Pirates fic: it takes an ocean not to break; part two

[redbells]

Pairings: Will/Elizabeth, Jack/Elizabeth
Rating: PG-13
Length: 238
Status: WIP
Notes: Written for djarum99 for help_japan

Comments

[redbells]

Yay! Commenting! Also, first! *hands you virtual cookie*

I love how you show so clearly how wrong this must all feel for her. Her emotions here are perfect - confused, sad, horrified.

Yesssssss. That is exactly what I was aiming for in this section. Wrongawfulhorrible is the general tone I wanted to hit - I would sure as hell be creeped out if I was suddenly expected to guard my husband's still beating heart, nevermind that it's no longer actually in his chest.

You and your wonderful comments always make me feel like a competent writer. ILU ♥

[djarum99]

Such a wonderful rendering of Elizabeth's response, especially the horror of what she's been charged with, and her fear of the unknown. Will isn't the man she married, and she's had no chance to understand what that might mean. Thank you again, and I can't wait for more ♥

[redbells]

Thank you! I feel like Elizabeth was left in a terrible position at the end of AWE - I know that I would have been terrified if I were in her place. So glad you're enjoying it so far ♥

[sparrows_swann]

Wow! I agree with djarum99's comment above. When you think about it, it's actually quite a horrific thing having to bury your husband's beating heart. A very un-Disney-fied (is that a word?) version of Lizzie's story. I like it! When you think about it, the original versions most fairy-tales that Disney has taken on (Little Mermaid, Snow White) are actually quite dark. It's like you're doing the opposite - taking an original Disney story and re-telling the darker, more realistic version.

PS - I'm glad you liked the websites I sent to you!

[redbells]

This is possibly the most awesome comment I have ever gotten! I have always loved the original fairy tales much more than the whitewashed, Disneyfied versions that have nearly eclipsed them. I didn't consciously set out to tell a darker version of what might have happened after AWE, but that's definitely what I've been writing. Also, people like it! *happy dance*

Oh, and I'll leave you this assessment of Disneyfied fairy tales: "Disney gives little girls wildly unrealistic expectations about their hair. Also, men."

[geekmama]

An entirely plausible scenario, I believe, and very well written. Looking forward to more!

[redbells]

Thank you! So glad you're enjoying it so far, and that it's reading as plausible :)

[whensheflies]

Oh, poor Elizabeth! This just breaks my heart along with hers. Looking forward to part 3!

[redbells]

...I'm not being very kind to her, am I? It'll get better, but not for several parts yet.

Thanks for the read and the write!