this morning -"
"Mickey! I should have known he couldn't keep his mouth shut!" Rose exclaims, fishing the milk out of the fridge with a vengeance.
"Now don't blame Mickey, Rose, he was only trying to help."
"Trying to meddle, more like it," Rose starts, but this time Pete succeeds in getting a word in between the two women.
"As I was saying, Jackie, there's no reason to get ahead of ourselves. We don't even know if this bloke knows the way back. If there is a way back."
"There is," Rose says stubbornly, and the first time she says it aloud is the first time she realizes just how much she thinks it's true.
"And so there you go, off again," Jackie starts. "Not a word to us, just disappear." Jackie stalks over to the stove, pours water for tea and then slams the kettle down.
"It's not like that this time," Rose says.
"No, it's not Rose. This time, you've got all of us. Me, Pete, your sister. Mickey. Are you really going to leave all of us to go God knows where?"
Rose can't bring herself to speak it, but they all know the answer.
"Is he really worth it Rose?" Jackie asks.
"Yes."
"He finds other companions, doesn't he? You weren't the first. He probably has someone else already. Probably had her for a long time now," Jackie says.
Rose's face goes very still. "I was different from the others; I'm different from anyone . . ."
"You think so? But he's not alone, is he? He's not alone, roaming the galaxy, and you know it, Rose! He's already found someone else, and he's traveling with her now. I would have protected you and that man until my dying day, but you didn't need me. He doesn't need you. And you'd still leave us, leave all of us? For that? For nothing?"
Rose's voice shakes, but it's still understandable. "Yes."
Jackie sets her jaw and walks out of the kitchen, oblivious to Pete's call of, "Jacks," after her.
Rose sighs, and slams the heel of her hand on the counter.
"Do what you have to do, Rose, but don't do it lightly," Pete says quietly before leaving after his wife.
Rose lifts her head and looks in their wake, watching the door for a long time before looking down and moving her hair out of her eyes with one hand.
*
St. Mungo's is quiet this time of the morning. The nurses have just started their morning shifts, and they are softly bustling around, arranging charts, folders, and schedules. Sirius and James walk through the halls without interruption; no one bothers the Minister of Magic, especially as most of the staff knows the reason he is here, who he's visiting, and if they wonder about the dark haired man with him today, they don't speak of it in James' hearing.
They enter the Closed Ward, where several medi-witches and wizards nod politely to James. They briefly acknowledge Sirius as he and James walk the corridor. The walls are white, almost blindingly so, and there's an inescapable smell of antiseptic in the air. The ward is open for the most part, patients given a bit of privacy by thick curtains where appropriate.
But James continues to walk the hall until the very end, where a handful of private rooms are clustered. He stops outside one of the rooms, looks at Sirius. His gaze asks are you sure, but he doesn't ask the question aloud, and Sirius respects James even more for that.
"I can wait, if you'd like," James says.
Sirius shakes his head. "I can find my own way out."
James manages not to look skeptical at this, and only nods. "I'll be in the Visitor's Lounge."
Sirius nods in acknowledgment, and James squeezes his arm briefly before turning around and walking back down the corridor. Sirius hesitates with his hand on the doorknob, just a bit, before turning the knob and entering the room.
Remus' room is quiet, and, Sirius finds with no surprise, quite pleasant. Lily's influence is everywhere; there are scores of plants, flowers, bulbs and magical herbs. The room is painted a soft, soothing yellow, unlike the stark white along the hallway and by the other beds. A bed, neatly made, with a thick down spread on top is nestled against one corner, and there are several windows. Bookshelves and books line two entire walls, though they are all perfectly in line, not jumbled or tipped or stacked like Sirius knows Remus keeps his books.
Remus is sitting by the largest window, to the right of the doorway. He doesn't even look up at the sound of a person entering the room. Instead, he continues to stare outside, looking at something Sirius can't see from his angle. Remus' hair is completely silver, though he looks younger than he does in Sirius' universe, even though he is, in fact, many years older. There are few lines in his face, just a bit of webbing around the corners of his mouth. He is dressed simply in khaki trousers and a brown jumper, his feet covered only with white socks. He's sitting a rocking chair, and the chair creaks slightly as Remus rocks back and forth. It's the only sound in the room.
"Remus?" Sirius ventures softly, almost afraid to break the serenity of the room.
Remus looks up, over at Sirius, but there is no recognition in his eyes.
"Is it time for supper already?" Remus asks.
Sirius shakes his head, walks over to where Remus is sitting. He kneels down, sits on his knees in front of Remus.
"Not yet. Not time for supper yet," Sirius says.
"Oh," Remus says. He goes back to rocking.
Sirius sits quietly for a moment, just watching Remus' gentle rocking motion. He reaches out a hand, lifting his palm up, letting his fingertips grace Remus' cheek before his palm cups Remus' jaw. Remus doesn't flinch or move away; his skin is warm and smooth, unscarred by the wolf and untouched by time. Remus' mouth doesn't twitch, the corner lifting up for Sirius to kiss; it doesn't frown, telling Sirius this is not the time for touch. Remus' face is unguarded. It is completely still. There's not a ripple under Sirius' hand that means Remus is tense, or a movement near Remus' ear that says he's cross with Sirius. There's no tightening of Remus' jaw, either in anger or exasperation or desire; there's no smile of invitation or affection or forgiveness.
"I am so sorry this happened to you, Moony," Sirius whispers.
"It's not time for supper yet," Remus replies.
Sirius smiles sadly, and, pulling Remus' head toward him, leans up and over and kisses Remus gently on the forehead. He pulls back and rests his head on Remus' knee. Remus goes back to rocking.
"No, not yet," Sirius agrees.
*
Rose is the last one to arrive at the Ministry that afternoon. Luna escorts her up to the top floor of the building, and they go through a series of doors before reaching the Department of Mysteries. They find the others in a large room full of steps, almost like bleachers, with a large archway on a dais in the middle of the floor. A flimsy piece of curtain attached to the arch sways as if in a breeze.
Jake and Mickey have already arrived and set up Torchwood standard equipment around the archway. Most of the dials and meters are dead still, but there's one making a slight whistling sound as the needle moves off the scale. The Potters and Sirius are standing on the other side of the Veil from Jake and Mickey, and Rose sees another man standing with them, young, just a bit older than her, if that. Probably Luna's age. Luna waves and the young man turns and waves back, so Rose has a better angle to see him clearly. When she does, she realizes belatedly that this is Harry Potter; he looks just like James, except with deliberate mistakes - a slightly different nose, Lily's green eyes. His smile is warm and friendly as Luna and Rose walk over.
Harry gives Luna a warm hug, and extends a hand to Rose. "Harry Potter. It's nice to meet you."
"Same here," Rose says, glancing briefly at Sirius. He looks grave, but not frightened, though his eyes are dark.
Rose turns to shout across at Jake and Mickey. "How's it going?"
"She shows up late and then starts shoutin' about progress," Mickey says, shaking his head.
"Needs to learn some manners, that one," Jake agrees.
Rose rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. Mickey laughs.
"Okay, okay, we give. The Dimensional Rift Meter is going wild." Mickey points to the machine Rose noticed earlier, the one with the meter off the scale. "Definitely looks like something is up."
"But he didn't come out here," Rose says.
"No, but I have a theory on that," Luna says, and everyone turns to look at her.
