That film was so hard to watch. My heart just kept breaking for all those poor people who couldn't see any other way out.
I have a friend who goes sky-diving every time he feels really depressed and starts thinking suicidal thoughts. His theory is that if it is really his time to go, the parachute won't open. If the parachute does open and he lands safely, he takes it as a sign that he still has a lot more to do in this life.
it's such an impactful film. i feel myself succumbing to the peacefulness of death at the same time as i rail against the loss of life! so wrong, yet so right! or, maybe, so right, yet so wrong! i'm not really sure how it goes....
still, i thank you for the good wishes. while i do (often) talk myself out of suicidal tendencies, i also want to say that i'm as far away from jumping as any "healthy" person can possibly be. 2004 was the last year that i seriously planned my own death. since then, i just live vicariously through others. (gah. yes, i do know how bad that sounds.)
thanks for getting it.
and, also, i LOVE what you're doing in your own life! so fulfilling to do your own thing....
I love you. I think about you all the time though energy and pain does not always permit me to reach out to the people I love as often as I would like
( ... )
there's a young guy in the movie who felt just as you describe: "as soon as my feet left the platform i knew i didn't want to die" kind of thing. he managed to go into the water at an angle, feet first, and lived to tell the tale. but he's paralyzed from the waist down, and he TOTALLY REGRETS his jump.
sweetie, you don't need to worry about me. i've been in a deep, dark place lately, but even though i still (will always?) suffer from these self-destructive thoughts and inclinations, i'm nowhere near going through with it. i've got my plan in place, but for some reason that actually grounds me and makes me want to stay here. strange, huh? :)
dude, you talked someone down from the bridge? that's awesome in so many ways.
and, yes, i read that same ny times article! i love it when someone puts a positive spin on depression and suicidal ideation! because i DO get it...there are definitely positives to rumination. i've never met so many thoughtful, self-aware people...and they're almost all depressive and/or suicidal. it's both scary and self-affirming.
i've been meaning to write more; even started a couple LJ entries only to abandon them (because i have no FOCUS, dammit!). but i'll try to post more, for you and for fran, although i warn you i might only write about swimming and gardening -- the two activities that actually make me feel alive and motivated! :)
i miss you too. i leave for boston on wednesday, 03/10, returning on 03/17. let's try to get together after that. i'll email you to make plans. promise!
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I have a friend who goes sky-diving every time he feels really depressed and starts thinking suicidal thoughts. His theory is that if it is really his time to go, the parachute won't open. If the parachute does open and he lands safely, he takes it as a sign that he still has a lot more to do in this life.
Hope you feel better. *hugs*
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still, i thank you for the good wishes. while i do (often) talk myself out of suicidal tendencies, i also want to say that i'm as far away from jumping as any "healthy" person can possibly be. 2004 was the last year that i seriously planned my own death. since then, i just live vicariously through others. (gah. yes, i do know how bad that sounds.)
thanks for getting it.
and, also, i LOVE what you're doing in your own life! so fulfilling to do your own thing....
Reply
Reply
"as soon as my feet left the platform i knew i didn't want to die" kind of thing. he managed to go into the water at an angle, feet first, and lived to tell the tale. but he's paralyzed from the waist down, and he TOTALLY REGRETS his jump.
sweetie, you don't need to worry about me. i've been in a deep, dark place lately, but even though i still (will always?) suffer from these self-destructive thoughts and inclinations, i'm nowhere near going through with it. i've got my plan in place, but for some reason that actually grounds me and makes me want to stay here. strange, huh? :)
i love you.
xo
Reply
Reply
and, yes, i read that same ny times article! i love it when someone puts a positive spin on depression and suicidal ideation! because i DO get it...there are definitely positives to rumination. i've never met so many thoughtful, self-aware people...and they're almost all depressive and/or suicidal. it's both scary and self-affirming.
i've been meaning to write more; even started a couple LJ entries only to abandon them (because i have no FOCUS, dammit!). but i'll try to post more, for you and for fran, although i warn you i might only write about swimming and gardening -- the two activities that actually make me feel alive and motivated! :)
i miss you too. i leave for boston on wednesday, 03/10, returning on 03/17. let's try to get together after that. i'll email you to make plans. promise!
Reply
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