Fic: Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix) [House; Gregory House/James Wilson; PG-13]

[steelydanrydell]

Title: Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix)
Author: queenzulu
Summary: Sometimes even House can't predict the steps of Wilson's dance.
Fandom: House, M.D.
Pairing: Gregory House/James Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: David Shore, Bad Hat Harry Productions, FOX Broadcasting, not me.
Original story: Breaking The Cycle, by bironic.
Notes: Thank you to some amazing

Comments

[bironic]

OMG! OMG sestina! OMG awesome and clever sestina and it's sad and it's true and it's them! And the bits you kept and the bits you twisted so beautifully and the bits that complement and the new sides to the story, and your word choices, and, and, *love*.

The part that just breaks my heart is:

He's seen the cycle
of Wilson's affections. He watches, diagnoses, waits,
hiding his own heart carefully, where it won't break
and Wilson can't reach it

Oh. The fragility Wilson warned Cameron about in "Love Hurts," and maybe Wilson doesn't realize he can hurt House as badly. May have already.

And here: "He's still waiting / for Wilson to leave, to shout Enough! To stop the cycle." Because there, there's what we saw in "Son of Coma Guy" with his conviction that everyone will stop loving him eventually. That he'll keep pushing despite himself, and one day Wilson won't take it anymore.

And here: "He steps forward, and his eyes turn / desperate and dark, and then he kisses House like a flame, dancing," oooooooh, I can see it, smoldering Wilson-

[bironic]

Hi, I'm back. Well, I've been back several times, but today's the last opportunity to express glee without knowing who you are. So: more things I love about this:

The end words -- looks like you picked "wait," "dance" and "turn" from the body of the original poem, which is cool, because in addition to the subject matter and title here, it ties the two together even more tightly. I'm going to guess they did come from the original, because it's pretty to think that you wanted to emphasize the ideas in the lines they were drawn from. Like "Time tonight to stop waiting," when that's the crux of the poems, and "friend-turned-lover," which I thought was an awkward phrase in my own but tried to capture their trembling step over the line. This is about the turn to something different, something more. And "an irascible friend / He's been dancing around for too many years" -- it's so beautiful (sorry to keep using the same adjective, but it is) here how you expand on the facets of that dance and that cycle

[bironic]

it's like YOU KNOW ME SEKRITLY or something

LOL. I think having a huge ego and being a not-so-secret English/writing geek leads to feedback like this, knowing one's own work so well and homing in on details in the other.

But yes, let us be squeeful and totally sycophantic to each other! It's okay, because we didn't know who each other were (was?) a few hours ago! Go write!

[elynittria]

Wow! This is brilliant: the other side of the original sestina, portrayed in beautiful, moving imagery. The last line really tugs at my heart, because it's what I so desperately wish for House and Wilson.

[bironic]

queenzulu, you crack me up.

[roga]

bironic said it much better than I could, but this is beautiful (and impressive!). I love the phrase turn futility to bitterness, and the line He needs the break that Wilson offers him, either to laugh or to load his anger on someone else's shoulders - which is so, so true.

[topaz_eyes]

This is awesome. It's sharp, and yearning, and powerful, and I love that you wrote it as a sestina, because it's the perfect complement to the original. Wow.