"In Sirius' world, the Veil is probably in a different place. I mean, it's still in the Department of Mysteries, in the Ministry of Magic, but the actual location might be different."
"But then if he goes back through here, won't he end up in a different place in his world?" Rose asks.
Sirius shrugs. "Probably. But there, I could find my way around."
"And there's no Torchwood to interfere," Mickey adds.
"As far as we know. They could have rebuilt in the last four years." Rose steps over, looks at the reading on the machine.
"Maybe," Jake agrees.
"You all are talking like you're automatically going to go back." James comes up, stands beside Rose.
Rose and Sirius exchange glances. Mickey rises from where he's been examining equipment. "That's 'cause they are," he says, glaring at Rose before looking at the ground.
"Mickey," Rose and Jake say at the same time.
"But you don't know. You don't know if it will even work. Where the Veil could take you this time. It could take you back home, or to another alternate universe, or to death." James stops, looks at his wife.
"You don't have to go," Lily says to Sirius, though Rose knows Lily's including her, too.
Rose looks at Mickey and Jake, James and Lily, Harry and Luna. "No one's going anywhere just yet," she says before stepping up to the dais, her hand reaching out, gently grazing the curtain.
*
Rose finds Sirius sitting on the steps in front of the Veil. The others have gone down to James' office for a late lunch after agreeing to let the machines work on their own for a little while longer. Sirius had left shortly after barely touching a sandwich, but James and Lily had allowed him to go, knowing he might need some time away. When Rose started to feel like she needed to go, too, she went back upstairs.
Rose sits next to Sirius without saying a word. They sit in silence for a long time before Sirius finally says, "No one needs me here."
"That's not true," Rose answers.
Sirius laughs, and it's not necessarily a pleasant sound. "Lily and James have each other. They're happy, successful, loved. They have Harry, who is amazing. Happy. Whole." He pauses. "Remus. Remus doesn't need anyone, not anymore."
"It's not about being needed," Rose says.
"Isn't it?"
Rose clasps her hands, looks down, leaning her forehead on her fist. "He didn't have anyone. The Doctor. His whole world was gone. I was all he had; I had decided to stay with him, even when Mickey had come over. Even after my mum had decided to come over. That was my life." She pauses. "He needed me."
Sirius realizes Rose is crying by the sound of her voice, the small shaking of her shoulders.
"You needed him," Sirius adds, and Rose nods her head.
"I left everything for him. Just for a chance. And now I'm willing to do it all over again," Rose says. "Will do it all over again."
"I don't even have that," Sirius says quietly. "Harry. Harry might have needed me then, but now? What if it is 2010? He'd be thirty. If he's even still alive." Sirius pauses at the thought. "And Remus. Remus and I were trying, we really were. But I was - I am - so angry, so. Well, Azkaban did not do wonders for my temper, and Grimmauld Place did nothing for my state of mind. Sometimes I think he barely tolerated me. That he put up with me, was with me, out of habit, or some sense of duty, instead of out of love. You might have the Doctor, but what do I have to go back to?"
"The Doctor always moves on," Rose says.
"Everyone always moves on."
Rose looks up at him, eyes red from crying, cheeks stained with tears. "So where does that leave us?"
"Nowhere," Sirius answers.
*
It's cold in James' office. The air conditioner had been turned up when there had been many people crowded inside, but now that everyone has left, it is significantly cooler. Sirius walks in, feeling a burst of cold air float across his skin from a vent in the ceiling.
"Sirius Black, always doing the opposite of everyone else. People come down to eat, you stay up to think. People go up to think, you come down to eat," James says, rising from his place behind his desk.
"You were my brother, you know," Sirius says, ignoring James' remarks.
James stops, stands in front of him. "And you were mine."
"I never thought I'd see you again, not until I was dead, too. And maybe I am," Sirius goes on. "To you, I am."
"You were."
Sirius shakes his head. "The Sirius you knew is dead James, and you know it. I'm not him. I'm not even close to him. We both know that."
"That doesn't mean you don't matter to us."
Sirius nods.
"I'm not the James you knew, either."
At that, Sirius smiles. "You're closer than you think, Prongs."
Even behind the glasses, Sirius can see James' eyes start to tear up. "But you don't need me," Sirius adds.
James steps forward and embraces Sirius. "When you find Harry, tell him we love him."
"I will."
"And tell Remus. Tell him we miss him."
"I will," Sirius promises, and tightens his arms around James one last time.
*
When James and Sirius come back up to the Department of Mysteries, they find an even larger crowd than they expected; a blond woman and a red-haired man are talking to Rose, while a little girl stands at their feet, carefully fingering one of her braids. Sirius walks over to Harry and Luna and exchanges farewells before heading over to see Rose. He makes sure to hug Harry hard, in case he never sees any version of Harry ever again.
"It's my mum and dad, and my sister," Rose says by way of explanation when Sirius finally goes to find her.
The woman who must be Rose's mum turns around, looks Sirius up and down. "Sirius Black," she says scornfully.
Not sure what to do in the face of the woman's formidable anger, Sirius takes a step back. Jackie rolls her eyes and turns back to her daughter.
"See if you can still reach us by your mobile when you get there, all right?" she says.
"She's not flying to the States, Jackie," the man says.
Rose and Jackie both ignore him. "I will, Mum."
"And tell the Doctor that if he doesn't take care of you, alternate universe or not, I'll come over there and slap the daylights out of him."
"Yes, Mum."
"And you," Jackie says, turning on Sirius. "The same goes for you, too, you know."
"I've never been threatened by someone's mum before," Sirius says. Jackie glares at him. Sirius shrugs. "Makes for a change, I suppose."
Sirius moves away as Jackie hugs Rose tightly, letting Rose's family have their good-byes in private, though Sirius sees tears springing to Rose's eyes.
Lily is standing on the dais, the breeze that causes the curtain to sway ruffling her skirt just a bit. "They say you just have to go through," she greets Sirius.
Sirius shrugs again. "That's all I did the last time." He glances down at Rose, where Mickey and Jake are taking their turns hugging her, Rachel waiting for her last embrace.
"We'll miss you," Lily says softly.
"You already miss me," Sirius counters.
"True. But any Sirius Black is special." Lily smiles.
"You're okay, you know that, Evans?"
"I know," Lily says, reaching up and giving Sirius a kiss on the cheek.
Rose is coming up to the archway with a backpack strapped on as Lily pulls away. Lily and Rose embrace, and Sirius is just close enough to hear Lily say, "Always follow the magic, Rose," before she pulls away.
"I will," Rose says, before turning around and waving, then taking Sirius' hand.
Sirius is startled at the gesture, but he entwines his fingers with Rose's.
"Show me your moves," she says as Sirius leads her behind the Veil.
*
This, Sirius remembers. It's cold. Freezing in fact. There's no light this time, but there is warmth. It takes him a matter of moments, or minutes, or hours, or days, or years, perhaps, to realize that the warmth is coming from beside him, coming from his hand. He can't quite place why this is important, but he knows that it is.
The first thing he's aware of this time is a sneeze. It's light, and feminine. How a sneeze can be light and feminine, he's not sure, but this one is. With great care, Sirius rolls his head to the side. It's pounding, and he's afraid that if he moves it too far or too fast, it will break.
There's a woman next to him. She's young, and blonde, and she's holding his hand. He blinks before he recognizes her, flashes to the first time he saw her, much when he felt like this before.
