Fic: Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix) [House; Gregory House/James Wilson; PG-13]
Title: Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix)
Author: queenzulu
Summary: Sometimes even House can't predict the steps of Wilson's dance.
Fandom: House, M.D.
Pairing: Gregory House/James Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: David Shore, Bad Hat Harry Productions, FOX Broadcasting, not me.
Original story: Breaking The Cycle, by bironic.
Notes: Thank you to some amazing betas, who reassured me that my sestina flowed: daemonluna, thedeadparrot, carlanime, and I think leiascully. It's been so long, if I got you to read this through for me and forgot to mention you, please knock me upside the head and I'll acknowledge you.
***
Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix)
Midnight, and House waits
for sleep, or for some chance break
in the weather, or in the pain that dances
outwards from his leg, or for the cycle
of Vicodin and whiskey and puzzles to turn
his focus away from his usual load
Of misery. His thoughts are live loads,
chambered ideas in a mind that waits
to fire when it will cause the worst damage, to turn
whispers into promises that can only break.
Today Wilson's eyes said he might leave Julie, or might not, the usual cycle,
and sometimes even House can't predict the steps of Wilson's dance.
He's restless. House knows what he wants, and it's a different dance
but one that comes with its own expectations, a load
he might not be able to sustain. He's seen the cycle
of Wilson's affections. He watches, diagnoses, waits,
hiding his own heart carefully, where it won't break
and Wilson can't reach it, or see it, or turn
Futility to bitterness. House has already lost too much. Everything turns
on the axis of his pain, on the pills, on Stacy's dance
out and in and out of his life. He needs the break
that Wilson offers him, either to laugh or to load
his anger on someone else's shoulders. He's still waiting
for Wilson to leave, to shout Enough! To stop the cycle.
On nights like this he thinks of climbing on the cycle,
revving the engine, roaring out to Wilson's place. He'll take his turn
instead of sitting out and hoping Wilson will make a move, or waiting
for Wilson to realize that his life with Julie is an empty dance.
Everybody lies; when House stops he'll know the dice are loaded
in his favour, and Wilson's only delaying to make a clean break.
He knows Wilson's knock, and when it comes it's sharp enough to break
the silence between them. House shifts on his cane, cycles
from hope to mockery, uses words so loaded
that Wilson doesn't speak. He steps forward, and his eyes turn
desperate and dark, and then he kisses House like a flame, dancing,
like an answer to a question they've asked and left waiting
Too long. They've spent a decade waiting, afraid to break
out of routines. Now they dance together, their desire cycling
higher. They turn to each other at last, and they ease their needless loads.
end
***
Author: queenzulu
Summary: Sometimes even House can't predict the steps of Wilson's dance.
Fandom: House, M.D.
Pairing: Gregory House/James Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: David Shore, Bad Hat Harry Productions, FOX Broadcasting, not me.
Original story: Breaking The Cycle, by bironic.
Notes: Thank you to some amazing betas, who reassured me that my sestina flowed: daemonluna, thedeadparrot, carlanime, and I think leiascully. It's been so long, if I got you to read this through for me and forgot to mention you, please knock me upside the head and I'll acknowledge you.
***
Load Cycle (The Breaking Free Remix)
Midnight, and House waits
for sleep, or for some chance break
in the weather, or in the pain that dances
outwards from his leg, or for the cycle
of Vicodin and whiskey and puzzles to turn
his focus away from his usual load
Of misery. His thoughts are live loads,
chambered ideas in a mind that waits
to fire when it will cause the worst damage, to turn
whispers into promises that can only break.
Today Wilson's eyes said he might leave Julie, or might not, the usual cycle,
and sometimes even House can't predict the steps of Wilson's dance.
He's restless. House knows what he wants, and it's a different dance
but one that comes with its own expectations, a load
he might not be able to sustain. He's seen the cycle
of Wilson's affections. He watches, diagnoses, waits,
hiding his own heart carefully, where it won't break
and Wilson can't reach it, or see it, or turn
Futility to bitterness. House has already lost too much. Everything turns
on the axis of his pain, on the pills, on Stacy's dance
out and in and out of his life. He needs the break
that Wilson offers him, either to laugh or to load
his anger on someone else's shoulders. He's still waiting
for Wilson to leave, to shout Enough! To stop the cycle.
On nights like this he thinks of climbing on the cycle,
revving the engine, roaring out to Wilson's place. He'll take his turn
instead of sitting out and hoping Wilson will make a move, or waiting
for Wilson to realize that his life with Julie is an empty dance.
Everybody lies; when House stops he'll know the dice are loaded
in his favour, and Wilson's only delaying to make a clean break.
He knows Wilson's knock, and when it comes it's sharp enough to break
the silence between them. House shifts on his cane, cycles
from hope to mockery, uses words so loaded
that Wilson doesn't speak. He steps forward, and his eyes turn
desperate and dark, and then he kisses House like a flame, dancing,
like an answer to a question they've asked and left waiting
Too long. They've spent a decade waiting, afraid to break
out of routines. Now they dance together, their desire cycling
higher. They turn to each other at last, and they ease their needless loads.
end
***