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Comments 53

slanted_edges January 29 2010, 02:55:36 UTC
Oh, you posted it! You posted it!

Alright, so you probably already know my opinions on this story, but: I love this so much. I loved the first incarnation of it that was submitted for Yuletide, but I love this one even more; it was the sort of thing where I didn't know what it was missing until you rewrote it and suddenly it was like, "Hallelujah!"

All of the characters are so much more expanded, realistic -- they're people, even Kesler and Greg the Asshat. The first scene with Kesler and the Captain America doll is all the more painful, and the scene with Samantha and "Spider-man" was just so tense, so well-done. In particular, I absolutely adore the New Year's scene with Billy and Teddy in the park, and how soft it all is, and just how plain likable Teddy is. In the original version, there didn't seem as much reason for Billy to like Teddy so much -- it was more like a heavy crush that was still just a dream, not exactly valid. But with this scene, with them hanging out on their own time, not just coincidentally meeting it ( ... )

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redshirtdiary January 29 2010, 12:31:34 UTC
Wow, thank you! I have to say, you did an incredible job editing this story; it wouldn't be anywhere near as strong without you. You have a knack for ferreting out my weaknesses as a writer and making me re-evaluate things I was taking for granted (such as flow, cohesion, etc.) I was frankly flattered that you put so much time and effort into your edit, which is a large part of why I took the extra time to go through it slowly. (Well, that and I never seemed to have time with my laptop. Lots of people on the subway think I'm very strange now, though, thanks to my hard copy editing and occasional grins.)

Anyway! It means a lot that you gave so much for this story, and you've certainly helped shape the future of this series. In conclusion: you rock! Thank you. :)

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inteligrrl January 29 2010, 08:08:58 UTC
Oh my god, I love this so much. This is totally the YoungAvengers fic of my heart. Teddy is so adorably sweet and *Teddy*, and it's so nifty to see who Billy was before his powers. Seriously, best YA fic ever. Dying to see the rest.

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redshirtdiary January 29 2010, 12:34:32 UTC
Oh, yay! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it. It was a blast to write (and rewrite...and rewrite). Thanks so much!

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suyari February 6 2010, 07:26:43 UTC
Oh my God, if you don't write more of this, I'm going to die!

You know I don't make it onto LJ as often as I'd like, and nowhere near as much as I was once capable of. Which saddens me, but is a simple fact. So, when I made my rounds today and found this, it was like Christmas! You recall my initial reaction, yes? Double it and add a few airplane cartwheels. This is truly a work of art, and if you don't continue working on it, it'll be a genuine tragedy.

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redshirtdiary May 27 2010, 11:40:19 UTC
Oh Su, I fail at timely replies. Forgive me!

A work of very slashy art? I would visit that art museum in a heartbeat. ;) I may pick your brain for ideas later, if I may!

Thanks for the feedback, hon!

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OMG. xpseudosmile May 8 2010, 05:41:26 UTC
Hi! Sorry for the fan randomnesssssszzzz but:

PLEASE KEEEEEP THIS UP. =[. I haven't read fanfiction this good in a long long long long long time.

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Re: OMG. redshirtdiary May 27 2010, 11:36:16 UTC
I suck at timely replies!

Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm thrilled you liked it. I definitely plan on writing more, if for no other reason than to get this stupid scene with Thor out of my head and onto a page. *G*

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redshirtdiary May 27 2010, 11:38:38 UTC
Oh wow. Thank you! I will try to update asap; I tend to be pretty slow without a deadline, but knowing someone is waiting for it helps! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for being awesome and telling me!

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