"Rose?"
"My head hurts," she says, opening her eyes, but not looking at him.
"It's all okay." Sirius tries to soothe her.
She blinks. "Where are we?"
"I don't know." Sirius knows he should sit up, should look at their surroundings, figure out where they are, but it all seems like too much effort.
Rose's eyes are already slowly closing again. "Doesn't matter," Rose says. "Later."
"Later," Sirius agrees, and closes his eyes, giving into the pain and sleep.
*
Now there are stars. But they're not ordinary stars. They are huge, filling Sirius' vision with light and glory. He cannot contain them, they are so magnificent. They leave him breathless as they grow brighter and brighter, merging together until they form one giant, graceful entity.
Twin suns also fill the sky. Large and yellow, they run through their cycle, going from yellow to gold to orange to red right before Sirius' eyes. For some reason he finds this funny, and laughs.
The suns rise again, and this time they are moons. Big and bright and full, they fill the night sky, blotting out the stars and even the blackness of space. They burn Sirius, like flame, and he can smell the scents they leave on his charred skin, the smell of grass and fur and sand.
Again, Sirius wakes to the sound of a woman's voice. But it's an unfamiliar one; he knows it's not Rose's and he panics a little. He squeezes the fingers of one hand and feels nothing. He squeezes the fingers of the other, and feels warmth, which keeps the waves of panic at bay. His eyelids feel too heavy to open.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to people just appearing out of nowhere," the voice is saying.
A man's voice answers. London accent, much like Rose's. "Oh, come on, people don't just appear out of nowhere." There's a pause, a muttering from the woman that Sirius can't quite catch.
"We're here aren't we? Didn't the TARDIS pick up some kind of anomaly in the space-time continuum here?"
"Well, yes. But you know the old girl. She's temperamental sometimes." The man's voice is muffled, as if he's far away, though Sirius can tell he's not, not if he and the woman are bickering.
"Still, I'm pretty sure she didn't just conjure these two up. We've been parked here for days, running test after test, and then suddenly, here they are."
"They're probably homeless."
"And homeless people appear out of thin air, do they?"
"Maybe." The man seems to pause. "Out of then air, you say?"
"I was watching the lawn. One second they weren't there, the next, they are."
There's a loud clanking noise nearby. Soon after, the man says, "Don't worry. Perfectly harmless. Just calibrating the dimensional adapter."
Sirius hears the woman sigh.
Suddenly, the man's voice gets closer. "What did you say the name of this place is?"
"I didn't. It's just some new park they dedicated in the middle of London two months ago. Used to be some building here."
"Yes, yes, but what's the name?"
There's the sound of footsteps crunching grass near Sirius' head, then an answer. "Bad Wolf Commons. That's strange, isn't it?"
Abruptly, the man's voice is much closer, clearer, as if he'd finally gotten out of a box. "Maybe not so strange after all," he says, and even Sirius can hear the catch in his voice.
Footsteps pound across the grass, and it's as if Sirius can feel every pull of gravity, every broken blade of grass, every turn of the earth.
There's a larger drop, gravity working on a large object, and it's near him but not next to him. Sirius can feel that someone has knelt down next to Rose.
The woman's voice this time, startled, slightly worried. "Doctor? Doctor? What is it?"
Oh, Sirius thinks.
Hands are moving next to Sirius, he can feel them; next to him, but not on him, must be hovering over Rose. With a monumental effort, Sirius opens his heavy eyelids, fights against gravity itself to keep them open. He rolls his head and slants them a bit until he can see Rose, make sure she's there.
She is there, and Sirius was right about the movement, right about the fact that someone is hovering over Rose, fingers ghosting over, but not quite touching her arm, her hand, her face.
The man is kneeling in the grass. He's wearing a brown pinstripe suit and trainers, his hair a medium brown and sticking up at the back. His hand finally settles, cupping Rose's cheek.
She seems to wake at the touch, her eyes opening, her brow furrowing in pain. She moans softly, and it echoes through Sirius, radiates through his head, too.
"Rose?" the man asks softly, his voice tentative and hopeful, like the beating of new wings.
"My head . . . it's killing me," Rose says, human, breaking.
"I think you need a Doctor," the man says, and leans down, kissing her softly.
Oh, Sirius thinks again before letting himself settle back into the dreams, content in the knowledge that at least one of them is home again.
*
It's not like Sirius doesn't appreciate the company. Martha is okay - smart, edgy, good to talk to. Rose is Rose, and Sirius knows that no matter what comes next, he will always care about her. The Doctor talks too much, possibly, but he makes for great company. He is fascinated to meet a wizard again - having been part of the Goblin revolt in 1759 - and he is really the only person Sirius can talk to about his world.
But most of all, Sirius appreciates the ride they give him.
Rose and Sirius did land in London, in 2010, exactly as Luna had predicted - where the old Ministry of Magic building, and the Department of Mysteries, had been. The Ministry had moved headquarters in 1999, two years after Harry's defeat of Voldemort. They'd torn the old place down and moved most of the artifacts to the new site before drumming up enough support among the wizarding community to landscape the former property into a park for Muggles. Sirius privately thinks that was actually a stab at keeping the Statute of Secrecy rather than a gesture of goodwill toward the Muggles, but either way, he doesn't really care. The fact is that the Doctor's TARDIS had detected the increasing dimensional shifting that was occurring in preparation for Rose and Sirius' arrival, and therefore the Doctor was in the right place at the right time. The Doctor closed the dimensional port, of course, as Rose and Sirius had both known he would, though both carry sadness about that fact, and probably will for the rest of their days.
For Sirius, fifteen years are still gone. As a man who has lost years of his life before, the feeling is oddly familiar, though unsettling nonetheless. A brief question and answer session with the Doctor over whether Sirius could return to the time he left, 1995, had ended with the Doctor refusing to allow Sirius to cross his own timeline, and with Sirius in a rage. Sirius knows that this mysterious Doctor endures more wisdom about time and space and paradoxes than Sirius or any other man will ever accumulate in his entire lifetime, but Sirius is stubborn, and prone to brooding. Still, Rose's gentle friendship and cups of Irish Breakfast are a minor salve to Sirius' wounds, and Sirius comes to the realization, as he had once before, that freedom and a chance at a new life are more important than any years he's lost.
It only took a cursory skimming through the archives of The Daily Prophet, downloaded into the TARDIS' computer by the Doctor, for Sirius to learn that Harry is indeed alive, and, it seems, well. He had defeated Voldemort and then gone into seclusion for a few years, though around four years ago he had entered into some sort of public life again, accepting the DADA position under McGonagall's reign as Headmistress of Hogwarts. A small wedding announcement told Sirius that Harry had married Ginny after all, and a birth announcement two years later informed Sirius that Harry even has a daughter, Lily May Potter.
But there was nothing in the archives about Remus. Not a mention in any story about the war, or about the rebuilding, or about Hogwarts. There isn't an obituary, even, and Sirius tries to take that as a good sign; surely Harry would have seen to it that proper respect was paid, even if no one else did.
So when Sirius is ready, he has the TARDIS drop him off in front of The Leaky Cauldron. They would have taken him straight to Remus, straight to anywhere in the universe, Sirius knows, but he doesn't know where Remus is, and not even the TARDIS can riddle that out without more information. For some things, Sirius thinks, magic really is better.
As he takes his leave, the Doctor shakes his hand, and Rose cries softly while they embrace. She slips her mobile number into his jacket pocket, telling him to call her as soon as he is ready. Sirius isn't sure how many companions the Doctor actually wants, but regardless, he knows he will be having tea with Rose on a regular basis.
The TARDIS leaves, the by-now-familiar grinding noise fading into the distance, leaving Sirius alone in the middle of the night, standing in a patch of London drizzle waiting for the Knight Bus. He waits so long he is surprised when it appears almost out of nowhere, banging around the corner. It pulls to a shuddering stop in front of him, and the double doors open to reveal an older, much less acne-prone Stan Shunpike.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, transportation of choice for stranded witches and wizards. Five galleons for a standard issue fare, back of the bus, no bed. Eight for a bed. Ten for a bed and breakfast in the morning. I suggest you pay the full ten, sir. It's a ways to Hogsmeade these days, what with the roads being washed out by some spring flooding."
Sirius pays the full ten and boards the bus, knowing for the first time thanks to Shunpike where he's actually going. He uses the bed, but sleeps little, and the only breakfast he eats is two cups of coffee and one of tea. He has just finished the cup of tea when the Knight bus bangs and shudders, suddenly appearing in the middle of a road lined with small, modest homes.
"Hogsmeade, Scotland, 1117 Fardale Road, residence of one Mr. Remus Lupin," Stan announces over the new loudspeaker, though Sirius is the only passenger on the bus. Sirius makes his way to the front of the bus as Stan awkwardly collects Sirius' one bag. Stan hands Sirius' bag to him as Sirius walks down the Bus' steps. Once off the Bus, Sirius fishes in his pocket, handing Stan a galleon for a tip. Shunpike nods his thanks before yelling at the driver for them to be on their way. The Bus bangs out of sight once again, leaving Sirius in front of a modest two story cottage, with a small garden in front, and magical herb beds hanging from the front upstairs windows.
Swallowing hard, Sirius knocks on the front door. He waits for several minutes, but there is no answer. He knocks again, a little louder this time. Still no answer.
Out of curiosity, Sirius decides to make his away around the house, to see if there's a back door or to at least get a better feel for the layout of the house. As he rounds the back corner, Sirius suddenly stops. Remus is in the back garden, tilling, and pulling out the occasional gnome, then shooing it across the lawn. He's wearing a blue jumper with a white shirt underneath, and faded jeans. He's also barefoot, his toes curling in the dirt. Sirius doesn't want to startle him, tries not to make too much noise, but he must make some unexpected move because he watches Remus still in the moment before he goes straight for his wand, which has been lying on the grass near him.
Remus turns, bringing his wand to bear. "I don't tolerate visitors well," he says. "Especially unexpected ones."
Sirius automatically drops the bag he's carrying, but he doesn't reach for the wand in his jacket pocket. He just stands there, watching emotions flit across Remus' face - fear, recognition, disbelief, doubt, anger.
"Whomever you are, this isn't funny," Remus says, his wand shaking, Sirius almost afraid Remus will fire off a curse or two.
"I assure you, I'm not laughing, either," Sirius replies.
"You can't be."
"I am."
"I know. I can smell . . . it's been fifteen years."
"Moony."
"No one calls me that. No one has called me that."
"Not in a long time, I'm sure."
Slowly, Remus lowers his wand. "You might as well come in. I'll fix you some tea."
To tell the truth, Sirius has had enough caffeine this morning between the coffee and the tea on the Knight Bus, but he knows better than to decline. "Better to distract me until the Aurors come?" he says.
"Think what you'd like."
"All right," Sirius says easily.
He follows Remus into the house. The backdoor opens directly into the kitchen, and Remus immediately puts the kettle on, tapping it a little harder than necessary with a warming charm. Sirius watches as Remus opens and shuts cabinets, pulling out tea bags and mugs, sugar and honey. Remus hasn't used his wand yet except on the kettle, but Sirius knows that Remus has plenty of ways to use it covertly. Sirius doesn't sit at the small kitchen table, though he knows Remus wants him to.
"You're dead," Remus finally says.
"I've been dead before."
"No, you've been in prison before," Remus says quietly, and Sirius winces, the quiet accusation hitting home.
"I wasn't dead. Just gone."
"Gone where?"
"It wasn't my choice."
"You say, but we needed you here." Remus takes the kettle off the stove, pours two mugs full over Darjeeling tea bags.
"I wanted to be here."
Remus hands a mug over to Sirius. "Yet here we are in my kitchen, a decade and a half later."
Sirius tastes the tea - it's too hot, scalding his tongue.
"I came back for you," Sirius says, feeling the sting of the water burn on his lips, tongue, knowing what it was like to leave James and Lily and Harry behind on a whim that maybe, just maybe, Remus needed him. As if Remus has ever needed anyone.
"For me - what. Why?"
"Because. Because you're the only person I've ever needed."
Remus snorts. "As if you ever needed anyone."
Suddenly Sirius feels that gaping sadness behind his breastbone, the one that always seems to kill him. "I needed you when I was fifteen and confused. I needed you at sixteen when I was stupid and reckless and cruel. I needed you when I was seventeen and in love and kissing you was like the rising of the tide. I needed you when I was twenty and afraid and blind. I needed you when I was twenty one and cold and alone. I needed you at thirty three, when I was hungry and tired and guilty. I needed you at thirty five when I was angry and depressed and lonely. I needed you every time you loved me. Every time you wanted me. Every time you hated me, or just managed to tolerate me. I need you now, whether you believe me or not."
"You're still selfish," Remus says, mug shaking in his hand.
"Yes," Sirius says.
"What if I can't?"
"You can, Moony. You've always been able to do anything." Sirius steps closer and Remus drops his mug altogether, tea splashing down and shards of ceramic skittering across the floor.
"Reparo," Remus whispers, his hands skittering the back of the counter as he holds on, allowing Sirius close enough to place gentle lips over his own.
The mug flies up onto the table, jagged pieces knitting back together, showing cracks but still capable of being filled again and again and again.
Part One
Part Two
Author: krabapple
Summary: The more things change, the more they change. Sirius Black and Rose Tyler face brave new worlds.
Fandom: Harry Potter/Doctor Who (2005)
Pairing: Rose Tyler/Doctor (Ten); Sirius Black/Remus Lupin. Characters: Rose Tyler, Sirius Black
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All belongs to J.K. Rowling, the BBC, and other credited parties.
Original story: On the Other Side by thistlerose
Notes: Thank you to my beta such_heights, and to thistlerose for allowing me to work with her fiction. Spoilers for HP through Half-Blood Prince and for Doctor Who through Season 3's Smith and Jones.
This fic is divided into two parts due to length.
The first part can be found here: Part One
This post is part two. Part Two
Rose comes down to breakfast little worse for the wear the next morning. She's meeting Sirius, Mickey and the Potters at the Department of Mysteries near lunchtime, but until then she has the Saturday morning to herself.
Her mum is cooking breakfast. Scrambled eggs are piling up on the plate on the counter, and bacon, crisp and fresh on the sideboard, also sizzles in the pan. Rose nicks a piece of bacon from the sideboard and sits at the table between her dad and Rachel. Pete is reading the paper, Rachel working on coloring in a picture. Rose pours some coffee and looks over at Rachel's drawing.
"That's nice," Rose comments, smiling. Rachel, all brown hair and big blue eyes, looks up and grins, pleased.
"It's our house," Rachel explains, pointing to dots of pink. "Those are the tulips, that's the sun."
"It's brilliant," Rose agrees. "Can I have it for my room?"
"Sure!" her sister says. "I just have to finish the chimney and then it's all yours."
"Perfect," Rose says, seeing her dad smile out of the corner of her eye.
"Gonna take it with you?" Jackie asks, setting the plates of bacon and eggs on the table.
"Mum?" Rose asks, seeing Rachel look up.
"When that bloke who landed in the shop goes back, and you go with him, you gonna take Rachel's picture with you?"
"Mum!" Rose exclaims, setting her coffee down with a splash.
Pete calmly folds his paper and sets it on the table. He addresses his young daughter, who is staring wide-eyed at her mother and sister. "Rachel, why don't you take your drawing and finish it in your room? You've already had your fill of toast and jam."
"Dad -" Rachel starts to protest, but a look from Pete and her mouth closes. With one last look at her mum she walks out of the room, feet thumping on the stairs.
"Now then," Pete starts, but Rose cuts him off.
"How do you even know about that?" Rose asks, getting up from the table and storming to the refrigerator, hand poised to throw it open.
"Jake and Mickey came round this morning -"
"Mickey! I should have known he couldn't keep his mouth shut!" Rose exclaims, fishing the milk out of the fridge with a vengeance.
"Now don't blame Mickey, Rose, he was only trying to help."
"Trying to meddle, more like it," Rose starts, but this time Pete succeeds in getting a word in between the two women.
"As I was saying, Jackie, there's no reason to get ahead of ourselves. We don't even know if this bloke knows the way back. If there is a way back."
"There is," Rose says stubbornly, and the first time she says it aloud is the first time she realizes just how much she thinks it's true.
"And so there you go, off again," Jackie starts. "Not a word to us, just disappear." Jackie stalks over to the stove, pours water for tea and then slams the kettle down.
"It's not like that this time," Rose says.
"No, it's not Rose. This time, you've got all of us. Me, Pete, your sister. Mickey. Are you really going to leave all of us to go God knows where?"
Rose can't bring herself to speak it, but they all know the answer.
"Is he really worth it Rose?" Jackie asks.
"Yes."
"He finds other companions, doesn't he? You weren't the first. He probably has someone else already. Probably had her for a long time now," Jackie says.
Rose's face goes very still. "I was different from the others; I'm different from anyone . . ."
"You think so? But he's not alone, is he? He's not alone, roaming the galaxy, and you know it, Rose! He's already found someone else, and he's traveling with her now. I would have protected you and that man until my dying day, but you didn't need me. He doesn't need you. And you'd still leave us, leave all of us? For that? For nothing?"
Rose's voice shakes, but it's still understandable. "Yes."
Jackie sets her jaw and walks out of the kitchen, oblivious to Pete's call of, "Jacks," after her.
Rose sighs, and slams the heel of her hand on the counter.
"Do what you have to do, Rose, but don't do it lightly," Pete says quietly before leaving after his wife.
Rose lifts her head and looks in their wake, watching the door for a long time before looking down and moving her hair out of her eyes with one hand.
*
St. Mungo's is quiet this time of the morning. The nurses have just started their morning shifts, and they are softly bustling around, arranging charts, folders, and schedules. Sirius and James walk through the halls without interruption; no one bothers the Minister of Magic, especially as most of the staff knows the reason he is here, who he's visiting, and if they wonder about the dark haired man with him today, they don't speak of it in James' hearing.
They enter the Closed Ward, where several medi-witches and wizards nod politely to James. They briefly acknowledge Sirius as he and James walk the corridor. The walls are white, almost blindingly so, and there's an inescapable smell of antiseptic in the air. The ward is open for the most part, patients given a bit of privacy by thick curtains where appropriate.
But James continues to walk the hall until the very end, where a handful of private rooms are clustered. He stops outside one of the rooms, looks at Sirius. His gaze asks are you sure, but he doesn't ask the question aloud, and Sirius respects James even more for that.
"I can wait, if you'd like," James says.
Sirius shakes his head. "I can find my own way out."
James manages not to look skeptical at this, and only nods. "I'll be in the Visitor's Lounge."
Sirius nods in acknowledgment, and James squeezes his arm briefly before turning around and walking back down the corridor. Sirius hesitates with his hand on the doorknob, just a bit, before turning the knob and entering the room.
Remus' room is quiet, and, Sirius finds with no surprise, quite pleasant. Lily's influence is everywhere; there are scores of plants, flowers, bulbs and magical herbs. The room is painted a soft, soothing yellow, unlike the stark white along the hallway and by the other beds. A bed, neatly made, with a thick down spread on top is nestled against one corner, and there are several windows. Bookshelves and books line two entire walls, though they are all perfectly in line, not jumbled or tipped or stacked like Sirius knows Remus keeps his books.
Remus is sitting by the largest window, to the right of the doorway. He doesn't even look up at the sound of a person entering the room. Instead, he continues to stare outside, looking at something Sirius can't see from his angle. Remus' hair is completely silver, though he looks younger than he does in Sirius' universe, even though he is, in fact, many years older. There are few lines in his face, just a bit of webbing around the corners of his mouth. He is dressed simply in khaki trousers and a brown jumper, his feet covered only with white socks. He's sitting a rocking chair, and the chair creaks slightly as Remus rocks back and forth. It's the only sound in the room.
"Remus?" Sirius ventures softly, almost afraid to break the serenity of the room.
Remus looks up, over at Sirius, but there is no recognition in his eyes.
"Is it time for supper already?" Remus asks.
Sirius shakes his head, walks over to where Remus is sitting. He kneels down, sits on his knees in front of Remus.
"Not yet. Not time for supper yet," Sirius says.
"Oh," Remus says. He goes back to rocking.
Sirius sits quietly for a moment, just watching Remus' gentle rocking motion. He reaches out a hand, lifting his palm up, letting his fingertips grace Remus' cheek before his palm cups Remus' jaw. Remus doesn't flinch or move away; his skin is warm and smooth, unscarred by the wolf and untouched by time. Remus' mouth doesn't twitch, the corner lifting up for Sirius to kiss; it doesn't frown, telling Sirius this is not the time for touch. Remus' face is unguarded. It is completely still. There's not a ripple under Sirius' hand that means Remus is tense, or a movement near Remus' ear that says he's cross with Sirius. There's no tightening of Remus' jaw, either in anger or exasperation or desire; there's no smile of invitation or affection or forgiveness.
"I am so sorry this happened to you, Moony," Sirius whispers.
"It's not time for supper yet," Remus replies.
Sirius smiles sadly, and, pulling Remus' head toward him, leans up and over and kisses Remus gently on the forehead. He pulls back and rests his head on Remus' knee. Remus goes back to rocking.
"No, not yet," Sirius agrees.
*
Rose is the last one to arrive at the Ministry that afternoon. Luna escorts her up to the top floor of the building, and they go through a series of doors before reaching the Department of Mysteries. They find the others in a large room full of steps, almost like bleachers, with a large archway on a dais in the middle of the floor. A flimsy piece of curtain attached to the arch sways as if in a breeze.
Jake and Mickey have already arrived and set up Torchwood standard equipment around the archway. Most of the dials and meters are dead still, but there's one making a slight whistling sound as the needle moves off the scale. The Potters and Sirius are standing on the other side of the Veil from Jake and Mickey, and Rose sees another man standing with them, young, just a bit older than her, if that. Probably Luna's age. Luna waves and the young man turns and waves back, so Rose has a better angle to see him clearly. When she does, she realizes belatedly that this is Harry Potter; he looks just like James, except with deliberate mistakes - a slightly different nose, Lily's green eyes. His smile is warm and friendly as Luna and Rose walk over.
Harry gives Luna a warm hug, and extends a hand to Rose. "Harry Potter. It's nice to meet you."
"Same here," Rose says, glancing briefly at Sirius. He looks grave, but not frightened, though his eyes are dark.
Rose turns to shout across at Jake and Mickey. "How's it going?"
"She shows up late and then starts shoutin' about progress," Mickey says, shaking his head.
"Needs to learn some manners, that one," Jake agrees.
Rose rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. Mickey laughs.
"Okay, okay, we give. The Dimensional Rift Meter is going wild." Mickey points to the machine Rose noticed earlier, the one with the meter off the scale. "Definitely looks like something is up."
"But he didn't come out here," Rose says.
"No, but I have a theory on that," Luna says, and everyone turns to look at her.
"In Sirius' world, the Veil is probably in a different place. I mean, it's still in the Department of Mysteries, in the Ministry of Magic, but the actual location might be different."
"But then if he goes back through here, won't he end up in a different place in his world?" Rose asks.
Sirius shrugs. "Probably. But there, I could find my way around."
"And there's no Torchwood to interfere," Mickey adds.
"As far as we know. They could have rebuilt in the last four years." Rose steps over, looks at the reading on the machine.
"Maybe," Jake agrees.
"You all are talking like you're automatically going to go back." James comes up, stands beside Rose.
Rose and Sirius exchange glances. Mickey rises from where he's been examining equipment. "That's 'cause they are," he says, glaring at Rose before looking at the ground.
"Mickey," Rose and Jake say at the same time.
"But you don't know. You don't know if it will even work. Where the Veil could take you this time. It could take you back home, or to another alternate universe, or to death." James stops, looks at his wife.
"You don't have to go," Lily says to Sirius, though Rose knows Lily's including her, too.
Rose looks at Mickey and Jake, James and Lily, Harry and Luna. "No one's going anywhere just yet," she says before stepping up to the dais, her hand reaching out, gently grazing the curtain.
*
Rose finds Sirius sitting on the steps in front of the Veil. The others have gone down to James' office for a late lunch after agreeing to let the machines work on their own for a little while longer. Sirius had left shortly after barely touching a sandwich, but James and Lily had allowed him to go, knowing he might need some time away. When Rose started to feel like she needed to go, too, she went back upstairs.
Rose sits next to Sirius without saying a word. They sit in silence for a long time before Sirius finally says, "No one needs me here."
"That's not true," Rose answers.
Sirius laughs, and it's not necessarily a pleasant sound. "Lily and James have each other. They're happy, successful, loved. They have Harry, who is amazing. Happy. Whole." He pauses. "Remus. Remus doesn't need anyone, not anymore."
"It's not about being needed," Rose says.
"Isn't it?"
Rose clasps her hands, looks down, leaning her forehead on her fist. "He didn't have anyone. The Doctor. His whole world was gone. I was all he had; I had decided to stay with him, even when Mickey had come over. Even after my mum had decided to come over. That was my life." She pauses. "He needed me."
Sirius realizes Rose is crying by the sound of her voice, the small shaking of her shoulders.
"You needed him," Sirius adds, and Rose nods her head.
"I left everything for him. Just for a chance. And now I'm willing to do it all over again," Rose says. "Will do it all over again."
"I don't even have that," Sirius says quietly. "Harry. Harry might have needed me then, but now? What if it is 2010? He'd be thirty. If he's even still alive." Sirius pauses at the thought. "And Remus. Remus and I were trying, we really were. But I was - I am - so angry, so. Well, Azkaban did not do wonders for my temper, and Grimmauld Place did nothing for my state of mind. Sometimes I think he barely tolerated me. That he put up with me, was with me, out of habit, or some sense of duty, instead of out of love. You might have the Doctor, but what do I have to go back to?"
"The Doctor always moves on," Rose says.
"Everyone always moves on."
Rose looks up at him, eyes red from crying, cheeks stained with tears. "So where does that leave us?"
"Nowhere," Sirius answers.
*
It's cold in James' office. The air conditioner had been turned up when there had been many people crowded inside, but now that everyone has left, it is significantly cooler. Sirius walks in, feeling a burst of cold air float across his skin from a vent in the ceiling.
"Sirius Black, always doing the opposite of everyone else. People come down to eat, you stay up to think. People go up to think, you come down to eat," James says, rising from his place behind his desk.
"You were my brother, you know," Sirius says, ignoring James' remarks.
James stops, stands in front of him. "And you were mine."
"I never thought I'd see you again, not until I was dead, too. And maybe I am," Sirius goes on. "To you, I am."
"You were."
Sirius shakes his head. "The Sirius you knew is dead James, and you know it. I'm not him. I'm not even close to him. We both know that."
"That doesn't mean you don't matter to us."
Sirius nods.
"I'm not the James you knew, either."
At that, Sirius smiles. "You're closer than you think, Prongs."
Even behind the glasses, Sirius can see James' eyes start to tear up. "But you don't need me," Sirius adds.
James steps forward and embraces Sirius. "When you find Harry, tell him we love him."
"I will."
"And tell Remus. Tell him we miss him."
"I will," Sirius promises, and tightens his arms around James one last time.
*
When James and Sirius come back up to the Department of Mysteries, they find an even larger crowd than they expected; a blond woman and a red-haired man are talking to Rose, while a little girl stands at their feet, carefully fingering one of her braids. Sirius walks over to Harry and Luna and exchanges farewells before heading over to see Rose. He makes sure to hug Harry hard, in case he never sees any version of Harry ever again.
"It's my mum and dad, and my sister," Rose says by way of explanation when Sirius finally goes to find her.
The woman who must be Rose's mum turns around, looks Sirius up and down. "Sirius Black," she says scornfully.
Not sure what to do in the face of the woman's formidable anger, Sirius takes a step back. Jackie rolls her eyes and turns back to her daughter.
"See if you can still reach us by your mobile when you get there, all right?" she says.
"She's not flying to the States, Jackie," the man says.
Rose and Jackie both ignore him. "I will, Mum."
"And tell the Doctor that if he doesn't take care of you, alternate universe or not, I'll come over there and slap the daylights out of him."
"Yes, Mum."
"And you," Jackie says, turning on Sirius. "The same goes for you, too, you know."
"I've never been threatened by someone's mum before," Sirius says. Jackie glares at him. Sirius shrugs. "Makes for a change, I suppose."
Sirius moves away as Jackie hugs Rose tightly, letting Rose's family have their good-byes in private, though Sirius sees tears springing to Rose's eyes.
Lily is standing on the dais, the breeze that causes the curtain to sway ruffling her skirt just a bit. "They say you just have to go through," she greets Sirius.
Sirius shrugs again. "That's all I did the last time." He glances down at Rose, where Mickey and Jake are taking their turns hugging her, Rachel waiting for her last embrace.
"We'll miss you," Lily says softly.
"You already miss me," Sirius counters.
"True. But any Sirius Black is special." Lily smiles.
"You're okay, you know that, Evans?"
"I know," Lily says, reaching up and giving Sirius a kiss on the cheek.
Rose is coming up to the archway with a backpack strapped on as Lily pulls away. Lily and Rose embrace, and Sirius is just close enough to hear Lily say, "Always follow the magic, Rose," before she pulls away.
"I will," Rose says, before turning around and waving, then taking Sirius' hand.
Sirius is startled at the gesture, but he entwines his fingers with Rose's.
"Show me your moves," she says as Sirius leads her behind the Veil.
*
This, Sirius remembers. It's cold. Freezing in fact. There's no light this time, but there is warmth. It takes him a matter of moments, or minutes, or hours, or days, or years, perhaps, to realize that the warmth is coming from beside him, coming from his hand. He can't quite place why this is important, but he knows that it is.
The first thing he's aware of this time is a sneeze. It's light, and feminine. How a sneeze can be light and feminine, he's not sure, but this one is. With great care, Sirius rolls his head to the side. It's pounding, and he's afraid that if he moves it too far or too fast, it will break.
There's a woman next to him. She's young, and blonde, and she's holding his hand. He blinks before he recognizes her, flashes to the first time he saw her, much when he felt like this before.
"Rose?"
"My head hurts," she says, opening her eyes, but not looking at him.
"It's all okay." Sirius tries to soothe her.
She blinks. "Where are we?"
"I don't know." Sirius knows he should sit up, should look at their surroundings, figure out where they are, but it all seems like too much effort.
Rose's eyes are already slowly closing again. "Doesn't matter," Rose says. "Later."
"Later," Sirius agrees, and closes his eyes, giving into the pain and sleep.
*
Now there are stars. But they're not ordinary stars. They are huge, filling Sirius' vision with light and glory. He cannot contain them, they are so magnificent. They leave him breathless as they grow brighter and brighter, merging together until they form one giant, graceful entity.
Twin suns also fill the sky. Large and yellow, they run through their cycle, going from yellow to gold to orange to red right before Sirius' eyes. For some reason he finds this funny, and laughs.
The suns rise again, and this time they are moons. Big and bright and full, they fill the night sky, blotting out the stars and even the blackness of space. They burn Sirius, like flame, and he can smell the scents they leave on his charred skin, the smell of grass and fur and sand.
Again, Sirius wakes to the sound of a woman's voice. But it's an unfamiliar one; he knows it's not Rose's and he panics a little. He squeezes the fingers of one hand and feels nothing. He squeezes the fingers of the other, and feels warmth, which keeps the waves of panic at bay. His eyelids feel too heavy to open.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to people just appearing out of nowhere," the voice is saying.
A man's voice answers. London accent, much like Rose's. "Oh, come on, people don't just appear out of nowhere." There's a pause, a muttering from the woman that Sirius can't quite catch.
"We're here aren't we? Didn't the TARDIS pick up some kind of anomaly in the space-time continuum here?"
"Well, yes. But you know the old girl. She's temperamental sometimes." The man's voice is muffled, as if he's far away, though Sirius can tell he's not, not if he and the woman are bickering.
"Still, I'm pretty sure she didn't just conjure these two up. We've been parked here for days, running test after test, and then suddenly, here they are."
"They're probably homeless."
"And homeless people appear out of thin air, do they?"
"Maybe." The man seems to pause. "Out of then air, you say?"
"I was watching the lawn. One second they weren't there, the next, they are."
There's a loud clanking noise nearby. Soon after, the man says, "Don't worry. Perfectly harmless. Just calibrating the dimensional adapter."
Sirius hears the woman sigh.
Suddenly, the man's voice gets closer. "What did you say the name of this place is?"
"I didn't. It's just some new park they dedicated in the middle of London two months ago. Used to be some building here."
"Yes, yes, but what's the name?"
There's the sound of footsteps crunching grass near Sirius' head, then an answer. "Bad Wolf Commons. That's strange, isn't it?"
Abruptly, the man's voice is much closer, clearer, as if he'd finally gotten out of a box. "Maybe not so strange after all," he says, and even Sirius can hear the catch in his voice.
Footsteps pound across the grass, and it's as if Sirius can feel every pull of gravity, every broken blade of grass, every turn of the earth.
There's a larger drop, gravity working on a large object, and it's near him but not next to him. Sirius can feel that someone has knelt down next to Rose.
The woman's voice this time, startled, slightly worried. "Doctor? Doctor? What is it?"
Oh, Sirius thinks.
Hands are moving next to Sirius, he can feel them; next to him, but not on him, must be hovering over Rose. With a monumental effort, Sirius opens his heavy eyelids, fights against gravity itself to keep them open. He rolls his head and slants them a bit until he can see Rose, make sure she's there.
She is there, and Sirius was right about the movement, right about the fact that someone is hovering over Rose, fingers ghosting over, but not quite touching her arm, her hand, her face.
The man is kneeling in the grass. He's wearing a brown pinstripe suit and trainers, his hair a medium brown and sticking up at the back. His hand finally settles, cupping Rose's cheek.
She seems to wake at the touch, her eyes opening, her brow furrowing in pain. She moans softly, and it echoes through Sirius, radiates through his head, too.
"Rose?" the man asks softly, his voice tentative and hopeful, like the beating of new wings.
"My head . . . it's killing me," Rose says, human, breaking.
"I think you need a Doctor," the man says, and leans down, kissing her softly.
Oh, Sirius thinks again before letting himself settle back into the dreams, content in the knowledge that at least one of them is home again.
*
It's not like Sirius doesn't appreciate the company. Martha is okay - smart, edgy, good to talk to. Rose is Rose, and Sirius knows that no matter what comes next, he will always care about her. The Doctor talks too much, possibly, but he makes for great company. He is fascinated to meet a wizard again - having been part of the Goblin revolt in 1759 - and he is really the only person Sirius can talk to about his world.
But most of all, Sirius appreciates the ride they give him.
Rose and Sirius did land in London, in 2010, exactly as Luna had predicted - where the old Ministry of Magic building, and the Department of Mysteries, had been. The Ministry had moved headquarters in 1999, two years after Harry's defeat of Voldemort. They'd torn the old place down and moved most of the artifacts to the new site before drumming up enough support among the wizarding community to landscape the former property into a park for Muggles. Sirius privately thinks that was actually a stab at keeping the Statute of Secrecy rather than a gesture of goodwill toward the Muggles, but either way, he doesn't really care. The fact is that the Doctor's TARDIS had detected the increasing dimensional shifting that was occurring in preparation for Rose and Sirius' arrival, and therefore the Doctor was in the right place at the right time. The Doctor closed the dimensional port, of course, as Rose and Sirius had both known he would, though both carry sadness about that fact, and probably will for the rest of their days.
For Sirius, fifteen years are still gone. As a man who has lost years of his life before, the feeling is oddly familiar, though unsettling nonetheless. A brief question and answer session with the Doctor over whether Sirius could return to the time he left, 1995, had ended with the Doctor refusing to allow Sirius to cross his own timeline, and with Sirius in a rage. Sirius knows that this mysterious Doctor endures more wisdom about time and space and paradoxes than Sirius or any other man will ever accumulate in his entire lifetime, but Sirius is stubborn, and prone to brooding. Still, Rose's gentle friendship and cups of Irish Breakfast are a minor salve to Sirius' wounds, and Sirius comes to the realization, as he had once before, that freedom and a chance at a new life are more important than any years he's lost.
It only took a cursory skimming through the archives of The Daily Prophet, downloaded into the TARDIS' computer by the Doctor, for Sirius to learn that Harry is indeed alive, and, it seems, well. He had defeated Voldemort and then gone into seclusion for a few years, though around four years ago he had entered into some sort of public life again, accepting the DADA position under McGonagall's reign as Headmistress of Hogwarts. A small wedding announcement told Sirius that Harry had married Ginny after all, and a birth announcement two years later informed Sirius that Harry even has a daughter, Lily May Potter.
But there was nothing in the archives about Remus. Not a mention in any story about the war, or about the rebuilding, or about Hogwarts. There isn't an obituary, even, and Sirius tries to take that as a good sign; surely Harry would have seen to it that proper respect was paid, even if no one else did.
So when Sirius is ready, he has the TARDIS drop him off in front of The Leaky Cauldron. They would have taken him straight to Remus, straight to anywhere in the universe, Sirius knows, but he doesn't know where Remus is, and not even the TARDIS can riddle that out without more information. For some things, Sirius thinks, magic really is better.
As he takes his leave, the Doctor shakes his hand, and Rose cries softly while they embrace. She slips her mobile number into his jacket pocket, telling him to call her as soon as he is ready. Sirius isn't sure how many companions the Doctor actually wants, but regardless, he knows he will be having tea with Rose on a regular basis.
The TARDIS leaves, the by-now-familiar grinding noise fading into the distance, leaving Sirius alone in the middle of the night, standing in a patch of London drizzle waiting for the Knight Bus. He waits so long he is surprised when it appears almost out of nowhere, banging around the corner. It pulls to a shuddering stop in front of him, and the double doors open to reveal an older, much less acne-prone Stan Shunpike.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, transportation of choice for stranded witches and wizards. Five galleons for a standard issue fare, back of the bus, no bed. Eight for a bed. Ten for a bed and breakfast in the morning. I suggest you pay the full ten, sir. It's a ways to Hogsmeade these days, what with the roads being washed out by some spring flooding."
Sirius pays the full ten and boards the bus, knowing for the first time thanks to Shunpike where he's actually going. He uses the bed, but sleeps little, and the only breakfast he eats is two cups of coffee and one of tea. He has just finished the cup of tea when the Knight bus bangs and shudders, suddenly appearing in the middle of a road lined with small, modest homes.
"Hogsmeade, Scotland, 1117 Fardale Road, residence of one Mr. Remus Lupin," Stan announces over the new loudspeaker, though Sirius is the only passenger on the bus. Sirius makes his way to the front of the bus as Stan awkwardly collects Sirius' one bag. Stan hands Sirius' bag to him as Sirius walks down the Bus' steps. Once off the Bus, Sirius fishes in his pocket, handing Stan a galleon for a tip. Shunpike nods his thanks before yelling at the driver for them to be on their way. The Bus bangs out of sight once again, leaving Sirius in front of a modest two story cottage, with a small garden in front, and magical herb beds hanging from the front upstairs windows.
Swallowing hard, Sirius knocks on the front door. He waits for several minutes, but there is no answer. He knocks again, a little louder this time. Still no answer.
Out of curiosity, Sirius decides to make his away around the house, to see if there's a back door or to at least get a better feel for the layout of the house. As he rounds the back corner, Sirius suddenly stops. Remus is in the back garden, tilling, and pulling out the occasional gnome, then shooing it across the lawn. He's wearing a blue jumper with a white shirt underneath, and faded jeans. He's also barefoot, his toes curling in the dirt. Sirius doesn't want to startle him, tries not to make too much noise, but he must make some unexpected move because he watches Remus still in the moment before he goes straight for his wand, which has been lying on the grass near him.
Remus turns, bringing his wand to bear. "I don't tolerate visitors well," he says. "Especially unexpected ones."
Sirius automatically drops the bag he's carrying, but he doesn't reach for the wand in his jacket pocket. He just stands there, watching emotions flit across Remus' face - fear, recognition, disbelief, doubt, anger.
"Whomever you are, this isn't funny," Remus says, his wand shaking, Sirius almost afraid Remus will fire off a curse or two.
"I assure you, I'm not laughing, either," Sirius replies.
"You can't be."
"I am."
"I know. I can smell . . . it's been fifteen years."
"Moony."
"No one calls me that. No one has called me that."
"Not in a long time, I'm sure."
Slowly, Remus lowers his wand. "You might as well come in. I'll fix you some tea."
To tell the truth, Sirius has had enough caffeine this morning between the coffee and the tea on the Knight Bus, but he knows better than to decline. "Better to distract me until the Aurors come?" he says.
"Think what you'd like."
"All right," Sirius says easily.
He follows Remus into the house. The backdoor opens directly into the kitchen, and Remus immediately puts the kettle on, tapping it a little harder than necessary with a warming charm. Sirius watches as Remus opens and shuts cabinets, pulling out tea bags and mugs, sugar and honey. Remus hasn't used his wand yet except on the kettle, but Sirius knows that Remus has plenty of ways to use it covertly. Sirius doesn't sit at the small kitchen table, though he knows Remus wants him to.
"You're dead," Remus finally says.
"I've been dead before."
"No, you've been in prison before," Remus says quietly, and Sirius winces, the quiet accusation hitting home.
"I wasn't dead. Just gone."
"Gone where?"
"It wasn't my choice."
"You say, but we needed you here." Remus takes the kettle off the stove, pours two mugs full over Darjeeling tea bags.
"I wanted to be here."
Remus hands a mug over to Sirius. "Yet here we are in my kitchen, a decade and a half later."
Sirius tastes the tea - it's too hot, scalding his tongue.
"I came back for you," Sirius says, feeling the sting of the water burn on his lips, tongue, knowing what it was like to leave James and Lily and Harry behind on a whim that maybe, just maybe, Remus needed him. As if Remus has ever needed anyone.
"For me - what. Why?"
"Because. Because you're the only person I've ever needed."
Remus snorts. "As if you ever needed anyone."
Suddenly Sirius feels that gaping sadness behind his breastbone, the one that always seems to kill him. "I needed you when I was fifteen and confused. I needed you at sixteen when I was stupid and reckless and cruel. I needed you when I was seventeen and in love and kissing you was like the rising of the tide. I needed you when I was twenty and afraid and blind. I needed you when I was twenty one and cold and alone. I needed you at thirty three, when I was hungry and tired and guilty. I needed you at thirty five when I was angry and depressed and lonely. I needed you every time you loved me. Every time you wanted me. Every time you hated me, or just managed to tolerate me. I need you now, whether you believe me or not."
"You're still selfish," Remus says, mug shaking in his hand.
"Yes," Sirius says.
"What if I can't?"
"You can, Moony. You've always been able to do anything." Sirius steps closer and Remus drops his mug altogether, tea splashing down and shards of ceramic skittering across the floor.
"Reparo," Remus whispers, his hands skittering the back of the counter as he holds on, allowing Sirius close enough to place gentle lips over his own.
The mug flies up onto the table, jagged pieces knitting back together, showing cracks but still capable of being filled again and again and again.
Part One
Part Two